Here's the Only Time It's Okay to Out an LGBTQ+ Person

Here's the Only Time It's Okay to Out an LGBTQ+ Person

You can only reveal an LGBTQ+ person's identity if...

220
views

If you have a friend who identifies as a member of the LGBTQ+ community and you have wondered whether it would be okay to share their identity or out them to someone, here's the only time it would be okay...

Never.

You read that right. It is never acceptable to reveal another person's sexual orientation or gender identity. You can make a mountain of excuses, but none of them will take away from the fact that you have violated this individual's right to comfort and privacy.

No, "everyone" does not already know that person is queer/non-cisgender.

You may claim that you assumed this person's identity was common knowledge...but you know what they say about being so quick to assume. The so-called closet only exists because there are still intolerant members of society. There are still people out there—religious or close-minded or just plain ignorant—who take every opportunity to express their hatred for and disgust with the LGBTQ+ community.

And yes, your friend might be out and proud in their liberal college town, but they are still closeted when they go home to their conservative friends and family. The point is, know that not everyone in the free world is aware of someone's queerness or their gender—and there might be a reason they don't know.

Outing people can seriously put them in danger.

While they might not be killed or tortured in the town square for their identity, this person could lose financial and emotional connections that are critical to their survival. Parents who don't condone LGBTQ+ identities, for example, may tell their child that they're no longer going to help them with their college tuition payments. They might even completely ostracize them from the family and forbid them from ever going to any future gatherings. Aside from that, this person might have their fellow churchgoers turn against them and prevent them from enjoying their religion the same way. Thanks to your careless reveal of this person's identity, influential people that once brightened this individual's life will now be motivated to destroy it.

Coming out is relatable to a lot of people, but it still is personal.

"Coming out shouldn't be a big deal anymore." And you're right about that, but you're wrong if you think the best way to promote positive change is to bust down the closet doors yourself. Whatever the reason, this person has chosen to stay hidden for now, and you need to respect their wishes as an individual and keep their "secret" to yourself. Because it is their identity and their life at stake in the aftermath of exposing it, this person's decision to come out or not come out is entirely their own.

You could ruin this person's relationship. 

If your closeted friend is secretly dating someone of the same sex, don't take it upon yourself to shed light on their private lives. Outing them will not only expose their individual identities, but it will also publicize their romantic and sexual relationship. Their partner might not mind, but they also could be so distraught over being outed that they break up with their S.O. to dismiss the allegations altogether. Then you've gone and ruined that person's relationship with themselves, their world, AND their lover all in one shot. Way to go, home-wrecker!

If one of your friends is LGBTQ+, you should care enough about their safety, well-being, and happiness to guard their secret with your life. As long as they don't want to be known about, they are entitled to stay comfortably in the closet. You do not have any say over whether or not their identity is shared with the world at a particular time. It might be tempting to tell someone, but before you do, remember this: how would YOU like it if they scattered around pieces of your intimate life for everyone to see?

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I'm A Christian Girl Who Lost Her Virginity In A Frat House With A Lil Dicky Song On Repeat, And No I'm Not Any Less Blessed

If you're not a virgin you are not a paper plate, you are not a used piece of tape and despite what those sorry illustrations exemplify, you are not worthless.

22
views

12-years-old. That's how old I was when I was told that if I were to have sex before marriage that my wedding night wouldn't be special.

I was given sorry illustrations about being "fine China" and that I would be comparable to a paper plate if I had sex before marriage. I was also compared to tape. With each premarital act, I would become a dirty piece of tape with no value—unable to stick or "connect" with the husband God meant for me.

I went through my church's version of "True Love Waits." Yes, I know the intentions were good, but what stuck with me like a very unused piece of tape was that my worth was in my virginity. I still have letters I wrote to my future husband 11 years ago, pledging to save myself for him on our wedding night. I wore a purity ring to signify that promise and it served as a reminder every day that I wouldn't fall into the temptations of premarital sex.

I am now 23 and *surprise*—not a virgin. I lost my virginity in a frat house with a Lil Dicky song on repeat.

I was in and out of consciousness and this guy wasn't taking no for an answer. I was just too drunk to "stop it" like I wanted to. I still feel pretty worthless when I think about that night—and for good reason.

After that happened, despite the fact that it was just an unfortunate situation all around, I felt like I had nothing to give.

I saw myself as a used paper plate and a dirty piece of tape.

I had let down God, myself, my family, my church and my future husband. My wedding night wasn't going to be special anymore because I had nothing to give. So I just thought, what's the point?

Thankfully now, I know that I was completely and utterly wrong. Two years later and I have reestablished my self-worth and don't buy into the lies I was told as a prepubescent teen.

A person's worth is not in their virginity.

Whether you lose your virginity with someone you love, with a one-night stand or are taken advantage of, you still have your entire self to give to your future spouse. Those scare tactics and illustrations do nothing more than misconstrue where a person's purity truly lies.

I am not saying to not teach about waiting until marriage. I believe the Bible and God calling Christians to wait until marriage. I am saying that, as Christians, we should change the way we teach this value.

Yes, by all means, encourage teens and young adults to wait until marriage. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But as Christians, we should also teach that no matter what—you are loved. You are loved whether you sleep with nobody or everyone. You are valuable. You will always be valuable and no one and no experience can take that from you.

As a Christian, you will always be pure, valued and whole so long as God is in your heart.

I agree that God calls Christians to wait, but:

I will never agree that a person's wedding night won't be special if they don't wait.

I will never agree that a person can't fully give themselves to their husband or wife if they've had premarital sex.

I will never agree that a person is comparable to a paper plate or dirty piece of tape (why this is even a popular illustration I don't know).

If you are a Christian and you've lost your virginity you still are worthy. You are still pure. You still have your entire self to give your husband or wife. Your wedding night will be special. You will be able to connect strongly with your spouse no matter who you've slept with. Why? Because Jesus died on the FREAKING CROSS. He died for our sins, and that's not exclusive to premarital sex.

Your value and identity is in Christ—not something as overrated as your virginity.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

31 One-Liners You Say To Your Boyfriend Before, After And During The Sunday Scaries Hit

Sunday scaries are much more intense that we like to believe.

127
views

Ah Friday. The blessed day of the week that kicks off the wonderful weekend. You have it planned where you are going to tackle everything on your to do list. You're going to clean, you're going to do laundry and even have a special date night with your boo. Maybe even grab a couple drinks with some friends. No matter what, you are not letting the weekend go to waste. Then, before you know it,

Sunday hits.

It's as if the second you went to bed Friday night (or Saturday morning, I won't judge) it immediately skips over Saturday and you are left with one single day to get everything done. The Sunday scaries are real and if you feel the stress that comes with them, you've probably said these one-liners to your boyfriend at some point during the weekend.

Before

1. "Sunday scaries are a joke!"

2. You think just because it's 2 a.m. Sunday morning that we can't have another drink?"



3. "Babe, the laundry will get done, we have all weekend!"

4. "Let's go out with our friends tonight! We have plenty of time to clean the kitchen."

5. "What do you mean we should go home? It's not even midnight!"

6. "But, what if I never get a chance to sing "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" at a karaoke bar again!?"



7. "Oh don't worry, I'm not going to let the Sunday scaries stress me out!"

8. "I won't have a hangover tomorrow!"



9. "I'm a perfectly capable adult!"

During

10. "OMG, BABE WHAT DID I DO?"



11. "What do you mean I sang karaoke until 2 in the morning? I don't even like karaoke!"

12. "I had, HOW many drinks?"

13. "Babe, we NEED to get laundry done."

14. "Why is this house such a mess?"



15. "Why didn't you stop me?!"

16. "Please clean the bathroom, my head hurts too much."

17. "No, I do NOT have a hangover!"

18. "Baby, can we pleaseeee take a nap?" *Says while crying*



19. "I just wanted to have ONE *sobs* GOOD *sobs* NIGHT."

20. *blows nose in boyfriends shirt*"We have NO time to get anything done!"

21. "I'm never going out again!"



22. "I can't adult!"

After

23. "Well, I guess it wasn't THAT bad.."

24. "I mean, we made some progress, we have clean underwear!"



25. "I can see the floor, I think we did a lot today."

26. "You know what would be a great idea? Drinks."

27. "Can we order buffalo wings for dinner?"



28. "I still don't think I was that drunk."

29. "The Sunday scaries did NOT get me."

30. "We should do this again next weekend!"

31. "Adulting is easy!"


OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments