I haven’t wanted to write about relationships and singleness because I think I somehow thought I had mastered the concept, that years of pining after boys and being passed over for someone else had somehow made me immune to yearning for a relationship. I thought I was better than the girls I see so desperate to meet “the one”.

I know that you don’t want to read this because it won’t change anything.

“You don’t need him anyways.” “Just be patient, God is writing your love story.” I know you’re rolling your eyes at me right about now, not because these are not halfway-decent pieces of advice but because I know you’ve heard it all before. I know you’ve memorized the half-hearted, “you’re right, I know” and forced smile as these words go in one ear and out the other.

I know how hard it is.

I know how hard it is to scroll through social media. I know the pain and hurt that comes in seasons of loneliness because I’ve been you. I’ve spent more nights and months than I would care to admit in your exact shoes.

I know you feel lost and hopelessly lonely. You are terrified you won’t ever find anyone. You are sick of seeing every other girl find her happy ending while all you ever get are unreturned efforts and mountains of hurt.

This is for you.

I don’t really know what to say, and I am not naïve – I know that words don’t make the perfect boy appear out of thin air.

I’m sorry society has taught you to believe you need a significant other to be happy.

I’m sorry that you cannot go anywhere without your friend or your mom or your grandma asking if you’ve found a guy yet. I’m sorry that society tries to convince you that you are nothing without a relationship. I’m sorry society glorifies hooking up and one night stands and knights in shining armor and romanticizes romance. I’m sorry for Jim and Pam, and Chuck and Blair, and for every prince charming and damsel in distress that every TV show shoves down your throat, making you think that you’re somehow inferior because your life isn’t some drawn-out, epic romance.

Your prayers are not unheard.

I know this is a tough thing to believe, and I don’t doubt that you’ve prayed many a time for that boy to text you back or that relationship to hold on, and you’ve been angry and confused at God for not doing anything about it.

So to the one who’s heard it all before, I can’t make the pain and loneliness and longing go away.

On paper, I’ve never been one to sugar coat, so I don’t want to tell you singleness is supposed to be easy. Because it’s really hard trying to listen to that still small voice when the world is trying to tell you everything God isn’t. I don’t have an answer as to why it’s so hard because I’ve been there and I am there and I know what you’re going through but the good news is, God knows what you’re going through too. That fact may not bring comfort, but here are some truths from His word, things that God wants you, sitting in the despair of your singleness, to know:

You are so loved. Like, so loved.

(Psalm 36:5-6, Ephesians 5:2, 1 John 3:1, 1 John 3:16)

You are wanted even at your worst.

(Romans 5:8)

You belong to a God who is never letting go.

(Isaiah 43:1-2)

You are being relentlessly pursued.

(Luke 15:3-7)

Your worth is found in Christ.

(2 Corinthians 5:17, 1 Peter 2:9)

You are precious in God’s eyes.

(Isaiah 43:4)

You are exactly who you are supposed to be. Nothing is wrong with you.

(Psalms 139:13-16)

You are created for a specific purpose.

(Ephesian 2:10)

God has good things in store for you.

(Romans 8:28 - IMPORTANT - God’s definition of “good things”: things that God believes are good, so probably not the same things you think are good)

Most importantly, I want you to know you are not alone.

Recently the Lord has been teaching me the value and the importance of truly casting our cares to Him. God feels your hurt, and He wants you to bring your ugliest insults and deepest frustrations to His feet because He wants you to know the same thing I’m telling you now: you are not alone just because you feel lonely.

I don’t have any sort of answers at all. And I think that's okay. All I can do is point to a cross, where a man without sin willingly died out of love for you. Yes, you might've heard this before too. It seems simple and cliché and too easy to be true but I promise you it’s the best truth and the best love there is. And it’s waiting for you with open arms.