My Boyfriend Will Always Be Someone Special In My Life But He Is NOT My Best Friend
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Meet Nick, my boyfriend of seven months. He is one of the sweetest, down to earth, and funniest people I know. If you didn't already know, I love him. Like, a LOT.

Lindsay Messina

However, I have been seeing a trend online of girls talking about how their boyfriends are their best friends. There is nothing wrong with that, but I wanted to explain my (and a lot of other girls) situation: my boyfriend is not my best friend. He is one of the most important people in my life and in my inner support circle. But, he is not my best friend. And that is totally okay!

For me, my romantic relationship is a completely different type of love that I want to keep separate from regular friendship. That doesn't mean that every interaction I have with my boyfriend is romantic and never platonic, it just means I do not want to be unhealthily dependent on him.

I have been in a situation where my boyfriend has been my best friend, and it just had not worked for me. I put my last boyfriend above everyone else in my life, including my friends and family, and it was a complete disaster when we broke up. I felt lost and so lonely. It was like I had to get to know everyone in my life all over again, simply because I had ignored them for this one person for months.

I love Nick, but I have learned the importance of having a support system outside of your romantic partner. It has also taught me the importance of being self-sufficient.

In growing with and loving Nick over these past months, I have found ways to grow and love myself without the approval of others. Especially with long distance, being able to be independent is a must.

Lindsay Messina

This is Josie. She's my twin sister and my best friend. I go to her with a LOT, and I know that she unconditionally loves me as much as I love her.

We've been together since literally the womb, and I know that no matter what, she will be there for me. From heartbreak to new experiences, stress, and grief, she has been there for me through it all.

My boyfriend will always be someone special in my life, and one of my closest friends, but Josie will always be my best friend.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

11 Things The Man You Love Should Do For You, No Questions Asked

Sometimes it's just the simple things in life that mean a lot.

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Every girl feels special when the guy she's dating does simple things for her that not everyone thinks about. Here's a list of 10 things that every girl genuinely appreciates.

1. Open/Hold the door

I feel like this one is really simple because everyone has to walk through doors. Chivalry isn't dead, let him open the door for you. He's not trying to prove that you can't do it for yourself, but he's trying to be polite and show you that he cares for you.

2. Give you really big hugs

Everyone has bad days, and sometimes you just need a really big hug. Whether it be a bear hug or the hug where he picks you up and spins you around, it will make you feel better in the long run.

3. Buy you really small gifts

One of the best things my boyfriend has ever done for me is simply bringing me a Dr. Pepper when he knows I'm tired from a long hard day full of exams or work. Sonic slushes will also make my day in a heartbeat.

4. Text/Call you just to tell you he loves you

This is pretty simple. It takes less than 10 seconds to text, and only a few minutes to call. Sometimes you get these texts right at the perfect moment, and it makes you feel so much better.

5. Come see you when you're sick

Everyone hates being sick. But seeing your friends and family while you're sick can make you feel so much better. Having your boyfriend come to see you and possibly even take care of you just makes being sick that much easier.

6. Respect your decisions

You're not married yet, so your decisions are up to you! He should respect the decisions you make and support you, even if it's not what he thinks is the best decision. After all, you know yourself better than anyone else!

7. Give you a shoulder to cry on

We all have bad days, and sometimes you just can't stop the tears from coming. Even if he's not good with crying, he should give you hugs and love to help you get through it.

8. Compliment you

Even if you look horrible and know so, hopefully, he'll still tell you that you look good. Even if the clothes you're wearing aren't his style, he should still tell you that they look good on you and that you are beautiful each and every day.

9. Call you when you're away or he's away

If you're like me, I miss my boyfriend after being away for about three hours, so when we're apart for more than a couple days, I love getting random calls from him when he knows I'm not busy. It's definitely better than a text.

10. Deal with all your annoying quirks

So if you're anything like me, you enjoy screaming music as loudly and horribly as you can in the car and making a complete fool of yourself, but he should love you for that anyway. I also love to take really stupid pictures, and he should put up with that too. He shouldn't be annoyed by your quirks, he should love them and laugh along with you.

11. Love you no matter what

I honestly feel like this goes without saying, but I put it on here so that the girls who don't feel like they're being loved no matter what can realize. He should want to work out problems with you instead of calling it quits and holding a grudge. He should want you to be happy and support you in every decision you make in life. When he loves you unconditionally, he will do all of the above things and more.

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I Finally Got A Boyfriend Who Respects Open Communication And It's Changed My Whole Perspective On Dating

It's the most important thing a relationship can have.

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Growing up, I always thought that the person you're dating should be your best friend. I thought they should know absolutely everything about you, knowing you better than you know yourself. You knew you could always go to them about anything, no matter what it was, and they would be there for you and love you the same.

Unfortunately, sometimes that's not always the case. Sometimes an attempt at open communication only leads to yelling, shaming, and withholding.

I have a tendency to say how I'm feeling all the time, not really having boundaries about my private life and feelings. Part of that comes from my struggles with my mental health and wanting to talk about it to erase the stigma, and the other part of that comes from me just being an extrovert.

In my last relationship, this part of who I was became a burden to him. My feelings and the consequences of having spiraling mental health at the time only made him angry with me. I learned the hard way that I couldn't communicate openly with someone I had grown to love, someone I had thought I could always talk to about everything. I learned the hard way that this was no longer love, that this was no longer healthy.

It got to the point where I just shoved my feelings down inside me. I believed that everyone felt the way he did whenever I would open my mouth about things he didn't like or necessarily approve of. Instead of being the expressive person I was before, I became closed off, only opening up completely to one or two people I felt I could still trust.

Getting out of that relationship was like a breath of fresh air. I realized the toxicity of the way that I was being treated and how open communication became impossible. I realized I shouldn't have to be fearful of talking about how I feel or even just hanging out with friends due to the possibility of being yelled at for seemingly no reason again.

Now, I've learned what a healthy relationship is. When I was younger, I always thought my boyfriend would be my best friend and now he is. We talk about everything, and I know that if I'm feeling like my depression is acting up or if I get upset by something he did unintentionally, I can have a calm and genuine discussion with him. I don't have to tiptoe around my word choices to try to find a way to say how I feel without angering him.

I may get annoying, but he's never once yelled at me or shamed me for how or what I'm feeling. He treats every single thought and feeling I've ever had as if they are the most valid and important things he's ever heard of. He knows that talking about problems and feelings is important to me, and he makes sure that he communicates how he feels to me as well. We've created a safe and healthy environment with each other.

After my last relationship, I didn't really know what healthy love and communication were like anymore. I was very anxious the first time my boyfriend and I had a discussion about something that bothered me because I was afraid of being yelled at again. I thought that was just how people would treat me from that moment forward. He restored my faith in love, and he showed me that open communication is the most important thing a relationship can have. We are so strong and so in love, and a lot of that can be credited to how we talk to one another.

I finally got a boyfriend who respects open communication and it truly changed my entire perspective on dating. I learned that if a relationship doesn't feel like a safe place where you can talk about anything and everything to your best friend, it's not a healthy relationship like you think it is.

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