21 Couples Share Their Strategies For Splitting Up Holidays Between Families

21 Couples Share Their Strategies For Splitting Up Holidays Between Families

Holidays can be stressful already, let alone adding a family to yours.

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The holidays are approaching and if you're anything like me, you like to plan ahead. Who you'll be visiting, what time you'll be visiting them, how long, the list goes on.

While I've been in the "dating game" since high school, the one thing that never gets easier is trying to merge families. I enjoy spending time with my family and my boyfriend's and vice versa for him. These are our first holidays together and trying to come up with a game plan isn't always easy. Do we split it up in one day? Do we spend time with his family on one day and mine the other? The possibilities are endless, making it that much harder.

But thankfully, these 21 couples, came to save the day.


1. Together - 4 Years, Married - No

"Typically I am working. This year though I'm off. We'll probably go to my sisters for thanksgiving dinner then meet with his family for traditional dessert later in the evening. His family's large so they usually do diners separately."

2. Together - 1 year, Married - No

"We visit his family for lunch and then later we do dinner with mine. We spend time with each side for as long as we can."

3. Together - 3 years, Married - No

"She sees her family, I see mine. Haven't really reached that moment in our relationship to where we want to bring each other to special events like that."

4. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"We spend the morning with his family and the evening with my family. Then this year we flipped the morning with mine the evening with his."

5. Together - 3 months, Married - No

"I won't be here for half of them, so low-key, I don't want to celebrate any of them. But when I was dating my ex of 1 1/2 years, we spent half the day with my family and half with his and we switched who got to see who's family first. So like Thanksgiving if we saw mine first, Christmas Eve we would see his first, etc. Except for Valentine's Day that was just us."

6. Together - 4 years, Married - No

"It's a two day event, on Christmas Eve we go to my church and have dinner with my family and do gifts. On Christmas morning we are with our own families, on Christmas afternoon and evening we spend time with his family."

7. Together - 16 years, Married - Yes (For 14 years)

"It's recently become A LOT easier as one set of parents moved to AZ. However, this has been a difficult nut to crack. In the early years we settled into a Christmas Eve his family/Christmas my family routine. Thanksgiving was meal with one half/desserts with the other half. When children were added to the equation, we held firm to not leaving home on Christmas. If they wanted to see us, they had to come to us (too much to pack up an infant and all their stuff, nap time, feedings, etc). Since kids, we've always hosted Christmas on Christmas Day for my family and planned a gathering with his family typically a week later. Easter has always been much less of a friction point (thankfully)."

8. Together - 18 years, Married - Yes

"Estranged from husbands immediate family, so just visit with mine."

9. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"Separately for dinner, together at dessert with my family."

10. Together - 32 years, Married - No

"Take turns for each holiday spending with each family."

11. Together - 2 1/2 years ,Married - No

"We try our best to have equal time with each family. Most of the time, we won't go to each others' family gatherings because our families overlap times. What we'll do is visit each other either early in the morning or late at night. That way, we can both spend time with each family but don't have to sacrifice time with our own relatives that may be in from out of town!"

12. Together - 4 years, Married - No

"Have holidays with our own families earlier in the day, visit each other's families later in the day after formal dinner."

13. Together - 5 years, Married- No

"Dependent on family member and holiday, some we go together, others we go apart."

14. Together - 7 months, Married - No

"We're basically going two separate ways for the holidays with our own family plans and work schedules. We'll probably do a private celebration with just us to exchange gifts and have some sort of holiday tradition but that'll probably be a couple weeks before or after the holidays themselves."

15. Together - 2 years, Married - Yes

"His Christmas day. On Boxing Day, we'll go to my side and have a big Christmas Boxing Day as well."

16. Together - 5 years, Married- No

"Usually spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine just because my family does more for Christmas."

17. Together - 3 years, Married - No

"For Thanksgiving, we have a big lunch with his family and then Thanksgiving dinner with my family. As for the winter holidays, he's Catholic and I'm Jewish, so celebrating with both families is pretty easy! We celebrate Christmas with my boyfriend's family and Chanukah with my family."

18. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"Visit each of our families. One in the morning, the other in the evening. We stay longer at the house we have more fun at."

19. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"His place for Thanksgiving—his family cooks a whole meal, mine just orders in and watches movies. My place for Christmas—My mom decorates like crazy and gives a lot more presents."

20. Together - 8 months, Married - No

"He is Hispanic and they celebrate on Christmas Eve... we have his daughter and we go to his family and celebrate there for the 24th, then my parents on the 25th!"

21. I had 2 couples (1 together for 3 years and married, the other 7 years and not married

They both said they split between the families evenly.

Holidays are hard, you always want to make sure you spend time with all of your loved ones while you can. You don't want to leave anyone out, and that can be especially hard when there's more family involved. The best advice that I can give, is to do what makes both of you happy and what is least stressful for you. My boyfriend and I have agreed that we will spend the morning with my family, lunch with his, dinner with mine and dessert with his this year (I think for both Christmas and Thanksgiving). Then next year, we will do vice versa! Do what is going to make the holidays the best it can be for YOU guys.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Trust me—If He’s Really The Guy You’re Meant To Be With, He Won’t Be The Guy To Make You Cry

If he's the right guy for you, he will never try to put you in that position to have to feel sadness, resentment or fear.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong
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For anyone who might know me, you know pretty damn well that I'm a crier.

Yeah, I cry a lot. And I'm not ashamed to admit it.

I cry in the library any given day, constantly overwhelmed with the anxiety of trying to simultaneously write papers, study for exams and somehow pass my classes in order to get this degree.

I cry whenever someone gives me anything along the lines of a confrontation or an attitude.

I cry whenever I see one of those animal shelter commercials on TV with that tear-inducing song blaring in the background.

Simply put—I cry whenever something goes wrong.

And relationships are no different.

It's a bit embarrassing how many boys I've actually cried over the past couple of years but hey—at least I understand now that they weren't worth my time. I actually learned a lot from the tears I shed and if anything, they strengthened me and helped me realize the value of my independence as a single girl who doesn't define happiness anymore as having a man in her life.

But looking back to these boys who I DID cry about in the past, I can infer that they all shared a common denominator of being some complete heartless jerk and that each of them had also made me cry at some point in the relationship.

This realization irked me to the point of asking this particular question:

If the guy you're with is making you cry, then why the hell are you still dating him?

Seriously, forget any thoughts about him becoming your "soulmate" or him "always being there for you no matter what." If he's the one who's making you cry for one reason or another, then honey—he's obviously doing something wrong.

And to set things clear here, when you cry about something, you're not being overly emotional or sensitive. You're not being selfish (as he might put it) but instead—you're expressing your true, heartfelt emotions to him which shouldn't be something you have to apologize about.

If he's the right guy for you, he will never try to put you in that position to have to feel sadness, resentment or fear. And he definitely won't be sitting there next to you either one, trying to figure out what the heck he just did or two, telling you to stop crying like a little bitch. Because if he truly cared about you and your feelings, he will cherish you and would only want to make you feel happy and wanted.

There's a lot of reasons why we might cry over a boy.

To get a tad bit more personal here: I cried over a lot of boys because I never truly felt like they loved me the way I loved them. I mean, they would be telling me all these poetic things about how beautiful I was, how they could see a life together and how much they L-O-V-E-D me, but truthfully, I always thought that my devotion to them was stronger than their simple words/phrases.

I also cried a lot because they made me feel insecure and I was afraid that they would want to dump me for some other girl out there. Boys always have options, you know, and all it takes is one pretty girl to catch his eye for him to sashay out of the relationship to get with her.

And whenever I cried about this reason or that, most of the boys I were with simply shrugged it off as me being a crybaby, me being overly analytical about his wrongdoing or my favorite: because it was the "time of the month." Oh, please.

While different boys have a different way of handling this situation, he's still a rational human being with the ability to THINK and understand certain emotions! And if he really loved you like he said he did, he really won't be there trying to make a joke out of why you're crying. So if he's making the situation worse, or you feel as if he really doesn't seem to care about you, then it might be time for you to wave adíos at him.

The next time you find yourself crying excessively about the guy you're with, it might be time to re-assess your relationship with him. Don't think of it as you being delusional or just overly crazy about him.

Because if he's really the guy you're meant to be with, he won't ever make you cry.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

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31 Things That Are True When You Date A Guy Who Loves His Car Just As Much As He Loves You

If you know, you know.

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When you date a guy who loves cars, your relationship is NOT a normal relationship. It is always filled with adventure, and there is never a dull moment. This is what happens when the person you love, loves cars just as much as he loves you.

1. You drive everywhere.

Robert Keck

Down the street? Drive. Day trips for the hell of it? He'll be the one driving. Even if it is your car, you're probably going to be sitting bitch.

2. Car meets are a thing.

South Philly Car Meet

Robert Keck

Did anyone know this was a thing? Because before I started dating my boyfriend, I had no idea this was a thing (and it happens often). Yes, all these people just park their cars and everyone talks. It is a sight to see.

3. He will go out of his way to look at someone else's car.

Giphy

He will take an extra turn just to see a car. Any dinner reservations you have better account for the 15-30 minutes out-of-the-way driving.

4. There are a lot of late nights.

Hannah Porter

Whether it is holding the flashlight, or just keeping company, be prepared to be outside for a while. Always bring a coat.

5. There are more pictures of his cars/trucks than you.

Robert Keck

Don't get your panties in a bunch. I honestly have no problem with it. He still has pictures of me, so who cares?

6. He has two loves in his life.

Samantha Wylesol

You, and his car(s).

7. Every other sentence has the word "engine" in it.

Hannah Porter

Do you know how many different types of engines there are? Because I did not. Be prepared to learn about every single one.

8. An absurd amount of money is spent on car parts.

Giphy

Theres nothing more I can say on this matter. Just know it is an absurd amount.

9. You'll drive hours away for a good deal from Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist.

Hannah Porter

One day, we drove three hours for an engine at 9pm at night. It is always something.

10.  "I just need to fix this one thing" does not mean he'll be done in 10 minutes.

Robert Keck

Nothing ever takes 10 minutes. It's a trick.

11.  He'll be the first on the scene when you fuck up.

Hannah Porter

Yea, that happened. Guess who showed up first?

12. You will hear him arrive. Or, you will hear him a few roads down.

Robert Keck

Just wait until he fucks up the exhaust.

13.  There is always something to fix. Nothing is ever done.

Robert Keck

You don't even want to know what is happening here.

14. You will be doing a lot of flat towing and rescues.

Yes, we break down. It happens. You know damn well that he fixes it within the next few days. I have to give him credit, I could never do what he does. I can't wrap my head around it.

15.  Prepare to get "The look" if you drop food in the car.

Cary Porter

Don't risk it.

16.  You learn a ton of new terms.

Hannah Porter

I once did not understand something (actually about the above TransAm), and he pulled out a BLUEPRINT of the car. I still don't know what he talks about half the time.

17. You have your own personal mechanic

Hannah Porter

Guess who learned how to do their own oil and brakes? Anything after that he's going to have to handle. He constantly plugs my tires because I somehow find every nail on the road in Philadelphia.

18.  He holds more knowledge of cars than any other topic

Robert Keck

He is able to see a car and rattle off the make, model, year, engine, and all the other shit that goes along with that. He is able to do that with almost every car...how do you hold all that knowledge?

19.  If he is on his phone, it is guaranteed that he is either on Facebook Marketplace, Youtube looking at car videos, or Instagram looking at car profiles.

Giphy

Plus: he won't be liking other girl's pictures, unless theres a truck in the background.

20.  Whatever you do, DON'T SLAM THE DOOR.

Giphy

I learned this very fast.

21.  Prepare for a lecture if your feet are on the dash.

Hannah Porter

The whole outside of the truck can be muddy, but god forbid there's some dirt on the dash.

22. Cleaning out the car is not just taking the trash out of it.

Giphy

Trash out, tools organized, car washed and waxed, tire shine, carpet vacuumed and shampooed, all seats moved, etc. It is a whole ordeal.

23.  Tools are everywhere.

Giphy

Whatever you need, it will be there in large quantities. Also, let this go along with the ABSURD amount of money that is spent on car stuff. That ratchet in the middle can cost over $150!

24.  Don't open the garage.

Giphy

Just...don't.

25.  He won't go through a car wash.

Robert Keck

Hand wash only. Do not go through the tunnel. It will leave scratches in the paint (obviously).

26. There is always a "project car"...or cars. 

Hannah Porter

My boyfriend at all times has at least 2 project cars, I swear.

27.  Yes, that car has been sitting there for over a year.

Robert Keck

It will be worked on...eventually.

28.  He is a pro-negotiator

Giphy

No one knows money better than your car guy. When it comes to negotiating prices, he is the one you want to bring with you.

29.  Most of his friends are car people, too.

Robert Keck and Jake Ryan

All the car parts, car talk, car pictures, and all the shit that goes with it is doubled or tripled. Wait untill there is a car full of them.

30. He'll do some stupid shit.

Hannah Porter

He'll be fine. You learn not to ask questions anymore.

31.  No matter how much he loves his car, he will always make you a priority and love you unconditionally.

Hannah Porter

I must say, all of this stuff can be a lot to deal with. But when you have the right person in your life, you will enjoy every moment of it. I have never laughed so hard in my life than I have with my car-loving boy. Do not let this discourage you. Date a car guy. It will be one of the best decisions you will make.

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