How To Figure Out Your Partner's Love Language So You Can Love Them Even Harder

How To Figure Out Your Partner's Love Language So You Can Love Them Even Harder

One thing you can try is to translate a phrase into a touch. Pretty simple, right? Three squeezes can mean "I love you."

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Just like there are personality types to identify the kind of characteristics we have, there are also categories that describe the way that people express their love.

There are five separate love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. It's perfectly normal to lean towards more than one love language. In fact, you probably express several of them to different degrees. But, the love language you utilize the most is usually identified as your love language. Here's a break down of each of the five love languages.

Words of affirmation are all about verbally communicating your love. This can be done through compliments, saying "I love you," and telling someone how much they mean to you. A lot of people label this love language in a relationship as reassurance. It definitely doesn't hurt to remind your S.O. that they're your one and only, and that no matter what happens, they will always be important to you.

Acts of service involve doing things for your partner, like making the bed, cooking dinner, and plugging their phone in so that it will be charged by the time they leave the house. The point of this love language is that you're making an effort. You're expending time and energy to make them happy. They notice when you go out of your way for them.

Receiving gifts is as simple as it sounds. It can mean buying your S.O. their favorite Starbucks drink, making them a cute DIY present (like a photo book), or ordering them something cool on Amazon. When you give them a gift, it lets them know that you were thinking of them.

Quality time means setting aside some time, even when you're super busy, to hang out with your partner. But quality time goes even further than a few dates and hangouts. It involves setting aside distractions. You can't have quality time with the person you love if you're texting nine of your friends while you're watching a movie with them! Quality time also means giving them your full attention.

Physical touch isn't always necessarily sexual. Maybe your partner wants you to cuddle them often or likes that you hold their hand every time you walk somewhere together. However, it's more than likely that having sex with you makes them feel emotionally closer.

People tend to both express love in their particular love language and desire to receive love in that same way. But if you and your S.O. have different love languages, this might be a tricky situation. However, it's not the end of the world, and it doesn't have to be the end of your relationship either. In order to get over this obstacle, you are going to have to learn to compromise and try to understand the way that your partner expresses love.

When their love language is: words of affirmation

Even if you're not someone that's not the best at communicating, there are ways to break this down and take it step by step. You can try to make it a point to come up with one compliment for your S.O. a day. If that's still too difficult for you to do, you can try writing out your words of affirmation instead. Take out 20 sticky notes, write little "I love you because..." messages on them, and stick the notes to their bathroom mirror. Then, when they wake up in the morning, one of the first things they'll see is your notes, and they will know how much you care.

When their love language is: acts of service

Maybe you're not that perceptive. Maybe you can't remember what kind of detergent they need at the store, can't cook for your life, or would rather be blatantly told what your partner needs. Here's the thing: You can always ask your S.O., "Is there anything I can help you with?" Even if they say no, they'll notice the fact that you asked and were willing to do something for them. If they happen to say yes, you can work alongside them with whatever they're having trouble with, which is a lot less complicated than figuring something out by yourself.

When their love language is: receiving gifts

If you're someone that feels awkward giving gifts, but your partner loves receiving them, you both can choose to start off small. Instead of spending more than $200 on Christmas gifts, maybe you can write you a sweet card and take them out to dinner. It also might help to focus less on materialistic gifts and more on experiential gifts. A trip to Las Vegas will feel less like a gift and more like a fun way to spend time together.

When their love language is: quality time

This one is pretty straightforward. If you haven't been making your S.O. a priority, you're going to have to start doing so. Something cute that you both can do is send invites to hang out on Google Calendar. They'll get an email that says something along the lines of: "Ashley invited you to 'dinner at Olive Garden' at 5:00 p.m." Make it a habit of being open about when you're free and when you have things already planned. It's all about communication and balance.

When their love language is: physical touch

Let's say, for example, your love language is words of affirmation. One thing you can try is to translate a phrase into a touch. Pretty simple, right? Three squeezes can mean "I love you." Maybe a leg touch can mean "I'm worried about you." And stroking their back can mean "everything is going to be okay." It's going to take some mental training to remember what all the specific touches say, but after some time, this can bridge the gap between your love languages.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

My Boyfriend Is Deaf, But He's Still A Great Listener

This is what dating my deaf boyfriend has taught me.

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I have heard countless complaints over the years resembling the statement, "My boyfriend is a terrible listener."

Women say this simply to describe how irritating it is when their boyfriends zone out as they are talking about their day or when they simply stare off into space as they try and ask whether they wanna order pizza or Chinese. They may use phrases such as "selective hearing" or compare the likeness of talking to their boyfriend to "talking to a wall."

I must say that I can relate to these women but in a much different way.

My boyfriend is deaf.

I have to say that my boyfriend's deafness has never once been a roadblock for me. If anything, it made me more interested in him. I had zero experience when it came to his deafness. I had many misconceptions of his hearing ability in the beginning. But, overall, it was something that just increased my interest in this kind-hearted, goofy guy. As I started to date this person that sometimes can't help but not listen to me, I realized that his deafness had zero effect on how much I cared for him and how well we worked together.

Unlike some other members of the deaf community, my boyfriend has two cochlear implants. Fun fact: cochlear implants are actually frowned upon throughout the deaf community a lot of times. They are said to remove the individuality that comes with the deaf community and its members. However, and I will admit I am biased, I do not agree and neither does my boyfriend. Cochlear implants assist him in living his life, but that does not mean that every deaf person needs or wants them to live theirs—which is OK. They benefit this person that is very important to me, and that is all that matters in my mind.

While all cases of deafness and implant-users are unique to the individual, my boyfriend had his first implant surgery when he was just 2-years-old. Then, his second when he was 10. I knew cochlear implants existed before I met him, but I had no idea how they worked, which was soon very apparent to myself and him.

Gabby Sheets

So, basically in the simplest terms possible, there are two magnetic receivers implanted in his skull. Then, there is the outer part that holds a circular magnet, a transmitter, and a microphone that magnetizes through his skull and to his actual implant. This, somehow, gives him the ability to hear, and to be fully honest I do not understand how they work. I probably never will. All I know is that he can hear me, which I did not know would necessarily be the case when we first met...

Gabby Sheets

When we first started going out with each other, I definitely had many misconceptions about my boyfriend's hearing, misconceptions that he will tease me about to this day. For example, I thought that I had to look directly at him whenever I spoke. My mistaken logic was that he would have to read my lips in order to understand me. False. Wrong. His implants allow him to hear exactly what I am saying the majority of the time, depending on if he actually is paying attention and how loud I am talking. He can, however, read lips though, which he has to do any time he is not wearing his implants, or like when I knock them out of his head on accident... Woops.

I also, at first, had this hilarious belief that he wouldn't be able to talk to me on the phone. I thought this even after I knew he could hear me in person with practically zero difficulties. It wasn't until he was over at my place visiting me, and I came out of my room to see that he was talking to his mom. On the phone. Because he can, perfectly well. To this day, I cannot explain why I thought he wouldn't be able to speak on the phone. It was my stupid, stupid mistake, and my boyfriend still finds my naivete when it came to his hearing oh so amusing.

All of this comes to show that I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I have confessed to my boyfriend that I was self-conscious at times, simply because I didn't understand. I was terrified to ask the wrong questions and upset him, but then I came to find out that he makes deaf jokes that make me cringe, not him. I was afraid of yanking one of his implants out of his head on accident. I have multiple times now, and it has never once been a big deal. I was self-conscious about hitting a nerve, about something that not only impairs his hearing but his life as a whole.

There was one night, at the beginning of our relationship, where we just sat asking each other questions as new couples commonly do. The question was, "What is your biggest insecurity?"

His answer was his hearing. My answer was my body.

I discovered that there are always times where he will feel insecure because he isn't able to hear like everyone else. However, I love the fact that he isn't like everyone else. I sincerely hope that he realizes that.

But no, I will never be able to truly understand what it is like to be deaf, to have this life-changing impairment, and that's OK.

What I do know is that by dating my boyfriend I have learned this—everybody is insecure about something. Some are insecure about something as superficial as their looks like I am. Then some are insecure about something that affects their entire life, such as my boyfriend with his hearing. It has occurred to me that if my boyfriend can overcome something as life-altering as his deafness then I can overcome body insecurity and many other obstacles in my life now, thanks to him.

I have never met a guy as willing to listen to me and my minuscule problems as my boyfriend. I have never experienced problems in my life as severe as his deafness, but he always makes my problems, thoughts, insecurities, etc. feel validated. He is understanding and considerate. He is reassuring and has a heart of gold, and I continue to be amazed by him each day that we spend together.

So, yes, my boyfriend is deaf, but he most definitely is not a terrible listener. Not at all.

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The 7 Best Restaurants For Valentine's Day Dates In Springfield, Missouri

No matter what you and your date are feeling, the Queen City has something for you.

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Love may be in the air, but so are the smells of some delicious restaurants. Springfield, Missouri is a place I have been lucky to call home for the past three years. And it's full of restaurants of all varieties, perfect for any Valentine—even the pickiest of eaters.

From casual dining to the finer side, Springfield has what you're looking for. By knowing some options besides Olive Garden, you can add a little variety to your dining experience and ensure a happy and romantic evening.

Take a look, build your appetite, and make your reservations early (if you can) so you can treat your date to the evening they deserve.

1. Aviary Cafe & Creperie

The Aviary Cafe is a Springfield favorite. This restaurant is open late, has a full bar, and serves sweet and savory crepes along with other traditional bistro items. The Aviary allows you to make reservations for Valentine's Day and even has a unique menu specifically for the holiday, which includes a pan-seared pork chop, pommes frites, and New York cheesecake made fresh in the bakery.

2. Flame Steakhouse

Flame is a great place to go for a more upscale and expensive Valentine's Day dinner if you're in the mood to wine and dine your date. Rated three dollar signs our of four on Yelp, this steakhouse and wine bar has everything from Alaskan King Crab legs to fresh flash-fried calamari to a dry aged 24 oz Porterhouse steak. This restaurant will no doubt be packed on Valentine's Day, so be sure to make your reservation as soon as possible.

3. Bambinos Italian Cafe

Bambinos Italian Cafe has some of the best Italian food in the Springfield area. Rated "Best Date-Night Dinner" by Missouri State University's newspaper The Standard in 2017 and Best Italian Dining in 2018 by 417 Magazine, this cafe proves it can back up that claim, too. This quaint Italian restaurant has some of the best food the city has to offer from crab cakes and pasta to tiramisu to some house pastas that are to die for. With vegan options, Bambinos is the place for everyone.

4. Druff's

If you're looking for more casual of a dining experience, look no further. Druff's is known for it's incredibly tasty and different sandwiches and soups. For Valentine's Day, though, things are getting a little spiced up at this downtown hot spot. For just $45, you and your Valentine can experience the magic of Druff's with an appetizer, some sandwiches, soups, and a dessert. Make your reservation now, because it's going to be a busy night on Valentine's Day!

5. Metropolitan Grill

On the more expensive side, Metropolitan Grill is sure to make this Valentine's Day a romantic one. If you and your date come here for your evening, be sure to dress the part that this upscale restaurant expects. From pasta to steak to surf and turf, there's plenty of food to choose from. This fine dining experience is a great way to show your Valentine just how much they mean to you.

6. Nakato Japanese Restaurant

Nakato is a Japanese steakhouse and sushi bar that will leave you and your date wanting to come back again and again. With a full bar and a hibachi grill experience like no other, you can have a great evening with food cooked just the way both you and your Valentine like it. Whether you're a sushi fanatic or experiencing it for the first time, Nakato is sure to provide a fun and interactive Valentine's Day experience.

7. Black Sheep Burgers & Shakes

Who says Valentine's Day needs to be steak and wine? Known for their fun alcoholic shakes and crazy burgers, Black Sheep is also filled with some yummy food. If fine dining isn't your style, relax this Valentine's Day with a nice decadent burger and a shake or beer. You don't have to go all out for Valentine's Day to make it a great one, and Black Sheep's burgers won't disappoint.

From burgers to steaks to grilled cheese, Springfield is known for all kinds of foods. With seemingly unending options for your Valentine's Day date, it's fair to say this list is not at all the only restaurants to consider.

The most important thing to remember is that no matter where you and your Valentine go out to eat, make your date special. With the right person, it doesn't even matter if you're eating at Steak 'N Shake or Applebee's. There's a lot of pressure to make Valentine's Day special and perfect, but as long as you think the person you're with is both of those things, you're set.

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