Sex is the foundation of a relationship. And so is communication. Put them together with a few sprinkles of trust and empathy and boom! You've got the beginnings of a great relationship.
You don't have to "go all the way" to be intimate. Sharing a connection is all you need, but both parties have to be on the same page. Are you receiving everything you want and need? Are you giving what he wants and needs? Are there sacrifices you both have to make to be sexually satisfied?
Sex makes you happy. A happy girlfriend makes a happy boyfriend, vice versa.
But sex can also be just... nothing. You've got to have "the talk" with the one you're doing the deed with! If you can't do that, then why are you even having sex? Are you even enjoying it or is it just two slapping bodies?
Sex (or sexual intimacy) is vulnerable. It can be scary, but your partner is your person, your best friend, the person who you are closest with. If you're shy about sex even with them, then do you really have a fully rounded relationship? Are you even ready for one? I can guarantee that your boyfriend wants the best for you. Wants to please you. Wants you to enjoy sex as much as you want him to enjoy sex. If he doesn't, then you deserve someone who will want to physically and emotionally please you in the way you require. Simply, call for what you crave!
Everyone is different, sex included. Some people like it rough, some people are vanilla, some people like to take control. Once you figure out who you are, talk about it with your boyfriend. I promise you that your relationship and your sexy time will be a billion times more enjoyable.
Tell him what you like and don't like when he goes down on you or when you're going down on him. If you have boundaries — anal? Handcuffs? Specific locations? Let them know, and touch on every little detail. The more specific you are on what spot you need licked, sucked, and teased, how you want to be kissed, what you want to be said or what music you want playing in the background. Whatever you need to get off!
I wish I said that first.
If someone isn't getting what they lust for in bed, they're bound to get it somewhere else. Like this woman who cheated on her husband because he didn't go down on her. I'd never condone cheating, but I do believe in breaking up if your needs aren't being met. A conversation has to happen first, though. If you can't talk about your bedroom essentials than how will you be satisfied in life?
I for sure can't live with bad sex for my entire life.
Spilling everything you've got about sex helps to figure out if you and your partner can actually be together. It takes two to tango. If only one of you is satisfied, the entire partnership is unbalanced.
If you've got to start somewhere to balance your relationship, start with sex.