I'm a Hopeless Romantic And I'm Proud Of That, No Matter What Anyone Else Thinks

I'm a Hopeless Romantic And I'm Proud Of That, No Matter What Anyone Else Thinks

Growing up in a loveless family has pushed me to find that love I solely crave, and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

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Living in a hookup-prioritizing generation doesn't help at all with me being a hopeless romantic. The mix of hookup culture and doing on dating apps and expecting guys to slide into my Insta DMs does not help with looking for my other half.

I want in-person contact, I want somebody that can sweep me off my feet. I want to have deep talks. I want them to love who I am, not just love the fact that I will stay with them — I will leave if someone takes me for granted and doesn't care about the consequences. Unfortunately, I do give people multiple chances because I believe in making mistakes and learning from them as long as love is forever set in stone in the background. I believe in fixing things if both people are willing to try for each other. I will fight endlessly for the person that I believe can change.

But regardless, I am proud of who I am. Because waiting and committing will be worth it in the end, especially if I find the perfect Prince Charming. Even if he doesn't exist, the right type of love can mold him. And don't paint me as some sort of commitment-phobe, I don't just settle for anyone. There has to be some sort of connection, and I don't just stay for casual relationships. If there's no chase and ambition in a guy's willingness to engage with me, there's no future in it for us.

If after a few dates the potential date wants to seal the deal, I'm not one for it. Personally, I don't believe in showing myself to the guy that soon. I prefer him fighting for the chance to be with me, fighting for me as a person and loving my soul rather than my body. I value that emotional and spiritual connection, much more than the physical connection that most people tend to believe in and prefer.

The physical stuff and affection all come later. That stuff will be natural when the emotional foundation is established. There's no point to rush it — there's still so much time to create that attachment.

I love being touched and cherished. It's all about the actions. In college, I've come across a lot of guys that expected I owe them something, even though they hadn't done much for me. They hadn't come up with date ideas, it was me doing the chasing. They weren't straightforward and mind games were all they had built for themselves. I need someone that is assertive, ambitious, and will woo the one person he will love and vow to commit to.

I love genuineness. It's the thought that counts. It's the effort that counts. It's the fact that sex is not all the guy wants. I know we're all human and we crave the connection and the support that we need from that significant other. We want to find the best friend that will love us unconditionally. And because we are so desperate in wanting that, we resort to having that through the means of physical displays of affection, even though we know deep down that it still isn't enough.

Honestly, I discovered myself being a hopeless romantic when I fell in love, deeply, for the first time. I didn't prioritize physical affection — I prioritized the date planning, the creative direction the relationship went towards, the type of connection that happened between my SO and I.

Yes, I am 20. Yes, I am young. It is too much for me to settle, but growing up in a loveless family has pushed me to find that love I solely crave, and I don't care what anyone else thinks. I believe in realism. I believe in fairy tales, just not the Disney ones.

I believe in fighting for the one that I will eventually love and crave every single day.

I'm not that attractive, and that's a fact. So I can't woo people with my looks. But in this superficial society in which guys take first impressions as a personality trait, I can only wish that the right guy can see my soul first and recognize that I am the one they've been searching for. And vice versa. See, I don't go looking for cute guys with awesome personalities, I love souls. Because looks fade but who people are will stay with you forever.

I never saw the love my parents should have given each other. I never saw the public displays of affection, and because of that, I vowed to find someone whom I would love endlessly and who is willing to give me all that love I've never witnessed firsthand. I want my future kids to see that love does exist, especially if they go through something that convinces them otherwise. They will have their parents, and that type of love can never disappear.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Am A Hopeless Romantic Living In A World Where One-Night Stands Are The Norm

It's the little things.

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In today's society, it can certainly start to feel like no one takes love seriously anymore.

Whether it's that one couple who has broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count, the two friends-with-benefits no one can figure out, your local womanizer, or just hookups in general, love and lust are a huge part of specifically college life and culture.

As a hopeless romantic, being part of a generation that "just wants to have fun" can be really frustrating, especially when you just want to find something real. It is so easy for people to put on a fake act just to get what they want and sometimes this can be extremely hard to see through. I'm sure we've all had some kind of incident with someone who played nice but had ulterior motives and the sad truth is that it can be impossible to recognize a person's artificiality.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have always classified myself as such, and it has remained true. Sure, I can make the most of the freedoms I have as a single college woman, but deep down I just want to find my person.

I've had my fair share of letdowns, and I think we all have, but being a hopeless romantic makes it that much more difficult to get past the "what ifs" and fantasies that come along with starting something with someone new. We may already have our hearts set on a person when they decide they've gotten what they wanted and leave.

For me, I find myself caught up in the little things that someone does. I have always been someone who picks up on small details in situations, and sometimes this works against me.

I pick up on the small facial expressions that he may not even realize he is making; the ones that tell you when their guard has been let down, even just for a split second.

I pick up on the way he sits our two cellphones side by side on the nightstand, taking care to line them up perfectly as if that's just their spot.

I pick up on the short moments of laughter where he actually lets himself laugh and forgets about the act.

I pick up on things, and sometimes I end up hurting because of it.

When it comes down to it, though, I wouldn't change the way that I am. I wouldn't change the fact that I find myself in the search for more in a society that mostly only offers me less.

The trait that tends to hurt me most is also the one that I value most. Even if noticing all the little things is something that contributes to my own heartache, I love those moments. There is something beautiful about those tiny things shared by two people, even if the connection ends there.

Sure, it can be hard. But so can everything.

It's just a matter of finding the beauty.

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Dedicate Your Summer To Bettering Yourself For Yourself, Not Your Ex

Why waste energy on an ex who doesn't care about you anymore?

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I'm single for the summer (yet again, no shock there) but this summer there's something in the air that just feels different. It's the feeling of true acceptance of my single status.

Last summer I was single when I really didn't want to be. My heart with still holding out for a guy who wasn't interested in anything more than my friendship. It took me from late March all the way until Halloween to get over those feelings. However, while working through those tough feelings that summer, I came to enjoy my time on my own and not talking to anyone except my best friends. I didn't have to worry about when I'd get a text back, or if I'd be left on read, or who he'd be out with since I wasn't around. The only thing I needed to worry about was my paychecks and tan lines.

Sometimes after breaking things off with someone who you put so much effort into, whether it was a boyfriend, an almost relationship, or even a friend with benefits, it's easy to want to show off on social media and make them regret ever hurting you or ending things. Why? It's a nice little ego boost, sure, but after those few seconds of glee from the fact that you know they've seen and maybe even liked your picture or your tweet, or saw your story on Snapchat, do you still feel happy? No, you go right back to feeling like crap, whether you want to admit it or not. Stop making yourself all about them when that ship has sailed and start being all about you.

Your ex is off doing their own thing, maybe thinking about you, but obviously not enough to want you back in their life the way you used to be. They are probably out there finding a new person to take your spot because they don't have you at their beck and call anymore. If they're also showing off to show you how much better they are without you or to make you jealous...why are you still following them or still participating in this sick little game for attention? Grow up and block them so you don't have to keep seeing their posts, or be adult enough to stop if you're doing the same as well. If it's only you posting, chances are you just look stupid, so stop before you really embarrass yourself. I was that person, and I know first hand how embarrassed I am for acting the way I did.

Summer is synonymous for doing whatever the hell you want. Wear what you want, say what you want, and be the best version of yourself that only a high dose of Vitamin D can bring out. Your ex is an ex for many reasons. You have to set aside the summer for you and what benefits you only. Don't concern yourself with an ex who doesn't care in the least about you anymore. Coming from someone who posted thirst traps aimed at a specific person along with countless shady AF stories on Snap and Insta in the hopes that this one person and their friends would see it, just stop and save yourself the energy as well as regret.

We're all adults, it's time to stop the petty posts and photos. Post your thirst trap for yourself because you're a sexy queen who doesn't need anyone but herself. Once you start focusing on yourself this summer, instead of your ex, you'll realize just have great it feels to truly be free.

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