My Long-Distance Relationship Didn't Work In College, But Looking Back, That's OK

My Long-Distance Relationship Didn't Work In College, But Looking Back, That's OK

It took me a while to realize just what I had when I had it.
638
views

If I would've written this article six months ago, it would've been a completely different headline, with a completely different message, and most likely, I wouldn't even be part of Odyssey, let alone president of the Bowling Green Odyssey community.

After six or so months, I have thought about writing this article a few times. Each time, I have gone a different route with the message. Well anyways, I've spent time reflecting, caught some feelings, grown a ton, treated myself, and found my voice, and I am ready to write. Except, It isn't angry.

Going into college, I found myself dating this boy. He was amazing, still is. He loves life, loves Jesus, gives of himself every day, is talented, athletic, smart, and driven. He loves his mom, his family, and is an incredible big brother. Many of the things I knew I wanted in a husband. We fell for each other because we had similar values, and we grew to love each other because we knew there was something big in the future for both of us. We thought that life would be peaches and cream and apple butter on toast in the morning, but when it came to real life, maybe we didn't have it so figured out. I like to think that we gave each other what we needed when we needed it.

I am a firm believer that when we were dating we were supposed to be. I believe that we were in each other’s lives when we needed to be. I also believe that we left each other’s lives when we needed to. On the night that we broke up, I remember my roommate wrapping her arm around me as I ~ugly~ cried. I remember calling my dad and him telling me that everything would be OK. However, I remember feeling like nothing would be OK.

I remember that one of the first thoughts that went through my mind was that I was going to have to do it all again. I would have to meet someone again, I would have to date again, I have to go through all of that awkward get to know someone moment again. Someone would have to learn to love me again, someone would have to get to know me again, understand my past, see where I wanted to be in the future.

That was terrifying.

When we were dating, he was my safe place. He was my security and my escape. And anyone who knows me knows that I’m definitely not a big risk taker. They know that I like things to be scheduled, that I like to be comfortable. With him, I was comfortable. at the time I needed that comfort.

I know however that he left my life when he needed to because without that sense of security being taken away from me I wouldn’t be the person I am today. This break up was uncomfortable for me. It took me out of my comfort zone, or quite literally took it away from me. However, it is not with anger that I say that, it is with gratitude because I know that this was the first of many times I would step outside of my comfort zone, leading me to where I am today.

So, thank you. Thank you for the laughs, the hugs, the long drives, and the even longer conversations about life thank you for making me feel safe, and thank you for being there for me when I needed it. I know we didn’t work out in the long run, but I know you’re doing big things. I’m so grateful for the time that I did have you in my life. I know now that it’s OK.

Cover Image Credit: Erika Glover

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

When You Feel Like Nobody Ever Likes You Back

Please don't let it break you.

469
views

It appears that I reached many people when I described how it felt to be single for 18 years (and update: it's almost 20 years now), but perhaps I can reach even more people when I explain the feeling when it seems like nobody *ever* likes you back. It's tough and it sucks. Maybe people feel this way about you. Or maybe you're in the exact same position that I am. Whatever end you're on, I'd imagine that you could relate or understand in some sort of way.

It's always fun to like someone new. We all love to fantasize about this new person, tell our friends (or enjoy the sneaky satisfaction of remaining cryptic about it), give him the Instagram follow (but you can't be the first to like his pictures so you wait to be the 23rd), get his phone number (and try *extra* hard not to text it too often), and gaze at a fresh face in class or at our activities.

We get that rush of happiness when he likes our Instagram pictures or when he answers our texts or when he views our Snapchat story or when he makes any type of effort to speak to us.

It's all fun and games. Until reality creeps in and so do our doubts and realizations that he probably doesn't like us back.

And I understand that feeling. We get left on open or read with no follow-up and freeze in our tracks. We see him flirting with someone else and our stomachs churn. And, worst of all, we find out he is in a relationship with someone else and we can feel our hearts physically sink. We begin doubting and hating ourselves and questioning our own intrinsic worth.

In the prolonged time I've been single, I've felt these feelings over and over and over again. And sometimes people can undermine the pain because it isn't a real break-up from an established boyfriend. But we still feel the breaking of our hearts and like our feelings are valid.

It's safe to say I've had to take many Ls in the relationship department, and I continue to take Ls, so I can (probably) relate to what you're feeling.

I've been explicitly told, "I don't like you back." I've tried to break down the touch barrier, but it would build itself back up stronger than ever. I've felt led on only to discover that the person was seeing someone else all along. Even today as a (nearly) 20-year-old, my doubts set in, my flirting efforts are either too strong or not strong enough, and I receive telltale signs that my fantasies will stay fantasies.

And you probably have been in similar situations or perhaps taken different Ls. And you feel ugly. And you feel unlovable. And it sucks.

But you're not. Please don't let it break you.

If you wouldn't place your self-esteem in the hands of the stranger at the bus stop, you shouldn't place your self-esteem in the hands of any one guy. Both the stranger and your love interest are individuals and don't deserve that kind of power. Some situations are not meant to be and that doesn't make you any less beautiful or amazing of a person. Everybody will only have one truly happy ending regardless of who they are. So muster up the strength to move on, and realize that perhaps the happiest endings require the most loss and heartbreak to get there.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

14 Song Lyrics That Say 'I Miss You' Just As Good As Blink 182

Because sometimes you want to say more than just "I miss you."

382
views

Music can speak incredible volumes that regular words can't reach. I use music all the time to describe how I'm feeling or what I'm going through. I use it most in my relationships, especially with my boyfriend. As a musician, him and I are always finding songs that describe how we feel for each other and the emotions we experience.

Saying "I miss you", sometimes can feel, almost dissipated. But song lyrics can *really* tell someone how much you actually miss them. These are 11 song lyrics that are perfect to tell that special someone you miss them.

1. "Wish You Were Here" by Avril Lavigne

"You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here"

2. "Far Away" by Nickleback

"That I love you I have loved you all along and I miss you
Been far away for far too long"

3. "Hey There, Delilah" by Plain White T's

"Hey there, Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side"





4. "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith

"Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't want to miss a thing"


5. "Home" by Michael Buble or Blake Shelton

"Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just want to go home
Oh I miss you, you know"



6. "Faithfully" by Journey

"Two strangers learn
To fall in love again
I get the joy
Of rediscovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully"





7. "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum

"It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now"

8. "Making Memories Of Us" by Keith Urban

"I'm gonna be here for you from now on
This you know somehow
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now
And I'm gonna make you a promise
If there's life after this
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss"




9. "I'm Already There" by Lonestar

"Wish I was in your arms
Lying right there beside you
But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight"

10. "Talking to the Moon" by Bruno Mars

"At night when the stars
Light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the moon
Tryin' to get to you
In hopes you're on
The other side
Talking to me too"






11. "All I Want" by Kodaline

"All I want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door
'Cause if I could see your face once more
I could die as a happy man I'm sure"


12.  "The Few Things" by JP Saxe

"You're one of the few things that I'm sure of
You're one of the few things that I know already
I could build my world of
One of the few things that I'm sure of"


13. "Kiss Me Thru The Phone" by Soulja Boy

"And that's the issue, girl you know I miss you
I just wanna kiss you
But I can't right now
So baby kiss me thru the phone (kiss me thru the phone)"


14.  "Falling for You" by The 1975

"I'll take it one day at a time
Soon you will be mine, oh, but I want you now (I want you now)
When the smoke is in your eyes, you look so alive
Do you fancy sitting down with me maybe
'Cause you're all I need"




OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments