In a relationship or not, it seems like everybody has opinions on what the ideal image of love is. Now, of course, it makes sense for everybody to feel differently on what defines the picture perfect relationship or marriage. However, I quite honestly don't understand the argument against people in love being best friends.
If you read the recently published book "Text Me When You Get Home" by Kayleen Schaefer not only will you witness a beautiful celebration of female friendship, but you will also probably be ~almost~ convinced that lovers should not be best friends. In fact, Schaefer argues that this dynamic is simply not possible and should be avoided.
The center of her argument and many others revolve around the idea that this friendship is not quite natural and is taking the place of a better option. For example, in her view, your husband could never and will never be your best girlfriend. That's just the way it is. In fact, Schaefer dubs this need for a best friend and boyfriend/girlfriend as an American obsession that doesn't make too much sense to the rest of the world. Although I see her argument, I truly disagree.
Trust me, I appreciate, foster, and cherish the female friendships in my life (even more so now than I ever did before). I know the power of a good girl's night, the feeling of belly laughs with your girlfriends and the relief that comes from having the support of other strong women. I have women best friends and have had many throughout my life.
But there is so much beauty and power in your significant other being your best friend. Take all of those feelings and experiences you share with your best girlfriends and combine that with the love you share with your romantic partner and you would be unstoppable.
I think that if you are best friends with your significant other, you will never experience the loneliness or struggle some marriages do. If you can take on the battles of life while being silly with your best friend, what could be better?
In today's culture, we shame young people who are too in love, while celebrating elderly couples who were best friends and inseparable from the start of their relationship decades ago. I think that recognizing that it is not only okay but beautiful for significant others to be best friends is the first step towards loving the love that many partners share.
I know it seems risky to "put all your eggs in one basket" with both your love and friendship designated to one person. But isn't that what makes it so worth it?
Which brings me to my last point... A lot of people think that finding a best friend in the one you love shuts out all other friends. It seems to me that truly thinking you can only have one best friend is something we should have let go of back in elementary school. Yes, you can and should have other lifelines and best friends in your life. However, what good is your relationship if you don't have that same type of respect, love, and bond as friends?
Being best friends with your significant other is not dangerous, selfish, or unhealthy. I think it is the most beautiful, genuine kind of love there is.