What To Do If Your Current Partner Still Seems Hung Up On Their Ex
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We've all been in an uncomfortable situation of trying to decide whether or not someone still has feelings for an ex. Maybe that person was you, and no matter what you did you couldn't bring yourself to stop thinking of your ex and you had to determine if the feelings were still there on a romantic level. Or even worse, maybe you're with a partner who seems unable to move on past their relationship prior to you.

There's no hurt that compares to thinking that your partner loved someone before you were in the picture and that they might still have feelings for this person. While every feeling that you're feeling is valid—anger, confusion, jealousy— it's important to remember that your relationship is on the line in this situation and you wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. If no matter what you do, you can't shake the feeling that your partner is still hung up on their ex, follow these tips to keep yourself and your partner's feeling safe.

1. Remain calm

While it's easy to lose your temper in a matter of seconds every time they bring up their ex's name, remember that your partner's feelings are valid. Breakups are always hard and it does take some people longer than others to recover from them. Although freaking out at every mention of their ex's name will surely get your point across, be there to support your partner through the confusion and heartbreak that they're likely feeling. If you truly love them, their feelings should be more important than your ego.

2. Confront the situation

Sweeping things under the rug and acting like things are always fine is definitely the easy and safer way out, but if you don't confront your partner about your concern that they're still a little too into their ex, things will never change and your relationship will be compromised as a result. It's likely that your partner is already trying to hide the situation from you in order to prevent hurting your feelings. It's an awkward conversation to have, but if neither of you come forward about the situation, your relationship will break as a result of all of the tension.

3. Remind them how it makes you feel

Like I said, it's more than likely that your partner isn't doing this to hurt you. I mean, you really don't get a say in who you do and don't have feelings for. While you're undoubtedly hurting from the pain of not feeling like you're good enough for your partner and the potential of losing your relationship, it's important that you remind your partner how the situation is making you feel. They're likely confused and worried about your relationship as well and could use a reminder that while hurting you isn't their intention, it may be happening accidentally.

4. Don't make assumptions

It's easy to accuse your partner of having an affair with an ex out of rage and confusion. Remember that having feelings for someone can come without any action taking place at all, and can often be one sided. While our minds tend to jump to the worse case scenario and build up a possible story of exactly what happened, trust your partner and let them speak their truth. Assuming that you know what's going on and how they're feeling only belittles them in the situation and creates the potential for you to turn into the bad guy.

5. Determine why they still have these feelings

Your partner may be acting as if they are hung up on their ex for any different number of reasons. It's always possible that your partner is still in love with their ex, but at the same time, they could be still hurting from their breakup and their way of coping is coming across to you as being hung up. Figuring out why your partner is constantly thinking about their ex will help you come to terms with the situation and learn how to better support your partner.

6. Talk it out

Above all else, talk the situation out. Open communication is key. Hiding your feelings from your partner will never solve the problems that you face in your relationship. Be open with your concerns about your relationship. Talk about how your relationship got to this rocky place and what you're going to do to make sure it gets better.

7. Figure out how to move on

Come up with a game plan. How are the two of you going to make sure that your partner is moving on and you're no longer paranoid that they have feelings for their ex? Build trust with each other. Consider weekly date nights for the two of you, make rules about when it's okay to talk about an ex, and establish boundaries and limitations on friendships with an ex. It may seem controlling at first, but nothing is more important than making sure that the two of you are on the same page and ready to make your relationship work.

Most importantly, know that this isn't the end of your relationship. Your partner still loves you and while it hurts seeing them potentially still hung up on their ex, it is possible for the two of you to overcome this and build a stronger relationship.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To The Woman Who Needs To Be Wanted, Don’t Let Men Be Your Vice

It will only make you begin to despise yourself.
Cai Parks
Cai Parks
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By definition, a vice is a habitual or trivial defect... a shortcoming. Everyone has a vice.

Mine was men.

I always felt abandoned by the men in my life. I always clung to the opinions and attention of the boys around me...fighting for it in any way I could.

When I was younger, it was easy to get the attention of the boys my age by just dressing cute and having a bubbly personality.

As I got older though, I noticed that I was having to work harder and harder for their attention. Eventually, it turned into me feeling like I had to give myself to them in any way they asked to get their attention.

So that’s what I did.

I used my body as a way to fill some kind of void that I thought could be filled with the love of a man.

As the years went on, I felt myself clinging to not their love, but their lust.

I no longer cared about their love.

I just wanted to hear them call me hot, sexy, or beautiful. I knew they were using me.

I didn’t care.

I needed them to want me.

I needed them to beg.

I needed to feel needed.

For any woman who might feel as though a man’s lust for you can fill that deep void in your heart, take a step back. Trivial, temporary things like that will only make your heart heavier.

It will only make you begin to despise yourself.

There’s nothing wrong with living life the way you want or with who you want, but don’t use that lifestyle simply as a way to make you feel wanted.

Because my Prince Charming came into my life and I no longer needed any other man.

I finally felt truly loved and he helped me to learn that even without him, I would be more than a body.

He helped me see that I was a body, face, brain, smile, laugh, personality, and everything in between.

I am a strong woman now that I know my worth.

You are a strong woman.

Show your strength.

Know your worth.

Cover Image Credit: @thersagrant/Instagram
Cai Parks
Cai Parks

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Everything You Should Know Before Dating A Fitness Instructor

Sex, weights, cheat meal dates.

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As a fitness trainer, I know how much we love our job. How much we love the people we help and encourage. How much we never want to stop doing what we do. Yet, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. My boyfriend has to put up with some things that probably, kinda sorta are unconventional. But, he's living his dream (his words).

No matter what they teach, personal training, yoga, pilates, barre, HIIT, I could go on and on, but either way, they are passionate about the people they work with. This fire follows them throughout their life and will most definitely influence you.

1. Constant practicing

Don't be alarmed if you wake up to find her up and about practicing her routines for a class/client.

2. Gushing about a client who has been killing it 

No matter how much of a tough cookie we are, clients touch our hearts.

3. She's flexible

You. Are. Welcome. My best friends always introduce me to guys with, "She's really flexible ;)"

4. There's a routine, stick to it

We may be flexible, but don't come between her and her schedule. She is supported by her routine.

5. You are now a fitness class guinea pig

She needs you to help her rehearse. Approach her practice tests with enthusiasm and just have fun.

6. She'll never judge you

Don't ever feel pressured or intimidated. We love you for you. And, news flash, we are not perfect.

7. Always learning

Learning never ends. Learning new routines, learning new people, learning new emotions, learning new approaches to life.

8. And always eating

Teaching a few classes a day is tough on the body. We need our snacks. All. The. Time.

9. Stretches before bed... every night

No matter how tiring and long the day was, she will make sure to fit it a quick bend and no break.

10. The funny things that happened during class

Story time: One time I taught and my pants ripped. Only made the class more fun!

11. Shaker bottle vases

There's no need for vases, when shaker bottles do you justice. The first time my boyfriend brought home roses, I didn't have a vase so we improvised and used a shaker bottle. Now, that's the only vase we will ever need.

12. Free personal training

It's your dream come true. Fitness is at your right hand at all times. Plus, we will be pumped to start talking to you about our passion.

13. She talks endlessly about how well/not well your class went

Sometimes we kill it and sometimes... we fall a little short.

14.  Chugging water

We need to stay hydrated! Plus, she'll be your water tracker as she bugs you to drink with her. Shots! Shots! Shots (of water)!

15. Team work makes the dream work

There is no "I" in team and fitness instructors know the strength of collaboration and support. No one can go through journey a journey alone.

16. She wakes you up early to go on a run

Let's take a jog to the beach and watch the sunrise!

17. Protein, protein, and more protein

She doesn't have to be a weight lifter to assure that she nourishes her body with enough protein (from any source you prefer). My cupboard is always stocked with lentils and chickpeas.

18. Watching her watch fitness videos to get ideas

While you're reading the news, scrolling through Instagram, or just chilling out, she'll be watching workout videos or saving posts from fitness accounts.

19. Goes to bed super early

We need at least eight hours of beauty sleep and, let's be real, we are grandpas.

20.  She lives off of Spotify playlists

Wait, do you hear that song? What's it called, I need to add it to my workout playlist. Plus, she loves to sing (even if she isn't that good).

21.  Pulse 2, 3, 4

While she does chores, she'll start reciting her catchphrases and mantras.

22.  She's your forever cheerleader

Getting out of bed? If you don't squeeze it, no one else will! Washing the dishes? Let's go, you've got this! Running to the bathroom? One more minute! 30 more seconds! Mowing the lawn? You better feel it tomorrow!

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