Gentlemen, Your Wife CAN Bring Home The Bacon In 2018, Wake Up
681
views

A breadwinner is deemed as the person who brings home the most money in order to support a family. However, I feel like it is much more than that. Society throws tons of expectations and responsibilities on who the breadwinner is, what their gender should be, and what kind of job they hold.

These assumptions put tons of pressure on men of many ages because society has always created a mold for men to follow, and part of that mold is being the sole breadwinner in a family.

Growing up, my dad was always the breadwinner, and he probably always will be. My mom had the privilege of being able to stay home and take care of my sisters and me, and later on in our lives, she was able to get back into work. Realistically, I'm sure this is how a lot of people my age grew up, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Living within a world that is constantly putting labels on men and women creates a lot of pressure and chaos. Men are expected to provide, while women are expected to take care of the children.

Neither of these expectations are bad because I know some people out there strive to complete them, and good for them! The part that's wrong is that society expects a certain gender to do certain things, and it shouldn't be that way.

I asked eighteen 18 to 20-year-old college guys how they would feel if their lady was the one taking home the big bucks, and the results were a lot more mixed than I was expecting.

66% of the men who were surveyed felt they had a certain responsibility to be the breadwinner in their future or present relationship.

Of course, the majority would think this. Society has ingrained this into men's minds for centuries upon centuries.

Despite more of the men feeling a certain responsibility to provide, a lot of the guys responded by saying they didn't see an issue with their wife being the main provider.

"If we were both doing what we loved and we were able to provide for our kids, then it doesn't matter."

Heck yeah! This is what it's all about. Supporting one another in a relationship is key, and your family's best interest should be put first.

"I would be happy to be a stay at home dad."

"Besides the fact that it is a great achievement for my significant other, I also would be benefiting from the extra income."

I especially applaud you! No matter who the breadwinner is, you should support your S.O. no matter what. Men also revealed that if their wife has goals and aspirations she wants to accomplish, they will fully support her in doing so! A healthy relationship is all that should matter.

Although a lot of men did state they'd show support of their wife, there were also a lot of insecurities that went along with it.

"I'd be proud of her, but I would also re-evaluate myself."

There is no need for you to re-evaluate yourself! The standard that has been put on men has been keeping them from realizing that they don't need to compete with their wife. If you're both doing what you love, the money shouldn't matter.

"Slightly ashamed and insecure, depending on how much my significant other made."

Men also revealed that they felt they'd feel inferior and have a low self-esteem. Once again, there's no need for you to feel crappy about yourself. I know that's easier said than done, but I encourage you to let go of what society expects of you.

Within these insecure responses, I found that most men felt like it was society that was holding them responsible to be the breadwinner.

"Society kind of makes it seem like men are usually the breadwinners and I may feel like I'm not pulling my weight."

"It's just that men have always been the ones to bring home the money."

"I've worked very hard in my life to put myself in a position to be the main provider for a family. Unless my wife makes a significant amount of money, I'll feel like I'm not reaching my full potential."

Look, guys, I get the whole pride thing. I know the kind of expectations that are put on you as men and it's really tough. But constantly comparing what you do to what your wife does will drive you crazy! You'll just never be satisfied.

That being said, there is no reason for men to feel like they NEED to be the number one provider in their family. We as a society should give women a bit more respect if they are the breadwinner or hope to be.

We are entering a new time where men and women can BOTH be whatever it is they want. So men, if you want to be the breadwinner, go for it, but don't feel pressured to do so. And ladies, if you don't want to be the main provider, then you don't have to. But if you do, don't let society stand in your way.

Let's get rid of those labels and start accepting each other for who we are, even if that means not meeting society's expectations.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

When You're With The Right Guy, He'll Take The Time To Learn About Your Mental Illness, Trust Me

If he wants to make it work and really loves you, he'll learn all of your ins and outs.

16
views

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. The journey we've been on to get to where we are now has been one of the scariest and most fun roller coasters I've ever been on.

My mental health has come in the way of a lot of relationships, both romantic and platonic. I've never quite been able to find a way to master explaining it to people. And I still haven't. Explaining what can happen in your head, when you can barely explain it to yourself is a very difficult and often heart wrenching task.

When I had started dating my boyfriend, I was scared to tell him about my mental health. While I have gained a lot of confidence and it isn't nearly as severe as it was years ago, I know how it can get when "one of those days" comes. I know how scary I can get when I fall into a panic attack. I know how hard it can be to look at someone you love while they have a tear stained face unable to tell you what's wrong.

In the past I've tried two different things. One being that I wouldn't tell them at all and I would try to go day by day like I didn't have this cloud above my head. Once they'd see what I can get like, they'd leave. They "couldn't handle the amount of work I needed" or they felt burdened by being with me. Some would even say they "love me too much to put themselves through seeing me like that."

The other option I tried was putting it all out on the table. I had tried that once. I had told my most recent ex boyfriend everything. I laid it all out on the line, hoping that it would be different. At first, it was. He was comforting and understanding. Until it got to a point where he was using what I told him against me.

He knew my weak points. He knew what would hit the hardest and he was good at what he was doing.

It wasn't until my current boyfriend that I realized that isn't how love should be.

He could tell from the beginning that there were missing puzzle pieces. There were walls that I had build around me that I wasn't about to let just anyone knock down. At first, I found his pestering quite rude. Until he proved his point. He had come to me one night and said he wanted me to tell him everything. No details left behind.

I kind of sat there with my mouth open. I actually tried to pretend as if I didn't know what he was talking about. Within minutes, I was spilling everything. Every crevice I could have touched base on, I did. While I thought he was going to look shocked, scared, or bored even.

He didn't.

He was looking deep into my eyes the whole time. He never broke eye contact with me. He was focused and didn't say anything, just nodded his head. After I was finished and the tears were falling, he held me in an embrace and the only words he could mutter was, "You are so beautiful and one of the strongest people I know. You will get stronger. I promise."

He's taken the time to learn everything. He's watched psychologist's lectures, he's read articles. He's done everything in his power to learn what I need on my dark times. He honestly has gotten to know me so well, I think he knows me better than I know myself.

Not only has it helped our relationship as a whole, but it's helped me learn about myself in a way that I couldn't quite do on my own. He's offered me a kind of love that I've never had before. One where I don't have to fear rejection or getting left behind.

Ladies, if he's the right guy, he'll do whatever it takes to make sure that you have exactly what you need. Not just physically but mentally as well. My guy knows the days where, I could just really use a good cry and being held for 20 minutes. He also knows when I need reassurance.

A guy that truly loves you will learn these things about you. He won't ignore you, he won't brush it off and say "you'll be fine."

Take my word on it, that's the guy you'll want to marry someday.

I know I do.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

10 Ways You Might Be Low-Key Pushing Away Your Partner Without Even Knowing

"And one day your name didn't make me smile anymore."

8
views

Relationships are hard, I get it. You want everything to be perfect, but in reality, nothing is going to be "perfect." When the honeymoon phase ends and things become serious the dynamic of the relationship changes. Unfortunately, not everyone can adapt to that and without realizing it they start to push their partner away. It happens with both men and women...but I only know it from a girls point of view.

So ladies listen up, if you're doing these 10 things you might actually be pushing your boyfriend away without realizing it:

1. You're picking fights over the smallest things.

And they're over silly things, too.

2. You're giving them one word responses.

"Fine," and "cool" are not acceptable responses in person or over a text.

3. You just aren't talking to them.

The silent treatment is a HUGE no. How are you supposed to have a relationship without communication?

4. You're snooping through their personal items.

Totally invasion of privacy.

5. You're hiding how you really feel about them.

If your feelings have changed, then you need to speak up and say something and not ride it out until they leave, or somebody new comes along.

6. You don't want to see them as much.

Time apart is healthy in any relationship but just to not ever want to see them isn't healthy.

7. Or the opposite you want to be with them all the time.

Like I said time apart is healthy, so if you're with them all the time and they don't get time for family, friend, sports, hobbies or whatever, they're going to get annoyed.

8. You're not giving them back what they're giving you.

Whether it's time, respect, love, compassion, etc, you need to give them what they're giving you.

9. You think everything they're saying is a lie.

If you think they're lying all the time there's no trust, and you NEED trust.

10. You're letting your insecurities get the best of you.

Letting you anxiety and fears get to you and letting them win is going to destroy any relationship.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments