How To Figure Out Your Partner's Love Language So You Can Love Them Even Harder

How To Figure Out Your Partner's Love Language So You Can Love Them Even Harder

One thing you can try is to translate a phrase into a touch. Pretty simple, right? Three squeezes can mean "I love you."

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Just like there are personality types to identify the kind of characteristics we have, there are also categories that describe the way that people express their love.

There are five separate love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. It's perfectly normal to lean towards more than one love language. In fact, you probably express several of them to different degrees. But, the love language you utilize the most is usually identified as your love language. Here's a break down of each of the five love languages.

Words of affirmation are all about verbally communicating your love. This can be done through compliments, saying "I love you," and telling someone how much they mean to you. A lot of people label this love language in a relationship as reassurance. It definitely doesn't hurt to remind your S.O. that they're your one and only, and that no matter what happens, they will always be important to you.

Acts of service involve doing things for your partner, like making the bed, cooking dinner, and plugging their phone in so that it will be charged by the time they leave the house. The point of this love language is that you're making an effort. You're expending time and energy to make them happy. They notice when you go out of your way for them.

Receiving gifts is as simple as it sounds. It can mean buying your S.O. their favorite Starbucks drink, making them a cute DIY present (like a photo book), or ordering them something cool on Amazon. When you give them a gift, it lets them know that you were thinking of them.

Quality time means setting aside some time, even when you're super busy, to hang out with your partner. But quality time goes even further than a few dates and hangouts. It involves setting aside distractions. You can't have quality time with the person you love if you're texting nine of your friends while you're watching a movie with them! Quality time also means giving them your full attention.

Physical touch isn't always necessarily sexual. Maybe your partner wants you to cuddle them often or likes that you hold their hand every time you walk somewhere together. However, it's more than likely that having sex with you makes them feel emotionally closer.

People tend to both express love in their particular love language and desire to receive love in that same way. But if you and your S.O. have different love languages, this might be a tricky situation. However, it's not the end of the world, and it doesn't have to be the end of your relationship either. In order to get over this obstacle, you are going to have to learn to compromise and try to understand the way that your partner expresses love.

When their love language is: words of affirmation

Even if you're not someone that's not the best at communicating, there are ways to break this down and take it step by step. You can try to make it a point to come up with one compliment for your S.O. a day. If that's still too difficult for you to do, you can try writing out your words of affirmation instead. Take out 20 sticky notes, write little "I love you because..." messages on them, and stick the notes to their bathroom mirror. Then, when they wake up in the morning, one of the first things they'll see is your notes, and they will know how much you care.

When their love language is: acts of service

Maybe you're not that perceptive. Maybe you can't remember what kind of detergent they need at the store, can't cook for your life, or would rather be blatantly told what your partner needs. Here's the thing: You can always ask your S.O., "Is there anything I can help you with?" Even if they say no, they'll notice the fact that you asked and were willing to do something for them. If they happen to say yes, you can work alongside them with whatever they're having trouble with, which is a lot less complicated than figuring something out by yourself.

When their love language is: receiving gifts

If you're someone that feels awkward giving gifts, but your partner loves receiving them, you both can choose to start off small. Instead of spending more than $200 on Christmas gifts, maybe you can write you a sweet card and take them out to dinner. It also might help to focus less on materialistic gifts and more on experiential gifts. A trip to Las Vegas will feel less like a gift and more like a fun way to spend time together.

When their love language is: quality time

This one is pretty straightforward. If you haven't been making your S.O. a priority, you're going to have to start doing so. Something cute that you both can do is send invites to hang out on Google Calendar. They'll get an email that says something along the lines of: "Ashley invited you to 'dinner at Olive Garden' at 5:00 p.m." Make it a habit of being open about when you're free and when you have things already planned. It's all about communication and balance.

When their love language is: physical touch

Let's say, for example, your love language is words of affirmation. One thing you can try is to translate a phrase into a touch. Pretty simple, right? Three squeezes can mean "I love you." Maybe a leg touch can mean "I'm worried about you." And stroking their back can mean "everything is going to be okay." It's going to take some mental training to remember what all the specific touches say, but after some time, this can bridge the gap between your love languages.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Things My Significant Other MUST Do In Order To Earn The Privilege Of Meeting My Mom

I say "Hakuna Matata" on the daily, but you really need to say it when you prepare to meet my mom.

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Besides getting married, meeting the parents can be the most stressful time in any relationship. Your boyfriend could be freaking out because he doesn't want to sound like a loon in front of your dad or your mom may be chopping the vegetables a little too loudly making your girlfriend seem uncomfortable in the presence of a knife. Stressing for days (maybe even weeks) up until the day arrives is apart of being in love because you want your parents to love your significant other just as much as you do and when the dinner is finally over, you can breathe again. My family is a little different and my boyfriend has to do these things to be able to meet my mom and my brother (may as well add my cousins into the mix, too because they're my older siblings).

1. Pass the "Best Friends Test"

I have 6 best friends and each one of them has a unique personality. There's the momma friend, the crazy friend, the questionable friend, the laid back friend, the turnt friend, and the friend who just wants me to be happy. If they don't like you, I'll talk to them to figure out why they don't like you. Either way, if you hurt me, they'll hurt you.

2. Prove that stability is your main priority five years from now, even if I'm not in your plan

Things happen and we can't predict everything. We can be together now, break up in a year, and then get back together. It's part of being a teenager/young adult. We deal with a lot, I mean, we're in college, but the older we get, the more stressful life gets, so I want you to show me that you can handle whatever stresses come your way. I want you to be stable on your own before adding a girlfriend into the mix.

3. Deal with my "Hunger Fits"

Let's face it, I can be a brat, but I'm only a brat on three occasions.

1. I'm sleepy.

2. You didn't let me get my way.

3. I'm hungry.

If you eat without me or go get food without me, I might cry and pout like a two-year-old, so you have to be able to handle it. Pro-tip, have snacks with you whenever we go somewhere.

4. Be okay with getting roasted

My cousins are the funniest people you'll ever meet, but they aren't afraid to talk about you while you sit in front of them, so I need to know that you're okay with being roasted. They're not doing it to be mean (trust me, they aren't), but they're doing it because they're my family and they care about me as if I were their little sister.

5. Be able to hold an intelligent conversation for more than 5 minutes

Good conversation is an essential part of a relationship and I love talking about things that are happening in the world today and because my mom is super knowledgeable on a lot of things, you have to be able to talk for more than 5 minutes about something that's engaging.

6. Remain calm in the face of a difficult conversation

I know when it came to certain topics, I used to go off like a volcano, but I've had to grow out of exploding on people just because they don't agree with me. It takes months, maybe even years to master that type of patience and self-restraint, but I grew up fast, so I needed to learn in less than a year how to hold my tongue. I need to know that if you and I (or someone in my family) were to be in a serious conversation, you'd remain calm. I won't blow up on you, so please don't blow up on me (or my family) because then it might not end so well.

7. State your opinion, no matter how mad I might get

Following up with number six, this is a must! I'm a writer, so I deal with a lot of written opinions on the daily. I'm also involved in a lot of organizations where open dialogue is encouraged, so I deal with a lot of verbal opinions, too. People are going to say what they want to say no matter what and I want you to be able to tell me what's on your mind no matter how severe it may be. I'm here for you and I want you to know that you can trust me with your opinions. I might not agree with them, but I can deal with them.

8. Be able to sit and talk about sports and video games with my brother

You'll for sure meet my older brother before you meet my mom only because he acts just like my late grandfather; calm and laid back. He goes with the flow and doesn't get upset unless I get upset, so you don't have to worry about the big bad overprotective brother (but he is very big and very overprotective). He'd much rather sit and talk about "fork-knife" or a basketball game than grill you. It's just how he is. Also, don't be offended if he engages in conversation with you for like ten minutes before he loses interest in talking to you and goes back to playing his game.

9. Be okay and open to the possibility of a long distance relationship

I don't plan on staying down South for long. I actually won't stay here after I graduate from college. Long distance relationships don't work for 40% of all couples, but I want us to not be a statistic. I believe that we could make it, so I would need to know that you'd be okay with me being a thousand miles away; and of course, if you were halfway across the country, I would learn to be okay with it, too.

10. Love your family as much as you love me

Family is a big deal for me. It's always been me, my older brother, and my mom. You may come from a household where it's you and both of your parents, you and one parent, or you, your parent(s), and your siblings. I love my mom and brother with all of my heart and would drop anything (and I have dropped things) to be with them. I want to see that you love your family with the same amount of love that you give me. A man who loves the family he is born into will love the family he marries into.

My family's triangle has never been broken before, so this is new territory for all of us. Don't feel like an outsider, though! These may seem extensive and extra, but it's the things that matter to me. Aside from the apparent trustworthiness, loyalty, wanting three pets, having a sense of humor, and education that I look for in a guy, you have to do these ten things to meet my mom.

If you pass all of these, then you get to meet her. Don't stress about it though because if she doesn't like you at the first meeting, she'll come around by the next because she loves me and she'll see that I love you.

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To The Parents Who Raised The Man Of My Dreams, It Paid Off

You did a phenomenal job.

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As a parent, you always wonder if you're doing it right. Parenting doesn't come with instructions. You're not told how to punish your children in every situation or what to do whenever they accomplish something. You're not completely prepared for it. However, for someone without instructions, you did a phenomenal job.

You raised the man of my dreams.

I've dated throughout my teens and every guy seemed to be the same, but with your son everything was different. Your son is everything I've ever wanted. He is perfect. He is such a gentleman. I want you to know everything you taught him like holding the door and paying for dates, it worked.

I want you to know he doesn't show anger towards me. I'm sure I aggravate him and make him angry, but I want you to know I'll never know when I've done so because he doesn't show it. He gets mad with football games and after he gets done yelling, he apologizes.

He makes me feel beautiful. He has seen me at my absolute worse. He has seen me right when I wake up in the morning with no makeup and my hair is a mess and he tells me I'm beautiful. Whenever so get dressed up, he notices. He makes sure to let me know I look beautiful. He pays attention to detail like that my hair is curled or I have a new nose ring in and he adds them in with the compliments.

He is always supportive. Whenever I started back to school, he was so proud of me. When I started writing for The Odyssey, he shared my articles. He will tell me how proud he is of me. When I make good grades on assignments, he tells me good job.

He is so loving. He comforts me whenever I'm sick. When I had the stomach bug, he got my medicine, trashcans, and played with my hair to comfort me. He brushes and straightens my hair for me whenever I don't feel like it because he wants it to look good.

Thanks to you I have found someone who treats me wonderful. If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't know how to treat a lady. It is because of you that he turned out to be nice and respectful man he is today. I want you to know you did an amazing job raising him. He's everything I've ever wanted. Thank you for raising him to be such a gentleman. Thank you for raising him to be everything I've ever dreamed of.

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