No, It's Not Unhealthy To Be Best Friends With Your Partner

In a relationship or not, it seems like everybody has opinions on what the ideal image of love is. Now, of course, it makes sense for everybody to feel differently on what defines the picture perfect relationship or marriage. However, I quite honestly don't understand the argument against people in love being best friends.

If you read the recently published book "Text Me When You Get Home" by Kayleen Schaefer not only will you witness a beautiful celebration of female friendship, but you will also probably be ~almost~ convinced that lovers should not be best friends. In fact, Schaefer argues that this dynamic is simply not possible and should be avoided.

The center of her argument and many others revolve around the idea that this friendship is not quite natural and is taking the place of a better option. For example, in her view, your husband could never and will never be your best girlfriend. That's just the way it is. In fact, Schaefer dubs this need for a best friend and boyfriend/girlfriend as an American obsession that doesn't make too much sense to the rest of the world. Although I see her argument, I truly disagree.

Trust me, I appreciate, foster, and cherish the female friendships in my life (even more so now than I ever did before). I know the power of a good girl's night, the feeling of belly laughs with your girlfriends and the relief that comes from having the support of other strong women. I have women best friends and have had many throughout my life.

But there is so much beauty and power in your significant other being your best friend. Take all of those feelings and experiences you share with your best girlfriends and combine that with the love you share with your romantic partner and you would be unstoppable.

I think that if you are best friends with your significant other, you will never experience the loneliness or struggle some marriages do. If you can take on the battles of life while being silly with your best friend, what could be better?

In today's culture, we shame young people who are too in love, while celebrating elderly couples who were best friends and inseparable from the start of their relationship decades ago. I think that recognizing that it is not only okay but beautiful for significant others to be best friends is the first step towards loving the love that many partners share.

I know it seems risky to "put all your eggs in one basket" with both your love and friendship designated to one person. But isn't that what makes it so worth it?

Which brings me to my last point... A lot of people think that finding a best friend in the one you love shuts out all other friends. It seems to me that truly thinking you can only have one best friend is something we should have let go of back in elementary school. Yes, you can and should have other lifelines and best friends in your life. However, what good is your relationship if you don't have that same type of respect, love, and bond as friends?

Being best friends with your significant other is not dangerous, selfish, or unhealthy. I think it is the most beautiful, genuine kind of love there is.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

11 Things The Man You Love Should Do For You, No Questions Asked

Sometimes it's just the simple things in life that mean a lot.


Every girl feels special when the guy she's dating does simple things for her that not everyone thinks about. Here's a list of 10 things that every girl genuinely appreciates.

1. Open/Hold the door

I feel like this one is really simple because everyone has to walk through doors. Chivalry isn't dead, let him open the door for you. He's not trying to prove that you can't do it for yourself, but he's trying to be polite and show you that he cares for you.

2. Give you really big hugs

Everyone has bad days, and sometimes you just need a really big hug. Whether it be a bear hug or the hug where he picks you up and spins you around, it will make you feel better in the long run.

3. Buy you really small gifts

One of the best things my boyfriend has ever done for me is simply bringing me a Dr. Pepper when he knows I'm tired from a long hard day full of exams or work. Sonic slushes will also make my day in a heartbeat.

4. Text/Call you just to tell you he loves you

This is pretty simple. It takes less than 10 seconds to text, and only a few minutes to call. Sometimes you get these texts right at the perfect moment, and it makes you feel so much better.

5. Come see you when you're sick

Everyone hates being sick. But seeing your friends and family while you're sick can make you feel so much better. Having your boyfriend come to see you and possibly even take care of you just makes being sick that much easier.

6. Respect your decisions

You're not married yet, so your decisions are up to you! He should respect the decisions you make and support you, even if it's not what he thinks is the best decision. After all, you know yourself better than anyone else!

7. Give you a shoulder to cry on

We all have bad days, and sometimes you just can't stop the tears from coming. Even if he's not good with crying, he should give you hugs and love to help you get through it.

8. Compliment you

Even if you look horrible and know so, hopefully, he'll still tell you that you look good. Even if the clothes you're wearing aren't his style, he should still tell you that they look good on you and that you are beautiful each and every day.

9. Call you when you're away or he's away

If you're like me, I miss my boyfriend after being away for about three hours, so when we're apart for more than a couple days, I love getting random calls from him when he knows I'm not busy. It's definitely better than a text.

10. Deal with all your annoying quirks

So if you're anything like me, you enjoy screaming music as loudly and horribly as you can in the car and making a complete fool of yourself, but he should love you for that anyway. I also love to take really stupid pictures, and he should put up with that too. He shouldn't be annoyed by your quirks, he should love them and laugh along with you.

11. Love you no matter what

I honestly feel like this goes without saying, but I put it on here so that the girls who don't feel like they're being loved no matter what can realize. He should want to work out problems with you instead of calling it quits and holding a grudge. He should want you to be happy and support you in every decision you make in life. When he loves you unconditionally, he will do all of the above things and more.

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If You View Being In A Relationship As 'Losing Your Freedom,' You’re In The Wrong Relationship

Someone had to say it.


Relationships are about being the best possible version of yourself separate and together. They're about growing with and doing life alongside your partner. They're fun, loving, and granted, they can sometimes be challenging.

Some challenges that frequently come up in relationships are disagreements (which are for sure gonna happen, because you're two individual people!), dealing with stress, and depending on where you're at in life, it could also be financial struggles. Of course, all relationships are going to have problems and everything won't always be “rainbows and butterflies" as Maroon 5 like to put it.

That being said though, one challenge that shouldn't ever be an issue in a relationship is the loss of freedom. Where did this idea come from?

I see it all the time, people talking about not wanting to get into a relationship because they don't want to "lose their freedom".

If you are in a relationship which causes you to lose your freedom, you are 100% in the wrong relationship.

Being in a relationship is not synonymous with not being able to be yourself or be able to do what you want. In a good relationship, you will be able to still have your alone time, be your own person, hang out with your friends, the list goes on and on. All of these things are so important. Relationships should never consume your life, they should complement it.

Why is this even a conversation we need to be having? Seriously.

Now obviously if you're referring to losing the option of getting with other people or dating around, then yes, you're right, you absolutely shouldn't get into a relationship... but that doesn't mean relationships mean losing your freedom.

If you are in a relationship with someone you love and respect, getting with other people isn't even going to be on your radar. It truly is that simple.

The trend of hating on relationships, for this reason, has gotten so out of hand in recent years, especially on social media. It's so frustrating, though, because it could not be any more inaccurate.

You should absolutely still have freedom in relationships. You can have it. I for one absolutely have it and do not view my relationship as the loss of freedom, at all. If you don't, maybe evaluate that relationship and realize it's not the best one to be in.

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