If You Loved The Wrong Person That Much, Imagine How Much You Could Love The Right Person

If You Loved The Wrong Person That Much, Imagine How Much You Could Love The Right Person

You fell in love with the wrong person, sweetie. But, it isn't the end of your love story — this is only the beginning.

mrene38
mrene38
2627
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Love.

We all crave, wish, hope, and pray for it.

If you're like me, you've been planning your wedding from a young age. I've always imagined what it would be like when my "Prince Charming" finally waltzed his way into my life. Eventually, he did, or at least I thought he did.

I fell in love with whom I believed was my "Prince Charming," Ross to my Rachel, Augustus Waters to my Hazel Grace, Jim to my Pam. You name it, I believed it. I truly saw myself spending the rest of my life with this man. I loved him with every piece of me. I trusted him with my heart, but he broke all of that. I truly believed he put the stars in the sky.

Sadly, I was wrong. So. Wrong.

I, of course, would have done anything for this man. I was head over heels in love and just wanted to make him happy. I loved him so much. However, after he broke the trust that we had built and decided that he no longer loved me, that all vanished. I was left questioning what I did wrong? What did I do to deserve this? All I did was give you love and shower you with it. I did everything for you.

Then, the answer hit me. I didn't do anything wrong. In fact, I did everything right.

See, the thing is, when you are loving the person who you think you are supposed to be with at the end of the day, all you are doing is wasting your time. The person that you are meant to be with will look past your flaws and fall in love with them. You won't have to ask the person that you are supposed to be with for him/her to spend time with you, to prioritize you, to act like they truly want to be in your life. You won't have to ask the person that you are supposed to be with to love you, because they will do it unconditionally, just like how you did with the wrong person.

When you love the wrong person wholeheartedly, you never seem to win. You are always doing something wrong in the end. It's always your fault, isn't it? No matter how hard you try, how many kisses you shower them with, how much time you devote to them out of your schedule, it's still not enough. But why can't you win when you sacrifice so much for this one person? Aren't you supposed to be in love? Yes, YOU love them with your entire heart, but why can't you receive the same love and respect back?

Because you are not meant to be.

Those that you are not meant to be with will never see your worth. They will never appreciate you for the amazing, independent, strong, beautiful, and courageous person that you are. However, the person that you are meant to love wholeheartedly will, and they will do whatever it takes to show you your worth. They will love you for you and never make you question why you always seem to love more than your significant other does.

So, trust me, sweetheart, when I say you're meant to be will find their way to you. Maybe they already have and you don't even know it. Just have patience and love yourself, because when you fall in love with yourself, you will have so much more love to give to the right person.

Your right person is out there. We all have and deserve a Ross to our Rachel, an Augustus Waters to our Hazel Grace, a Jim to our Pam. So, straighten your head and hold it up high because your crown is tilting.

mrene38
mrene38

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

6 Things You Learn Living With Your Boyfriend For The First Time, All Within, Like, 500 Square Feet

Love is patient, love is kind.

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Last summer, my boyfriend and I were at a crossroads in our relationship.

At the time, we had been together for over a year and a half, and I had just made the decision to move seven hours away to Los Angeles to finish school. Realizing we didn't want to spend the next two years apart from each other, we made the huge decision to move in together in the new city.

While living with my partner has had its ups and downs, I've learned a lot about our relationship. Here are six of the biggest lessons I've learned while living with my boyfriend for the first time.

1. There is such a thing as too much time together.

Most of the time we can't get enough of each other, but there are times when we definitely need some alone time. Spending all hours of the day cuddling on the couch can feel super good sometimes, but in order to keep our relationship healthy, we have realized that it is important to have outside interests, hobbies, responsibilities, and friends. This just makes it so much sweeter to come back home to each other at the end of the day.

2. Our relationship won't always be "50-50."

In an ideal world, we would split all of our mutual responsibilities equally. However, the real world is messy, and sometimes one of us needs to pull more weight than the other. When I'm sick, my boyfriend has no problem doing the laundry and dishes and then lavishing me with back rubs in bed. And when he's working long hours or having a hard day, I will do the same for him. In the end, we both care and love for each other equally, and that's all that matters.

3. We have different ideas about cleanliness.

I'll admit, I'm a bit of a neat freak. My boyfriend is by no means a dirty person, but little things like leaving shoes and clothes lying around bother me a little more than they should. Part of living together has been learning to accept one another's natural tendencies, being patient, and compromising. While my boyfriend still has a tendency to leave things scattered about, he has learned to be more conscientious, and I have learned to relax (a little).

4. Having different schedules can be challenging.

While my days tend to begin pretty early in the mornings, my boyfriend works night shifts, so it can be difficult to schedule mutual activities together, particularly SLEEP. However, the longer we've been together, the better we've been able to accept these differences and work around them. I'm okay with the few hours cuddling in bed together each night, especially because I know this is only temporary.

5. Living together is surprisingly easy.

One of the best things I have found from living with my significant other is that it is actually REALLY EASY. Sometimes I'll hear those nightmare stories about couples who move in together, only to find out that their lifestyles aren't compatible at all. I've been really lucky to find someone who lives so harmoniously with me. For the most part, my boyfriend and I work perfectly together, and that's one of the ways I know he's a keeper.

6. Our relationship is only growing stronger.

Honestly, my boyfriend and I might as well be married already, because the more we learn about one another, the closer we become. I love living with my boyfriend, I love being with him, and I have a feeling that we'll be together forever. Cohabitation is a beautiful thing, and it's one of the most important ways to figure out or wants and needs in a relationship. I just feel lucky I've found my number one.

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If He Says 'You Make Me Want To Be A Better Person,' Remember It's NOT A Compliment

No one should be relying on another person to make them better people.

bethkrat
bethkrat
38
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A lot of us have been there; he smiles at you sweetly, gives you a look that could melt your heart, and you let yourself fall into the kindness.

He tells you, "you're such a good person; you make me want to be better."

Your heart is a flutter, you're drowning in the sickly sweetness of what you take as one of the nicest things someone has ever told you. It's so easy to read it as though it's an admirable thing for anyone to say, but the reality is, no one should be held liable for making you want to be a decent human being except yourself.

It's one thing for people to bring out the best in each other.

When you find your happy place in the company of the people you love most in life, that's one of the greatest things in the world. That example of the "bettering" of one another comes organically. But to only find a desire to be kinder, more selfless, more decent because another person is kind, selfless, and decent is putting way too much liability on the other person, and it means not taking responsibility for yourself.

By telling me that I'm the reason he wants to be a better person, he's putting me on a pedestal that I cannot possibly live up to all the time.

He's holding me liable for his desire to stop his negative behaviors rather than it coming from a true desire to be better. If being with me or around me is the only reason he's decided he needs to get his act together and start being a decent human being, I'm here to tell him that he should really reevaluate.

Because what happens when we break up?

What happens if we have a falling out for some reason or another, and I'm not longer in his life to "inspire" him to be better? His desire to be better disappears alongside me, because his desire never really came from his heart anyway. He go back to the same negative behavior that he had in the first place unless he came come to the realization that being a good person has to come from a real desire within.

I don't have the time to pander to people who can't take responsibility for their actions.

It shouldn't have to be my job to show anyone what being a decent human being looks like. His parents should have instilled that in him when they were raising him, and if not that, he should have been able to recognize elsewhere what kindness and decency looked like in other people so that he could emulate it himself. If he's a grown adult who says he didn't recognize what being good meant until he met you, that says more about him than it does about you.

The point of all of this is simple; it is an extremely important life lesson to learn that you are not responsible for anyone's actions and feelings except for your own.

You are not accountable for the decisions someone else makes, and that's the truth. No one is dating someone with the intent on raising him and teaching him how to behave or exist as a functionally member of society, and no one should have to.

I'm not saying it's a red flag to hear it. Often times it is said with good intentions and sometimes it is meant in the organic sort of way I mentioned before. But my advice if you're ever told this; think about it. Consider it a pink flag, one that makes you do some evaluating before you smile bigly and accept the comment as though it is a badge of honor.

Above all, hold people responsible for their own actions and don't let them make you feel responsible instead.

bethkrat
bethkrat

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