I've Never Had A Serious Relationship In College And There Are Only 2 More Months Left

I've Never Had A Serious Relationship In College And There Are Only 2 More Months Left

Just because you don't have a boyfriend doesn't make you any less of a person.
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If you’ve read any of my articles before, it probably sounds like I know everything about dating in college, but that is SO far from the truth.

There’s no way for me to know everything, but let’s just say I have come across my fair share of fuck boys, boys who don’t-really-know-what-they-want-but-will-lead-you-on-anyway, and even the dreaded, “I see you as a really good friend” conversations.

I’m not saying that I am a perfect person, that I haven’t expressed interest way too quickly before, but all of these experiences have led me to realize how being an independent woman is one of the most beautiful things I can be.

I’m also not saying you should sacrifice your independence in a relationship, but you must spend enough time alone and fall in love with yourself first.

It seems like I’ve been falling for quite some time now. I have never been the type of person to just wait for things to come to them, and use their current situation as a crutch. Going after things I want is just part of my personality. I will always find a way to make things happen, it doesn’t matter if I am tired or uninspired.

While this sounds like a great trait to have, it also became my tragic flaw in the college dating scene. If there was a guy I was interested in, you best believe I was the one making the first move. There’s nothing wrong with this, apparently, it’s kind of attractive (as far as I know), but you should not be making all of the moves.

Throughout these past four years, one pattern that I noticed was as soon as I immersed myself in doing the things that brought me the most joy, a guy would come out of nowhere like he literally fell out of the sky.

I cannot tell you how many times one of these articles has been the reason a guy has “slid into my DM’s,” if you will.

I know I’ve exposed the guys who have wronged me (I’m sorry, you knew what you were getting into, buddy), but only because I don’t want other girls to fall for the same crap and make the same mistakes I did.

There are only two more months left in my college career and honestly, is it so bad to say that I’m kind of glad I never had a serious relationship?

Not being in a relationship gave me extra time to really get in tune with myself and figure out exactly what I wanted to do with my life after college. Side note: still kind of figuring that out, but nevertheless, I've got plenty of options, to say the least.

I spent my first two years of college hoping that I’d cross paths with someone who rocked my world (so much for wishful thinking). My junior year I discovered my purpose: having a positive impact on people’s lives by motivating them to share their stories on platforms like this one.

SEE ALSO: If All The Guys You Dated In College Became John Mayer Songs

I’m happy to say that it’s my last semester of college and I have empowered 30+ women to share their truth, generated over one million page views on this platform, and am in the process of launching my own business.

My point: you don’t need a boyfriend to do any of these things. Sure, they can be great support systems, but so are your girlfriends, and sometimes, all you need to continue is a "girls night."

If a guy is intimidated and even threatened by your success, then he’s not the guy for you.

To all of the girls out there who are scrolling through their Instagram feeds and feeling a pang of jealousy when they see photos of cute couples, just stop it. To all of the girls who are concerned about finding their significant other in these short four years, don’t be.

Just because you don't have a boyfriend doesn't make you any less of a person.

Actually, I think you're an amazing person for clicking on this article in the first place. Remember there are people in unfulfilling relationships; be grateful that you're not one of them.

Even if you don’t find him, you will turn out just fine. I am living proof, just look at my resume.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Subtle Ways You May Be Disrespecting Your Friend's Relationship

If they make your friend happy, you shouldn't be doing these things.

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No ones significant other wants to tell them they don't like their friends. And trying to tell anyone not to hang out with the people they're closest too is a disaster waiting to happen.

Some people really just don't like their friend's partner, but others have no idea the damage they may be doing to the relationship. If you are more aware of some things to avoid, hopefully, you, your friend, and their partner can all get along in peace.

1. When you see your friend, make sure to acknowledge their partner.

To be honest, this is a basic courtesy. If you go to say hi to anyone in a group of people, it is polite to greet, or at least acknowledge, everyone there. If you completely ignore that your friend's partner is even there, it will make them feel awkward and neglected. Just say hi.

2. Don't be overly touchy-feely with your friend, especially around their partner.

Obviously, this mostly applies to friends of the opposite sex (for heterosexual couples). Look, there is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex but just know your boundaries. You may think your friend's partner is being jealous for no reason, but are you doing anything that might make them uncomfortable?

You don't need to always have your arm around them or be leaned up against them. It is really inappropriate to kiss them on the cheek or give them super long hugs, even if that is something you did before they had a partner, and even if it is completely platonic.

You can still hug and be close to your friend, just be respectful of their boundaries. If you don't give their partner any reason to be jealous then they will have no basis to dislike you.

3. If you invite your friend somewhere, it is polite to also invite their partner.

Even if you assume your friend's partner is going to come, it is nice to make them feel welcomed. And if you don't want their partner to come, make sure they are not together or planning to be together when you invite your friend.

You don't have to always have their partner around, but don't make it a habit of not inviting them. If they don't feel welcomed around their partner's friends, then they probably won't feel as confident in their relationship.

4. Don't ever bring up your friend's past relationships, especially around their partner.

Even if they are on good terms. Even if you are still friends with their ex. Just don't bring them up. No one wants to hear about their partner's past relationships or flings. It is embarrassing and uncomfortable to have to hear about your partner's exes.

5. If you are all out together, don't try to separate your friend from their partner.

There is a good chance that if you are out with your friend and their partner, their partner does not know many people there. If that is the case, don't try to separate your friend from their partner.

There may be an exception if their partner has friends around too, or if they are outgoing and can talk to anybody easily, but otherwise, it is really awkward to be in that situation alone. They are with their partner for a reason, and it is nice to make their partner feel included as well.

Just don't make it a habit to always pull your friend away.

6. Don't put your friend in any awkward or risky situations.

If your friend is a cheater, that is not really any fault of yours. But don't be the friend who is known for putting your partnered friend in risky situations.

There is nothing wrong with going out occasionally with your friends, but it does not need to be a regular occurrence, especially if it makes their partner uncomfortable.

Along the same lines, if you know an ex-partner or fling will be there, you don't need to put your friend in that awkward situation. Just be aware of the situation and how it might make their partner feel.

To wrap up, you don't need to completely change your relationship with your friend just to make their partner happy; just make sure to be polite and respectful of their partner and their relationship.

These are some subtle things you may be doing that are hurting your friend's relationship that you don't even realize have negative consequences. Simply be more aware of some of these situations and how they could potentially make your friend's partner feel. After all, the best relationships are the ones where your partner's friends also become your friends.

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My BF And I Were 'Just Friends' And Now We're Celebrating Our One Year Anniversary

Dating my best friend was the best decision I have ever made.

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In August 2017, Brendan and I met. A group of friends invited him and me to go to Wendy's after a meeting for a school club. We talked the whole time — the conversation seemed endless in the best way possible. Later that night, I called him to ask him what water balloons I should buy for a celebration the next day. From that day forward, I cannot remember a day where I have not called him. It started off as nothing more as a platonic relationship from my perspective, but he would advocate otherwise.

Fast-forward to January 2018, Brendan and I started seeing each other outside of school. We would make up excuses and white lies to our friends and parents, saying that we were going to the library to study when really we would just sit in the parking lot and talk for hours until he had to drive me home. He became my best friend. I wanted to tell him everything — good news, bad news, stupid rants, my blonde moments, random and unfiltered thoughts. However, day-in and day-out, I kept denying that it was anything more than a friendship. Again, he would argue otherwise.

On April 27, 2018, I gave in.

We were sitting in his parked Dodge Durango, listening to a pop radio station. I was leaning over the center console to rest my head on his shoulder, and we were waiting for the sun to go down at a park. Abruptly, I looked over at him and ironically asked if he would be my boyfriend. For some reason, we did not tell our family or friends for about a month (sorry, Mum and Dad). I wish I would have realized it sooner, but regardless of timing, dating my best friend was the best decision I have ever made.

Christmas 2018Olivia Zidzik

Since then, our relationship has overcome insane distances.

Being 12 miles away turned into 1,601 miles when he went on a service trip to Boca Chica in the Dominican Republic this past summer. It went back to 12 miles for a little while. However, at the end of the summer, it turned into 413 miles when I moved to the University of Kentucky. In October, we were only a few feet apart as I hid behind his car in his school parking lot to surprise him. After I have returned and left home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break, he decided it was time for him to come to Lexington in March 2019.

All the time spent together and apart brings us to our one year — April 27, 2019.

Hey, Brendan: Although we will be 413 miles apart for it, happy one-year. You have been my rock and my best friend for the past 20-some months, and there are not enough thank you's that I can say to express how thankful I am that God put you in my life. I am so beyond grateful and appreciative for everything you have done and sacrificed for me and for us. I cannot wait to see where our journey will go next, but until then — here's to me and you. I love you. See you very very soon.

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