Today Selena Gomez released her new single, "Lose You To Love Me," and I've never related to anything more. Love, loving someone, being in love, aren't always what they should be — especially when there are clear red flags. But, saying goodbye feels impossible.

I never ever thought I would have to let someone I cared about go, but once I did, I realized something.

I finally found myself.

Who I am. What I'm worth. What I deserve. And how much I can and do love myself.

I was in a four-year relationship and it was my everything. He "promised the world and I fell for it." It was to the point that I wasn't even my own individual person. I was a girlfriend and that's what I lived for. I didn't think it was wrong, but it was. It wasn't love.

At least, it wasn't true, real, hopeful love. It was an attachment and I ignored all the times he made me cry or made me feel unloved. He wasn't going to change for me no matter how hard I tried.

Once it was over, I felt like a fool. A heart-broken fool.

I didn't know who I was without him. As Selena's words go, he "set fire to my purpose, and I let it burn." Today, thinking about that part of myself in the relationship honestly disgusts me. I can't imagine who I am with him and I am so much better off.

If I never lost him, I may have never learned to love myself. I had to build myself back up, including learning how to put myself first. The months after, sucked, but I look back and am so thankful. Every day, I learned a little bit more of what I want. In a man, in life, in myself. I hung out with friends, did things I always wanted to do, met new people, and explored the world.

I was a free, single lady!

I've grown into a confident woman that I am so proud of. I've learned that a partner should motivate you to love yourself more and never take that away from you.

I'll lose someone all over again if it means I get to love myself.

Selena Gomez - Lose You To Love Me www.youtube.com

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