No, It's Not Unhealthy To Be Best Friends With Your Partner
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In a relationship or not, it seems like everybody has opinions on what the ideal image of love is. Now, of course, it makes sense for everybody to feel differently on what defines the picture perfect relationship or marriage. However, I quite honestly don't understand the argument against people in love being best friends.

If you read the recently published book "Text Me When You Get Home" by Kayleen Schaefer not only will you witness a beautiful celebration of female friendship, but you will also probably be ~almost~ convinced that lovers should not be best friends. In fact, Schaefer argues that this dynamic is simply not possible and should be avoided.

The center of her argument and many others revolve around the idea that this friendship is not quite natural and is taking the place of a better option. For example, in her view, your husband could never and will never be your best girlfriend. That's just the way it is. In fact, Schaefer dubs this need for a best friend and boyfriend/girlfriend as an American obsession that doesn't make too much sense to the rest of the world. Although I see her argument, I truly disagree.

Trust me, I appreciate, foster, and cherish the female friendships in my life (even more so now than I ever did before). I know the power of a good girl's night, the feeling of belly laughs with your girlfriends and the relief that comes from having the support of other strong women. I have women best friends and have had many throughout my life.

But there is so much beauty and power in your significant other being your best friend. Take all of those feelings and experiences you share with your best girlfriends and combine that with the love you share with your romantic partner and you would be unstoppable.

I think that if you are best friends with your significant other, you will never experience the loneliness or struggle some marriages do. If you can take on the battles of life while being silly with your best friend, what could be better?

In today's culture, we shame young people who are too in love, while celebrating elderly couples who were best friends and inseparable from the start of their relationship decades ago. I think that recognizing that it is not only okay but beautiful for significant others to be best friends is the first step towards loving the love that many partners share.

I know it seems risky to "put all your eggs in one basket" with both your love and friendship designated to one person. But isn't that what makes it so worth it?

Which brings me to my last point... A lot of people think that finding a best friend in the one you love shuts out all other friends. It seems to me that truly thinking you can only have one best friend is something we should have let go of back in elementary school. Yes, you can and should have other lifelines and best friends in your life. However, what good is your relationship if you don't have that same type of respect, love, and bond as friends?

Being best friends with your significant other is not dangerous, selfish, or unhealthy. I think it is the most beautiful, genuine kind of love there is.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin

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Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.

xoxo,

The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

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Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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