I Thought I’d Lose My Man To The Frat Boy Life, But Going Greek Only Made Me Love Him More

I Thought I’d Lose My Man To The Frat Boy Life, But Going Greek Only Made Me Love Him More

I spent nights Googling and getting crappy answers so here it is straight and true.

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I went into college with my boyfriend of one year and the idea that I was not going to go through recruitment and that he was not anywhere near being a frat guy.

That's what I thought.

What you think isn't always reality though. On one of the first nights on campus, the whole school had a party and of course, the fraternity and sorority members were out and about prowling for new members.

While I clung tight to my two new roommates, who were actually going through recruitment, my boyfriend decided to hang out with his roommate and talk with his fraternity brothers.

In one night I went from having a happy relationship to thinking I was going to lose my boyfriend to his new fraternity. I didn't know that he was interested in fraternities—he had never said anything about it before then on a dime decided to sign a bid.

I was mad. I was upset and I was hurt. I facing the idea that this "thing," his new fraternity, was going to destroy the best relationship in my life and leave me at college with no one. I was lost. I had no idea that he would turn on me like that or not think to share such an idea as big as joining Greek life with me.

I was so upset that I called my mom and begged to go through recruitment because I thought that would bring me closer to him and then we could stay together.

Needless to say, it was a very last minute decision since the recruitment application was due in maybe two hours so she said no. My dad caught wind of it and even offered to drive back to come to get me. This was a big issue and it was so hard to watch my boyfriend not understand why.

I wanted to be a supportive girlfriend so I just stood by and watched him meet his soon-to-be brothers, I watched him go to rush events and I watched him sign his bid. I watched him live this whole other life without me.

I had searched and searched online things like "Will my boyfriend leave me when he joins a fraternity," "do relationships last when he's in Greek life and you are not" and so many others I cannot remember.

The internet was riddled with dated, horrible advice about breaking up. They all said that your relationship won't last because he will be at parties with other girls, he has brothers now and that will matter more, I even saw things posted by girls about their long-term boyfriends who left them after they went Greek.

The worst thing I saw was a post that said: "if he winds up cheating, don't bother asking his brothers or hoping they will stand up and tell you because they are his brothers first and they won't even try to tell you."

That dug deep and it really hurt, I still think about it to this day.

You came here for an answer though, and here it is—you will be fine. When I said he lived a life without me, that was all in my head. In reality, his brothers invited me to their lunch with him when he signed his bid, I was there to see him sign it and take pictures and I was there for parties.

I was there when he ran for exec in his chapter and I was there for his sporting events. He was there for me too. At the time, I acted cold to him because I thought that would make the breakup easier when in turn, it made it seem like I was breaking up with him which worried him. We had a talk and found out we were expecting the worst from the other and obviously, we didn't want that.

Over these three years that he has been a member I have watched him grow and flourish into such an amazing man and I am so proud.

I have also become good friends with a number of his brothers and their girlfriends. He made sure that not only he had a home in his letters, but so did I. I know my story isn't what always happens, but we cared so deeply for one another and wanted the best that a talk or two later we are still here almost four years later and hopefully many more (knock on wood).

I bought a custom shirt with his letters on it for my birthday and I buy so much gear with his letters it is crazy, especially since I have my own. I wore his letters before I knew what it meant to have letters of my own and I always find pride in wearing them. Oh, and one other thing, I was there when his chapter was chartered. It was such a huge accomplishment and I got to be there for it.

He may go Greek, you may go Greek, you both might, it doesn't matter. If you care enough and are willing to work it out, your relationship will be waiting for you on the other side.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

If You Loved The Wrong Person That Much, Imagine How Much You Could Love The Right Person

You fell in love with the wrong person, sweetie. But, it isn't the end of your love story — this is only the beginning.

mrene38
mrene38
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Love.

We all crave, wish, hope, and pray for it.

If you're like me, you've been planning your wedding from a young age. I've always imagined what it would be like when my "Prince Charming" finally waltzed his way into my life. Eventually, he did, or at least I thought he did.

I fell in love with whom I believed was my "Prince Charming," Ross to my Rachel, Augustus Waters to my Hazel Grace, Jim to my Pam. You name it, I believed it. I truly saw myself spending the rest of my life with this man. I loved him with every piece of me. I trusted him with my heart, but he broke all of that. I truly believed he put the stars in the sky.

Sadly, I was wrong. So. Wrong.

I, of course, would have done anything for this man. I was head over heels in love and just wanted to make him happy. I loved him so much. However, after he broke the trust that we had built and decided that he no longer loved me, that all vanished. I was left questioning what I did wrong? What did I do to deserve this? All I did was give you love and shower you with it. I did everything for you.

Then, the answer hit me. I didn't do anything wrong. In fact, I did everything right.

See, the thing is, when you are loving the person who you think you are supposed to be with at the end of the day, all you are doing is wasting your time. The person that you are meant to be with will look past your flaws and fall in love with them. You won't have to ask the person that you are supposed to be with for him/her to spend time with you, to prioritize you, to act like they truly want to be in your life. You won't have to ask the person that you are supposed to be with to love you, because they will do it unconditionally, just like how you did with the wrong person.

When you love the wrong person wholeheartedly, you never seem to win. You are always doing something wrong in the end. It's always your fault, isn't it? No matter how hard you try, how many kisses you shower them with, how much time you devote to them out of your schedule, it's still not enough. But why can't you win when you sacrifice so much for this one person? Aren't you supposed to be in love? Yes, YOU love them with your entire heart, but why can't you receive the same love and respect back?

Because you are not meant to be.

Those that you are not meant to be with will never see your worth. They will never appreciate you for the amazing, independent, strong, beautiful, and courageous person that you are. However, the person that you are meant to love wholeheartedly will, and they will do whatever it takes to show you your worth. They will love you for you and never make you question why you always seem to love more than your significant other does.

So, trust me, sweetheart, when I say you're meant to be will find their way to you. Maybe they already have and you don't even know it. Just have patience and love yourself, because when you fall in love with yourself, you will have so much more love to give to the right person.

Your right person is out there. We all have and deserve a Ross to our Rachel, an Augustus Waters to our Hazel Grace, a Jim to our Pam. So, straighten your head and hold it up high because your crown is tilting.

mrene38
mrene38

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Subtle Ways You May Be Disrespecting Your Friend's Relationship

If they make your friend happy, you shouldn't be doing these things.

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No ones significant other wants to tell them they don't like their friends. And trying to tell anyone not to hang out with the people they're closest too is a disaster waiting to happen.

Some people really just don't like their friend's partner, but others have no idea the damage they may be doing to the relationship. If you are more aware of some things to avoid, hopefully, you, your friend, and their partner can all get along in peace.

1. When you see your friend, make sure to acknowledge their partner.

To be honest, this is a basic courtesy. If you go to say hi to anyone in a group of people, it is polite to greet, or at least acknowledge, everyone there. If you completely ignore that your friend's partner is even there, it will make them feel awkward and neglected. Just say hi.

2. Don't be overly touchy-feely with your friend, especially around their partner.

Obviously, this mostly applies to friends of the opposite sex (for heterosexual couples). Look, there is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex but just know your boundaries. You may think your friend's partner is being jealous for no reason, but are you doing anything that might make them uncomfortable?

You don't need to always have your arm around them or be leaned up against them. It is really inappropriate to kiss them on the cheek or give them super long hugs, even if that is something you did before they had a partner, and even if it is completely platonic.

You can still hug and be close to your friend, just be respectful of their boundaries. If you don't give their partner any reason to be jealous then they will have no basis to dislike you.

3. If you invite your friend somewhere, it is polite to also invite their partner.

Even if you assume your friend's partner is going to come, it is nice to make them feel welcomed. And if you don't want their partner to come, make sure they are not together or planning to be together when you invite your friend.

You don't have to always have their partner around, but don't make it a habit of not inviting them. If they don't feel welcomed around their partner's friends, then they probably won't feel as confident in their relationship.

4. Don't ever bring up your friend's past relationships, especially around their partner.

Even if they are on good terms. Even if you are still friends with their ex. Just don't bring them up. No one wants to hear about their partner's past relationships or flings. It is embarrassing and uncomfortable to have to hear about your partner's exes.

5. If you are all out together, don't try to separate your friend from their partner.

There is a good chance that if you are out with your friend and their partner, their partner does not know many people there. If that is the case, don't try to separate your friend from their partner.

There may be an exception if their partner has friends around too, or if they are outgoing and can talk to anybody easily, but otherwise, it is really awkward to be in that situation alone. They are with their partner for a reason, and it is nice to make their partner feel included as well.

Just don't make it a habit to always pull your friend away.

6. Don't put your friend in any awkward or risky situations.

If your friend is a cheater, that is not really any fault of yours. But don't be the friend who is known for putting your partnered friend in risky situations.

There is nothing wrong with going out occasionally with your friends, but it does not need to be a regular occurrence, especially if it makes their partner uncomfortable.

Along the same lines, if you know an ex-partner or fling will be there, you don't need to put your friend in that awkward situation. Just be aware of the situation and how it might make their partner feel.

To wrap up, you don't need to completely change your relationship with your friend just to make their partner happy; just make sure to be polite and respectful of their partner and their relationship.

These are some subtle things you may be doing that are hurting your friend's relationship that you don't even realize have negative consequences. Simply be more aware of some of these situations and how they could potentially make your friend's partner feel. After all, the best relationships are the ones where your partner's friends also become your friends.

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