I’m Sorry My Version Of Happily Ever After Isn’t Your #RelationshipGoals

I’m Sorry My Version Of Happily Ever After Isn’t Your #RelationshipGoals

Sorry dad, I am walking down the aisle alone
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I suppose I’ve had a lot of time to think about all the things I want for my future. Nearly 20 years. I, like many girls, have fallen into the trap of Pinterest and have saved kitchens, children and wedding dresses to my boards. But as I got older my life kept changing—the way it does—so did my #goals and my Pinterest boards.

I have been to a handful of weddings in my life…enough to realize I don’t want one.

I always thought I’d be the girl in the princess ball gown with a gorgeous bouquet of expensive and exotic flowers whose colors were strewn down the aisle, over the arch where I would say “I do” and in the hands of my carefully chosen bridal party of 22. Yes I know. Ridiculous.

But the more weddings I went to, the more I realized how impersonal they could become by inviting 275 people who would sit in the audience and listen to you tell the love of your life your vows to them, because honestly nobody gives a shit. Maybe your parents, but even they get distracted. Then after, when the reception is full of trying to have meaningful conversations with people who don’t mean that much to you; you’d rather be at home in bed with a glass of wine and a movie.

I always thought I couldn’t take my wedding day away from my loved ones, but the thing is—I can. It’s not about anyone but my future partner and I. There is a beauty about picking any place in the world to get married and tying the knot there. On the park bench you first met, surrounded by nature or anywhere else that seems fitting. But I don’t want 200 people hoping that the food is good and there’s an open bar, taking away from that moment, because it’s not about them. Not at all.

To go along with that, if my partner confesses that he doesn’t want to elope, and I say fine as long as we keep the guest list under 75, and he says okay, I am sorry dad, but I am walking down the aisle alone.

I am not now, nor have I ever been, anyone’s property and do not need to be “given away”. I am my own. And I am very capable of walking down an aisle and making a commitment to someone else, forever, on my own. The thought that we still embrace such a degrading tradition is beside me. I am not anyone’s to give away. Sorry Dad—nothing against you. The photo op is not worth my independence and my ability to make my own decisions. It never should be.

Going off of this, a quick note to my future partner: don’t ask anyone’s permission to marry me.

I don’t need it. And the only person you need permission from is yours truly. I’m sure I’ll say yes so don’t freak out. Plus, I am perfectly okay with nothing more than a plain wedding band, yes, diamond free. It doesn’t matter. I hope our love is never bow tied with a ring. I hope our love is bow tied with laughter, and friendship and late night takeout pizza and too many beers and moments like this filled with companionship.

I don’t want any of the things I once thought I did. I don’t need those big houses, nice cars, 3-carat engagement rings, a room full of people and a dress I’ll never wear again and spent way too much money on. I want a love that’s full of everything it should be, because I hope, when I meet the person I’m supposed to be with forever, none of that matters.

Why does a wedding have to be thousands of dollars? Why can’t we get married wherever we want, have that moment together and come back to our closest family and friends and a party filled with food that’s actually good, a backyard bartender and real celebration that doesn’t feel stuffy and fake and full of people you’re just trying to impress. A love that is real will never need any thing more than the looks in the eyes of those holding it, to prove its existence.

So I am sorry Mom & Dad, for taking these moments away from you, I am. But if you want, I’ll hire a videographer and my wedding will cost 1,000 dollars, and it will be the most practical thing I have ever done. And unlike the running joke, there will be no bridezilla, from this type A, hopeless romantic who has thought about this day since she was six. Who knew?

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To My Future Fiance, If You’re Proposing To Me For The Instagram Content, Have Fun Posting A Video Of Me Saying ‘No’

Whoever you are, take notes for future reference.

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OK, OK, he can propose to me in public, but if it's a grand event that has nothing to do with my character, then 100% I'm saying, "No, try again."

I hope that one day someone special has my heart and wants to spend the rest of their life with me. But I want them to really know who I am. Inside and out and all around. I'm not a showy person, I'm not into social media, and I don't want a 20-carat ring. There's nothing wrong with any of those things, but it's never been for me. It's just not me.

I'm never going to do anything because someone else or the general society thinks or says I should do it. I like to defy society and do what's best for me. Even if I do something that is acceptable by society's standards, I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for me. I always say, "If someone wants to get to know me then they shouldn't judge what they see, read, or hear, they should just say, 'Hi,' and we can go from there." I don't post something for others to see, I post it for myself. Because it makes me feel good. Because I impulsively want to.

So, I want my fiancé's initial feeling of complete and absolute love to be blurted out to me ASAP. You don't have to keep your passions hidden while you plan a huge fiasco with balloons and confetti and "Will you marry me?" clouds in the sky. I don't need that for you to tell me you love me.

My dream proposal would be us cooking and taste tasting dinner, dancing, and singing to our favorite song when you just pause to look at me and ask, "You wanna get married?"

Of course, I'd question if you're being serious or not, but if we've already discussed the future and our hearts are in the right place, I'd melt in your arms.

You're not proposing to me to show off our love to your Facebook friends. You're proposing to me because you want nothing else but me. If you want to plan something special afterward, go ahead. Thoughtful surprises make me feel so special, but make sure that it's planned for me.

My long-distance boyfriend recently surprised me with a visit by calling my parents to figure out just how to leave me open-mouthed. I realized how much I appreciated the planning and arrangement. No one has ever done that for me before and I won't lie, I loved it. I wouldn't mind a fun proposal. I would be eternally grateful for the thought behind it, but I want the initial question to be intimate, personal, and tailored for me.

At the end of the day, sure, the proposal can be out and about in public, but I want the focus to be us. Not just me or you, but our relationship and our future. I don't care if other people don't think you love me enough because the proposal wasn't a showstopper. I know how you feel about me and that's all that matters.

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16 Wedding Gifts Under $50 That'll Have Any Wedding Guest Say 'I Do'

Because being on a budget doesn't mean you have to arrive at a wedding empty-handed.

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If you're on a budget but have a wedding to go to, it can be hard to find an affordable wedding gift you can buy for the bride and groom. You don't want to show up empty-handed, but you also don't want to spend an arm and a leg on a gift when there are plenty of other people attending who are better off affording certain items. (A good rule of thumb? Always try to "pay for your plate" — or the cost of what the bride and groom likely paid for you to be there.)

Most of the time, there are lots of things you can find on a registry under $50. Whether it be towels, a waffle maker or oven mitts, you can usually find SOMETHING in your price range. If not, this list is for you.

Brides-to-be: Here is a list of things to add to your wedding registry for your broke AF friends.

Broke friends: Here is a list of things to get if everything on your friend's list is way out of your price range.

1. Personalized cutting board

Personalized Cutting Board, 12 Designs & 3 Sizes, Bamboo Cutting Board, Wedding Gifts for Couple, Housewarming Gift & Kitchen Sign - Butcher Block Inlay Board #G

2. Cookbook

The Complete Cooking for Two Cookbook, Gift Edition: 650 Recipes for Everything You'll Ever Want to Make

3. Meat and cheese board

Bamboo Cheese Board and Knife Set - Charcuterie Board Set for Cheese Platter. Wood Serving Tray For Wine, Meat, Appetizers, Snacks - Entertaining Kitchenware Gift Ideas for Wedding and Housewarming

4. Handheld vacuum

Handheld Vacuum Cordless, HUNLEE 5KPA Powerful Suction Hand Vacuum Cordless Cleaner Rechargeable Hand Vac with 2.5h Quick Charge, Lightweight Hand Held Vacuum Cordless for Home and Car Cleaning

5. Carry on

COOLIFE Luggage Expandable(only 28") Suitcase PC+ABS Spinner 20in 24in 28in Carry on (White Grid New, S(20in)_Carry on)

6. Blender

NutriBullet NBR-1201 12-Piece High-Speed Blender/Mixer System, Gray (600 Watts)

7. Crock-Pot

Crock-Pot SCCPVL610-S-A 6-Quart Cook & Carry Programmable Slow Cooker with Digital Timer Stainless Steel

8. Bathroom towels

Luxury Hotel & Spa Bath Towel 100% Genuine Turkish Cotton, 27" x 54", Set of 4, White

9. Waffle maker

Cuisinart WAF-F10 Belgian Waffle Maker, Stainless Steel

10. Tools

DEKOPRO 128 Piece Tool Set-General Household Hand Tool Kit, Auto Repair Tool Set, with Plastic Toolbox Storage Case

11. Kitchen tools

Stainless Steel Kitchen Utensil Set - 29 Cooking Utensils - Nonstick Kitchen Utensils Cookware Set with Spatula - Best Kitchen Gadgets Kitchen Tool Set Gift by HomeHero

12. Baking dishes

Staub Ceramic 2-pc Rectangular Baking Dish Set - Rustic Red

13. Kitchen Towels

The Weaver's Blend Set of 3 Kitchen Towels + 3 Dish Cloths, Basket Weave, 100% Cotton, Absorbent, Size 28"x18" and 12'x12", Yellow Stripe, Kitchen Towels and Dish Cloths

14. Cute AF oven mitts

RED LMLDETA Oven Mitts Set of 2 with Transparent Clear Silicone Shell and Nice Dog Printing Cotton Lining, Heat Resistant to 500 F Kitchen Oven Gloves Pot Holder for Cooking (Blue)

15. Kitchen knife

J.A. Henckels International CLASSIC 8" Chef's Knife

16. Pizza cutter

16" Pizza Cutter by Kitchenstar | Sharp Stainless Steel Slicer Knife - Rocker Style w Blade Cover | Chop and Slices Perfect Portions + Dishwasher Safe - Premium Pizza Accessories

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