21 Couples Share Their Strategies For Splitting Up Holidays Between Families

21 Couples Share Their Strategies For Splitting Up Holidays Between Families

Holidays can be stressful already, let alone adding a family to yours.

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The holidays are approaching and if you're anything like me, you like to plan ahead. Who you'll be visiting, what time you'll be visiting them, how long, the list goes on.

While I've been in the "dating game" since high school, the one thing that never gets easier is trying to merge families. I enjoy spending time with my family and my boyfriend's and vice versa for him. These are our first holidays together and trying to come up with a game plan isn't always easy. Do we split it up in one day? Do we spend time with his family on one day and mine the other? The possibilities are endless, making it that much harder.

But thankfully, these 21 couples, came to save the day.


1. Together - 4 Years, Married - No

"Typically I am working. This year though I'm off. We'll probably go to my sisters for thanksgiving dinner then meet with his family for traditional dessert later in the evening. His family's large so they usually do diners separately."

2. Together - 1 year, Married - No

"We visit his family for lunch and then later we do dinner with mine. We spend time with each side for as long as we can."

3. Together - 3 years, Married - No

"She sees her family, I see mine. Haven't really reached that moment in our relationship to where we want to bring each other to special events like that."

4. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"We spend the morning with his family and the evening with my family. Then this year we flipped the morning with mine the evening with his."

5. Together - 3 months, Married - No

"I won't be here for half of them, so low-key, I don't want to celebrate any of them. But when I was dating my ex of 1 1/2 years, we spent half the day with my family and half with his and we switched who got to see who's family first. So like Thanksgiving if we saw mine first, Christmas Eve we would see his first, etc. Except for Valentine's Day that was just us."

6. Together - 4 years, Married - No

"It's a two day event, on Christmas Eve we go to my church and have dinner with my family and do gifts. On Christmas morning we are with our own families, on Christmas afternoon and evening we spend time with his family."

7. Together - 16 years, Married - Yes (For 14 years)

"It's recently become A LOT easier as one set of parents moved to AZ. However, this has been a difficult nut to crack. In the early years we settled into a Christmas Eve his family/Christmas my family routine. Thanksgiving was meal with one half/desserts with the other half. When children were added to the equation, we held firm to not leaving home on Christmas. If they wanted to see us, they had to come to us (too much to pack up an infant and all their stuff, nap time, feedings, etc). Since kids, we've always hosted Christmas on Christmas Day for my family and planned a gathering with his family typically a week later. Easter has always been much less of a friction point (thankfully)."

8. Together - 18 years, Married - Yes

"Estranged from husbands immediate family, so just visit with mine."

9. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"Separately for dinner, together at dessert with my family."

10. Together - 32 years, Married - No

"Take turns for each holiday spending with each family."

11. Together - 2 1/2 years ,Married - No

"We try our best to have equal time with each family. Most of the time, we won't go to each others' family gatherings because our families overlap times. What we'll do is visit each other either early in the morning or late at night. That way, we can both spend time with each family but don't have to sacrifice time with our own relatives that may be in from out of town!"

12. Together - 4 years, Married - No

"Have holidays with our own families earlier in the day, visit each other's families later in the day after formal dinner."

13. Together - 5 years, Married- No

"Dependent on family member and holiday, some we go together, others we go apart."

14. Together - 7 months, Married - No

"We're basically going two separate ways for the holidays with our own family plans and work schedules. We'll probably do a private celebration with just us to exchange gifts and have some sort of holiday tradition but that'll probably be a couple weeks before or after the holidays themselves."

15. Together - 2 years, Married - Yes

"His Christmas day. On Boxing Day, we'll go to my side and have a big Christmas Boxing Day as well."

16. Together - 5 years, Married- No

"Usually spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine just because my family does more for Christmas."

17. Together - 3 years, Married - No

"For Thanksgiving, we have a big lunch with his family and then Thanksgiving dinner with my family. As for the winter holidays, he's Catholic and I'm Jewish, so celebrating with both families is pretty easy! We celebrate Christmas with my boyfriend's family and Chanukah with my family."

18. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"Visit each of our families. One in the morning, the other in the evening. We stay longer at the house we have more fun at."

19. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"His place for Thanksgiving—his family cooks a whole meal, mine just orders in and watches movies. My place for Christmas—My mom decorates like crazy and gives a lot more presents."

20. Together - 8 months, Married - No

"He is Hispanic and they celebrate on Christmas Eve... we have his daughter and we go to his family and celebrate there for the 24th, then my parents on the 25th!"

21. I had 2 couples (1 together for 3 years and married, the other 7 years and not married

They both said they split between the families evenly.

Holidays are hard, you always want to make sure you spend time with all of your loved ones while you can. You don't want to leave anyone out, and that can be especially hard when there's more family involved. The best advice that I can give, is to do what makes both of you happy and what is least stressful for you. My boyfriend and I have agreed that we will spend the morning with my family, lunch with his, dinner with mine and dessert with his this year (I think for both Christmas and Thanksgiving). Then next year, we will do vice versa! Do what is going to make the holidays the best it can be for YOU guys.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Photos You Have On Your Camera Roll Of Your S.O. When You've Been Dating For More Than A Year

A wide range from "Aw" to "WTF?"

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My boyfriend and I just hit the year and a half mark of dating, even though it seems like we've been together forever. Over the months, we've taken many pictures together... from football games, to his track meets, to holidays. Although we may have a lot of pictures together, I definitely have a lot of candids of him in my camera roll. If you've been dating your partner for as long as I have or longer, then you'll probably notice you have these same pictures in your photos as well.

1. The awkward first photos together

We laugh at these now, especially this one. Why am I so pale compared to him? It was July! And also, we noticed not to long ago that I was sweating under my arms and his underarms were sweating on me... what a great first time meeting!

2. The ones for VSCO

Every girl who has a significant other posts them onto their VSCO. VSCO is like Instagram, but more has more aesthetically pleasing pictures and there are no "likes." The pictures that include my boyfriend on my VSCO ranges from him holding a bunny to him holding my hand while we went ice skating.

3. Them sleeping

I have so many pictures of my boyfriend sleeping (I promise it's not as weird as it sounds), I just think he's so cute when he's fast asleep while cuddling with me.

4. The embarrassing ones they want no one to see

He's going to kill me when he sees this... but we all have those embarrassing Snapchat pictures that we start to send each other because we've gotten more comfortable with one another.

5. The ones for Facebook

The good looking pictures so you can keep yours and his family updated on how you two are doing. I took my boyfriend to a baby bird meet and greet since he loves birds and has one for a pet. I posted this cute picture of him and his new friends on Facebook so my family can see our adventures together.

6. Old pictures

One of the best parts of dating someone is finally seeing their old pictures. Although, sometimes they may make you cringe... like the one I posted above of my boyfriend after prom in his sophomore year of high school.

7. Their accomplishments

My boyfriend pole vaults for his college and he's really good at it. He just went to division III nationals in March because he qualified! I'm always at his meets so I make sure to get him on video in case he or anyone wants to see. I always try to snag a picture with him too because I'm always so proud.

8. The straight up ugly ones

He sure knows how to make me laugh. And I know he's going to be mad at me for this one too but I think it's a talent that he can do that with his stomach! Sorry, Adam, I promise I still think you look good when you send me these snaps for the most part.

9. But you have the hot ones too

He may be funny and sweet, but he is pretty good looking too. I know us girls keep some attractive pictures of our S.O.'s so we can remind ourselves of what a great looking partner we have.

10. FaceTime screenshots

If you and your lover go to different colleges like my boyfriend and I do, then FaceTiming happens a lot. Sometimes I get some great screenshots, like the one above, to make fun of him later.

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To My Cheating Ex’s New Wife, From The Ex He Probably Didn’t Tell You About

Know that whatever you do, I will support you and your decisions.

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To his new wife,

First of all, I will not tell you to run, to fight your way out, or to leave in the dead of night. I will not try to convince you to do anything you do not want to do. Ever. End of discussion.

I do not know you and, as far as I know, you do not know me. All I know of you is the life you have created on social media. All I know is what you and the man you love post.

But, as far as I can tell, you both are happy. You both love each other dearly and continue to care for one another each and every day. And I hope it continues this way.

I hope the two of you last. I hope he has grown since last we spoke. I hope he treats you so much better than he treated me. I hope he has grown into the man I always wanted him to be.

Whether he told you about me or not, whether he chose to work on himself internally or you worked on his past with him, you are someone that I knew needed to walk into his life. You are the kind of person I knew he needed from the moment I walked away.

The kind to stick by a man's side when he has royally messed up. The kind to call him out when he's messed up. The kind to accept his failures and love his faults.

And for this I thank you, I applaud you, and I cheer for you.

I thank you for accepting the man that I could not. I thank you for allowing him to grow into the man you deserve. I thank you for being his "one." And most importantly, I thank you for making sure I wasn't "the one."

I applaud you for loving the man that I could not. I applaud you for waiting on him to become a man worth waiting for. I applaud you for entering into his family and allowing him to enter yours.

I cheer for you and only you. I cheer for you to be happy, whether that is with him or not. I cheer for other women to have the life they want. If yours is with him, then I cheer for both of you. But I will also cheer for only you if he does something to make you want to leave him. I will also cheer for your safety and for your sanity. Always.

At the end of the day, I do not know what kind of man he is now. I do not know what kind of husband he is. I do not know what kind of wife you are. If he is a kind and loving man, one that does not mentally, emotionally, or physically tear you down each day, if he is a trustworthy and trusting husband, one that is secure in his life with you; if he is the kind of man that your parents dreamed of for you, then I will continue to be content with the joy that he brings you.

However, if he is a mean and rude man, one that continues to slowly tear you down day by day, if he is an untrustworthy man and a man that does not trust, one that is constantly insecure in himself and live with you, if he is the kind of man your parents dreaded coming near their daughter, then I will be here ready and willing to take on your cry for help. I will be here with advice, shelter, and comfort.

If he becomes the man that cheated on me if he becomes the man that I wished would take responsibility for his actions, if he becomes the man that I left, know that you have a sister and friend in me. Know that whatever your choice may be, I will support you and your life decisions.

Sincerely,

A Woman That Continues To Support Women

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