As an American guy, it has been ingrained in my brain by mainstream media and how I was raised to like when a woman wears lingerie. I mean, that's what it's made for, right? As we all know, Victoria's Secret is the front-runner of women's lingerie, with stores in just about every department mall in America. Sometimes, women go alone or take their friends or romantic partners with them. Victoria's Secret always unveils what's on the female's mind, but not on the average guy's mind.

Allow me to show you...

1. There are half-naked posters, everywhere...

Who is their target here? Females who don't feel like the picturesque models on display in-store? I might be a guy, but being surrounded by the image of half-naked women in public is uncomfortable, mainly because I'm surrounded by 100 fully-clothed women in the store.

2. There's SO... MUCH... PINK

Okay, I'm definitely not a woman or an interior designer. But pink accents, with pink furnishings, pink lighting on the outside, and pink displays everywhere is a little much, don't you think?

3. $39.99 for this lace top? Bruh.

Yes, women should pay $40 for HALF of a lingerie outfit that they are likely going to take off after 5-10 minutes anyway.

4. This stuff definitely isn't "heavy-duty"

What's better than paying for overpriced undergarments? Paying for overpriced undergarments that should have rip hazard warning tags on them. Thank God I'm a guy and all I'm expected to wear is... nothing.

5. What's up with this lighting?

So you walk in and you're blinded by 2894893 vanity lights, and have to dodge a minefield of them as you walk around the store. Seriously what's the point? This is a bra, panties, swimwear, and perfume store... not makeup.

6. Perfume with the power of a wrestler?

I'm strolling along and then I'm clotheslined by the power of the perfume being sprayed, in addition to all of the women coming in the store wearing the scents they are looking to buy. I can't be mad at people wanting to smell good, but we need some ventilation or something up in here.

7. Oh crap, every woman in here is looking at me

What is everyone thinking of me? Do they think I'm a perv just walking around in here not knowing I am musing for my article? Do they think it's sweet that I might be buying something for my non-existent girlfriend? The world may never know.

8. Where are my bros at?

So, not only am I the only guy in here but every girl seems to be with another girl. Do men never journey into this pink abyss? Or are all of these girls single? I'm sure not going to ask them.

9. *Jokingly holds up a bralette* "Oh yeah, I could make this work"

This must've been what all the girls meant by "embrace your feminine side," right?

10. Hold up. Who is Victoria? What is her secret?

But seriously, why aren't we talking about who Victoria is? I bet Victoria's secret is the secret to how Jennifer Aniston doesn't age. Probably not though.

11. Gender inequality is real.

It's pretty easy for a woman to stroll into Belk, Macy's, or JCPenney and get a pack of nice Polo briefs for her man. But for guys, this store is more awkward for us than 7th grade health class. What's up with that?

12. Guys are garbage.

Haha I spent $50 on my shoes, and maybe $30 for my shirt and shorts. Two full sets of bras and panties could set a woman back $100. Another way in the world guys have it easy, and I have never felt guiltier.

13. *Holds up a complicated piece of lingerie* "How does this technology work?"

Seriously, I'm cranking a lever and going through 382 hooks just to figure this thing out... it's probably best not to ask questions.

I've lingeried (haha get it, lingeried... it's a pun on lingered?) in here long enough, because I'm pretty sure the wonderful ladies at checkout have scoped me out top to bottom. May I never have to return to this confusing pink hell, but I applaud you ladies out there for enduring it all (whether it is for your partner or just to feel good about yourself).