18 Phrases People In Interracial Relationships Are Sick Of Hearing

18 Phrases People In Interracial Relationships Are Sick Of Hearing

After talking to others and pulling from my own experiences, I've compiled a list.

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After a friend finished telling me her experiences in an interracial and intercultural relationship, I decided to compile a list of things people have heard while in these relationships that we don't want to hear. They are over said and often said without people realizing their impact, but some people do realize their impact and do intend the impact.

Here's what you shouldn't say to someone in an interracial relationship:

1. "Why weren't *insert your race* guys/girls good enough for you?"

We didn't find a race that was good enough for us. We found a person that was good enough for us. Finding a person of a different race does not disregard other people from our own race.

2. "You should find guys/girls who are *insert your race*."

You should find someone else to talk to.

3. "Your babies are going to be so beautiful."

Of course they will, I'm their mother!

4. "I'll babysit anytime for you."

No, you won't if you're associating the beauty of my kids with mixed race. What is this comment even really supposed to mean?

5. "Do you have jungle fever?"

Black people are not animals.

6. "You must have yellow fever."

Can we not date Asians without it being a fever? What's up with this fever thing anyways?

7. Any food related jokes about skin color.

Don't say "of course" when I tell you that chocolate is my favorite candy.

8. "What do you see in him/her?"

Obviously, a lot if we are together. Is our partner's race supposed to make them less worthy of having a partner? Why is it questionable that we see something in them?

9. "Other people won't want to date you if they find out you've dated that race."

Good, I wouldn't want to date that person either if they are so prejudiced against a group that they'd deem me to not be dating material based off the race of a past partner. It's mutual! We wouldn't get along anyways.

10. "People might not like that you're dating him/her."

Do we look like we care? Once again, we wouldn't want to be friends with those people anyways. Why are you expecting us to seek approval of prejudiced people? We don't need it.

11. "Is it big/small?"

Why are you asking this? That's weird?

12. "Are his/her lips even the right size to kiss?"

Wouldn't all lips be kissable? This is also very weird.

13. "Is he/she crazy behind closed doors?"

STOP SEXUALIZING RACES.

None. Of. Them. Should. Be. Sexualized.

14. "It's just a joke!"

Clearly, if we feel offended we did not take that as a joke. If you actually cared about us, you would listen to us and care more about our feelings than your desire to continue making a joke.

15. "You couldn't find a *insert name associated with your race* so you found yourself a *insert name from partner's race*."

Tyrone, Ling Ling, Muhammad, whatever name you're about to say, don't because our partner has their own name.

16. Any ISIS jokes.

Absolutely not. That is completely inappropriate.

17. "White girls will do anything."

If you are not her, you don't know her values and desires better than she does.

18. "Get yourself a real woman, a black woman."

Aren't all women real women? I thought we were fighting for the equality of races, not digressing back to viewing certain races as not real.

If it's in this list, chances are you should most likely cut yourself off before the phrase leaves your mouth. These could be offensive, weird, and repetitive. Remember to think before you speak, consider any history behind the "joke" you're about to make, and if you're unsure, just don't say it.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

11 Things The Man You Love Should Do For You, No Questions Asked

Sometimes it's just the simple things in life that mean a lot.

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Every girl feels special when the guy she's dating does simple things for her that not everyone thinks about. Here's a list of 10 things that every girl genuinely appreciates.

1. Open/Hold the door

I feel like this one is really simple because everyone has to walk through doors. Chivalry isn't dead, let him open the door for you. He's not trying to prove that you can't do it for yourself, but he's trying to be polite and show you that he cares for you.

2. Give you really big hugs

Everyone has bad days, and sometimes you just need a really big hug. Whether it be a bear hug or the hug where he picks you up and spins you around, it will make you feel better in the long run.

3. Buy you really small gifts

One of the best things my boyfriend has ever done for me is simply bringing me a Dr. Pepper when he knows I'm tired from a long hard day full of exams or work. Sonic slushes will also make my day in a heartbeat.

4. Text/Call you just to tell you he loves you

This is pretty simple. It takes less than 10 seconds to text, and only a few minutes to call. Sometimes you get these texts right at the perfect moment, and it makes you feel so much better.

5. Come see you when you're sick

Everyone hates being sick. But seeing your friends and family while you're sick can make you feel so much better. Having your boyfriend come to see you and possibly even take care of you just makes being sick that much easier.

6. Respect your decisions

You're not married yet, so your decisions are up to you! He should respect the decisions you make and support you, even if it's not what he thinks is the best decision. After all, you know yourself better than anyone else!

7. Give you a shoulder to cry on

We all have bad days, and sometimes you just can't stop the tears from coming. Even if he's not good with crying, he should give you hugs and love to help you get through it.

8. Compliment you

Even if you look horrible and know so, hopefully, he'll still tell you that you look good. Even if the clothes you're wearing aren't his style, he should still tell you that they look good on you and that you are beautiful each and every day.

9. Call you when you're away or he's away

If you're like me, I miss my boyfriend after being away for about three hours, so when we're apart for more than a couple days, I love getting random calls from him when he knows I'm not busy. It's definitely better than a text.

10. Deal with all your annoying quirks

So if you're anything like me, you enjoy screaming music as loudly and horribly as you can in the car and making a complete fool of yourself, but he should love you for that anyway. I also love to take really stupid pictures, and he should put up with that too. He shouldn't be annoyed by your quirks, he should love them and laugh along with you.

11. Love you no matter what

I honestly feel like this goes without saying, but I put it on here so that the girls who don't feel like they're being loved no matter what can realize. He should want to work out problems with you instead of calling it quits and holding a grudge. He should want you to be happy and support you in every decision you make in life. When he loves you unconditionally, he will do all of the above things and more.

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If You View Being In A Relationship As 'Losing Your Freedom,' You’re In The Wrong Relationship

Someone had to say it.

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Relationships are about being the best possible version of yourself separate and together. They're about growing with and doing life alongside your partner. They're fun, loving, and granted, they can sometimes be challenging.

Some challenges that frequently come up in relationships are disagreements (which are for sure gonna happen, because you're two individual people!), dealing with stress, and depending on where you're at in life, it could also be financial struggles. Of course, all relationships are going to have problems and everything won't always be “rainbows and butterflies" as Maroon 5 like to put it.

That being said though, one challenge that shouldn't ever be an issue in a relationship is the loss of freedom. Where did this idea come from?

I see it all the time, people talking about not wanting to get into a relationship because they don't want to "lose their freedom".

If you are in a relationship which causes you to lose your freedom, you are 100% in the wrong relationship.

Being in a relationship is not synonymous with not being able to be yourself or be able to do what you want. In a good relationship, you will be able to still have your alone time, be your own person, hang out with your friends, the list goes on and on. All of these things are so important. Relationships should never consume your life, they should complement it.

Why is this even a conversation we need to be having? Seriously.

Now obviously if you're referring to losing the option of getting with other people or dating around, then yes, you're right, you absolutely shouldn't get into a relationship... but that doesn't mean relationships mean losing your freedom.

If you are in a relationship with someone you love and respect, getting with other people isn't even going to be on your radar. It truly is that simple.

The trend of hating on relationships, for this reason, has gotten so out of hand in recent years, especially on social media. It's so frustrating, though, because it could not be any more inaccurate.

You should absolutely still have freedom in relationships. You can have it. I for one absolutely have it and do not view my relationship as the loss of freedom, at all. If you don't, maybe evaluate that relationship and realize it's not the best one to be in.

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