Let’s talk about marriage.

Yes, I said that loved (and feared) eight letter word. It’s a huge commitment, expensive as hell, and it seems like everyone in their early twenties are doing it.

I myself, am recently married. To be honest, it is nothing like I expected. I thought we were going to be like all the newlywed couples you see in cute Instagram—boy was I wrong.

“We already live together, so nothing is going to change.” This is the most common lie I hear engaged couples tell themselves. Regardless of if you have lived together two weeks or two years, your relationship is going to change. Once a couple is married, an unexpected expectation is born. There are new expectations of behavior, presentation, and responsibility. The relationship that was once natural and effortless, turns into a fulltime job on top of your actual fulltime job.

What changes?

1. You are now fully, 110% responsible for that other person and you represent that person.

That in itself is pretty scary.

2. Think about your significant other. They are pretty amazing, right? Now, think about that one thing that they do that drives you crazy…. and amplify it by 100.

If it drives you crazy now, trust me, it gets worse.

3. You lose your freedom.

This is something I personally have struggled with. You can't just quit your job when you're unhappy anymore, you can’t make those big "impulse buys," you have someone you have to check in with first (remember, what's mine is yours!).

Don't get me wrong, guys, you can go out and blow $600 on a gun without telling your wife, but you might not live long enough to shoot it.

4. Speaking of big purchases, let’s talk about money.

Whether you keep separate accounts or get join accounts, someone is responsible for making sure the water bill gets paid. Learning to co-manage your finances is huge, but learning to control your spending is bigger.

5. You address each other differently.

This is something that starts the moment you are introduced as husband and wife for the first time. You don't have a boyfriend anymore, you have a husband. You are introduced as MRS. ________(fill in the blank). You lose a bit of who you once were... you are no longer known as your father's daughter, but you are known as _______’s WIFE.

The first year is the hardest, or so every marriage ‘expert’ has told me. Never fear, here are my top five newlywed tips to keep your new marriage happy, and full of fireworks.

For the guys:

1. Put the toilet seat down, pick up your shoes, and pick up after yourself.

There is nothing more annoying than coming home after a long day at work/school, and having to clean up the trail you have left behind.

2. Take care of the "guy" stuff.

Take the trash out, keep the car(s) running properly, help with the finances, and walk the damn dog. These are just a few things that will make your new wife’s day. Do it without being asked, and you will blow her mind.

3. When we say "it’s the little things," we mean it.

Watching a show she likes, over the newest episode of SEAL TEAM, grabbing her favorite pop at the gas station because you were thinking of her—these are the little tidbits of reassurance that your woman needs!

For the girls:

1. Reassurance.

Despite what "tough guy" act guys put on, they have just as many insecurities as we do.

2. Serve your husband.

Yes, I am aware that it is 2017 and this is super old-fashioned... but hear me out. Acts of service are a little way to bless your husband each day and show you care. Now that your married, just saying "I love you" and going about with your day isn't enough.

Make his lunch, surprise him with his favorite dinner, match his socks (even though you hate it). Doing little acts of kindness will bless your relationship more than you can imagine.

3. GIVE HIM THE COOKIE.

I get it, no one has the energy to have sex every night, but this intimacy is something you and your husband both need. Lack of sex is one of the top reasons men (and women) wander.

“You have your husband, but now you have to keep him," wise words from my mom.

For both of you:

1. ENCOURAGE, LOVE, and SUPPORT... no matter what.

You are each other's number one fans and lead cheerleaders- act like it.

2. Do not give anyone an opportunity to come between you and your spouse.

3. Never stop dating.

Keep going on your date nights, keep flirting, keep the spark alive. Afterall, your relationship is what you make it.