What The Average Guy REALLY Thinks When He Walks Into Victoria's Secret
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As an American guy, it has been ingrained in my brain by mainstream media and how I was raised to like when a woman wears lingerie. I mean, that's what it's made for, right? As we all know, Victoria's Secret is the front-runner of women's lingerie, with stores in just about every department mall in America. Sometimes, women go alone or take their friends or romantic partners with them. Victoria's Secret always unveils what's on the female's mind, but not on the average guy's mind.

Allow me to show you...

1. There are half-naked posters, everywhere...

Who is their target here? Females who don't feel like the picturesque models on display in-store? I might be a guy, but being surrounded by the image of half-naked women in public is uncomfortable, mainly because I'm surrounded by 100 fully-clothed women in the store.

2. There's SO... MUCH... PINK

Okay, I'm definitely not a woman or an interior designer. But pink accents, with pink furnishings, pink lighting on the outside, and pink displays everywhere is a little much, don't you think?

3. $39.99 for this lace top? Bruh.

Yes, women should pay $40 for HALF of a lingerie outfit that they are likely going to take off after 5-10 minutes anyway.

4. This stuff definitely isn't "heavy-duty"

What's better than paying for overpriced undergarments? Paying for overpriced undergarments that should have rip hazard warning tags on them. Thank God I'm a guy and all I'm expected to wear is... nothing.

5. What's up with this lighting?

So you walk in and you're blinded by 2894893 vanity lights, and have to dodge a minefield of them as you walk around the store. Seriously what's the point? This is a bra, panties, swimwear, and perfume store... not makeup.

6. Perfume with the power of a wrestler?

I'm strolling along and then I'm clotheslined by the power of the perfume being sprayed, in addition to all of the women coming in the store wearing the scents they are looking to buy. I can't be mad at people wanting to smell good, but we need some ventilation or something up in here.

7. Oh crap, every woman in here is looking at me

What is everyone thinking of me? Do they think I'm a perv just walking around in here not knowing I am musing for my article? Do they think it's sweet that I might be buying something for my non-existent girlfriend? The world may never know.

8. Where are my bros at?

So, not only am I the only guy in here but every girl seems to be with another girl. Do men never journey into this pink abyss? Or are all of these girls single? I'm sure not going to ask them.

9. *Jokingly holds up a bralette* "Oh yeah, I could make this work"

This must've been what all the girls meant by "embrace your feminine side," right?

10. Hold up. Who is Victoria? What is her secret?

But seriously, why aren't we talking about who Victoria is? I bet Victoria's secret is the secret to how Jennifer Aniston doesn't age. Probably not though.

11. Gender inequality is real.

It's pretty easy for a woman to stroll into Belk, Macy's, or JCPenney and get a pack of nice Polo briefs for her man. But for guys, this store is more awkward for us than 7th grade health class. What's up with that?

12. Guys are garbage.

Haha I spent $50 on my shoes, and maybe $30 for my shirt and shorts. Two full sets of bras and panties could set a woman back $100. Another way in the world guys have it easy, and I have never felt guiltier.

13. *Holds up a complicated piece of lingerie* "How does this technology work?"

Seriously, I'm cranking a lever and going through 382 hooks just to figure this thing out... it's probably best not to ask questions.

I've lingeried (haha get it, lingeried... it's a pun on lingered?) in here long enough, because I'm pretty sure the wonderful ladies at checkout have scoped me out top to bottom. May I never have to return to this confusing pink hell, but I applaud you ladies out there for enduring it all (whether it is for your partner or just to feel good about yourself).

Cover Image Credit:

www.instagram.com/victoriassecret

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Things Every Couple Must Complete On Their Bucket List Before They Die

If you're interested in doing sexual things that are more outside of the box, here's an intricate list of things every couple should check off their sexual bucket list before they die.

Dr King
Dr King
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In my personal experience, I noticed that conversations centered around sexual exploration are talked about in terms of what we've already done. Countless times I've played the game "Never Have I Ever" to break the ice and find out what other people have done. Even then people mostly want to know who has done butt stuff, who have had threesomes, and who has hooked up with a certain amount of people already. However, we rarely talk about all the sexual things we'd like to embark in and even when we do, it's usually kind of basic or standard.

If you're interested in doing sexual things that are more outside of the box, here's an intricate list of things every couple should check off their sexual bucket list before they die.

1. Use weed lube

Foria Pleasure's enhancement product made of cannabis oil and coconut oil provides women with mind-blowing and longer lasting orgasms. The increasing popularity of the product has gotten featured on Cosmo, PopSugar, and VICE.

2. Have a sex marathon at the Secluded Intown Treehouse Airbnb

This Airbnb in Atlanta is the #1 most-wished listing worldwide and makes for gorgeous scenery considering you're surrounded by nature. The bed is centered directly in front of the best view of its lush woods so it would be insane not to use that to your advantage and have a marathon sex session to become one with your partner and the environment.

3. Kiss in front of the Eiffel Tower

What's sex without a little romance as well? If you can afford a romantic getaway to Paris which is arguably the most romantic city in the world, make sure to kiss in front of the Eiffel Tower as a mechanism for emotional foreplay.

4. Join the Mile High Club

If you're up for something daring, have sex with your partner while you're both on a plane. One of you can head straight there as the other follows about five minutes later. Then one of you can bend the other over the sink and keep going until you're both finished. To eliminate the risk of looking too suspicious, I would at least encourage for this to be done while most people are sleeping so that people aren't wondering why the bathroom is being occupied for so long.

5. Attend a sex party

This doesn't necessarily mean you have to partake in the festivities but it's worth checking out. What happens at sex parties vary but to my understanding, it's a social gathering where couples hang out or engage in whatever sexual activities they desire as long as consent is given by whichever parties are involved. Usually, these parties are hosted at people's homes or in hotel rooms at conventions.

6. Bang against your partner's desk at their corporate job

It's a thrilling fantasy to be bent over by your partner against their desk at their fancy executive job where they have to be professional toward others on the outside but all kinds of nasty with you behind closed doors. If your partner has a job as a general manager, data analyst, consultant, accountant, corporate controller, etc then this activity is perfect for you!

7. Have a sex marathon in a snow cabin

If you're looking for a baecation at a snow cabin during the winter, here a few Airbnbs to consider. Just don't forget to have some everlasting sex sessions while you're there.

8. Play "hide and go seek" in public

This isn't inherently sexual, but if you wanted to test the waters and see how creative you can get, you could go on a picnic in the park first. Then leave trackers—whether that be bread on the ground that the ducks can eventually eat or turn on your bitmoji's location on Snapchat to have your partner find you. Then when they finally meet up with you, you both can celebrate by having sex at your final destination.

9. Bang at a sex dungeon

In Chicago, there are some of the best underground sex dungeons to fulfill the deepest fantasies of those in the kink community. There are multiple playrooms that provide all the types of bondage accessories and plays you can think of.

10. Have a baecation at Desire Couples Resort

Embrace your adventurous side and indulge in an all-inclusive, clothing optional couples resort located on the glorious beaches of Cancun. This place is tailored toward couples who are apart of the swingers lifestyle but everyone is welcome to explore. Public sexual activity is permitted in some areas of the resort so it could be a great opportunity for the two of you to try things you've never even thought of before.

Dr King
Dr King

OMG, check these out

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I Used To Think Hormones Didn't Matter Until They Ruined My Life

Hormones have spent five years ruining my life but now I'm using them to get my life back.

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I've never been one of those girls that used "Sorry, I'm on my period" as an excuse for my behavior. I've always thought that saying that didn't make sense, that I should be in control of myself and my actions at all times and that blaming it on my hormones was an irresponsible cop-out.

Then, one day in high school, I woke up at a sleepover in excruciating pain, worse than any I'd ever had before in my life. After months of doctors visits, ultrasounds and CT scans, and even surgery, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), a hormonal condition that affects 5 to 10 percent of women worldwide.

My body's hormonal imbalance was causing me terrible symptoms: pain, mood swings, acne, irregular cycles, stress, and so much more. The doctor that ultimately diagnosed me was Catholic and anti-abortion and told me "Birth control would help manage your pain but I don't prescribe it." That was the moment that I truly felt hopelessness and devastation.

Right before I left for college, I decided to take my medical fate into my own hands. I went to a different doctor and was given an IUD. It worked great for a few months and then my body rejected it. I got a new one and it rejected again. A last-ditch third effort was also rejected and then it was time to attempt another method.

I spent six months on the shot, which left me feeling amazing for a few weeks right after I was given a major dose of hormones but made me miserable for about six weeks after that when the hormones started wearing off while I waited for my next batch.

Now, finally, I'm on the pill, which generally has been a great choice for me personally. There are still some days that I feel down. I still get bad acne and headaches and a plethora of other symptoms that are influenced by hormones but generally, I'm much happier and healthier now.

Hormones are fascinating. They control everything in our bodies and even the slightest imbalance can have dramatic effects and leave you feeling miserable. It's a great scientific achievement that we have medications such as birth control that we can use to manipulate hormone levels and their effects but this technology still has so far to go before it's perfect.

Now I know how important hormones truly are and how great their effects can be on every aspect of my day-to-day life. I'll still never say "Sorry, I'm on my period" but I'm a lot more comfortable now recognizing when I'm having a bad day or if I'm having physical symptoms like acne, pain, and headaches.

Hormones have spent five years ruining my life but now I'm using them to get my life back.

OMG, check these out

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