Newsflash: Doing Long Distance In College Is About More Than FaceTiming

Newsflash: Doing Long Distance In College Is About More Than FaceTiming

It's going to take a lot more work than just calling each other every day.

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For some reason, we have created this idea that doing a long distance relationship in college will be easy or doable for everyone as long as you can make time to FaceTime each other regularly. We act like this is the only thing you have to do to hold a serious relationship together. And, let's face it, if you're willing to do long distance in college, it is a serious relationship and you probably see it going toward forever because if you didn't, you wouldn't be willing to work at it as much as you have to to keep it alive.

I've been in an LDR for two years now, starting on three, and in that time I've learned a lot more than I even knew was possible. I've become close personal friends with heartbreak and pure joy, I've found out what it's like to really commit to something or someone, I've seen the importance of being in the physical presence of another person, and I've learned how to be my best self.

Anyone who tells you that being in an LDR doesn't hurt is lying. It is one of the hardest, most painful things I have ever done. Knowing the person you love and need the most isn't anywhere close to you is a terrifying and horribly sad thought. You learn to lean on friends when you can, but nothing can substitute for your S/O. You find yourself resenting couples walking around campus, happy and in love. Even during your most fun and joyful moments, there is a tinge of sadness because you can't help thinking how much more fun and great that moment would be if your S/O could share it too. You'd rather rip your heart out of your chest than leave your other half because, honestly, that would probably hurt less. Being in an LDR is like being stabbed slowly, just enough to sting slightly most of the time with sharp bursts of pain sometimes.

And what do you do about it? You keep hanging on. A big part of your relationship surviving the heartbreak of an LDR is both of you being stubborn and determined to stick it out and not to let the pain get the better of you. You can't FaceTime away that hurt (although, it certainly doesn't hurt to try).

It takes a lot of work. You both have to be wiling to make sacrifices you never dreamed of making. Sometimes, that sacrifice is time, sometimes it's money, sometimes it's something else. Any long distance relationship that isn't made of two people wiling to give up just about anything for each other isn't going to make it. Your LDR needs the same kind of commitment as your classes; you have to work hard at it and you have to do it a lot.

On those rare, blissful occasions when you're actually physically together, the sad creeps back in because you know that it won't be long before you're apart again. You have to be willing to deal with it and to set all of that aside. It's enough to drive you crazy. You learn quickly how much a hug means to you when your favorite hugger is 300 miles away. You can't recreate the easy silence you get when you're with each other during a FaceTime. And that's just another thing that you have to be OK with.

You also learn a lot about singleness. Because other than the fact that you aren't actively looking for someone to be with because that place in your heart is already filled, you still don't exactly have an S/O in the "normal" way. I know for me, I've learned that, while I could do everything without my boyfriend, I'd rather not. But, I know that I could. And I know who I am apart from another person. But this can honestly be the suckiest part of an LDR too. Because single people, while it sucks to have to wonder if you're ever going to find anyone, can at least be looking and actively trying. Those of us in an don't have that option; it's just another piece of the heartbreak aspect that we learn to deal with.

Basically, if you want your LDR to work, you can't just rely on FaceTime. You've got to be willing to deal and to be better for someone else. You've got to be willing to give up things and to take on a fair amount of heartache all in exchange for this other person that you love. For me, I can't imagine anything else. I couldn't give my boyfriend up even if I wanted to — and we're still working on mastering some of the lessons I mentioned. If you think it's going to be easy, it isn't. But, if you really love the other person, then it doesn't matter because it'll be worth it.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

PSA: Don't Text And Date, Do It Like Our Grandparents

Waiting for a text from a boy is like waiting for water to boil. Sometimes I think if I take a lap around my kitchen then the text will magically light up my phone.

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Texting in our relationships has become so prevalent that it has snuck its way into TV. shows and movies, as well as songs. This makes sense because it is such a large part of our lives. Texting boys can be great in some cases, especially in long distance relationships.

And don't get me wrong, it certainly can be exciting!

But I've realized is that it has the potential to be incredibly inefficient and waste a whole lot of everyone's time. The time that is wasted is a combination of the time spent texting in a conversation that leads absolutely nowhere, along with the time you spend thinking about when that next text is going to roll in. Not to mention all the time you spend screenshotting these texts and sending them to your friends and asking advice on how to craft a perfect reply and agonizing over the right wording, re-typing over and over again, having everyone from your best friend to your Mom weigh in on the perfect syntax.

For a generation that is obsessed with getting everything as fast as possible, why are we contacting each other so inefficiently? We think we will just send a quick text, but more often than not, it turns into a whole production.

Snapchat can be even worse. Taking time out of your day to take a well-lit selfie and send it to a boy just so he can send you a snap of his actual chin is just ridiculous.

We are talking to people constantly about absolutely nothing. And quite frankly, we all deserve more. Technology is great, but just because it is advanced doesn't mean it's advancing our communication skills. Boys, I think it might be time to pick up the phone again. Imagine if instead of spending countless hours in a Snapchat conversation grasping at straws to make a plan with the girl you like, you actually just picked up the phone. The call would take maybe two minutes to set up a plan instead of whittling away a whole day. It seems like just because we have the option to text or message someone, we forget that we have the alternative of a trusty phone call.

If our grandparents had dated the way that we did, would they have ever worked out? Would our parents ever have been born? Would we even exist?

As I am re-watching "Sex and The City," "Gilmore Girls" and "Friends" yet again, I am overcome with nostalgia about what dating was like during these times. I'd love to come home to a message on my machine.

Maybe you're reading this and you think I'm lame and old fashioned and you're absolutely right, but I think I have a point. In order to have better success in our romantic relationships, we need to work on actually saying something. Why are we claiming we are "talking" to someone when we have never talked to them in person? How did we end up in this reality of sulking when we have been left on read, or obsessively checking to see if someone has viewed our Snapchat story?

We've been given all these ways of pseudo-communicating and endless time to do it and absolutely no rule book of what is acceptable. When you really think about it, it's a recipe for disaster that could be destroying our relationships before they even start. We need an Emily Post of technology to teach us how to behave. We need to stop abusing the convenience of technology and start challenging ourselves to communicate better.

I challenge you if you're a single lady that the next time a boy asks for your Snapchat, tell them you'd prefer it if they called you to make plans.

Guys, just call a girl! It might really impress her! Everyone who tries this has full permission to call me and yell at me if the person who calls you/you call says you're a huge freak. But do me a favor and start leaving your ringer on when you're not in class. Let's talk.

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13 Reasons To Date An Aries Girl ASAP

Once she's in, she is in with her entire heart.

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It's my absolute favorite season: Aries season! As an Aries, I tend to flourish as my best self once Aries season rolls around. I'm here to lead the way into the new astrological year, and as a single Aries, I'm here to convince single guys why they should date an Aries girl like me ASAP.

1. She's adventurous

She's not content with humdrum dates, she needs action or she'll leave you out of boredom. She'll be down for something to get her adrenaline pumping and will keep you on your toes.

2. She's driven

She's a girl with goals. She's independent and doesn't need anyone holding her back from what she wants. Support her or get out of her way.

3. She's all in whole-heartedly

When she falls, she falls all at once with her entire being. This is a girl who is willing to put her heart on the line for love once she knows it's real. You'll never have to worry about her heart being anywhere else but with you.

4. She's very direct with her likes and dislikes

She isn't a sugar coater since she hates liars, so she'll be honest about everything. Whether you like it or not, you'll always get the truth from an Aries girl.

5. She's super passionate

Whatever it may be, an Aries will be passionate for what she loves. I am passionate about writing, and I never let anything get in the way of it. In a relationship, an Aries girl will bring the heat that comes with her passion for you.

6. She's not a clinger

She hates clingers SO MUCH. Over the top PDA or romantic things generally make an Aries cringe (maybe not all of us, but I know that's how it is for me). She loves getting attention, but being clingy is a major turnoff, and she isn't one herself. She's not going to beg to see you 24/7, she likes to lead her own life.

7. She's a great listener

She loves to talk, but something she's just as great at is listening. She'll ask you so many questions to get to know you and really listen to what you have to say when you answer them.

8. She's big on friends and family, they come first

She's a big proponent of valuing her friends and family above all else. She will likely go to them for advice about everything. Meeting them is more important to an Aries than many people realize. If you're big on family, she's the girl for you.

9. She's open to anything in the bedroom

Got a fantasy? She's game to indulge. She's adventurous and that extends to bedroom activities as well. The same old routine bores her, so don't be afraid to experiment and try new things.

10. She only uses the past as a means to learn

She's probably got a rough past she doesn't necessarily want to talk about. The past is the past and she tries to use this as a lesson. It takes a lot for her to open up about it. She tries to be optimistic and keep herself in the present, and this optimism may rub off on you eventually.

11. Her cuddle game is epic

You'll never want to leave bed once your Aries girl gets her hands on you. You'll be too comfortable to leave.

12. She loves fashion and wears trends well

She loves wearing what's in fashion and looking her very best. Her outfits may put yours to shame. She's the kind of woman you want on your arm while you're out on the town.

13. She'll be the woman you'll never forget

You may break up or drift apart, but she's the girl that will leave a permanent mark on your heart. She's unforgettable.

Get your Aries while you can, because if you don't scoop her up, someone else will.

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