11 Times Frat Guys Actually Weren't Buttheads, According To College Girls

Frat guys often get a bad rap, and while sometimes they deserve it, there are definitely instances in which we're reminded that frat guys are just normal people who can be really great sometimes.

I asked 11 college girls to tell me stories of times frat guys have gone above and beyond and restored their faith in college guy-kind. Here's what they had to say:

1. The booty call turned beddy bye

"I met this guy in a frat party that I went to early sophomore year. We exchanged numbers but nothing really happened. I went to his frat's party later that week and I got pretty drunk. I couldn't find my friends and I just wanted to go home so I drunk called him a bunch of times. He was actually somewhere in the house and I was probably willing to do stuff I would later regret since I was really wasted. But he just gave me water, even made me some quesadillas, and walked me all the way to my dorm and made sure that I was safe and told my roommate what happened. Then he texted me the next morning asking how I felt and I thanked him for everything. We don't really talk anymore but if we see each other on campus, we'll say hi to each other."

- 20, Santa Clara University

2. Starting them early 

"Got me water when he saw that I was too drunk haha (he was a pledge though so I don't know if that counts)

- 19, Santa Clara University

3. Love changes minds

"My boyfriend is in a fraternity and everything about him has restored my faith in college boys. At least, just my faith in one college boy, haha! He proved to me that frat boys aren't all rude, self-centered jerks like I'd previously believed. He's so sweet and truly cares about me, plus he's the best friend I've ever had. I love seeing his dedication to his fraternity and am so appreciative of the friends he made and the lifelong support he has from them. Meeting him definitely made me rethink Greek life a lot."

- 20, Southern Connecticut State University

4. Doing the heavy lifting

"They helped me move my stuff up to my dorm on move in day. I also have some frat guy friends who are really good guys"

- 19, University of Colorado Colorado Springs

5. The good Samaritan

"I was at a frat party and this guy approached me and was like 'hey can you please help me? I found this girl really drunk and she keeps saying she needs to go to the bathroom and needs help in there but I don't think it's appropriate that I take her, could one of you girls please take her?' I'll call an Uber for you to take her home too" it was the most respectful thing ever, he did the right thing in getting help and not crossing a line."

- 20, Santa Clara University

6. Stop buying into reputations

"Frat guys are nice? They don't just do nice acts but most are genuinely nice guys. Everyone stereotypes them in college as being the assholes but in every group whether they are in Greek life or not, there are assholes. Everyone parties in college and although some may believe that frat boys create an unsafe environment, I have felt less safe at 'GDI' [Goddamn Indepdents] parties than fraternity parties. For example, I have always been offered to be walked home in a non-creepy way from a party by 'frat guy' rather than at non-Greek parties. A more specific story that comes to mind has nothing to do with the stereotypical partying that frats seem to be grouped into. A great friend of mine was gong through a hard time and both of us were good friends with many guys from one particular fraternity. Their nominations for sweetheart were coming up. They immediately nominated her and she won with no competition. This immediately lifted her spirits and she was able to feel like she was a part of another family when she needed it the most. I know that frats get a bad rap but really college drinking culture in general is the bigger problem. Stop blaming fraternity men for the problems of a whole campus."

- 22, University of Northern Colorado

7. Making sure you get home OK

"I was really drunk at a frat party years back and one of them decided he was taking care of me so he sat me on the porch during this big party and sat and talked with me for close to an hour before my ride showed up. He was very sweet."

- 19, Colorado State University

8. The open door policy

"When I was too tired to go home after dancing until 4 a.m., this really sweet guy let me sleep on his fold out couch, gave me blankets, a fresh pillow, and a fresh t-shirt! Was sound sleep until pretty late the next day and I felt very safe. This frat is also very accepting of LBGTQ (multiple guys in this frat are out as homosexual)."

- 19, Emory University

9. Standing up against rape culture

"I wrote an article on the frats at Ohio University who defy the stereotypical frat boy through their #metoo signs. The fraternities involved make it clear that sexual assault/harassment is not condoned or deemed as 'cool,' although plenty other frats have been seen to disregard such issues. The OU boys are fighting back and denouncing rape with such signs that say, 'Stand with survivors,' 'Consent is BAE #beforeanythingelse #athenstogetHER,' ''No' does not mean 'convince me,' and 'It is not consent' if they are too afraid to say no."

- 19, Stony Brook University

10. The vom and rally

"I was at a dayger (day party) one time and I'd had a good-sized breakfast before hand, which was great and all until I needed to yak. I went over to one side of the backyard and was standing there looking nauseous until one of the frat guys who was throwing the party told me to 'pull trig,' that it was OK, and that I'd feel a lot better after I did. I threw up in his backyard, he gave me a high five, and I was able to go back to enjoying the party. I don't even know who he is but he made me feel less ashamed and embarrassed."

- 20, Santa Clara University

11. The generous lover

"He gave me head first"

- 20, Santa Clara University

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

5 Questions To Ask Yourself When You're On The Fence With A Guy

Is he worth it?


Whether you're contemplating if you want to continue your fling with a guy or contemplating breaking up with your boyfriend, there are always questions we're asking ourselves. Ranging from "is this right of me?" to "is this what will make me happy?" But if you are really sitting on the fence and don't know what to do next, check out these five questions you need to ask yourself if you're torn on what to do.

1. Do I want long term or short term?

This is a huge question to ask. If you're looking to settle down for a while, your guy may not want that. And it could always be the other way around as well. Make sure to decipher this with him so you both know what you want and no one gets a broken heart.

2. Can I see myself marrying this person?

I know this is a bold question to ask, especially if you're not dating. But really thinking about if you can see yourself with them for a long time can make it or break it. But say you're dating and you're on the fence of deciding you want to break up with them or not, think about if you can see yourself saying "I do" to them, and if you can't, let him go.

3. Can I see myself living with them/how do they live?

I've seen many people get engaged and move in together and later call it quits due to the way their partner lived. If you've been getting to know your guy for a while now and notices he lives like a pig, you may have to wonder if you'd be cleaning up those messes in the future.

4. How do they make me feel?

This question in a no brainer. If they make you feel bad, why even question continuing into the relationship.

5. Are they worth it?

Is he worth it? I know I have had some experiences when I was on the fence with a couple of guys and I've had to ask myself the same question. And when I'd question if he was worth it or not, my gut feeling always came out right. If you're looking to keep him around, always ask yourself if he's worth it.

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Girls, You NEED To Understand That Fuckboy Texting You ‘wyd’ 24/7 Will Never Give You A 24 Karat Ring

I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you his wife.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

There are five unofficial steps of hookup culture: Find a guy. Get to know him a little bit, but not too much (because you have to keep "boundaries," remember?) Make a pact to keep things "casual" and promise to still be "friends" with each other. Then, hookup with him. And keep hooking up with him without any emotional attachment — just over and over again and never expect anything more.

From a birds eye view, hookup culture seems so harmless. I mean, what's more convenient than having a booty call at your doorstep with the swipe of a screen? When you want to hook up, all you have to do is shoot that 2 a.m. "U Up?" text.

Hell, I even wrote a whole article about the perfect FWB situation.

Yet suddenly—here I am, Elle Hong, resident "Uncuffed" writer on Swoon and self proclaimed fuckgirl who glorifies hookup culture above anything else, catching feelings and falling for the wrong guys just like any other girl out in the world.

Consider this blasphemy. Or maybe I'm just dying to make a confession.

A confession that I, too, have experienced the feeling of wondering why I was never enough for the guys I hooked up with. Why they never chose me over the girls they would eventually form serious relationships with and why to them I only was nothing more than a casual hookup.

So, I thought about it. I critically analyzed it. I "Aristotle-d" my way into trying to find an answer behind the impossible question of wondering why I was never considered to be anything more. Over the past few weeks, it essentially became my new research topic and now, I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you into wifey material. Here's why.

First and foremost: Guys usually (but not always) choose to hookup with girls who they don't see as anything more.

Now, keep in mind I'm not saying that guys will NEVER fall in love with the girls they hookup with because it can happen. It's life. Life is unpredictable. No doubt, people have fallen in love on Tinder and married a random match who just happened to become The One. But we all know what Tinder is really for. Generally speaking, guys will seek random hookups with the types of girls they think are "easy" and if they're desperate enough, it's definitely not going to be someone they view as their future wife.

If he thinks you're cute, you're within 10 miles radius and you can hold a conversation, it doesn't matter what your annual salary is or how many siblings you got—he wants one thing and it's to get you in bed. And until a guys find this girl who captures his heart and inevitably makes him want to settle, he's going to go around hooking up with random girls left and right. So in this case, it's not your fault. You're just with the wrong type of guy who only thinks of you as his sexual conquest.

See also: Guys want to settle with girls that don't go around hooking up with other people.

Ironic as hell because I just talked about why guys would never want to settle, period. But think about it—guys are humans with rational thoughts and animalistic desires. When they find their territory, they mark it. Once he finds a girl who is the one, he never wants to let her go. And he never wants to see that girl be with another guy or god forbid, go around hooking up with other guys. So here's the moral of the story to get my point across: I hate to break it to you, but bragging about how many other guys you're f*cking outside of your current FWB situationship isn't going to help develop the relationship any further.

Finally: A girl's "hoe phase" might seem empowering but for guys they see it as a threat.

Thanks to the wonderful millennial encyclopedia that we call Urban Dictionary, we have a definition behind this certain life style: A phase in life which occurs when a girl goes around social settings exploring herself, committing promiscuous acts and connecting with random people. For girls, it seems pretty damn empowering, doesn't it? For us it's a chance to let loose, to live a lil bit more and to run around as independent women. Nothing wrong with that of course.

But for guys to perceive this type of lifestyle, they see it as a threat which could arise if they form a relationship with you. It's simple logic here. A girl who's in her "hoe phase" is more likely to be unfaithful since they're always out and about with this person and that person. Put it this way: a guy doesn't care if you're a hoe—but he only wants you to be HIS hoe and not everyone else's. So you might think that it's a great way to express yourself and to enjoy your college years, but keep in mind that it could possibly be holding you back from taking the next step with your casual FWB.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

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