What To Do If Your Current Partner Still Seems Hung Up On Their Ex
630
views

We've all been in an uncomfortable situation of trying to decide whether or not someone still has feelings for an ex. Maybe that person was you, and no matter what you did you couldn't bring yourself to stop thinking of your ex and you had to determine if the feelings were still there on a romantic level. Or even worse, maybe you're with a partner who seems unable to move on past their relationship prior to you.

There's no hurt that compares to thinking that your partner loved someone before you were in the picture and that they might still have feelings for this person. While every feeling that you're feeling is valid—anger, confusion, jealousy— it's important to remember that your relationship is on the line in this situation and you wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. If no matter what you do, you can't shake the feeling that your partner is still hung up on their ex, follow these tips to keep yourself and your partner's feeling safe.

1. Remain calm

While it's easy to lose your temper in a matter of seconds every time they bring up their ex's name, remember that your partner's feelings are valid. Breakups are always hard and it does take some people longer than others to recover from them. Although freaking out at every mention of their ex's name will surely get your point across, be there to support your partner through the confusion and heartbreak that they're likely feeling. If you truly love them, their feelings should be more important than your ego.

2. Confront the situation

Sweeping things under the rug and acting like things are always fine is definitely the easy and safer way out, but if you don't confront your partner about your concern that they're still a little too into their ex, things will never change and your relationship will be compromised as a result. It's likely that your partner is already trying to hide the situation from you in order to prevent hurting your feelings. It's an awkward conversation to have, but if neither of you come forward about the situation, your relationship will break as a result of all of the tension.

3. Remind them how it makes you feel

Like I said, it's more than likely that your partner isn't doing this to hurt you. I mean, you really don't get a say in who you do and don't have feelings for. While you're undoubtedly hurting from the pain of not feeling like you're good enough for your partner and the potential of losing your relationship, it's important that you remind your partner how the situation is making you feel. They're likely confused and worried about your relationship as well and could use a reminder that while hurting you isn't their intention, it may be happening accidentally.

4. Don't make assumptions

It's easy to accuse your partner of having an affair with an ex out of rage and confusion. Remember that having feelings for someone can come without any action taking place at all, and can often be one sided. While our minds tend to jump to the worse case scenario and build up a possible story of exactly what happened, trust your partner and let them speak their truth. Assuming that you know what's going on and how they're feeling only belittles them in the situation and creates the potential for you to turn into the bad guy.

5. Determine why they still have these feelings

Your partner may be acting as if they are hung up on their ex for any different number of reasons. It's always possible that your partner is still in love with their ex, but at the same time, they could be still hurting from their breakup and their way of coping is coming across to you as being hung up. Figuring out why your partner is constantly thinking about their ex will help you come to terms with the situation and learn how to better support your partner.

6. Talk it out

Above all else, talk the situation out. Open communication is key. Hiding your feelings from your partner will never solve the problems that you face in your relationship. Be open with your concerns about your relationship. Talk about how your relationship got to this rocky place and what you're going to do to make sure it gets better.

7. Figure out how to move on

Come up with a game plan. How are the two of you going to make sure that your partner is moving on and you're no longer paranoid that they have feelings for their ex? Build trust with each other. Consider weekly date nights for the two of you, make rules about when it's okay to talk about an ex, and establish boundaries and limitations on friendships with an ex. It may seem controlling at first, but nothing is more important than making sure that the two of you are on the same page and ready to make your relationship work.

Most importantly, know that this isn't the end of your relationship. Your partner still loves you and while it hurts seeing them potentially still hung up on their ex, it is possible for the two of you to overcome this and build a stronger relationship.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To The Man Who Gave Me The World And Never Stopped Trying To Do So

Even though I don't say it enough, you really do bring me sunshine every day.

1416
views

To the man who has given me the world,

I feel like I never truly do give you the appreciation you deserve. After full two years of dating someone that I look up to, you have shown me ways of life no one has before.

I know there are so many girls out there writing letters to their boyfriends online, and I might just be another one of those girls, but this is more of a thank you than a love letter.


Thank you for picking me back up when no one else would.

Through all the fake friends who have backstabbed me multiple times and for all the girls who I have lost as friends, you knew I was stuck in such a tough situation and you still continued to make it better. You were the one who put a smile back onto my face and you were the one who took me out and brought me out of my comfort zone so I can find a new meaning of happiness.

Thank you for understanding my anger.

Sometimes I get angry, and I get into bad moods that I can't control. For some reason you understand it, and you don't push me for answers. You know I will open up sooner or later and the time might not be now but it might be later and you understand that and you accept that. That is all I ever asked for, for someone to not push my buttons when I don't want them pushed.


Thank you for making me laugh when I feel like crying.

You always know when I'm upset, but you won't push me past my limit. You crack dumb jokes and do stupid things that will make me laugh till my stomach hurts, and it usually ends up working. Even through the hardest of times when I have to fight back tears and get rid of the choking feeling in my throat, you manage to get rid of it so fast by making me laugh so hard that the tears that do come out aren't from sadness.

Thank you for always taking care of me.

It feels good to know someone always has your back and will always take care of me. Even through my car accident and the injuries I got, you still took the time out of your day to take me to my doctor's appointments. You massaged my back, made me food, and gave me all the blankets I could possibly ever need. You will kiss me a million times no matter how sick I am. You do all of this to make sure I'm okay and I'm alive and I'm more than grateful for that.

Thank you for always putting me first.

You put my happiness before yours constantly. You will do anything for me. I wanted to go to college in Florida and you dropped everything and followed me, You left all of your best friends behind because you wanted to continue your life with me. You've skipped English class more times than I can count to take me to my physical therapy appointments, or my injection appointments, You've done more for me than you have for yourself.


Thank you for being my person.

Not sure how my life would be if I didn't have you in it. You've been in it for so long that it would be too hard to let you go. You know me more than I know myself. You know what makes me smile so hard. You know how eggs literally are so gross to me. You know how to make me fall asleep in seconds (a secret no one else knows). You know how my biggest pet peeve is horrible drivers. You know how lemonade is my favorite drink of all time. You know how I wait 3 weeks to do laundry. You know how I suck at saving money. You know what shows to put on to make me fall asleep at night. You know every little thing about me, and there is no one else in the world that knows so much about me. You are my person, my forever person.

Thank you for giving me the world and for continuing to do so. Thank you for being you.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

8 Reasons Dating A Girl With A Dog Will Make You Feel Like The Goodest Boy

Because a girl with dogs are a special type of person

188
views

Having is dog can be compared to having a child, I mean, in more ways than one having a dog is waaaay better than having a child. They will love you no matter what, and will even try and kiss your face after you yelled at them. But girls with a dog, know how to love harder, better, than any normal, old girl.

People who don't like dogs are NOT to be trusted.

1. Girls with dogs make friends so much easier than girls without

Think about it, girls loving having things in common with other people (especially if it's another female in your life). So, once the word is out that your friend has a dog they will be able to have a full conversation instead of trying to make eye contact with you with their world famous "can we go" face.

Your girl will be busy taking about the tricks that little Roofus knows and you will be busy catching up with your "bros" and thinking about how amazing your girlfriend is.

2. They already have "mom instincts" 

Ok, this is the most amazing one. Because they are always taking care of their puppy dog, they are always aware of feeding time, when they have to go to the bathroom. And just like any mom, they are willing to DIE for their dog (I mean who wouldn't?).

So, what that means is that your girlfriend is PERFECT wifey material, she will be willing to make you lunch, and worry about if you are safe on your ride home.

She may even ask you if you need to use the bathroom, or if you have all day *wink*

3. Girls with dogs DEFINE loyalty 

Whether it's her dog is just a puppy or even one that she grew up with, the loyalty to actually have that dog for it's whole life is incomprehensible. I mean she already made a "life-long commitment" what have you done?

4. They are EXTREMELY forgiving people. 

Remember what I said about getting kisses after she would yell at a dog (you know, the opposite of what having a kid looks like)? Well, just as much as dogs are forgiving so is your girlfriend! Dogs can literally ruin your life while making you the happiest human ever.

Sounds weird right?

No, males cannot do the same things as dogs BUT good try though. Case in point, dogs can chew almost anything they can fit in their mouth, like new shoes, homework, the painting you worked on for hours and hours and guess what? In a few minutes, their pup will be loved like nothing ever happened.

Yes, sir, this could be you.

5. They love the outdoors 

I mean, where do dogs love to be?

OUTDOORS!

So, it's only right your boo loves it too! That means that easy picnic dates in the park are a MUST and frankly are easy to do. Just make sure that you bring treats for her #1.

No, I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about the dog. ;)

6. But, they are also "chill" with Netflix and Chill. 

Another place your lady loves to be?

Yep, you guessed it! HOME.

This is another simple date idea and a way that you can seriously win your ladies heart. They fear leaving their pup alone because I mean, it makes them sad. So, you can completely dodge that bullet and just choose to put on a movie, make some pasta and cuddle up with her.

But make sure you are leaving room for the pup.

(TIP: Always leave room for the pup.)

7. They are SO much easier to buy for. 

YES, I said it. They are NOT materialistic. Simply just make sure that you are buying a new sweater, or new treats for their doggo and you are SET.

Seriously, no really expensive diamonds or purses just treats.

8. They already know how to LOVE someone. 

Like really, really love someone. I mean they obviously already have a first love so they have been around the park or two. They know how to commit, build trust and just know how to be there for someone at all times.

You're #winning, bro.

So do yourself a favor, love a lady with a doggo.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments