If You Don't Love My Fat Body Like I Do, I'll Lose YOU—Not Pounds
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I am a fat woman.

There. I said it. Fat is a word many people are uncomfortable hearing. I don't think I've heard the word "fat" spoken in front of me for years. People are too terrified to hurt my feelings.

Why does fat have to be a bad thing? Well—it's tied to negative connotations—fat people are seen as lazy, ugly, disgusting, undisciplined and incapable.

I'm here to say that I'm sexy, beautiful and fucking capable.

The fat acceptance movement has reclaimed the word fat. Therefore, I try to use it in positive ways as often as possible. P.S. That doesn't mean its OK to use fat as an insult.

As my queen, RuPaul once said, "If you can't love yourself how the hell you gonna love someone else." I'm lucky to have a positive body image. It's never easy to find love for yourself.

It may surprise you to know that I don't have a hard time finding partners. You can read more about my sex life here. However, I'm here to say that I'm sick of potential partners' comments about my body.

If you're not attracted to me, don't pursue me.

Wow, a monumental idea. I don't flirt with folks that I'm not attracted to. If they aren't my type, I don't lead them on. Just to be clear, fat women are not "easy" or "for practice." We are people. Treat us like it.

The average woman is fat.

In case you haven't heard, the average woman is a size 16 to 18. She is a plus-sized goddess that probably struggles to find trendy clothes because brands still refuse to make clothing in our sizes. It's fine. I'm fine.

You deserve a partner that will respect your body.

This goes for everyone. You should have a partner that makes you feel like your body is perfect. To be clear perfection is not the absence of flaws. I don't want a photoshopped body. Impossibly beautiful is not my move. Perfection is being perfectly me. I can be that every day.

Lastly and most importantly—

Don't project your own insecurities on to your partner.

If you're insecure about dating a fat person, don't that project that on to them. If they love themselves, you should too.

If you're insecure about your own body image, then have some self-reflection time. It's not OK to not be OK. But remember not to project that onto other folks.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Cuffing Season May Have Ended But That Doesn't Mean My Shot At Love Has Gone With It

Hurt leads to happiness, never stop looking for it

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This time last month, I thought I'd met a guy who would put an end to my vacant cuffing season. He checked off every box on my list and created new ones to add to it. I was in a daze and things went fast and I was perfectly fine with that. Voices in one ear said be careful, while voices in another said go for it. I let my guard down, and I got played, it's as simple as that. He got what he was after. It stung and it still does. He took a part of me with him through the door, and I don't think I'll ever get that back.

I am still coping, but I'm better than I was when it happened just two weeks ago. I'm ready to get back up on my horse and ride the trail of single life confidently again. Some may say cuffing season is over, but I have to disagree. I refuse to give up on the search for a relationship and neither should you.

Some people find their person earlier than others, and while I am jealous of that, I have to remember to remind myself that there's someone out there for everyone. He's probably figuring out life, just like I am, maybe wondering where the girl of his dreams is. I'll never know what he's up to, but I'm sure he's probably going through or has gone through similar issues. If I give up, and consume myself with the fact that I always end up single and will be forever, I'll never get anywhere in life. I know my worth and the right person will see that and snatch me up. In the meantime, there is no need to just sit around and wait for him to show up.

I'm a work in progress waiting for the mechanic to oil me up and set me free. I'm free, but I want someone to be free with if that makes sense. Yes, I'm struggling with some self-image issues at the moment, but everyone has their struggles. I'm at peace with the woman I am and am proud of how far I've come in my almost twenty-one years I've been on this Earth. You and I, we don't need to be with anyone who's anything less than what we want.

You deserve the moon and the stars and everything that lies beyond. You are priceless, and don't let anyone make you feel differently. Relationships are meant to develop as their destined to, so forcing anything won't work in anyone's favor. That being said, be open and honest with who you talk to, and let yourself be hurt. Hurt leads to happiness, whether we see it that way at the moment or not.

I've had my moments of hoping that boy will message me again, professing how sorry he is, and asking for another chance. I'm a forgiving person, so I try and hear everyone out, even if it's against my better judgment. I know that this trial is just leading on to someone better, and I refuse to let myself give up because a few busybodies think cuffing season is over.

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Having A 'Talking Stage' Proves Why Millennials Just Suck At Dating

Because who actually "commits" in 2019?

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As a millennial who is currently in college, I've noticed that dating isn't how it used to be like back in 1995. We are the generation that can't live without our phones, are tech-savvy, and sadly, the ones who suck at dating.

This is not another bitter article because I "don't have a man," or I'm "jealous of what people have." In fact, I am actually in a good place and I am speaking on behalf of what I've seen. I'm tired of my friends coming up to me crying because their "man-who-isn't-really-their-man" isn't acting right.

I've seen more friends with benefits and flings rather than relationships.

Maybe I'm different, but I can't imagine just being around someone only to have sex. After a while, that gets extremely boring and if you have nothing else to offer, you just get "ghosted" instead of telling that person how you really feel.

See, in my opinion, that's the problem with this generation. Sex is considered meaningless now and it is basically easy to get. With all of these dating apps swirling around, it's almost impossible to avoid it. People would rather have meaningless sex than get to know a person and commit. It's like every time the word "commitment" or "relationship" is brought up, that person runs away. But they're so comfortable to have sex.

What really irritates me is that after two weeks, a lot of guys, in particular, get mad when a girl asks him to get rid of his "hoes" or "other girls he's talking to," but still expect a girl to drop their pants after talking to them for two hours.

That's another thing too. Let's talk about the "talking stage." So basically, by INFORMAL definition, the "talking stage" is basically when two people just TALK before dating. Did you make a face yet? Because that exists now. But seriously, talking about WHAT honestly? Don't you do that when you're I don't know, DATING? And even during the talking stage, people still have sex, which makes no sense to me. You guys aren't dating but you're not dealing with anyone else. In fact, they'll get mad when you're hooking up with someone else. And when you start to catch feelings, it ends with "Oh, I'm not ready for a relationship right now."

So what exactly are we doing then?

Wasting my time?

Imagine filling out a relationship status on a ballot or something and the options are; "single," "married," "widowed," or "we're talking." And no, that's not what "it's complicated" is for.

It's sad because I feel as if this generation forgot how to love again. There are many people who are currently in relationships who are lucky. But for the rest of this generation, people would rather bang it out then talk it out. And people would rather "talk" than "date." I mean, what's wrong with both? If you're happy with what you are doing, then do what ever you want girl! If you are in this situation and you're unhappy, then what exactly do you want? Attention is nice, but after a while, if that person isn't really fulfilling your needs, what's the point of being with them then?

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