When I began college four years ago, many of my friends got on the popular dating app Tinder. They convinced me to get on it although I was quite skeptical about it because I had a very old fashioned view on dating in which I wanted to date people I solely met in person.
So I gave Tinder a try and honestly I was quite disgusted with what I encountered if I am being completely honest yet I let it continue for four years. All these boys would message me something sweet such as "hey beautiful" and then would hit me with the "wanna fuck?" message.
Just imagine getting hundreds upon hundreds of unsavory messages from those you match and getting so fed up and tired of it that you want to make a drastic change.
I mainly met very unfavorable people who treated me like crap but along the way, I also met very few great guys throughout all of this that I have remained really great friends with.
I thought I would have learned after my ONE relationship I got out of Tinder I got into that ended in quite a fiasco but I didn't. I wasted over a year and a half being constantly on-and-off with that ex-boyfriend because he kept handing out promises he couldn't keep and with that I couldn't give in to what he was ACTUALLY looking for because I knew I could not trust him.
This whole time I wanted to eventually find someone who could help me forget about the boy I think I forbiddingly still love but I was too stupid to think that I could find someone on these dating apps that are filled with way too many thirsty boys.
So recently one night, I took it upon myself to have the courage to permanently delete both my Tinder and Bumble accounts.
I had a realization in the middle in the night that I have been allowing myself to be settling for less because I think it is what I deserve. I also realized that I have been letting myself been seen as an "easy" girl which has led be constantly manipulated and used.
I am extremely fed up of being seen and treated as an object by the boys I have encountered. I had my fun and I have also had MANY life lessons to learn from. But now after four long years, it was officially time to get rid of this negativity.
And this time it will be for good.
I will be taking a break from dating overall until I feel ready to put myself out there again and hope to find something serious. I honestly can't wait to see what the future holds for me as I will use this fresh start to figuring out exactly what I want and to start learning to fully love myself.