Listen, There Is A Difference Between Talking To Women And Sexual Harassment

Listen, There Is A Difference Between Talking To Women And Sexual Harassment

Come on, guys, it’s time to stop complaining and to start listening.
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I don’t need to re-hash the names of all the high-profile men who are being accused of and suspended or fired from their jobs for sexual harassment. If you don’t know, you can Google it, but I’m skipping the introduction and getting to the point.

Recently I’ve seen a lot of people online, mostly men, saying things like, “I guess this means that we can’t ever talk to women anymore!”

This makes me wonder if the men who say this actually think that there is no difference between talking to someone and sexually harassing them.

I could hash out the differences between just talking to someone and masturbating in front of them. But, my dear reader, I think that would be an insult to your intelligence.

So let’s move on to the “gray areas.” The situations that don’t involve touching genitalia. The ones that involve using only words or actions that don’t involve touching the victim at all.

For example, one of my Custodial coworkers once spent the first half of a shift following me around, checking trash cans that I had just pulled the bags from instead of doing his own work elsewhere. Eventually this resulted in me being in a corner with him behind me. When I tried to walk away, he shoved his trash cart in front of me, blocking my path.

“Stop it,” I said.

He laughed, and said, “Stop what?”

I have felt unsafe at work a grand total of two times. This is one of them. (The other involves being nearly struck by lightning.)

Nothing happened after that, technically. I escaped backstage, told one of my coordinators what had happened, and spent the rest of my shift avoiding that man. After a couple weeks of me avoiding him, he finally stopped trying to approach and talk to me.

And I have to wonder if he would look back and that situation and see nothing wrong with it because he was just “talking” to me.

But he wasn’t just “talking” to me. He invaded my space and made a show of keeping me from walking away from him, exerting power over me. And he did so somewhere that I could not afford to shove him away or otherwise make a scene: at work, in front of Guests.

Talking to someone, or interacting with someone, is not inherently harassment. Talking to someone or interacting with them in a way that exerts power over them is harassment.

Are you following someone around, leaning very closely to them, or otherwise invading their space? Would there be negative repercussions for them if they pushed you away, because they’re at work in front of customers, or because they’re locked in your office and you can get them fired? You’re harassing them.

Are you asking someone to go out with you, repeating it every day to show them that you don’t care about their opinion and intend to be a part of their life whether they like it or not? You’re harassing them.

Are you saying or doing anything that makes a comment on someone else’s physical appearance, love life, or sexual behavior? Are you insisting upon hugging or kissing people when you meet them, even if they don’t want to? When someone tells you to stop it, do you laugh and treat it like a joke? You’re harassing them.

“But what if it really is a joke?”

That doesn’t matter. You’re harassing them. If the subject of the joke doesn’t find it funny, then it isn’t funny.

“But what if I really do like them and want to date them?”

That doesn’t matter. You’re harassing them. There are no “good Samaritan” laws for sexual harassment.

“But what if she really does like me, and is just saying ‘no’ to play hard to get?”

Ah, yes, the “girl who plays hard to get,” a lie propagated by Hollywood heroes like Han Solo who just “know” that the girl who says “no” to him all the time really does secretly like him.

Here’s how you find out if a girl is “playing hard to get”: stop pursuing her. If a few days later she comes to you and says, “Hey, why did you stop pursuing me?” then you’ll know she’s interested. If not, then leave her alone.

“But women see harassment everywhere!”

Because, right now, harassment is everywhere.

How much you like your victim is irrelevant. If you wield power over them, they are your victim and you are their abuser. If you make them uncomfortable, they are your victim and you have harassed them.

If you express interest in being near someone or excessively complimenting them, and they do not express a similar interest, it’s on you to not turn it into harassment.

“But I would never do that kind of thing to someone!”

I hope that’s true. Now go tell your friends to cut it out, okay?

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

College Students Confess What They ACTUALLY Think About Sex On The First Date

I am here to spill the tea

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Sex after the first date. Do you do it or do you not do it? To get it on or to not get it on, that is the question.

Before losing my virginity, I would have said hell no. Having sex with someone you just met is simply insane and dangerous! However, more than a year after losing the V-card, my perspective on sex has changed massively. I just had sex with someone after having just met him in person (we talked for a few weeks prior to meeting) and I don't regret a thing. I wanted to know how my peers felt about this very contentious topic, so I asked.

Here's what the people have spoken:

A whopping 47% of my peers said they would have sex on the first date, while 35% said no, and the remaining 18% said maybe, it depended on the situation.

I for one was surprised at the amount who said yes and was happy I wasn't the only one who would do so. What interested me the most were the responses my peers gave as to the reasoning behind their answers. I kept everything anonymous out of respect for those who answered my poll.

"For me, it's situational because it depends on the type of girl, how we met, how long we've been talking before meeting up, and if I'm personally in the mood." - anonymous

A few people mentioned that it depends on the situation, and this person really hit the nail on the head with their response. You could go months talking and finally meet up just to feel no sexual connection with a person worth pursuing, or you could talk for a few weeks, meet up, and have an intense sexual connection come out of nowhere. If you're not in the mood for sex then don't do it. The moment will flow as it is meant to.

"I have before so I can't say I wouldn't." - anonymous

HAHA literally me.

"I don't think enough trust or a bond could be established in one date." - anonymous

"Depends on if you're just looking for fun or an actual relationship." - anonymous

Sex on the first date can, unfortunately, make people pass an inaccurate judgment over you as a person and what you want. You need to remember that if you want to have sex with a guy that it can either go into something more or fizzle out after the deed is done. The right guy won't tap it and run off and the wrong ones will.

"Too early to tell if it's worth it." - anonymous

"Still don't really know the person yet." - anonymous

Understandable. A few people have mentioned something along this line and it's a valid reason. You have to be an extremely trusting person to have sex on the first date.

"Just depends on how I'm feeling with the person, I don't think there's anything wrong with sex on the first date as long as you're both comfortable." - anonymous

If you both feel like going for it, just go for it. Comfort is key.

"Because I want that D." - anonymous

If you want the D, then you go get that D. Doesn't matter what the haters say, they aren't the ones getting any!

"Because why not if the connection/energy is there then it's there." - anonymous

"I'm saving myself for my wife and religion." - anonymous

Respect this a lot. It takes a very strong person to say this and follow through with it in the society we have today.

"If both parties are willing, why not! We shouldn't stigmatize sex to only being for anonymous hookups or long-term relationships; sex is sex." - anonymous

THANK YOU!! YOU ARE SO WOKE! Sex is just that: sex and we as humans have every right to enjoy it as we please without feeling harshly judged. When the vibe is right don't fight it because you think it won't lead you anywhere. If you're meant to be with someone, it doesn't matter when you both decided to have sex for the first time. Harness your sexual liberty and do what makes you and only you happy.

"If they wanted to and we vibed." - anonymous

"If both parties consent, why not?" - anonymous

Don't forget that consent is key kids!

"I would like to get to know the person before." - anonymous

It definitely helps to get to know someone before you have sex with them, but you don't have to be their best friend. I feel like on one date you discuss quite a lot with a person, but I guess it depends on the person. Cue the next response.

"Depends on the person." - anonymous

"How long we have been talking before the date, comfort level, and vibe." - anonymous

As mentioned above, the vibe really is one of the main keys to sex being brought to the table. Issa vibe and if its the right vibe, why not pursue it? I feel like you know in your gut whether sex with someone is a good idea, so trust your gut.

"If I think there is a chance to still see each other again then why not?" - anonymous

"I personally need an intense emotional connection." - anonymous

An intense emotional connection is something you can work on developing over time, but who's to say that the flame of a real connection cannot be found after the first date? I personally felt a very real connection with the guy I slept with on our first meeting. However, it's important we all realize that everyone views the decision to have sex differently, and having sex on the first date isn't for everyone.

I learned a lot from reading what my peers to say and I feel liberated to be able to say what I believe without fear of judgment. Sex is sex and we all feel differently in regards to it. Let's not judge each other for our difference of opinions, but instead lift one another up. Have sex on the first date or don't have sex until you're married. Whatever you do, do with pride.

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I Asked 11 College Girls Their Least Favorite Part About Hookups, And It Was Hard For Them To Pick JUST One

Sex! Let's talk about Sex. These are the things women wish they did not have to deal with when having sex.

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Sex is great and all, but there are some things that us women don't enjoy while having it. Good sex allows you to forget about all of your responsibilities and cares in the world while consuming yourself in the moment with your partner. All the good feelings are running through your body from head to toe and you don't want it to end.

On a college campus full of young adults at their prime, sex is not hard to get, which allows for more experimentation and lessons learned on what people do and don't like. Not everyone enjoys sex the same and there is not a rule book on how to have great sex.

The most important thing to realize about having sex is that communication is important and you get better by doing so. Both parties need to talk about the things they do or do not enjoy while having sex.

Before comparing yourself to the gods of sex, take a look at the things women do not like about having sex.

I interviewed college girls ages 18-21-years-old to get their least favorite things about having sex.

1. Sweat

"I understand everybody's body chemistry is different… but if your sweat falling on me like raindrops then we have a problem." - age 20, single

Sweat is sexy when you just finished working out or doing a manly chore, but the moment your liquids make contact with our skin, it is game over. Feeling wet is no fun (pun fully intended).

2. Going too deep

She may be saying "deeper, deeper" but not every girl wants to feel you in her chest.

"Guys brag about being in our guts, but that actually hurts." - age 20, single

It's all fun and games until you actually shift around a girls organs. When Drake sung "I'm here for a good time, not a long time," that verse does not apply. We want to feel more pleasure than pain, and hitting our cervix is just painful.

3. Getting undressed

"There's that awkward moment when you realize it's not TV sex, so it takes time." - age 19, single

Sometimes we just want to get to the point and taking off clothes can be a lot of work. If you can tell that she is moving fast to get your clothes off, help take hers off, and learn how to unhook a bra.

4. Weak oral game

"Boys don't know the female anatomy and it shows." - age 20, single

It is important that you learn how to pleasure a woman below her equator. Oral is just as necessary as insertion and the last thing we want is you being downstairs for ten minutes and us not feeling anything more than a wet tickle.

5. Riding on top

We see it on movies and X-rated films, so this position is not uncommon. The work behind it is no joke and can take a toll on some women.

"It's honestly a work, and it's especially hard when your thighs get tired." - age 21, in a relationship

If you see she not enjoying the ride, give her a break and so she can gather herself for a new position. Not every girl has the leg strength of an equestrian and we need you to take that into account.

6. Cumming too quickly

We deserve rounds. Just because you get your fix does not mean you can tap out.

"I need you to last because I have stamina." - age 21, single

It's been proven time and time again that women take longer to have an orgasm than men. With that in mind, you need to hold out as long as you can to make sure she at least reaches her climax.

7. Being in a position too long

We are not statues, we cannot take your pounding in the same stance forever.

"You almost feel stuck, you have to get out of that position." - age 18, single

You have got to be versatile in your movements and allow us the chance to change positions as needed.

8. Doing all the work

Nobody likes a slacker a group project, and having sex is that project. Both parties need to be attentive and active.

"He has got to do something, but I also won't lay there like a star fish." - age 20, single

Whether you need an energy drink or more foreplay to get in the mood, you have to get involved and do your part.

9. Bad tastes

"Dick tastes like bleach." - age 21, single

Not every girl likes giving head. You shouldn't push her to do something she does not want to do. As for the girls that like giving head, they don't appreciate a head pusher. Pushing her head down will lead to unanticipated choking.

10. Too much talking

Be confident in all that you do, but you do not need to let us know every three minutes.

"Sometimes it's like 'okay, shut up'. I can do without 'what's my name? Call me daddy'." - age 21, in a relationship

Talking takes away from the feelings in the moment, we want to feel every part of you and embrace it all. If you talk too much, it is a distraction from what we want to pay attention to most.

11.  Second guessing yourself

We are our own worst critics and it is not always healthy.

"I know I'm like that, but I like reassurance." - age 21, single

Sex varies per person, but sometimes we compare other experiences to our own which breaks down our sexual confidence. Reassure your partner that you like what she is doing so she knows that she is in fact, a sex goddess.

Avoid these gross things college girls hate about sex by asking her what she does not like. Next time you get jiggy you'll be a pro.

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