If You've Had The Same F*ck Buddy For A Long Time, These 11 Feelings Will Seem Way Too Familiar To You

Having a friend with benefits is the staple of college relationships. Commitment is something a lot of college kids run away with fear from, but having someone who will always be there when you're down for a night on the sheets is a necessity.

For a lot of people, having a friend with benefits falls apart within a few months. Someone catches feelings, someone wants something more than the other, or things just all-in-all get really damn messy. This means the situation the two of you are in ends a lot quicker than you probably thought.

But for some of us, having a friend with benefits doesn't get messy, and can actually last a really long time. For anyone out there who has had the same FWB for a year (or two, like someone I know...), these feelings are some I'm sure you've felt time and time again.

1. Having someone who is always to hook up is the BEST.

I don't have to spend a bunch of time swiping on Tinder and awkwardly having conversations with only one purpose. All I have to do is send a couple texts and next thing you know he's over.

2. We've known each other for so long I could literally write a book about him, but yet I'm also 100% not taking him home for Thanksgiving.

We've been hanging out for so long and having random conversations about our life that I know where he's going to be working when he graduates, stuff about his family, and his favorite character from "The Office." But would I let him come to Thanksgiving dinner? Hell. No.

3. Constantly wondering how much different things would be if the two of you started dating.

Just a label, probably.

4. My neighbors have seen him over so often they probably think we are dating...

Having the same guy over every Friday and Saturday means every stranger in the nearby apartment is just going to go ahead and assume he's your boyfriend.

5. What is it like to have sex with someone other than them?

After having sex with the same person for so long, you begin to forget what it's like to hook up with different people. Which can be a good thing YES, but can also be kinda weird.

6. Aren't friends with benefits supposed to be messy?

Literally everyone told me to avoid getting an FWB at all costs because it'd be super messy and I'd catch feelings only to be let down. I like to think they were kind of wrong, because my relationship with my long-term friend with benefits is the farthest thing from messy. It's really amazing, actually.

7. When grandma asks me if I'm talking to any boys, do I tell her about him or no?

Is what we're doing worth noting to grandma at the dinner table because I'm gonna guess probably not...

8. We never actually put a label on our relationship, so what actually are we?!

We never officially said we're friends with benefits, so what exactly is our relationship? I guess this is the part where stuff can get messy...

9. Are they hooking up with anyone else?

Because we never put a label on things, we also never became exclusive. This means for all I know they could be spend their Thursday nights at some girl named Rachel's apartment doing the same thing we do at least once a week. It's an odd thought.

10. Do they think there's a potential for more between us?

Once again, this is where I can see things getting kind of messy, especially if we're not on the same page.

11. Should I hope for more between us?

After hooking up for two years and getting to know each other pretty damn well, I'm going to go ahead and assume if there was any hope for the two of us to be something more, it would've already happened.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Tumblr Is Specifically Targeting Women By Banning Porn

Tumblr's male CEO Jeff D'Onofrio belief that, "there are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content" is just as privileged as he is.


If you've logged into your middle school Tumblr recently, you'd notice that Tumblr is still the same place you remember. Perhaps stuck in a bit of a time warp, it's still full of fanfiction, fan pages, basic white girl stuff, and porn. A lot of porn.

Tumblr announced Monday, December 3 that all adult content AKA pornography will no longer be allowed on the site.

Excuse me. What?

First, Tumblr have you forgotten that porn and thinspiration blogs are what made you famous? Tumblr has always been the "legit" version of the dark dim part of the internet.

Jeff D'Onofrio, Tumblr's white, male CEO said this in the announcement blog post:

"Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content. We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community."

Jeff—I'm here to tell you that you are incorrect.

As a woman, I never felt like it was acceptable to view porn. PornHub and sites like it were not an option.

It was Tumblr that introduced me and many of my friends to "tasteful," soft pornography. For myself and many other women I know, they still felt safe viewing porn on Tumblr.

Tumblr does not fill the same niche as PornHub.

Adult content on Tumblr is as wide-reaching as the mind. D'Onofrio said himself, "Tumblr has always been a place for wide open, creative self-expression at the heart of community and culture."

I hate to break it to you, but adult content is culture.

Tumblr was a place where folks could find their sexual identity. Stumble into kinks and fetishes that they never knew existed.

Tumblr is shamming every woman that found their sexuality on the platform.

By banning adult content, Tumblr is saying, "Hey Women! The content that you found sexually freeing is wrong, it doesn't belong here, and you should go find it somewhere else. We don't care if we're taking away your community."

Sex workers are concerned about the impact on their lives as well.

To be clear, Tumblr should do its best to limit illegal and underage pornography. But, let's not throw out the champagne with the cork.

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Pelvic Floor Dysfunction Is More Common Than You Think And It's The Reason Sex Can Be So Painful

Pelvic Floor what?


Losing your virginity comes with a flood of different emotions like excitement, fear, happiness, oh, and pain. Wow did you not expect the pain, but you heard it's supposed to hurt a lot less the second time, and every other time after.

Only, for you, it's painful every single time, you tense up and don't know why. Your partner tells you just to relax, but it's not that easy, and it feels like it's something you can't control. Why does this happen? I might just have an answer for it, and a way to make it better.

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. Pelvic what now?

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, according to a blog written by the Florida Hospital, "refers to a wide range of disorders that occur when muscles of the pelvic floor are weak, tight or torn." Ouch. The pelvic floor muscles keep your organs in place, and when they are weakened, you can develop PFD. The range of symptoms can go from the strong frequent urge to urinate, painful periods and difficulty with going a number two. The symptom I found most surprising was painful intercourse.

This isn't something my gyno ever talked to me about or even my regular doctor. I literally just found out this existed, and it makes a lot of sense in terms of the issues a lot of women, in particular, have with their sex lives.

Definitely do not pull a me and self-diagnose, talk to your gyno. I have researched a good chunk of ways that this issue can be fixed, or at least made more bearable. We deserve a sex life that doesn't involve pain to the extent we experience it, it's time to be liberated ladies!

Try doing yoga. Three out of four women surveyed said their sex lives improved in all aspects due to doing yoga. Yoga relaxes you, which is where the benefits of a better sex life come from. You can try yoga in a class, or even watch a video on Youtube and teach yourself.

Kegel exercises are another thing to try. Kegel is when you contract and relax the muscles of your pelvic floor, where your uterus and bladder are held in place. The goal is to give your muscles a toned effect, and this can result in reducing pain (yay) during sex, being aware of yourself climaxing/ having a better orgasm (HELLO) and helping with urinary incontinence too. The basics are pretending you're holding your pee when you really have to go. Do this for two to three seconds on an empty bladder and then release. Once you get the hang of it, do about five sets of ten reps a day, and await the improvements.

There is also pelvic floor physical therapy you can try. The International Society for Sexual Medicine says you are "taught how to contract and relax pelvic floor muscles in relation to other muscles and breathing and timing techniques to make the exercises more effective. These exercises can stretch tight muscles, strengthen weak ones, and improve flexibility." Other forms of therapy include self-education, manual therapy, pelvic floor biofeedback, electronic simulation, and vaginal dilators. I know some of those terms sound like a foreign language, so I'm linking the website for you all to check out.

In terms of sex positions, it's honestly up to you and how you feel. Experiment with what feels good and what doesn't feel so good. If you have a solid man in your life, he'll do whatever he can to make sure you feel the best you can. Use a pillow under your pelvis and have him hit it from behind, because sis, it makes the world of a difference compared to the lovely standard missionary. That's something I've heard helps. Cosmopolitan has done a fabulous job of listing five positions you should try if sex hurts, and I hope they work and feel as great as they look.

To all my ladies who experience painful sex on the regular, I feel you, and we deserve better. Talk to your gyno about what you're experiencing, and don't let any guy tell you to "relax and stop tensing up." Have some great sex!

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