Here’s How It Feels To Leave A Relationship That You Both Still Want

Here’s How It Feels To Leave A Relationship That You Both Still Want

Sometimes your lives just don't match up and you have to walk away.


In the dating world, there seem to exist three types of people. Those who exclusively seek long-term, serious relationships, those who seek a string of hookups or friends with benefits, and then there exists a third, murkier category.

And what is that category you ask? Well, it's the in-betweeners.

These are the people that might skew toward favoring relationships, monogamy and exclusivity. However, they aren't necessarily looking for the type of long-term, serious relationship that the first group is.

And why is that?

Well, some of us within the population have a certain directive for ourselves that requires our utmost focus and attention. Maybe we're at a place in our lives where we might want someone special to spend our time with, but our individual lifestyles factors aren't conducive to a long-term, serious relationship.

Such life experiences might include college, graduate school, a high-demanding career or travel. Certain commitments that fall within these categories often require the majority of one's time and are apart of one's journey to the success they wish to achieve. Some people can't conceivably maintain the type of long-term relationship they envision for themselves while in the pursuit of their responsibilities.

Some people might also have just gotten over a traumatic situation or negative life experience that makes dating difficult for them, and they might wish to find someone to spend time with but don't know if they can put forth the effort necessary for a serious relationship.

Some people can handle the responsibilities of a long-term relationship while they're out grinding and chasing their dreams. But for some of us, our commitments we have in the pursuit of ourselves are not compatible with the type of serious relationship we envision having for ourselves. Some people might be okay with long-distance relationships or spending any conceivable free time they have with each other.

Others might not. Long-distance might not be appropriate for certain couples, or if they're a particularly busy individual, the limited free time they have might be reserved for their own personal health.

And maybe this could be the right person. But the intersection of one's individual lifestyle factors, the characteristics they seek from a relationship, their place in life and mental health all factor into the decision for why they may or may not choose to pursue someone they think is right for them.

Some people might argue with me that if the person in question is truly someone they could envision a long-term relationship with, they would make the time and make sacrifices to be with this person.

But realistically, is that always healthy?

Should you feel inclined to give up your personal pursuits for someone else? In the context of marriage it's one thing, but when it comes to premarital relationships, should you feel obligated to give up a large part of yourself for someone else, even if they do seem like the "right" type of person?

I don't think so.

A relationship is an agreement that two people enter. It's important to give your best energy into your relationships, but there can come the point when you can't give up too much of yourself in exchange for something else. If you do so, you might risk losing who you are as a person, or sacrifice a part of your life, whether personally or professionally, that you couldn't afford to lose.

So, if you're one of those people who fall under that murky category, you could find yourself in a casual, exclusive relationship with someone you truly enjoy and adore. In mature relationships, you'll discuss the constraints of your relationship and communicate what's appropriate for you two.

At some point, however, you two might find yourself parting ways as you work on your respective lives. If you're in one of those murky positions where you're in some sort of relationship with someone but have to separate, it might be difficult for you to walk away since you do envision this person as someone worth having a serious relationship.

For people in those types of situations, they understand who they are and the reality that they live in, where the timing in their lives is not such that enables them to be together.

For people who value the concept of timing when it comes to relationships, there is an understanding that love does not conquer all. Rather, personal accountability, self-reflection, and ambition come before the pursuit of someone else.

Maybe your life timing and focus isn't such to enable a serious relationship to happen with this person now. However, if you end on positive terms with that person and stay in touch, there could come a day where you feel the timing in your life is right.

You could feel that you are now capable of maintaining the type of serious relationship you seek to be in and that you can invest the necessary effort into the relationship without harming yourself.

If something is meant to be, I do indeed think that each person will make their way back to each other when the timing is right.

It's possible this isn't the right person and you simply enjoyed a relationship with a like-minded individual before having to part ways.

If you feel they have the potential to be your "right person" don't write them off because of the timing. You have the ability to determine how you treat the other person, and enabling the possibility for the reunion of your relationship could make you both incredibly happy somewhere down the road.

So, if you're leaving someone you love and care about to pursue your path, don't fret. Keep your mind and heart open. For all you know, you could work your way back to each other to build the strong, serious relationship you both want.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Soulful Luke Combs Lyrics To Get You Through That Bad Breakup

Breakups are tough, but Luke Combs is here to help.


Breakups are very hard to deal with, whether you ended the relationship or your significant other did. The clock on the wall will cure it all and so will Luke Combs, so here's 10 lyrics to do exactly that:

1. "But the clock on the wall will cure it all, even though that ain't how it seems"

2. "You wrecked my world when you came and hit me like a hurricane"

3. "Whoever said it ain't the end of the world and you'll find somebody new, must've never met you"

4. "I picked myself up off the floor and found something new worth living for"

5. "Don't know what you got 'till it's gone, and you're out on your own. All you want is what you can't get back"

6. "And I ain't gotta see my ex future mother-in-law anymore. Oh lord, when it rains it pours"

7. "I'm one number away from calling you. I said I was through, but I'm dying inside"

8. "The second I left, I was kicking myself cause I knew I should've stayed."

9. "I didn't know then, but I sure know now that long neck iced cold beer never broke my heart"

10. "There's a lot of things in this 'ole world I can stand, but when it comes to losing you I just can't"

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4 Reasons I Will NEVER Get Back Together With Any Of My Ex-Boyfriends

It's your loss babe, not mine.


For being so young I have gone through so much unfair and unnecessary pain because I tried to find love too quick. I have not had one relationship end on good terms and I wish I could say it was all their fault, but I cannot help but to believe there must be something I am doing wrong.

In this generation, people say "I love you" too fast and goodbye too soon. We millennials put all our passion in the beginning of things, forgetting there are greater ends to be discovered. My soul has beaten down, broken, and lost to multiple men that I believed had true intentions. Even though I have never had a good relationship, to be extremely honest, if I knew when I was younger who would break my heart I would never try to change it.

Somedays, like the day I am writing this on, I feel empty and lost because of the suffering that I have experienced and I feel as though I will never be good enough and never find complete happiness. On other days I rejoice because the men that have broken my heart have humbled me. I am loathsome and grateful for them and my experiences with them all at the same time.

Although there are saddening times and certain things that I miss about my exes I will never get back together with any of them for four reasons.

1. Immaturity.

I started dating when I was 13. My first real boyfriend, and what I thought at the time to be first my first real love, broke up with me through text on New Year's Eve. My 13-year-old self was devastated and thought my entire world was ending. Clearly, that is an experience I remember and tell because the kids in middle school and junior high really believe that they are with their forever person, but they have a huge awakening because immaturity does not go well with relationships.

2. Cheating.

Getting cheated on broke my entire image of myself and I couldn't find one good quality about myself because I truly believed that if there was one that he would not have done it. I was wrong, and I wish the day that I found out he had cheated on me that I would not have begged for him to stay with me. After choosing another girl over me I should have realized he is and never will be the truly good man I need and he does not deserve the woman I am.

3. We changed.

I'm not completely the same person I was three months again, let alone 2 years again, and honestly, neither is he. Growing apart is not a bad thing, it is something that just happens naturally. Years later, when we speak, I may not laugh at the same jokes anymore and I may not smile at the same things that I did when I was 16. We both have been with other people and have seen and done new things, there is nothing wrong with that. It is just simply moving on. As Sam Waterson said, "If you're not moving forward, you're falling back." I chose to move forward with my life over falling back into my toxic relationships and for that, I have changed into someone I love and someone they will never have again.

4. You let me down.

I have two expectations of men when it comes to dating, to be loyal and to be loving. A relationship is nothing without trust and giving the same energy back that you put in. That is completely what all my past relationships have lacked. My exes have let me down because they could not fill my expectations that should be what is in any normal, healthy relationship. In today's world, everyone has commitment issues and not many people know how to let themselves just fall. That is devastating for the people that do because they, like myself, get hurt and are made to feel it's their fault.

To everyone I've dated or talked to, thank you for breaking my heart and showing me that you are exactly what I do not need in my life.

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