I've Had My Heart Broken By A Man I Was Not In Love With
Start writing a post
Swoon

I've Had My Heart Broken By A Man I Was Not In Love With

"Not everyone gets to find a soulmate in a friend, but for a brief time, I'm lucky enough to say I did."

439
I've Had My Heart Broken By A Man I Was Not In Love With
https://az616578.vo.msecnd.net/files/2018/02/08/636537133505104442-205743662_Screen%20Shot%202018-02-08%20at%202.01.49%20PM.png

I'm sure the majority of us have had our hearts broken by someone we were not in love with. Saying it out loud sounds kind of funny because the typical "heartbreak" doesn't usually include a person you're not head over heels in love with. My story does, and what I've learned about this unspoken, odd kind of heartbreak, is that it hurts just as much as the other kind, if not tremendously more.

The man who broke my heart was my very best friend. Even saying that sentence out loud makes me angry. I almost don't feel he deserves the title-or ever did. You don't get to be there for someone at every important, gut-wrenching, wonderful, awful stage of their life and one day decide to never be apart of it again. I can't imagine doing it to anyone I ever truly cared for.

And I know he truly cared for me.

It has been two years since this man broke my heart. In that time frame, I got a new job, a promotion at work, I had blogs I wrote go viral, I've had loved ones pass and new members to the family, added...so much of my life has happened in these two years and yet one of the most important people to me, will never know.

He won't know the day I graduate college and receive my degree. No, he won't even be there.

He won't get to meet my children one day, or talk with me about our favorite show (our show).

He won't get to watch me meet the goal I've been striving for.

Hell, he didn't even know the goal I was striving for.

This is what happens when your best friend breaks your heart.

I was not in love with this man like I am my boyfriend. Yes, this is a thing. You can form a connection with someone of the opposite sex, and not feel the urge to jump into bed with them or want more. I know first hand that this is possible, and once you find a connection like this, losing it is even worse than wondering if it was at all possible.

You can imagine what happened that caused our relationship to fail. My boyfriend trusted us, but his girlfriend didn't. The insecurities and dangerous thoughts managed to destroy a relationship so special to me, and there's not a damn thing I could possibly do about it. Nothing would save it no matter how hard I tried.

All relationships are two-sided. I couldn't possibly put in the work for us both because eventually one of us would fall short. We reached a point for the both of us where it hurt more to hold on than it did to let go. Each day that goes by, I start to remember less and less of what we had. Part of me is grateful for that, but the other part of me hurts something fierce. I look through old pictures of us, and stare at this man who I can see so clearly cares for me. He's someone who had my very best intentions in mind, and not a day goes by where I don't want to tell him I'm doing okay because even if him and his girlfriend don't want to admit it-I know he still wonders.

So does a heartbreak ever really mend when it comes to a friendship? I guess it is similar to a relationship because I believe-and always have-that if the feelings are real, then you don't ever get over someone you loved. You can find a new person to patch your heart, but at the end of the day their will always be scars left from the person who put them there.

In my honest opinion, I don't think my heart will ever be how it was before I met this man. I've learned to accept that, and in this odd, surreal sort of way, I've even learned to be grateful for it. I know now that a relationship with a man and a woman doesn't have to be sexual, but it can be pure, honest, good, and kind. I'm stuck between feeling sorry for myself that this amazing ride was cut short, to being in awe that it actually got to happen for me. Not everyone gets to find a soulmate in a friend, but for a brief time, I'm lucky enough to say I did.

To the man who broke my heart, my friend..

I forgive you. I know you, and I know your good heart. I'm sure deciding to end our friendship wasn't easy for you. I spent so long going over every reason why I should be mad at you, when I never got to tell you how sorry I was for the part of the friendship that you lost as well.

In case anyone didn't get to tell you today, like I always use to,

You are awesome.

You are loved.

You're going to do great things.

And you will always have a friend in me.

Report this Content
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

12287
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

943481
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

120969
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments