I know I said I was done with dating, but as I just passed my three year mark in my relationship with Emily, and since Christmas sparks a little romance in almost everyone, I thought I would write on love. So, without further ado, let's get started.
Can love last forever?
No.
At least not in the sense that we like to think of it. Will the butterflies, and happiness, and gushy feeling you get in your stomach when you see them last forever, no it won't. However, after these feelings phase is when it becomes real love. See the honeymoon phase is almost always involuntary. The feelings that come upon you are out of your control. You're excited to see them, and everything they do is near perfect, and they are the most amazing people ever to bless this earth. Or at least that's how I felt when Emily and I started dating. She was the bee's knees let me tell you, and just a wonderful person to be around all the time.
And to be clear, three years later, I still think that about her. But now it is about choice. See the honeymoon phase in a relationship is not only involuntary, but it fades, sometimes in a couple months, sometimes in a couple years, but at some point the "romance" ebbs and weans. But like I said, that's where the real romance starts. Instead of just being overwhelmed by feelings of happiness when I was around her and letting those feelings dictate our relationship, we chose to let real love take over. The kind of love that stays through thick and thin. The kind of love that builds the other person up no matter the cost to you. The beautiful love where she knows my faults, and all the ways I've let her down, but she still chooses me.
See feelings make relationships begin, choices make relationships last. Love is not something that happens to you. It is a choice you make. Think I'm playing? Ask your mom how many times she wanted to kill you growing up, but didn't. Yeah you were cute as a baby, but then you sassed her and everything changed. The analogy can kind of relate; it's not perfect, but the point is made.
A good piece of advice I have if you see someone loving you this way; DO NOT QUESTION IT!
If you see someone laying down and sacrificing for you regularly, the care for you, so do not question it. I'm reminded of a time about a year into mine and Emily's relationship. We were talking about love, and I jokingly said something along the lines of, "You don't love me." I unknowingly hurt her deeply. She retreated to her room, and after I noticed she was gone, I found her there crying. She was hurt by the fact that I questioned her love. She was pouring herself out for our relationship at the time, and me saying that made it seem like I was dissatisfied with her efforts. I quickly apologized, and reconciled our relationship, but that moment taught me something. She was, and still is, very serious about our relationship, and I shouldn't doubt her love for me. She had done nothing then, and two years later she still hasn't done anything, to make me question her love for me, and I shouldn't take it lightly.
Take the honeymoon phase of relationships lightly, because they're supposed to be taken lightly, but once the love becomes a choice you make and not some mysterious force acting upon you, take every moment seriously. Of course, relax and have fun with that person, Emily and I laugh at each other all the time, but do not take the relationship for granted. Relationships are work; but they are worth it if they are done right.
As always, huge shoutout to Shelbi Renaldo for the pictures, and this time they're starring yours truly and the most beautiful woman on the planet! Anyways, give a like and a share if this could be helpful to someone else. Y'all be good.