The 10 Commandments Of Long Distance Every LDR Must Obey Just To Survive

According to a report published by USA Today, 70% of college students have been in long-distance relationships at some point. This means that there is a chance that this year, you might find yourself in a long distance relationship.

While a long distance relationship (or LDR as they're commonly called online) may seem daunting at first, here's what you can do to make your LDR work:

1. Keep in contact.

You don't have to constantly be on the phone with your significant other, but having daily or weekly phone or FaceTime calls will help make the distance seem closer.

2. Set your ground rules...

Some couples are 100% loyal in LDRs. Others allow each other to dance with people at parties, engage in light flirting, or be in an open relationship when they're apart. Talk over all of this with your significant other, and make sure that you're both on the same page. Remember that healthy relationships involve clear communication and respect!

3. ... and follow them.

You don't want to end up on a "babe he was so cute and you're so far away and I just needed someone to talk to in person" phone call. If you and your significant other have decided to be 100% loyal to each other while you're apart, be 100% loyal. If you've decided that dancing with other people at parties is okay, you can dance with that cutie at the bar, but nothing else. Respect the boundaries that you've both decided to set.

4. Remember birthdays and anniversaries.

If you're going to be away from each other for birthdays and anniversaries, send a gift or a card in the mail. It's okay to put off a birthday or anniversary dinner until you're together again.

5. Make a visiting schedule that works for BOTH of you.

Take into account distance, transport, personal schedules, and your schools' guest policies. If you decide that you want to visit every week, go for it. If every month works out better, that's fine too. Remember that sometimes a scheduled visit might need to be canceled, or that traffic might delay an arrival time. If you decide to go for a "surprise visit", make sure that you aren't coming at a time when your significant other might not have time to spend with you.

6. Remember that you're in a relationship.

Yes, you're not at the same school as your significant other, but remember that you're still in a relationship -- so act like it.

7. Make friends with their friends when you visit.

Knowing and being friends with your significant other's friends will help you feel less awkward when you visit.

8. Know each others' schedules.

This will help with scheduling calls and visits.

9. If you break up, be careful how you go about it.

You don't want to ask your significant other over for a visit just to tell them "hey, this isn't working out anymore", but you also don't want to be too casual with the break up. If anything, tell them "we need to talk", and prepare to have a long phone or FaceTime conversation. As with any breakup, be courteous and careful with how you phrase things.

10. Don't let people discourage you.

There are always going to be people who say things like "oh, an LDR isn't worth it" or "wouldn't you rather date someone who goes to school with you?". But, if an LDR is working for you, and you love and are happy with the person you're dating, ignore these people. Everyone finds a relationship that works for them -- and an LDR works for you.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin


Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.


The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.


Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments