Why You Have To Let Him Go

Why You Have To Let Him Go

Sometimes we need a push, maybe a shove, to really see what is in front of us. We hold on to relationships that ended a long time ago in hopes of rekindling what was once there, or simply hold onto memories you know may never happen again, and its time to let it go.
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For the boys who are so great for a solid two weeks then ignore you at the next party you are at together, for the recent ex who said he didn’t want a girlfriend for the summer, or the boy that seems to go in and out of your life. If you are not getting the love and respect you deserve, then it's time to let him go.

I know it is difficult and I know it sucks, but you have to realize your worth. If you do not realize your worth, how will anyone else?

While you continue to make yourself someone’s option, someone else could be making you their priority. You need to realize that waiting up late at night with your phone on loud hoping he will text you is not okay. I think we should all make a promise to never do that to ourselves again. If someone wants to talk to you, they will.

Point. Blank. Period.

You do not owe someone that much of your time, especially when you could be sleeping.

The time spent letting go is the hardest. But you can do it! Everyone does it, and everyone gets through it. And each time you come out even better than before. Focus on something new, and make that your priority. Whether it's training for a five kilometer run, saving for a big trip, or spending more time with your family -- invest your heart in something new or challenging.

This kid, whoever he was, taught you something.

He taught you that you can stay awake pretty late waiting for a single text and that you put others above yourself maybe a little too much. Most importantly, though, he taught you that when something isn’t giving back in the same way, it's time to let it go.

The sad truth in realizing it is time to let someone go is that it usually happens way later than it should.

Life is far too short to spend your time hung up on a single person. The moment you realize someone is not caring for you the way they should be, it's time to cut the cord.

This goes for all friendships and relationships. After letting go, you will see how you should be treated, your friends should be treated, and how you want to live your life. It is hard when you know someone cares about you, but if they do not care about you as much as you care about them, then it will never work.

If you have a pair of heels and you break one, you have to throw both of them away. The same goes for a relationship. If one side isn’t working as well as the other, the entire thing cannot work. You may try to fix the heel because you love it.

You’ve gone through good nights and bad nights together, but every step you take will feel more and more unstable –– and it is only weeks before that heel breaks off again. In your relationship, you may try to fix what is wrong, but it will never be perfectly fixed if the same amount of care and love is not there.

Throwing away a pair of heels is not easy, but the good news is there are many more out there that are even cuter and stronger.

So to the boy that texts you just when you have started to get over him, the one that lingers on your mind whenever you are out, and whose text messages you scroll way too far back late at night. You don’t have to hate him, forget him, or swear you will never see him again. You just have to choose you.

Who knows what the next pair of heels will bring?

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

As Much As You May Want To, You'll Never Get Over Your First Love

You never forget your first

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Your first love is just that: the first person you've ever truly loved (besides your family and friends). Maybe you've kissed a few people before, but with this person it's different. They mean something to you that no other person ever has before. Maybe you met this person when you were younger in high school or met them a little later in life as I did at the end of my first year of college. Meeting my first love transformed me, both for the good and the bad, and as much as I may want to, I'll never get over my first love and neither will you.

When we met, we didn't meet in some fantastical way, we met on Tinder right after a surprise breakup of mine. We had instant chemistry, and I didn't get to kiss him for weeks because I ended up getting mono right after the breakup (haha whoops). He was the first person I've ever kissed who I didn't want to stop kissing- ever. Yes, second semester freshman year me was super extra when it came to him, but being with him was so different than anyone else. Things progressed through the summer as we talked every single day, even though we never got to meet up because we were both busy, and at the beginning of my sophomore year, I lost my virginity to him. That was a big step for someone who thought she'd wait until she was married. He made sure I was fine and didn't push me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I'll treasure that forever.

He was someone I loved with all of my being, to the point where it was physically hurting me in the end because I knew what I felt wasn't going to ever be reciprocated the way I wanted it to be. That's when I had to end it, which was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To me, he was a boyfriend, but to him, I was a friend with benefits. I wanted something more and he wanted less, and I didn't want to accept that. I wasn't his first love but he was mine, which he doesn't know and probably never will. I have had moments where I thought I was over him, but then all the emotions flood right back. In hard moments of hurt is when I miss him the most, but also in moments of joy too. If I see a nice car I think of him, or of other little things, like a french bulldog or The Fast and The Furious.

Your first love leaves such a monumental effect on you as a person. They have seen parts of you others have not. You will always remember your firsts more than anything else, which is why your first love never leaves you. As roughly as things ended between he and I, he's always going to have a piece of me that no one else will ever have. The relationship we had wasn't what you'd expect from someone you call your first love, but his mark on me is what helped shape me into who I am today for better or for worse.

Don't let any negativity remain when it comes to your first love (if there is any). Let it go and remember the good. They will be a part of you forever, so you can never truly get over you.

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Why You Keep Falling In Love With People Who Don’t Love You Back In Your 20s

It's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

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Can love truly be both beautiful and heartbreaking?

It's a question I silently asked myself, sitting shotgun in a car next to someone I considered my friend.

A "friend" seemed to be the right label to define our relationship. To him, I was just a friend—who just happened to be a girl, a girl he texts regularly, jokes around, and can grab a drink with. And we loved each other as friends, because we both trusted each other, we had fun together and each had our own independent lives which would connect occasionally in a complete, non-questionable platonic way.

But slowly, for me, he was becoming everything I've ever wanted in a guy, standing right in front of me. But he wasn't mine to have.

And imagine being so close to someone you want except you can't have him because it might just ruin everything you've already shared together. Because what if you scare him away? What if he replies by telling you "No"?

That's the simple nature of falling in love with someone you can't be with.

In our early part of our lives—particularly in our 20s and during our college years, we all experience this type of heartbreak.

To name a few: A high school boyfriend who lives halfway across the country now. The hot guy you sit next to in lecture who already has a girlfriend. The casual hookup who you just can't manage to stop thinking about as you endlessly toss and turn at night. The platonic friend who doesn't quite see you as being something more.

We all at one point in our thoughts have imagined "coupling" or sharing a life with a guy who we can't seem to have for ourselves. We've always dreamt how things could actually work out if you actually shared your feelings with him except the closest we'll ever reach to it is in our dreams, not reality.

And to examine the logic behind why this happens, we have to first admit how we always want what we can't have.

Because it's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

So, it's not really this case of the whole Romeo and Juliet "star-crossed lovers" BS but rather, it's purely a one sided love which can most definitely be beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Beautiful because there's always a connection you feel which makes you all warm and bubbly inside but heartbreaking because you know this connection is merely flowing in a one way track.

So then, why do we tend to maintain our connections with these people who hurt us?

One reason is because you're afraid to lose him altogether. Perhaps you think he's going to go on full freak-out mode after you spill the beans to him. My piece of advice in this scenario would be to just suck it up and take the chance. Talk to him about how you feel because honestly, what's there to lose? Unless you're not reciting some sappy, over-the-top love story about how many kids you plan to have with him, you're fine.

But perhaps, the most common reason is because we assume he might eventually fall in love with us, too.

And if this pertains to you, gear up because I can write on for days about why this is a big no-no. Heck, I can probably teach a class or lecture to all of you about my elaborative theory of why you will definitely know whether a boy truly loves you or not. It's plain and simple—if he loves you, he'll make sure you know.

And you can't force someone to fall in love with you. Even if you pay them a million bucks, you can get them to pretend to love you or force them to be with you—but it's never going to be true love. Because true, unrequited love is effortless. It comes naturally. The fiery passion will be shared mutually and you won't ever have to question whether or not you belong with him.

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