I've Never Had A Serious Relationship In College And There Are Only 2 More Months Left

I've Never Had A Serious Relationship In College And There Are Only 2 More Months Left

Just because you don't have a boyfriend doesn't make you any less of a person.
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If you’ve read any of my articles before, it probably sounds like I know everything about dating in college, but that is SO far from the truth.

There’s no way for me to know everything, but let’s just say I have come across my fair share of fuck boys, boys who don’t-really-know-what-they-want-but-will-lead-you-on-anyway, and even the dreaded, “I see you as a really good friend” conversations.

I’m not saying that I am a perfect person, that I haven’t expressed interest way too quickly before, but all of these experiences have led me to realize how being an independent woman is one of the most beautiful things I can be.

I’m also not saying you should sacrifice your independence in a relationship, but you must spend enough time alone and fall in love with yourself first.

It seems like I’ve been falling for quite some time now. I have never been the type of person to just wait for things to come to them, and use their current situation as a crutch. Going after things I want is just part of my personality. I will always find a way to make things happen, it doesn’t matter if I am tired or uninspired.

While this sounds like a great trait to have, it also became my tragic flaw in the college dating scene. If there was a guy I was interested in, you best believe I was the one making the first move. There’s nothing wrong with this, apparently, it’s kind of attractive (as far as I know), but you should not be making all of the moves.

Throughout these past four years, one pattern that I noticed was as soon as I immersed myself in doing the things that brought me the most joy, a guy would come out of nowhere like he literally fell out of the sky.

I cannot tell you how many times one of these articles has been the reason a guy has “slid into my DM’s,” if you will.

I know I’ve exposed the guys who have wronged me (I’m sorry, you knew what you were getting into, buddy), but only because I don’t want other girls to fall for the same crap and make the same mistakes I did.

There are only two more months left in my college career and honestly, is it so bad to say that I’m kind of glad I never had a serious relationship?

Not being in a relationship gave me extra time to really get in tune with myself and figure out exactly what I wanted to do with my life after college. Side note: still kind of figuring that out, but nevertheless, I've got plenty of options, to say the least.

I spent my first two years of college hoping that I’d cross paths with someone who rocked my world (so much for wishful thinking). My junior year I discovered my purpose: having a positive impact on people’s lives by motivating them to share their stories on platforms like this one.

SEE ALSO: If All The Guys You Dated In College Became John Mayer Songs

I’m happy to say that it’s my last semester of college and I have empowered 30+ women to share their truth, generated over one million page views on this platform, and am in the process of launching my own business.

My point: you don’t need a boyfriend to do any of these things. Sure, they can be great support systems, but so are your girlfriends, and sometimes, all you need to continue is a "girls night."

If a guy is intimidated and even threatened by your success, then he’s not the guy for you.

To all of the girls out there who are scrolling through their Instagram feeds and feeling a pang of jealousy when they see photos of cute couples, just stop it. To all of the girls who are concerned about finding their significant other in these short four years, don’t be.

Just because you don't have a boyfriend doesn't make you any less of a person.

Actually, I think you're an amazing person for clicking on this article in the first place. Remember there are people in unfulfilling relationships; be grateful that you're not one of them.

Even if you don’t find him, you will turn out just fine. I am living proof, just look at my resume.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin

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Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.

xoxo,

The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

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Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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