Growing up we see love in a multitude of ways.

Platonic love between friends, familial love you are brought into, and romantic love. If you’re anything like me, you cannot help but just love to love. It brings so much joy to my heart and I have a tendency to be a hopeless romantic. The flowers, the gestures; the passion and heart that goes into those picture-perfect relationships capture my heart like no other.

I can shamelessly quote The Notebook, have most of Taylor Swift’s songs memorized, and I’d be lying if I said I did not already have my wedding planned on a Pinterest board.

That being said, there is so much more to love than these things.

As I grow older I have only realized that love is hard. Sometimes people can be hard to love, you can be put in situations that test your own limits and those of the people you love, and life is far from being that perfect storybook happy ending we hear so often about as children. While you may think that makes me less of a romantic, it has actually had the opposite impact on me.

I have been blessed with parents who have a beautiful, twenty-year marriage, and the sweetest love story I have ever heard (I may be biased, though). Because of them, I have developed views of love that do not fit my typically Nicholas Sparks-hopeless romantic-side.

Through ten different moves, two countries, six states, three kids (and losing a child), and years of second and third shift and long distance, they have survived. Not only have they survived, but they have the strongest marriage I have ever had the blessing of knowing. In their relationship, I have seen struggle, but that is always outweighed by love and dedication to honoring the choice they made to love and cherish one another.

Just for a little back story, my parents went to highschool together. They dated when they were young teenagers, and split less than amicably. Once my dad’s bruised ego healed, they went back to being best friends, graduated high school, and went off to different colleges across Michigan from one another. They dated other people, and my dad even claimed he wasn’t the “marrying type” until just a few short months after my mom and he reconnected, and sure enough he proposed and they were married less than a year after.

Adorable, right? Biased opinions aside, they emulate love. As hard as life gets, they still love each other. Love is not a feeling in their marriage, it is beyond that. The dedication and choices they make every day to remind each other of their vows is amazing. It does not have to be large gestures or flowers sent from across the country when they can’t be together (Although, my dad has a tendency to rack up quite the tab with florists trying to impress my mom, even 20+ years later).

The point is, love is not about instant gratification. It is not about YOU. When you choose to love someone and commit to them, it will not be an easy road. Just like my parents, everyone will face unimaginable hardships and struggles. The key is to work together and make your relationship stronger, not letting it crumble to pieces. Everything I have learned about love comes from my parents, and I hope someday to emulate this same love and mutual respect for my own children.