Newsflash: Doing Long Distance In College Is About More Than FaceTiming

Newsflash: Doing Long Distance In College Is About More Than FaceTiming

It's going to take a lot more work than just calling each other every day.

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For some reason, we have created this idea that doing a long distance relationship in college will be easy or doable for everyone as long as you can make time to FaceTime each other regularly. We act like this is the only thing you have to do to hold a serious relationship together. And, let's face it, if you're willing to do long distance in college, it is a serious relationship and you probably see it going toward forever because if you didn't, you wouldn't be willing to work at it as much as you have to to keep it alive.

I've been in an LDR for two years now, starting on three, and in that time I've learned a lot more than I even knew was possible. I've become close personal friends with heartbreak and pure joy, I've found out what it's like to really commit to something or someone, I've seen the importance of being in the physical presence of another person, and I've learned how to be my best self.

Anyone who tells you that being in an LDR doesn't hurt is lying. It is one of the hardest, most painful things I have ever done. Knowing the person you love and need the most isn't anywhere close to you is a terrifying and horribly sad thought. You learn to lean on friends when you can, but nothing can substitute for your S/O. You find yourself resenting couples walking around campus, happy and in love. Even during your most fun and joyful moments, there is a tinge of sadness because you can't help thinking how much more fun and great that moment would be if your S/O could share it too. You'd rather rip your heart out of your chest than leave your other half because, honestly, that would probably hurt less. Being in an LDR is like being stabbed slowly, just enough to sting slightly most of the time with sharp bursts of pain sometimes.

And what do you do about it? You keep hanging on. A big part of your relationship surviving the heartbreak of an LDR is both of you being stubborn and determined to stick it out and not to let the pain get the better of you. You can't FaceTime away that hurt (although, it certainly doesn't hurt to try).

It takes a lot of work. You both have to be wiling to make sacrifices you never dreamed of making. Sometimes, that sacrifice is time, sometimes it's money, sometimes it's something else. Any long distance relationship that isn't made of two people wiling to give up just about anything for each other isn't going to make it. Your LDR needs the same kind of commitment as your classes; you have to work hard at it and you have to do it a lot.

On those rare, blissful occasions when you're actually physically together, the sad creeps back in because you know that it won't be long before you're apart again. You have to be willing to deal with it and to set all of that aside. It's enough to drive you crazy. You learn quickly how much a hug means to you when your favorite hugger is 300 miles away. You can't recreate the easy silence you get when you're with each other during a FaceTime. And that's just another thing that you have to be OK with.

You also learn a lot about singleness. Because other than the fact that you aren't actively looking for someone to be with because that place in your heart is already filled, you still don't exactly have an S/O in the "normal" way. I know for me, I've learned that, while I could do everything without my boyfriend, I'd rather not. But, I know that I could. And I know who I am apart from another person. But this can honestly be the suckiest part of an LDR too. Because single people, while it sucks to have to wonder if you're ever going to find anyone, can at least be looking and actively trying. Those of us in an don't have that option; it's just another piece of the heartbreak aspect that we learn to deal with.

Basically, if you want your LDR to work, you can't just rely on FaceTime. You've got to be willing to deal and to be better for someone else. You've got to be willing to give up things and to take on a fair amount of heartache all in exchange for this other person that you love. For me, I can't imagine anything else. I couldn't give my boyfriend up even if I wanted to — and we're still working on mastering some of the lessons I mentioned. If you think it's going to be easy, it isn't. But, if you really love the other person, then it doesn't matter because it'll be worth it.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To The Boyfriend Who Makes It Feel Like Valentine's Day Every Single Day Of The Year

I couldn't ask for better.

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If love is in the air and it's all over your Instagram feed, that can only mean one thing: Valentine's Day is approaching.

When it comes to Valentine's Day, people typically try to go over the top and demonstrate how much love they have for someone else through giving gifts. Whether that's flowers, chocolates, or going out to dinner, the gifts are meant to show that it's a special day that's all about the person they love.

That's not the case for me.

Valentine's Day is just another day to me. The love I receive from my boyfriend on a daily basis makes me feel like a queen every day, so nothing will really change once February 14th rolls around.

To him, I just want to say two things: thank you, and I love you.

Growing up, I never thought I would know a love as wholesome as yours. I sure as hell never thought I would deserve it, either, but you've shown me my worth and what real love feels like.

I used to not know my worth. I used to only know love as something that turned toxic and controlling. You changed all of that once you came into my life. You have shown me a healthy love that was trusting and unconditional, and I'll love you forever because of that.

I don't need Valentine's Day to know how much you love me. I don't need flowers, chocolates, or anything material to know that you see the rest of your life by my side. I know all of these things because you consistently show me that they're true on a daily basis.

You show me love in everything you do, whether that's holding the door open for me when we go out to eat, asking me how my day was, or making sure that my mental health is okay. You always greet me with a hug and a kiss, and you make me feel like I'm the most important person in the entire world.

You don't need to demonstrate a grand gesture to prove to me that you love me because I've never once doubted your feelings for me. You always tell me how beautiful I am and all of the things you love about me. I'm so thankful to be so head over heels for someone who cares about me with all of their heart.

I could never ask for someone better than you to be my partner in crime. You know me better than I know myself and I love every fiber of who you are. I know that in everything you do, you have me in your mind and your heart. You've shown me what it means to truly love someone, and for that, I'm so grateful.

Thank you for showing me what I deserve, and thank you for making every day feel like the most romantic holiday on the calendar. I love you.

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If You're Grossed Out By PDA, Then Don't Look At Me And My Boyfriend Kissing, Easy As That

Building my relationship and showing my boyfriend how much I love him will always be more important than catering to someone's bitterness.

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Whenever I see two people kiss, I always smile to myself briefly before looking away. That may sound weird, but honestly, there's something really heartwarming about knowing that other people are happy and in love. In a world that all too often seems full of hatred, heartbreak, and suffering, I try to value little moments of love. I've always felt this way, regardless of whether I was moody or happy, single or cuffed, and having a good or bad day. But apparently, other people, as I've recently found out, don't feel the same way.

"Do you two ever brush your teeth?"

"Are you picking bugs off of each other?"

*Other various glares and audibly annoyed sounds*

Talk about a mood killer, right?

I'll never get what possesses people to say stuff like that when there's a simple solution to this problem.

Don't like it? Don't look.

No one is forcing you to watch us be affectionate with each other. You can easily turn around, check the notifications on your phone, or talk to whoever you're with instead.

I've kissed my boyfriend in LOADS of places: restaurants, bus stops, school buildings, carnivals, parks, beaches, cars, apartments, social gatherings, and so on... And I can promise you that even when you act disgusted by what we're doing or make a nasty comment about us, we're not going to stop. So there's really no point in wasting your breath or expending energy on overdramatic facial expressions.

Even if just for a brief moment, try to think about why a couple might be showing affection for each other in public. (News flash: They're not doing it to deliberately make you comfortable.) It's more than likely that these two people are making the most of a moment.

They're happy and in love. There's nothing wrong with that.

On the flip side, why are you making such a big deal out of something that doesn't involve you whatsoever? My guess is that you're either unbearably lonely, jealous because your own relationship isn't suiting your needs, or just generally coldhearted. If any of those scenarios are true, I wouldn't be surprised. You chose to be hateful and rude over being civil and staying out of matters that don't personally involve you.

Regardless of the circumstance, it's a you problem that you need to work out on your own time.

Just like communication and effort, affection is an important part of a relationship. I want my boyfriend to know that regardless of where we are or who is around us, I will never be embarrassed or reluctant to kiss him or touch him. His feelings guide my behavior. He's my #1 priority. Building my relationship and showing my boyfriend how much I love him will always be more important than catering to someone's bitterness.

You can't avoid being around happy couples in public (really, we're everywhere), but you can change your reaction to them. And that's that.

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