If You've Had The Same F*ck Buddy For A Long Time, These 11 Feelings Will Seem Way Too Familiar To You

Having a friend with benefits is the staple of college relationships. Commitment is something a lot of college kids run away with fear from, but having someone who will always be there when you're down for a night on the sheets is a necessity.

For a lot of people, having a friend with benefits falls apart within a few months. Someone catches feelings, someone wants something more than the other, or things just all-in-all get really damn messy. This means the situation the two of you are in ends a lot quicker than you probably thought.

But for some of us, having a friend with benefits doesn't get messy, and can actually last a really long time. For anyone out there who has had the same FWB for a year (or two, like someone I know...), these feelings are some I'm sure you've felt time and time again.

1. Having someone who is always to hook up is the BEST.

I don't have to spend a bunch of time swiping on Tinder and awkwardly having conversations with only one purpose. All I have to do is send a couple texts and next thing you know he's over.

2. We've known each other for so long I could literally write a book about him, but yet I'm also 100% not taking him home for Thanksgiving.

We've been hanging out for so long and having random conversations about our life that I know where he's going to be working when he graduates, stuff about his family, and his favorite character from "The Office." But would I let him come to Thanksgiving dinner? Hell. No.

3. Constantly wondering how much different things would be if the two of you started dating.

Just a label, probably.

4. My neighbors have seen him over so often they probably think we are dating...

Having the same guy over every Friday and Saturday means every stranger in the nearby apartment is just going to go ahead and assume he's your boyfriend.

5. What is it like to have sex with someone other than them?

After having sex with the same person for so long, you begin to forget what it's like to hook up with different people. Which can be a good thing YES, but can also be kinda weird.

6. Aren't friends with benefits supposed to be messy?

Literally everyone told me to avoid getting an FWB at all costs because it'd be super messy and I'd catch feelings only to be let down. I like to think they were kind of wrong, because my relationship with my long-term friend with benefits is the farthest thing from messy. It's really amazing, actually.

7. When grandma asks me if I'm talking to any boys, do I tell her about him or no?

Is what we're doing worth noting to grandma at the dinner table because I'm gonna guess probably not...

8. We never actually put a label on our relationship, so what actually are we?!

We never officially said we're friends with benefits, so what exactly is our relationship? I guess this is the part where stuff can get messy...

9. Are they hooking up with anyone else?

Because we never put a label on things, we also never became exclusive. This means for all I know they could be spend their Thursday nights at some girl named Rachel's apartment doing the same thing we do at least once a week. It's an odd thought.

10. Do they think there's a potential for more between us?

Once again, this is where I can see things getting kind of messy, especially if we're not on the same page.

11. Should I hope for more between us?

After hooking up for two years and getting to know each other pretty damn well, I'm going to go ahead and assume if there was any hope for the two of us to be something more, it would've already happened.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Hello, I'm 24, And Yes, I'm A Virgin — And Yes, I'll Answer All Of Your Redundant Questions At Once

You read that correctly.


"What? Are you serious?"

"Wait a minute, there is no way you are telling me the truth."

"How are you still a virgin? Are you religious? Are you waiting for marriage? Why haven't you had sex yet? That's just so crazy..."

Welcome to my world.

First, let me introduce myself again. Hi there, my name is Reanna, I'm a 24-year-old writer and also a virgin, how do you do? The first thing in that sentence is the V word, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Now that isn't something I start going and telling people, trust me it's the last thing I want to do. I get bombarded with almost every single question up above and I hate answering it every time. The only time I decide to share it is if someone asks me something along the lines of sex or when I can't offer my opinion.

It's a little-known fact that I tend to hide from people but not anymore. Let the world know, is it's any of their business but guess what? I'm not the only one out there. It's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm certainly not. What bothers me most is when people start questioning it and looking at me like I'm crazy.

Fine, I'll answer your simple questions above.

Yes, I said I was a virgin. Yes, again, I'm dead serious. I'm telling you the truth, why lie? I'm still a virgin because I choose to be. No, I'm not religious. I don't want to ever get married so I'm not waiting for marriage. Again, I just haven't found the guy to have sex with and it is still my choice. Think it's crazy, just don't judge me.

Sex is sex, what's the big problem here?

If I choose not to sleep with a guy, I have the right to it. I have the right to be a virgin until I decide it is the best time not to be anymore. I already know I shocked you by the title but why should you be so shocked? Is it because most people lose their virginity in high school? Is it usually to their first boyfriend?

Nothing separates me from you.

You don't need to laugh or really comment on the sentence. If I'm a virgin, I'm a virgin. If you are not, then you're not. If you are, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's a strange situation to be in when people look at you like you are an alien from a different planet. People get so surprised as if you just said you came from Mars.

Maybe this is my experience but I'm in no rush to have sex.

There comes a day when it may happen but I'm not rushing to find the one so to speak. Until then, I'm glad this is off my chest and I'm glad for you to know that. You know why? Because any guy you tell that to is desperate to change your mind, trust me. If you can't respect it, why should I be the one you sleep with?

So guys here is a complete tip: If a girl tells you she is a virgin, don't act so shocked, don't act so surprised.

Nod your head, respect the choice and move on. It's as simple as that.

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What It's Like Being A 20-Year-Old Virgin In The 21st Century

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.

Sex. The topic we only spoke of in hushed tones in the past has quickly become a part of our everyday interactions. It seems to be the center of our motivations, thoughts, actions, and feelings. This is the reason I don't feel uncomfortable dedicating this week's article to the subject. Now, mom and dad, if you're reading this, I won't be offended if you stop. I'd actually be quite happy. Everybody else, do me a favor and ask yourself this:

What does it mean to be a virgin in today's society?

There is a social stigma associated with being a virgin. We're all prudes, are mega-religious, and have never even thought about what it would be like to share a night with Ryan Gosling. Right? Wrong. I promise you the majority of virgins you'll meet are virgins by choice - not because their moms have them chained to a metal post with their legs strapped shut. I've been racking my brain about questions and concerns and the million-dollar-question I have for y'all is: If it's no big deal to have sex, then why is it a big deal not to have sex? I mean really, whose business is it anyway?

I feel the criticism from my own doctor at times. She'd ask, "Are you sexually active?" I'd respond with a lightening fast "No", which she'd follow with a quick sigh and an even quicker response, "Have you ever been sexually active?" Unreal.

In a culture so consumed by "Netflix and chill" and the infamous right swipe, it's hard not to constantly wonder when (and with who) my time will come. It's almost like we're racing against the clock of chastity. I wonder if Marie Curie, Rosa Parks, or Amelia Earhart worried about who'd swipe their V-card as much as I do? Probably not, they were too busy making the world a better place.

I can't go a day without hearing about sex, talking about sex, or honestly... thinking about sex (sorry, dad). I remember a time when it was "shocking" to discover anybody was having sex and now it's "shocking" to discover anybody isn't. The reactions I get when people discover I still hold the key to my innocence aren't only mildly insulting but sad. When did it become shameful to be a virgin? I'm only 20 years old. I've only lived 1/4 of my life and in no means do I feel rushed to get down and dirty.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't plan for my life to go this way. Shocker, but my Magic 8-Ball didn't prepare me for this. I am a huge supporter of doing what you want, when you want, and with whom you want to do it with. Hell, half of my friends aren't virgins and I'm happy for them. They were with someone they loved (or at least liked) and made a choice. I've made a choice too. I am evolving with the world around me and taking life one wine bottle at a time. I don't want to settle for less than I deserve. I want somebody who loves me, respects me, and understands where I'm coming from.

I'm prepared to deal with the douchebags and the nobody losers who can't deal with the decision I've made equally as much as I'm prepared to meet the guy who can.

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.

Cover Image Credit: Bustle

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