I Lost My Best Friend Because I Tried To Intervene In Her Relationship

I Lost My Best Friend Because I Tried To Intervene In Her Relationship

What he was doing to her it wasn’t love, it was abuse.
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One of the reasons I love college so much is because of all the new people you meet. Whether it’s just someone you talk to in class or someone who becomes one of your greatest friends.

I was really thankful that college brought me my best friend, something I hadn’t really had most of my life.

When she asked if we wanted to get an apartment together I was so excited, instead of trekking halfway across campus to try and hang out in one of our dorms we would be living/doing everything together.

The first couple months were great, living with your best friend is one of the best things to do in college. But shortly after things went downhill when her boyfriend decided to move in without asking me or our other roommates.

I knew her boyfriend our freshman year of college, they'd always invite me out with them. He seemed like a nice guy so I didn’t think much of him being there. But I never knew how accurate the saying “you never really know someone until you live with them” really was.

Soon he was over even when she wasn’t, he would have her keys more than she did, he would try and cause issues between all of our roommates, he would create big messes and never clean them up, he would literally yell as loud as he could at 2 a.m.

But that wasn’t what bothered me the most.

Sure he was annoying, but the way he talked to my best friend is where I drew the line.

My room was the farthest from hers and even I could hear him screaming at her and hitting things.

“You’re such a bitch.”

“You’re really going to lock me out of MY room?”

“Let me in this f*cking room!”

“You’re just going to lock yourself in there again?”

All while banging on the door or hitting things in her room.

I couldn’t believe this was happening, what could I do? What was he going to do? Was he going to hit her? Had he hit her?

Shortly after it would turn into him begging for her forgiveness and saying he was sorry and that he loved her so much. What he was doing to her wasn’t love, it was abuse.

My roommates couldn’t handle living with him anymore, and frankly neither could I. The only thing I could do at that point to try and help her was trying to reason with her and make her see what he was doing to her. I tried to tell her how verbally and emotionally abusive he was to her, how she doesn’t deserve that, how she shouldn’t be treated like garbage by someone who claims to love her.

But the issue with him was that he tried controlling everything about her, including the way she thinks.

After I tried explaining to her how abusive he actually was, she never talked to me again. My other roommates and I moved out and we went our separate ways. I notified our apartment manager of the situation, but she said my friend was an adult and had to make her own decisions, and I couldn’t force her to see what she didn’t want to see.

I wonder if she’s still with him. I wonder if he’s still as mean to her as he used to be. I wonder if he’s gotten worse. I wish so desperately she was finally able to see that she deserved better and decided to move on. I wish there was something more I could have done.

Even though I miss her, what kind of friend would I have been if I hadn’t said anything? Just sat there and let her think what he was doing was okay? Even though I lost my best friend for trying to intervene, I knew I had to. Even if she doesn’t see it today, I hope someday she does see it and it gives her the courage to leave him.

To the girl who used to be my best friend, if somehow you’re reading this I hope you’re okay. I miss you and I hope you’re happy. I hope you’re being treated the way you deserve.

Cover Image Credit: The Hills

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

20 Feelings You Probably Still Have When You See Your Ex

It's never really over.

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Getting over an ex and moving on is HARD. We all felt at least one of these feelings:

1. You changed me 

2. You hurt me 

3. I still care, always will. 

4. I hate myself for caring still 

5. I still think of you 

6. I hate myself for thinking of you 

7. I know you are happier without me, and that hurts. 

8. I still feel like you are the one 

9. I want you back in my life

10. I don't want you back, I just miss the memories, I'm hurt. 

11. I wish you knew how I still cry over you 

12. You broke my heart and you don't even care 

13. I wonder if you even think of me

14. I will never find love because of you 

15. I feel damaged 

16. I don't want to fall in love anymore 

17. I would rather feel nothing 

18. I feel like I'm drowning in my own tears every time I see you

19. I want to be happy again, let me free, please. 

20. I deserve better, but you could of just been..BETTER. 

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10 Guys Admit The Moment They Realized Their Relationship Was Doomed

If you know, you know.

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views

It's not breaking news that you can just tell when your relationship is going downhill. Whether it's a mood change, a lack of wanting to be around each other, or a blatant fight, the signs are everywhere.

I sent out a survey asking guys to confess when they realized their relationship was bound to fail. Not necessarily a time stamp in the relationship duration where they realized this, but a realization that was prompted by something happening.

This is what they had to say.

1. The little things

"When she stopped smiling in our pictures."

2. Pretty obvious

"When she told me she wanted to break up with me."

3. Friends come first

"She made every excuse under the sun for not being able to be around when my friends were around and refused to meet my family, even after we'd been a thing for almost six months. Whenever I finally asked her about it, she changed the subject and adamantly refused to talk about it. So, I told her if she didn't want to meet my family yet, that was one thing. But if I had to choose between her or my friends, my friends win every time. So, we broke up."

4. Might want a restraining order

"When she broke into my home and I was woken up to her crying and yelling at me."

5. Red flags

"Talking to my partner started to fill me with dread and anxiety, texting was always just a series of miscommunications and fights and we only ever got along in person. There were so many flags that we were incompatible that I ignored throughout the relationship that all coalesced into a massive weight on my chest. Complaining to a close friend and hearing their advice was what finally tipped me off that waiting for things to change was going to get me absolutely nowhere, so I finally broke it off."

6. Communication is key

"Lack of respectful communication."

7. Hindsight is 20/20

"When she stopped texting me very often. The signs were there before but I was oblivious. 20/20 hindsight I guess."

8. Feeling's mutual

"My last relationship only ended because of long distance problems, and because I had to move. It was a mutual agreement."

9. Not enough time

"Neither of us had enough time for the other."

10. Not the right fit

"Our personalities really clashed. She kept participating in activities I wasn't really happy about and we fought about it a lot. We used to get along and be able to have a good time, but something happened I guess. She became a different person."

Responses have been edited for length or clarity.

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