It was a few weeks in to my sophomore year of college. I wasn't a scared freshman anymore, I was finally out of a very toxic and controlling relationship, and for my first time EVER I was going out with friends with out any rules or regulations. It was the first time my friend group was able to all go out together that year and we could not have been more excited! Our night was going to be filled with club and bar hopping. Being newly single, I was ready for the freedom of my first night out!
We were at the second bar of the night and all having a great time! We were catching up with friends from last year and making new friends for the year to come. I was talking with a guy I recognized from my English intro class. He told me about his summer internship and I told him how I worked with kids all summer. The conversation was going great but then he asked the dreaded question that I try my best to avoid at all costs: "Are you seeing anyone?"
I'm sure you're thinking, "What's so hard about that?" I mean sure, the answer is no. But as soon as I say no to this guy, he is going to think he has a chance. He is going to assume I'm flirting with him if he hasn't already. He's probably going to hope that we end our night together. But he doesn't have a chance, I'm not flirting with him, and there is no way in hell I will be ending my night with him. Why? Because I like girls.
So how did I end up responding to this God forsaken question? I told him that I just got out of a rough relationship. He seemed like he genuinely cared, which was nice. He comforted me, gave me compliments, and told me all the cliches he could think of. He was being very nice and I honestly felt bad that I was about to ruin this guy's night.
"I'M GAY!" I blurted out in the middle of his sentence.
His jaw hit the floor. "So...you like girls."
I nodded my head, took a deep breath, and prepared myself for what was about to come out of his mouth next.
"Aye! I like a challenge." He grinned and started looking me up and down. All the charm this boy had, was now down the drain. And I was really over here thinking I was actually about to have a male friend. I should have told him off. I should have made that an educational moment for him. I should have knocked his beer out of his hand and walked away. But I didn't. I pretended like I had a phone call and never saw him again. But here is what I should have said:
I am not a challenge. I am not playing hard to get. I did not choose to be a lesbian. Some guy did not treat me the wrong way and make me like this. You can't "turn" me. You especially can't "turn" me back. I never was straight to begin with. No, I don't want to just "try" being with a guy. No, I don't want to have a threesome. I like girls because I'm attracted to girls and no guy will ever change that.
Moral of the story: don't claim that you can change someone's sexuality-the only person who can do that is themselves.