I Lost My Best Friend Because I Tried To Intervene In Her Relationship

I Lost My Best Friend Because I Tried To Intervene In Her Relationship

What he was doing to her it wasn’t love, it was abuse.
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One of the reasons I love college so much is because of all the new people you meet. Whether it’s just someone you talk to in class or someone who becomes one of your greatest friends.

I was really thankful that college brought me my best friend, something I hadn’t really had most of my life.

When she asked if we wanted to get an apartment together I was so excited, instead of trekking halfway across campus to try and hang out in one of our dorms we would be living/doing everything together.

The first couple months were great, living with your best friend is one of the best things to do in college. But shortly after things went downhill when her boyfriend decided to move in without asking me or our other roommates.

I knew her boyfriend our freshman year of college, they'd always invite me out with them. He seemed like a nice guy so I didn’t think much of him being there. But I never knew how accurate the saying “you never really know someone until you live with them” really was.

Soon he was over even when she wasn’t, he would have her keys more than she did, he would try and cause issues between all of our roommates, he would create big messes and never clean them up, he would literally yell as loud as he could at 2 a.m.

But that wasn’t what bothered me the most.

Sure he was annoying, but the way he talked to my best friend is where I drew the line.

My room was the farthest from hers and even I could hear him screaming at her and hitting things.

“You’re such a bitch.”

“You’re really going to lock me out of MY room?”

“Let me in this f*cking room!”

“You’re just going to lock yourself in there again?”

All while banging on the door or hitting things in her room.

I couldn’t believe this was happening, what could I do? What was he going to do? Was he going to hit her? Had he hit her?

Shortly after it would turn into him begging for her forgiveness and saying he was sorry and that he loved her so much. What he was doing to her wasn’t love, it was abuse.

My roommates couldn’t handle living with him anymore, and frankly neither could I. The only thing I could do at that point to try and help her was trying to reason with her and make her see what he was doing to her. I tried to tell her how verbally and emotionally abusive he was to her, how she doesn’t deserve that, how she shouldn’t be treated like garbage by someone who claims to love her.

But the issue with him was that he tried controlling everything about her, including the way she thinks.

After I tried explaining to her how abusive he actually was, she never talked to me again. My other roommates and I moved out and we went our separate ways. I notified our apartment manager of the situation, but she said my friend was an adult and had to make her own decisions, and I couldn’t force her to see what she didn’t want to see.

I wonder if she’s still with him. I wonder if he’s still as mean to her as he used to be. I wonder if he’s gotten worse. I wish so desperately she was finally able to see that she deserved better and decided to move on. I wish there was something more I could have done.

Even though I miss her, what kind of friend would I have been if I hadn’t said anything? Just sat there and let her think what he was doing was okay? Even though I lost my best friend for trying to intervene, I knew I had to. Even if she doesn’t see it today, I hope someday she does see it and it gives her the courage to leave him.

To the girl who used to be my best friend, if somehow you’re reading this I hope you’re okay. I miss you and I hope you’re happy. I hope you’re being treated the way you deserve.

Cover Image Credit: The Hills

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Once You Become My Ex, Please Know I Never Want Another Text From You Again

Block my number. I've already blocked yours.

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Growing up, it was always super important to me to end a relationship on good terms, at least as best as I could. I was friends with pretty much all of my exes, whether we talked frequently or not. It just made things easier in a small town with one high school.

I had it all wrong, though.

The truth is, I don't want to be your friend if we break up. Hell, I don't even want you to text me. There's no reason for it.

Be up in arms all you want at the "pettiness" or "drama" of this if that's what you want to do, I don't really care either way. Each relationship I've experienced in my lifetime has a specific place in my past, but that's exactly where they'll stay: my past. Every ex has their own designated chapter in a closed book.

When you end on terms that are even remotely OK, it's easy to stay checked in into each other's lives, whether that's texting or following them on social media. Something reminds you of them and you both text and reminisce about it, you congratulate them on a Facebook post, you watch their Snapchat and Instagram stories.

I don't care if you think we ended on good terms or not, don't check up on me. Don't tell me you hope I'm doing well. Don't try to contact me at all, frankly.

We're not friends. We were a couple, but now we're not. Any form of a relationship between the two of us ceased to exist the moment we ended our relationship. I'm not in high school anymore, I'm not still in that small town. I don't need to be your friend and keep up appearances to ensure the friend group still feels like nothing's really changed or to make everyone feel comfortable when we're both around.

So who are we kidding? There's just no reason for you to interact with me in any capacity. I don't need to be checked up on. I don't need you to text me for any reason, ever. Trust me, I'm doing just fine.

To all of my exes, you've held a significant place in my life, sure.

But your friendship isn't crucial to my happiness anymore.

I learned how to be just fine without you, so it's time for you to do the same.

I don't need the pleasantries, so just forget them. It's fine and all that maybe they matter to you, but they don't to me. I can promise you that I don't want to hear from you. I don't want to know how you've been, I don't want to know what you've been up to.

I've moved on. I don't need you in my life anymore, and frankly, I don't want you in it. I don't need to be your friend. So don't follow me on Twitter, delete me from your Snapchat, and block my number. I've already blocked yours.

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To My Best Friend Dealing With A Broken Heart, We'll Get Through This Together

I can't actually fill that void.

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To my best friend dealing with a broken heart,

It won't last forever.

Your heart, scratch that—you—will heal. You're already strong, but you'll become tougher. You're already smart, but you'll become wiser. You're already sexy, but you'll become even more irresistible.

And I'll be here the entire time. I can't wait to see who you become.

It won't be easy. I'm not going to sugar coat it and say that you'll be smiling and confidently strutting the streets by tomorrow. You have everything you need, but if your heart needs some time, take it. There's no rulebook. Honestly, I don't know how I got out of my rut, but I did and now I'm here. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I cried on end, but my support group–you–helped me through it one day at a time. Don't stress about what other people think—even me, forget my thoughts! Focus on you. What does your body need? What does your soul need?

I'm sorry. I wish I could take away this pain.

There's nothing that can compare to this feeling and I know I can't actually fill that void—no one can, other than you.

You never think it'll happen to you.

You had the future planned out. You shared your deepest darkest secrets. You both shared, I love you's and genuinely meant it. Of course, there were happy times. It was all real. I won't bash your ex unless you need me to (personally, I cringe anytime someone speaks badly of my ex... at the end of the day, I loved that man) but, just know, you did everything you could.

It wasn't meant to be and, one day, you will find your happily ever after. That love will be greater than anything you can ever imagine.

I'm not going to sit here and let you mope. The memories will never fade, but at this moment, forget about the past and the future, only the now. If you are angry, punch a wall, but steer away from feeling regret. Nothing in life is worth regretting over. It is all lessons-learned and adventures to remember later on.

This will pass and you will laugh about it. When I heard that for the first time, I wanted to scream, I could never laugh at the situation, but here I am now. You lost someone and that's never easy, but you've also gained so much experience.

You are gorgeous and breathtaking, you better start believing it because anyone would be so lucky to have you in their life.

Today, you start loving yourself.

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