21 Couples Share Their Strategies For Splitting Up Holidays Between Families

21 Couples Share Their Strategies For Splitting Up Holidays Between Families

Holidays can be stressful already, let alone adding a family to yours.

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The holidays are approaching and if you're anything like me, you like to plan ahead. Who you'll be visiting, what time you'll be visiting them, how long, the list goes on.

While I've been in the "dating game" since high school, the one thing that never gets easier is trying to merge families. I enjoy spending time with my family and my boyfriend's and vice versa for him. These are our first holidays together and trying to come up with a game plan isn't always easy. Do we split it up in one day? Do we spend time with his family on one day and mine the other? The possibilities are endless, making it that much harder.

But thankfully, these 21 couples, came to save the day.


1. Together - 4 Years, Married - No

"Typically I am working. This year though I'm off. We'll probably go to my sisters for thanksgiving dinner then meet with his family for traditional dessert later in the evening. His family's large so they usually do diners separately."

2. Together - 1 year, Married - No

"We visit his family for lunch and then later we do dinner with mine. We spend time with each side for as long as we can."

3. Together - 3 years, Married - No

"She sees her family, I see mine. Haven't really reached that moment in our relationship to where we want to bring each other to special events like that."

4. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"We spend the morning with his family and the evening with my family. Then this year we flipped the morning with mine the evening with his."

5. Together - 3 months, Married - No

"I won't be here for half of them, so low-key, I don't want to celebrate any of them. But when I was dating my ex of 1 1/2 years, we spent half the day with my family and half with his and we switched who got to see who's family first. So like Thanksgiving if we saw mine first, Christmas Eve we would see his first, etc. Except for Valentine's Day that was just us."

6. Together - 4 years, Married - No

"It's a two day event, on Christmas Eve we go to my church and have dinner with my family and do gifts. On Christmas morning we are with our own families, on Christmas afternoon and evening we spend time with his family."

7. Together - 16 years, Married - Yes (For 14 years)

"It's recently become A LOT easier as one set of parents moved to AZ. However, this has been a difficult nut to crack. In the early years we settled into a Christmas Eve his family/Christmas my family routine. Thanksgiving was meal with one half/desserts with the other half. When children were added to the equation, we held firm to not leaving home on Christmas. If they wanted to see us, they had to come to us (too much to pack up an infant and all their stuff, nap time, feedings, etc). Since kids, we've always hosted Christmas on Christmas Day for my family and planned a gathering with his family typically a week later. Easter has always been much less of a friction point (thankfully)."

8. Together - 18 years, Married - Yes

"Estranged from husbands immediate family, so just visit with mine."

9. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"Separately for dinner, together at dessert with my family."

10. Together - 32 years, Married - No

"Take turns for each holiday spending with each family."

11. Together - 2 1/2 years ,Married - No

"We try our best to have equal time with each family. Most of the time, we won't go to each others' family gatherings because our families overlap times. What we'll do is visit each other either early in the morning or late at night. That way, we can both spend time with each family but don't have to sacrifice time with our own relatives that may be in from out of town!"

12. Together - 4 years, Married - No

"Have holidays with our own families earlier in the day, visit each other's families later in the day after formal dinner."

13. Together - 5 years, Married- No

"Dependent on family member and holiday, some we go together, others we go apart."

14. Together - 7 months, Married - No

"We're basically going two separate ways for the holidays with our own family plans and work schedules. We'll probably do a private celebration with just us to exchange gifts and have some sort of holiday tradition but that'll probably be a couple weeks before or after the holidays themselves."

15. Together - 2 years, Married - Yes

"His Christmas day. On Boxing Day, we'll go to my side and have a big Christmas Boxing Day as well."

16. Together - 5 years, Married- No

"Usually spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine just because my family does more for Christmas."

17. Together - 3 years, Married - No

"For Thanksgiving, we have a big lunch with his family and then Thanksgiving dinner with my family. As for the winter holidays, he's Catholic and I'm Jewish, so celebrating with both families is pretty easy! We celebrate Christmas with my boyfriend's family and Chanukah with my family."

18. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"Visit each of our families. One in the morning, the other in the evening. We stay longer at the house we have more fun at."

19. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"His place for Thanksgiving—his family cooks a whole meal, mine just orders in and watches movies. My place for Christmas—My mom decorates like crazy and gives a lot more presents."

20. Together - 8 months, Married - No

"He is Hispanic and they celebrate on Christmas Eve... we have his daughter and we go to his family and celebrate there for the 24th, then my parents on the 25th!"

21. I had 2 couples (1 together for 3 years and married, the other 7 years and not married

They both said they split between the families evenly.

Holidays are hard, you always want to make sure you spend time with all of your loved ones while you can. You don't want to leave anyone out, and that can be especially hard when there's more family involved. The best advice that I can give, is to do what makes both of you happy and what is least stressful for you. My boyfriend and I have agreed that we will spend the morning with my family, lunch with his, dinner with mine and dessert with his this year (I think for both Christmas and Thanksgiving). Then next year, we will do vice versa! Do what is going to make the holidays the best it can be for YOU guys.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I'm A Christian Girl Who Lost Her Virginity In A Frat House With A Lil Dicky Song On Repeat, And No I'm Not Any Less Blessed

If you're not a virgin you are not a paper plate, you are not a used piece of tape and despite what those sorry illustrations exemplify, you are not worthless.

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12-years-old. That's how old I was when I was told that if I were to have sex before marriage that my wedding night wouldn't be special.

I was given sorry illustrations about being "fine China" and that I would be comparable to a paper plate if I had sex before marriage. I was also compared to tape. With each premarital act, I would become a dirty piece of tape with no value—unable to stick or "connect" with the husband God meant for me.

I went through my church's version of "True Love Waits." Yes, I know the intentions were good, but what stuck with me like a very unused piece of tape was that my worth was in my virginity. I still have letters I wrote to my future husband 11 years ago, pledging to save myself for him on our wedding night. I wore a purity ring to signify that promise and it served as a reminder every day that I wouldn't fall into the temptations of premarital sex.

I am now 23 and *surprise*—not a virgin. I lost my virginity in a frat house with a Lil Dicky song on repeat.

I was in and out of consciousness and this guy wasn't taking no for an answer. I was just too drunk to "stop it" like I wanted to. I still feel pretty worthless when I think about that night—and for good reason.

After that happened, despite the fact that it was just an unfortunate situation all around, I felt like I had nothing to give.

I saw myself as a used paper plate and a dirty piece of tape.

I had let down God, myself, my family, my church and my future husband. My wedding night wasn't going to be special anymore because I had nothing to give. So I just thought, what's the point?

Thankfully now, I know that I was completely and utterly wrong. Two years later and I have reestablished my self-worth and don't buy into the lies I was told as a prepubescent teen.

A person's worth is not in their virginity.

Whether you lose your virginity with someone you love, with a one-night stand or are taken advantage of, you still have your entire self to give to your future spouse. Those scare tactics and illustrations do nothing more than misconstrue where a person's purity truly lies.

I am not saying to not teach about waiting until marriage. I believe the Bible and God calling Christians to wait until marriage. I am saying that, as Christians, we should change the way we teach this value.

Yes, by all means, encourage teens and young adults to wait until marriage. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But as Christians, we should also teach that no matter what—you are loved. You are loved whether you sleep with nobody or everyone. You are valuable. You will always be valuable and no one and no experience can take that from you.

As a Christian, you will always be pure, valued and whole so long as God is in your heart.

I agree that God calls Christians to wait, but:

I will never agree that a person's wedding night won't be special if they don't wait.

I will never agree that a person can't fully give themselves to their husband or wife if they've had premarital sex.

I will never agree that a person is comparable to a paper plate or dirty piece of tape (why this is even a popular illustration I don't know).

If you are a Christian and you've lost your virginity you still are worthy. You are still pure. You still have your entire self to give your husband or wife. Your wedding night will be special. You will be able to connect strongly with your spouse no matter who you've slept with. Why? Because Jesus died on the FREAKING CROSS. He died for our sins, and that's not exclusive to premarital sex.

Your value and identity is in Christ—not something as overrated as your virginity.

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31 One-Liners You Say To Your Boyfriend Before, After And During The Sunday Scaries Hit

Sunday scaries are much more intense that we like to believe.

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Ah Friday. The blessed day of the week that kicks off the wonderful weekend. You have it planned where you are going to tackle everything on your to do list. You're going to clean, you're going to do laundry and even have a special date night with your boo. Maybe even grab a couple drinks with some friends. No matter what, you are not letting the weekend go to waste. Then, before you know it,

Sunday hits.

It's as if the second you went to bed Friday night (or Saturday morning, I won't judge) it immediately skips over Saturday and you are left with one single day to get everything done. The Sunday scaries are real and if you feel the stress that comes with them, you've probably said these one-liners to your boyfriend at some point during the weekend.

Before

1. "Sunday scaries are a joke!"

2. You think just because it's 2 a.m. Sunday morning that we can't have another drink?"



3. "Babe, the laundry will get done, we have all weekend!"

4. "Let's go out with our friends tonight! We have plenty of time to clean the kitchen."

5. "What do you mean we should go home? It's not even midnight!"

6. "But, what if I never get a chance to sing "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" at a karaoke bar again!?"



7. "Oh don't worry, I'm not going to let the Sunday scaries stress me out!"

8. "I won't have a hangover tomorrow!"



9. "I'm a perfectly capable adult!"

During

10. "OMG, BABE WHAT DID I DO?"



11. "What do you mean I sang karaoke until 2 in the morning? I don't even like karaoke!"

12. "I had, HOW many drinks?"

13. "Babe, we NEED to get laundry done."

14. "Why is this house such a mess?"



15. "Why didn't you stop me?!"

16. "Please clean the bathroom, my head hurts too much."

17. "No, I do NOT have a hangover!"

18. "Baby, can we pleaseeee take a nap?" *Says while crying*



19. "I just wanted to have ONE *sobs* GOOD *sobs* NIGHT."

20. *blows nose in boyfriends shirt*"We have NO time to get anything done!"

21. "I'm never going out again!"



22. "I can't adult!"

After

23. "Well, I guess it wasn't THAT bad.."

24. "I mean, we made some progress, we have clean underwear!"



25. "I can see the floor, I think we did a lot today."

26. "You know what would be a great idea? Drinks."

27. "Can we order buffalo wings for dinner?"



28. "I still don't think I was that drunk."

29. "The Sunday scaries did NOT get me."

30. "We should do this again next weekend!"

31. "Adulting is easy!"


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