What The Average Guy REALLY Thinks When He Walks Into Victoria's Secret

As an American guy, it has been ingrained in my brain by mainstream media and how I was raised to like when a woman wears lingerie. I mean, that's what it's made for, right? As we all know, Victoria's Secret is the front-runner of women's lingerie, with stores in just about every department mall in America. Sometimes, women go alone or take their friends or romantic partners with them. Victoria's Secret always unveils what's on the female's mind, but not on the average guy's mind.

Allow me to show you...

1. There are half-naked posters, everywhere...

Who is their target here? Females who don't feel like the picturesque models on display in-store? I might be a guy, but being surrounded by the image of half-naked women in public is uncomfortable, mainly because I'm surrounded by 100 fully-clothed women in the store.

2. There's SO... MUCH... PINK

Okay, I'm definitely not a woman or an interior designer. But pink accents, with pink furnishings, pink lighting on the outside, and pink displays everywhere is a little much, don't you think?

3. $39.99 for this lace top? Bruh.

Yes, women should pay $40 for HALF of a lingerie outfit that they are likely going to take off after 5-10 minutes anyway.

4. This stuff definitely isn't "heavy-duty"

What's better than paying for overpriced undergarments? Paying for overpriced undergarments that should have rip hazard warning tags on them. Thank God I'm a guy and all I'm expected to wear is... nothing.

5. What's up with this lighting?

So you walk in and you're blinded by 2894893 vanity lights, and have to dodge a minefield of them as you walk around the store. Seriously what's the point? This is a bra, panties, swimwear, and perfume store... not makeup.

6. Perfume with the power of a wrestler?

I'm strolling along and then I'm clotheslined by the power of the perfume being sprayed, in addition to all of the women coming in the store wearing the scents they are looking to buy. I can't be mad at people wanting to smell good, but we need some ventilation or something up in here.

7. Oh crap, every woman in here is looking at me

What is everyone thinking of me? Do they think I'm a perv just walking around in here not knowing I am musing for my article? Do they think it's sweet that I might be buying something for my non-existent girlfriend? The world may never know.

8. Where are my bros at?

So, not only am I the only guy in here but every girl seems to be with another girl. Do men never journey into this pink abyss? Or are all of these girls single? I'm sure not going to ask them.

9. *Jokingly holds up a bralette* "Oh yeah, I could make this work"

This must've been what all the girls meant by "embrace your feminine side," right?

10. Hold up. Who is Victoria? What is her secret?

But seriously, why aren't we talking about who Victoria is? I bet Victoria's secret is the secret to how Jennifer Aniston doesn't age. Probably not though.

11. Gender inequality is real.

It's pretty easy for a woman to stroll into Belk, Macy's, or JCPenney and get a pack of nice Polo briefs for her man. But for guys, this store is more awkward for us than 7th grade health class. What's up with that?

12. Guys are garbage.

Haha I spent $50 on my shoes, and maybe $30 for my shirt and shorts. Two full sets of bras and panties could set a woman back $100. Another way in the world guys have it easy, and I have never felt guiltier.

13. *Holds up a complicated piece of lingerie* "How does this technology work?"

Seriously, I'm cranking a lever and going through 382 hooks just to figure this thing out... it's probably best not to ask questions.

I've lingeried (haha get it, lingeried... it's a pun on lingered?) in here long enough, because I'm pretty sure the wonderful ladies at checkout have scoped me out top to bottom. May I never have to return to this confusing pink hell, but I applaud you ladies out there for enduring it all (whether it is for your partner or just to feel good about yourself).

Cover Image Credit:


Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Hickeys Are Killing Teens, Young Love Isn't As Innocent As You Think

Hickeys might just be the next cause of your death.


An article by Mirror has revealed that a teen by the name of, Julio Macias Gonzalez, died because of a stroke caused by a bite mark left by his girlfriend.

The teen was spending time with his family eating dinner, after meeting with his girlfriend, when he started having convulsions and died of a stroke.

Hickeys, or bruises on the skin, as defined by Merriam-Webster, are usually caused by harsh sucking that burst small blood vessels.

These bruises usually last about 5- 12 days as stated through recent publishing by 54 Health.

The article also claims that the amount of time can also vary depending upon your own state of health & the amount of destruction the hickey caused.

"Some hickeys are more severe than others and take a longer time to heal," says 54 Health.

But, sometimes, there can be no room left for healing as some of these bruises can be extremely severe.

These hickeys on your skin can quickly turn into your next nightmare if it completely destroys your blood vessel wall.

In an interview given to Cosmopolitan's Relationship Editor, Julia Pugachevsky, Dr. Jessica O'Reilly said, "According to research, it is possible for hickeys to be dangerous if the pressure is applied over the carotid arteries."

"Too much pressure could injure the blood vessel wall and lead to a smaller clot that could clog an artery and cause a stroke," says Dr. O'Reilly.

Other experts, such as Dr. Teddy Wu, have made it clear that these strokes may not only result in your death but can also cause paralysis.

Even though the result of paralysis or death from receiving a hickey are of low-risk, consider the next time that you give your lover a mark or bruise on their skin - you might just end up being known as a "murderer," among their family & friends.


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My Parents Always Talked About Sex Openly With Me, And I'm So Grateful For Their Candor

And now, I write about sex.


My mom and dad talk about sex. They never hid it from me and never freaked out when I came home with sex ed diagrams of female and male genitalia. Instead, my dad quizzed me on the fill-in-the-blank diagrams because I was determined to get an A (as I am with any other test).

I was never uncomfortable bringing this material to my parents to laugh at and discuss. I'm grateful that they weren't mortified either.

My parents are my best friends and it's always been this way. I share everything with them, including boys and all that fun stuff. This is how my older brother and I were raised—we can tell our parents anything, they will always be there. I am a mature, independent young woman who can make her own choices. I am not my parents' puppet to control. They are here to guide me so that I can handle all parts of life.

Sex is just another part of life's journey and they get it.

I never had the sex talk with my parents. Life just flowed naturally and I was always open with them. I will always be their baby girl, but I'm getting older and older. If I had a question, they were there. When I had my first kiss, I couldn't stop bugging them about it: "I kissed a boyyyy! I kissed a boyyyy!" When I had boy drama, my dad was the one who helped me reply to texts as he speaks boy-talk and can relate to what a teenage boy is thinking. Not so long ago, my mom and dad were horny teenagers themselves learning about relationships, love, and heartbreak. I've heard the stories!

And now, I write about sex. Neither of them questioned it and I'm so lucky to have that. When my parents speak of my work, my dad will make note that some pieces aren't for the lighthearted, but neither of them is ashamed. What is there to be embarrassed about? S.E.X. Sex. It's natural, most everyone has or will experience intimacy. Humans crave this attention and connection. I was taught how to enjoy the world and be safe. I could ask questions and never be judged.

I couldn't ask for anything more.

When I have kids of my own, they will grow up knowing what sex is. They will know how to protect themselves. Know how to say "no." Know who to come to when they need help. I don't want them going to others with the risk of being misinformed. I want to provide a safe environment and not have "The Talk" be so awkward.

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