Simply put, I'll never be the kind of woman who walks into a dinner party in the arm of an older, wealthy businessman with a frigid smile on her face only to be shown off and taken advantage of. I will never allow a man to control me, tell me what to do or who to be because I know myself, my strengths and all my capabilities.
One of my biggest passions, besides curating content about love/relationships, is legal theory. Yes, you read that right—I'm studying to go into law school.
I know, it sounds unconventional for someone like me to plan a career in such an oversaturated industry where becoming successful is hard in itself, but even harder when you're a woman, don't come from a wealthy family, or don't have connections to pave a way into a senior associate position.
I always used to think that if I really wanted to become an attorney, I was going to have to marry rich. I was going to have to be the type of girl who marries a man with more authoritative power in order to help me leap over the obstacles between me, my debilitating student loans and my dream of having my last name stenciled into some metal plaque.
And it irked me how dependent I was going to have to be in order to achieve the goals I've worked so hard to accomplished but merely be denounced with the label "trophy wife" stuck on my forehead.
Because here's the truth: I want to be able to take full credit for the degrees I'm determined to earn and to solely work my way up as I go. I don't want anyone to think that I became a "trophy wife" just so I could take the one way easy pass to the top.
I don't ever want to get myself involved into some beneficial relationship where I'm exchanging my freedom for a man's power and wealth, because I'm the type of woman who will stand up for myself when a guy isn't treating me right. Even if it takes me a few more years, even if I don't get accepted into the most reputable law school, even if I'm stuck in meaningless internships where I'm stuck filing paperwork inside a windowless closet—I'm powerful and capable of anything as long as I own up to myself and my self worth.
Marriage to me is a type of commitment that should be done when you truly love someone. Marriage shouldn't be used as a means to simply "buy" your way into a type of dream you've always wanted to live. Of course, we all want to live our best lives. We all want to have a beautiful house with a white picket fence, a closet full of designer clothes and handbags, a life where everything can be handed to us or simply bought for us.
But imagine a marriage where you aren't loved or appreciated. Where you constantly have to maintain a certain aesthetic to be considered attractive and you can't talk about your emotional feelings because you didn't get into this type of arrangement to do that. You're simply going to live a superficial life with a complacent smile plastered onto your face.
That's why I would become anything else in life other than a trophy wife.
I'd rather live a less than perfect, less picturesque life with a man who truly appreciates me, understands how strong I am, listens to my endless verbal rants for hours on end and still love for me being me—beauty flaws and all.
I fervently value my independence and I'm also a firm believer that every woman should too. With that, I advise all you strong, independent women to take advantage of your lives. Understand your capabilities and learn to value your self worth, before any man has the opportunity to take advantage of it.