I'm a Hopeless Romantic And I'm Proud Of That, No Matter What Anyone Else Thinks

I'm a Hopeless Romantic And I'm Proud Of That, No Matter What Anyone Else Thinks

Growing up in a loveless family has pushed me to find that love I solely crave, and I don't care what anyone else thinks.


Living in a hookup-prioritizing generation doesn't help at all with me being a hopeless romantic. The mix of hookup culture and doing on dating apps and expecting guys to slide into my Insta DMs does not help with looking for my other half.

I want in-person contact, I want somebody that can sweep me off my feet. I want to have deep talks. I want them to love who I am, not just love the fact that I will stay with them — I will leave if someone takes me for granted and doesn't care about the consequences. Unfortunately, I do give people multiple chances because I believe in making mistakes and learning from them as long as love is forever set in stone in the background. I believe in fixing things if both people are willing to try for each other. I will fight endlessly for the person that I believe can change.

But regardless, I am proud of who I am. Because waiting and committing will be worth it in the end, especially if I find the perfect Prince Charming. Even if he doesn't exist, the right type of love can mold him. And don't paint me as some sort of commitment-phobe, I don't just settle for anyone. There has to be some sort of connection, and I don't just stay for casual relationships. If there's no chase and ambition in a guy's willingness to engage with me, there's no future in it for us.

If after a few dates the potential date wants to seal the deal, I'm not one for it. Personally, I don't believe in showing myself to the guy that soon. I prefer him fighting for the chance to be with me, fighting for me as a person and loving my soul rather than my body. I value that emotional and spiritual connection, much more than the physical connection that most people tend to believe in and prefer.

The physical stuff and affection all come later. That stuff will be natural when the emotional foundation is established. There's no point to rush it — there's still so much time to create that attachment.

I love being touched and cherished. It's all about the actions. In college, I've come across a lot of guys that expected I owe them something, even though they hadn't done much for me. They hadn't come up with date ideas, it was me doing the chasing. They weren't straightforward and mind games were all they had built for themselves. I need someone that is assertive, ambitious, and will woo the one person he will love and vow to commit to.

I love genuineness. It's the thought that counts. It's the effort that counts. It's the fact that sex is not all the guy wants. I know we're all human and we crave the connection and the support that we need from that significant other. We want to find the best friend that will love us unconditionally. And because we are so desperate in wanting that, we resort to having that through the means of physical displays of affection, even though we know deep down that it still isn't enough.

Honestly, I discovered myself being a hopeless romantic when I fell in love, deeply, for the first time. I didn't prioritize physical affection — I prioritized the date planning, the creative direction the relationship went towards, the type of connection that happened between my SO and I.

Yes, I am 20. Yes, I am young. It is too much for me to settle, but growing up in a loveless family has pushed me to find that love I solely crave, and I don't care what anyone else thinks. I believe in realism. I believe in fairy tales, just not the Disney ones.

I believe in fighting for the one that I will eventually love and crave every single day.

I'm not that attractive, and that's a fact. So I can't woo people with my looks. But in this superficial society in which guys take first impressions as a personality trait, I can only wish that the right guy can see my soul first and recognize that I am the one they've been searching for. And vice versa. See, I don't go looking for cute guys with awesome personalities, I love souls. Because looks fade but who people are will stay with you forever.

I never saw the love my parents should have given each other. I never saw the public displays of affection, and because of that, I vowed to find someone whom I would love endlessly and who is willing to give me all that love I've never witnessed firsthand. I want my future kids to see that love does exist, especially if they go through something that convinces them otherwise. They will have their parents, and that type of love can never disappear.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

5 Questions To Ask Yourself When You're On The Fence With A Guy

Is he worth it?


Whether you're contemplating if you want to continue your fling with a guy or contemplating breaking up with your boyfriend, there are always questions we're asking ourselves. Ranging from "is this right of me?" to "is this what will make me happy?" But if you are really sitting on the fence and don't know what to do next, check out these five questions you need to ask yourself if you're torn on what to do.

1. Do I want long term or short term?

This is a huge question to ask. If you're looking to settle down for a while, your guy may not want that. And it could always be the other way around as well. Make sure to decipher this with him so you both know what you want and no one gets a broken heart.

2. Can I see myself marrying this person?

I know this is a bold question to ask, especially if you're not dating. But really thinking about if you can see yourself with them for a long time can make it or break it. But say you're dating and you're on the fence of deciding you want to break up with them or not, think about if you can see yourself saying "I do" to them, and if you can't, let him go.

3. Can I see myself living with them/how do they live?

I've seen many people get engaged and move in together and later call it quits due to the way their partner lived. If you've been getting to know your guy for a while now and notices he lives like a pig, you may have to wonder if you'd be cleaning up those messes in the future.

4. How do they make me feel?

This question in a no brainer. If they make you feel bad, why even question continuing into the relationship.

5. Are they worth it?

Is he worth it? I know I have had some experiences when I was on the fence with a couple of guys and I've had to ask myself the same question. And when I'd question if he was worth it or not, my gut feeling always came out right. If you're looking to keep him around, always ask yourself if he's worth it.

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Girls, You NEED To Understand That Fuckboy Texting You ‘wyd’ 24/7 Will Never Give You A 24 Karat Ring

I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you his wife.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

There are five unofficial steps of hookup culture: Find a guy. Get to know him a little bit, but not too much (because you have to keep "boundaries," remember?) Make a pact to keep things "casual" and promise to still be "friends" with each other. Then, hookup with him. And keep hooking up with him without any emotional attachment — just over and over again and never expect anything more.

From a birds eye view, hookup culture seems so harmless. I mean, what's more convenient than having a booty call at your doorstep with the swipe of a screen? When you want to hook up, all you have to do is shoot that 2 a.m. "U Up?" text.

Hell, I even wrote a whole article about the perfect FWB situation.

Yet suddenly—here I am, Elle Hong, resident "Uncuffed" writer on Swoon and self proclaimed fuckgirl who glorifies hookup culture above anything else, catching feelings and falling for the wrong guys just like any other girl out in the world.

Consider this blasphemy. Or maybe I'm just dying to make a confession.

A confession that I, too, have experienced the feeling of wondering why I was never enough for the guys I hooked up with. Why they never chose me over the girls they would eventually form serious relationships with and why to them I only was nothing more than a casual hookup.

So, I thought about it. I critically analyzed it. I "Aristotle-d" my way into trying to find an answer behind the impossible question of wondering why I was never considered to be anything more. Over the past few weeks, it essentially became my new research topic and now, I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you into wifey material. Here's why.

First and foremost: Guys usually (but not always) choose to hookup with girls who they don't see as anything more.

Now, keep in mind I'm not saying that guys will NEVER fall in love with the girls they hookup with because it can happen. It's life. Life is unpredictable. No doubt, people have fallen in love on Tinder and married a random match who just happened to become The One. But we all know what Tinder is really for. Generally speaking, guys will seek random hookups with the types of girls they think are "easy" and if they're desperate enough, it's definitely not going to be someone they view as their future wife.

If he thinks you're cute, you're within 10 miles radius and you can hold a conversation, it doesn't matter what your annual salary is or how many siblings you got—he wants one thing and it's to get you in bed. And until a guys find this girl who captures his heart and inevitably makes him want to settle, he's going to go around hooking up with random girls left and right. So in this case, it's not your fault. You're just with the wrong type of guy who only thinks of you as his sexual conquest.

See also: Guys want to settle with girls that don't go around hooking up with other people.

Ironic as hell because I just talked about why guys would never want to settle, period. But think about it—guys are humans with rational thoughts and animalistic desires. When they find their territory, they mark it. Once he finds a girl who is the one, he never wants to let her go. And he never wants to see that girl be with another guy or god forbid, go around hooking up with other guys. So here's the moral of the story to get my point across: I hate to break it to you, but bragging about how many other guys you're f*cking outside of your current FWB situationship isn't going to help develop the relationship any further.

Finally: A girl's "hoe phase" might seem empowering but for guys they see it as a threat.

Thanks to the wonderful millennial encyclopedia that we call Urban Dictionary, we have a definition behind this certain life style: A phase in life which occurs when a girl goes around social settings exploring herself, committing promiscuous acts and connecting with random people. For girls, it seems pretty damn empowering, doesn't it? For us it's a chance to let loose, to live a lil bit more and to run around as independent women. Nothing wrong with that of course.

But for guys to perceive this type of lifestyle, they see it as a threat which could arise if they form a relationship with you. It's simple logic here. A girl who's in her "hoe phase" is more likely to be unfaithful since they're always out and about with this person and that person. Put it this way: a guy doesn't care if you're a hoe—but he only wants you to be HIS hoe and not everyone else's. So you might think that it's a great way to express yourself and to enjoy your college years, but keep in mind that it could possibly be holding you back from taking the next step with your casual FWB.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

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