What To Do If Your Current Partner Still Seems Hung Up On Their Ex
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We've all been in an uncomfortable situation of trying to decide whether or not someone still has feelings for an ex. Maybe that person was you, and no matter what you did you couldn't bring yourself to stop thinking of your ex and you had to determine if the feelings were still there on a romantic level. Or even worse, maybe you're with a partner who seems unable to move on past their relationship prior to you.

There's no hurt that compares to thinking that your partner loved someone before you were in the picture and that they might still have feelings for this person. While every feeling that you're feeling is valid—anger, confusion, jealousy— it's important to remember that your relationship is on the line in this situation and you wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. If no matter what you do, you can't shake the feeling that your partner is still hung up on their ex, follow these tips to keep yourself and your partner's feeling safe.

1. Remain calm

While it's easy to lose your temper in a matter of seconds every time they bring up their ex's name, remember that your partner's feelings are valid. Breakups are always hard and it does take some people longer than others to recover from them. Although freaking out at every mention of their ex's name will surely get your point across, be there to support your partner through the confusion and heartbreak that they're likely feeling. If you truly love them, their feelings should be more important than your ego.

2. Confront the situation

Sweeping things under the rug and acting like things are always fine is definitely the easy and safer way out, but if you don't confront your partner about your concern that they're still a little too into their ex, things will never change and your relationship will be compromised as a result. It's likely that your partner is already trying to hide the situation from you in order to prevent hurting your feelings. It's an awkward conversation to have, but if neither of you come forward about the situation, your relationship will break as a result of all of the tension.

3. Remind them how it makes you feel

Like I said, it's more than likely that your partner isn't doing this to hurt you. I mean, you really don't get a say in who you do and don't have feelings for. While you're undoubtedly hurting from the pain of not feeling like you're good enough for your partner and the potential of losing your relationship, it's important that you remind your partner how the situation is making you feel. They're likely confused and worried about your relationship as well and could use a reminder that while hurting you isn't their intention, it may be happening accidentally.

4. Don't make assumptions

It's easy to accuse your partner of having an affair with an ex out of rage and confusion. Remember that having feelings for someone can come without any action taking place at all, and can often be one sided. While our minds tend to jump to the worse case scenario and build up a possible story of exactly what happened, trust your partner and let them speak their truth. Assuming that you know what's going on and how they're feeling only belittles them in the situation and creates the potential for you to turn into the bad guy.

5. Determine why they still have these feelings

Your partner may be acting as if they are hung up on their ex for any different number of reasons. It's always possible that your partner is still in love with their ex, but at the same time, they could be still hurting from their breakup and their way of coping is coming across to you as being hung up. Figuring out why your partner is constantly thinking about their ex will help you come to terms with the situation and learn how to better support your partner.

6. Talk it out

Above all else, talk the situation out. Open communication is key. Hiding your feelings from your partner will never solve the problems that you face in your relationship. Be open with your concerns about your relationship. Talk about how your relationship got to this rocky place and what you're going to do to make sure it gets better.

7. Figure out how to move on

Come up with a game plan. How are the two of you going to make sure that your partner is moving on and you're no longer paranoid that they have feelings for their ex? Build trust with each other. Consider weekly date nights for the two of you, make rules about when it's okay to talk about an ex, and establish boundaries and limitations on friendships with an ex. It may seem controlling at first, but nothing is more important than making sure that the two of you are on the same page and ready to make your relationship work.

Most importantly, know that this isn't the end of your relationship. Your partner still loves you and while it hurts seeing them potentially still hung up on their ex, it is possible for the two of you to overcome this and build a stronger relationship.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To The Boyfriend Who Makes It Feel Like Valentine's Day Every Single Day Of The Year

I couldn't ask for better.

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If love is in the air and it's all over your Instagram feed, that can only mean one thing: Valentine's Day is approaching.

When it comes to Valentine's Day, people typically try to go over the top and demonstrate how much love they have for someone else through giving gifts. Whether that's flowers, chocolates, or going out to dinner, the gifts are meant to show that it's a special day that's all about the person they love.

That's not the case for me.

Valentine's Day is just another day to me. The love I receive from my boyfriend on a daily basis makes me feel like a queen every day, so nothing will really change once February 14th rolls around.

To him, I just want to say two things: thank you, and I love you.

Growing up, I never thought I would know a love as wholesome as yours. I sure as hell never thought I would deserve it, either, but you've shown me my worth and what real love feels like.

I used to not know my worth. I used to only know love as something that turned toxic and controlling. You changed all of that once you came into my life. You have shown me a healthy love that was trusting and unconditional, and I'll love you forever because of that.

I don't need Valentine's Day to know how much you love me. I don't need flowers, chocolates, or anything material to know that you see the rest of your life by my side. I know all of these things because you consistently show me that they're true on a daily basis.

You show me love in everything you do, whether that's holding the door open for me when we go out to eat, asking me how my day was, or making sure that my mental health is okay. You always greet me with a hug and a kiss, and you make me feel like I'm the most important person in the entire world.

You don't need to demonstrate a grand gesture to prove to me that you love me because I've never once doubted your feelings for me. You always tell me how beautiful I am and all of the things you love about me. I'm so thankful to be so head over heels for someone who cares about me with all of their heart.

I could never ask for someone better than you to be my partner in crime. You know me better than I know myself and I love every fiber of who you are. I know that in everything you do, you have me in your mind and your heart. You've shown me what it means to truly love someone, and for that, I'm so grateful.

Thank you for showing me what I deserve, and thank you for making every day feel like the most romantic holiday on the calendar. I love you.

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If You're Grossed Out By PDA, Then Don't Look At Me And My Boyfriend Kissing, Easy As That

Building my relationship and showing my boyfriend how much I love him will always be more important than catering to someone's bitterness.

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Whenever I see two people kiss, I always smile to myself briefly before looking away. That may sound weird, but honestly, there's something really heartwarming about knowing that other people are happy and in love. In a world that all too often seems full of hatred, heartbreak, and suffering, I try to value little moments of love. I've always felt this way, regardless of whether I was moody or happy, single or cuffed, and having a good or bad day. But apparently, other people, as I've recently found out, don't feel the same way.

"Do you two ever brush your teeth?"

"Are you picking bugs off of each other?"

*Other various glares and audibly annoyed sounds*

Talk about a mood killer, right?

I'll never get what possesses people to say stuff like that when there's a simple solution to this problem.

Don't like it? Don't look.

No one is forcing you to watch us be affectionate with each other. You can easily turn around, check the notifications on your phone, or talk to whoever you're with instead.

I've kissed my boyfriend in LOADS of places: restaurants, bus stops, school buildings, carnivals, parks, beaches, cars, apartments, social gatherings, and so on... And I can promise you that even when you act disgusted by what we're doing or make a nasty comment about us, we're not going to stop. So there's really no point in wasting your breath or expending energy on overdramatic facial expressions.

Even if just for a brief moment, try to think about why a couple might be showing affection for each other in public. (News flash: They're not doing it to deliberately make you comfortable.) It's more than likely that these two people are making the most of a moment.

They're happy and in love. There's nothing wrong with that.

On the flip side, why are you making such a big deal out of something that doesn't involve you whatsoever? My guess is that you're either unbearably lonely, jealous because your own relationship isn't suiting your needs, or just generally coldhearted. If any of those scenarios are true, I wouldn't be surprised. You chose to be hateful and rude over being civil and staying out of matters that don't personally involve you.

Regardless of the circumstance, it's a you problem that you need to work out on your own time.

Just like communication and effort, affection is an important part of a relationship. I want my boyfriend to know that regardless of where we are or who is around us, I will never be embarrassed or reluctant to kiss him or touch him. His feelings guide my behavior. He's my #1 priority. Building my relationship and showing my boyfriend how much I love him will always be more important than catering to someone's bitterness.

You can't avoid being around happy couples in public (really, we're everywhere), but you can change your reaction to them. And that's that.

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