It's November, the temperatures are dropping, and the coats have been unleashed from the not-so-distant corners of dorm room winter storage. This is also the time for another season to rear its head: cuffing season. This phenomenon is when people, especially teens and college students, cozy up to one another in the beginning of the school year in order to have someone to cuddle up with in the colder months. At this point, many cuffs have been established to warm up for the cold weather that is arriving.
However, despite everything around me, I have not felt the desire to suddenly throw myself into a relationship in the beginning of a new semester.
I should provide that I am a college upperclassperson who has never been in a romantic relationship.
I have thought about the concept of being in a relationship in college. Sitting down with a couple of my good friends at the beginning of the semester, we talked about relationships and dating. This would be where I thought “maybe I could try to do that this semester!" However, I also constantly remember how involved I am with my academics and organizations at the moment. At this point, because of my studies and the tough semester it has been so far, I don't foresee myself looking for romance any time this semester.
While completing an in-class activity involving a survey called the Love Attitudes Scale, I was shocked about some of the survey items, which included “I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes in order for my lover to achieve theirs." Unless the author of the study meant sacrificing wishes for the sake of compromise, which is important in any relationship, it sounds very one-sided and unequal. My professor told us that if we have never been in a relationship that we should "imagine our ideal relationship." How am I supposed to know how to answer if I do not have first-hand experience in the given subject?
This does not mean that I am completely ruling out the possibility of being in a relationship while in school. It would be nice to learn how to date in college and not be completely awkward when getting coffee with a person I spent so much time chatting online with. However, it is not my priority to earn an MRS, otherwise known as securing a romantic life partner, while at college. And for the price we pay in tuition, it should not be. We are continuously developing and evolving as young adults during these crucial few years. These years should be spent working on ourselves and our own self-development as individuals and members of the multiple communities that make up our complex identities.
So unless love decides to come my way, I am choosing to stick with focusing on my academics first instead of scrolling through Tinder searching for "my one true love."