Offset Interrupting Cardi B On-Stage To Beg Her For Forgiveness Is The Epitome Of Male Privilege

Offset Interrupting Cardi B On-Stage To Beg Her For Forgiveness Is The Epitome Of Male Privilege

Stop putting pressure on women to take back the men who don't deserve to be forgiven.

Dr King
Dr King
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On Friday night, Offset posted a video via his Instagram page, practically begging Cardi B to forgive him and spend Christmas together with him as a family.

Now I will admit, these advances did seem like a delicate, little gesture to get her back at first. On one hand, it was nice to see Offset fight for his marriage in a way we've never seen him do before, but on the other hand, it was simply too late. He repeatedly cheated on her even after she had taken him back after the first scandal.

On Saturday, a video circulated of the famous rapper, 21 Savage, standing beside Offset and hyping up a crowd to chant "Cardi, take offset back!" during a live performance. This still may seem like a romantic gesture to some, but I'm here to break it to you...

Constantly begging your ex through a public platform to take you back and getting others involved with the grand scheme is not only an exploitive thing to do but an emotional form of manipulation.

How? Because manipulation starts with not taking accountability and eventually progresses to pushing boundaries. We've already seen before that Offset has a tendency to shift the blame on anyone but himself for his infidelity, saying things like "Y'all won" or "Fuck y'all, I miss Cardi." Now other male celebrities are chiming in, urging her to reconsider the divorce. I wouldn't be surprised if Cardi has thousands of DMs of random people saying the exact same thing.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any more coercive, another video circulated on Sunday morning of Offset bringing out a huge cake set up, completely interrupting Cardi's headlining performance at Rolling Loud. He even gave her flowers that spelled out "Take me back, Cardi." She was visibly upset and even had him removed from the stage. At this point, people can't continue to make excuses for him. Just because they're married doesn't make his emotional abuse acceptable. He treated her like garbage in private and he's now trying to be dramatically nice to her in public so that the world changes their minds about him and pressures her to do what he wants.

These tactics by Offset may have seemed cute at first but now that it's gotten to the point where it's borderline stalking and harassment, and it needs to stop completely.

But let's not forget that this isn't the first example where we've seen this happen.

Remember Robin Thicke's 14-track remorseful album, "Paula"? Paula Patton, his ex-wife, called it quits after infidelity and domestic abuse on his part, but he still did everything in his power to make sure she would go back to him. He eventually pushed her to the point where she felt the need to file a restraining order against him. We've also seen firsthand what happens when the roles are reversed and how women are looked are demonized no matter the outcome. In 2016 many internet trolls attacked the famous singer, Kehlani, for allegedly cheating on Kyrie Irving. The backlash was so brutal that she went into hiding for months before appearing in the public eye consistently again. Anyone would be lying if they said they didn't see the double standard there.

Now I'm not saying there isn't any room for apologies (even public ones) after you've done something wrong. However, the biggest apology is changed behavior.

We're all human and sometimes we fuck up. Sometimes it's a slight mistake and other times it's more severe. That's human nature. We make mistakes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to grow from our mistakes and be honest with ourselves about who we are. If you've done something to hurt your partner, either fix it and move forward or be more self-aware and realize that maybe you don't need to be in a relationship as opposed to pushing boundaries for sympathy without taking accountability.

From now on, let's stop putting pressure on women to take back the men who do us dirty rather than chastising the guy who wanted to be community dick while already in a relationship.

Dr King
Dr King

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

As Much As You May Want To, You'll Never Get Over Your First Love

You never forget your first

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Your first love is just that: the first person you've ever truly loved (besides your family and friends). Maybe you've kissed a few people before, but with this person it's different. They mean something to you that no other person ever has before. Maybe you met this person when you were younger in high school or met them a little later in life as I did at the end of my first year of college. Meeting my first love transformed me, both for the good and the bad, and as much as I may want to, I'll never get over my first love and neither will you.

When we met, we didn't meet in some fantastical way, we met on Tinder right after a surprise breakup of mine. We had instant chemistry, and I didn't get to kiss him for weeks because I ended up getting mono right after the breakup (haha whoops). He was the first person I've ever kissed who I didn't want to stop kissing- ever. Yes, second semester freshman year me was super extra when it came to him, but being with him was so different than anyone else. Things progressed through the summer as we talked every single day, even though we never got to meet up because we were both busy, and at the beginning of my sophomore year, I lost my virginity to him. That was a big step for someone who thought she'd wait until she was married. He made sure I was fine and didn't push me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I'll treasure that forever.

He was someone I loved with all of my being, to the point where it was physically hurting me in the end because I knew what I felt wasn't going to ever be reciprocated the way I wanted it to be. That's when I had to end it, which was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To me, he was a boyfriend, but to him, I was a friend with benefits. I wanted something more and he wanted less, and I didn't want to accept that. I wasn't his first love but he was mine, which he doesn't know and probably never will. I have had moments where I thought I was over him, but then all the emotions flood right back. In hard moments of hurt is when I miss him the most, but also in moments of joy too. If I see a nice car I think of him, or of other little things, like a french bulldog or The Fast and The Furious.

Your first love leaves such a monumental effect on you as a person. They have seen parts of you others have not. You will always remember your firsts more than anything else, which is why your first love never leaves you. As roughly as things ended between he and I, he's always going to have a piece of me that no one else will ever have. The relationship we had wasn't what you'd expect from someone you call your first love, but his mark on me is what helped shape me into who I am today for better or for worse.

Don't let any negativity remain when it comes to your first love (if there is any). Let it go and remember the good. They will be a part of you forever, so you can never truly get over you.

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Why You Keep Falling In Love With People Who Don’t Love You Back In Your 20s

It's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

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Can love truly be both beautiful and heartbreaking?

It's a question I silently asked myself, sitting shotgun in a car next to someone I considered my friend.

A "friend" seemed to be the right label to define our relationship. To him, I was just a friend—who just happened to be a girl, a girl he texts regularly, jokes around, and can grab a drink with. And we loved each other as friends, because we both trusted each other, we had fun together and each had our own independent lives which would connect occasionally in a complete, non-questionable platonic way.

But slowly, for me, he was becoming everything I've ever wanted in a guy, standing right in front of me. But he wasn't mine to have.

And imagine being so close to someone you want except you can't have him because it might just ruin everything you've already shared together. Because what if you scare him away? What if he replies by telling you "No"?

That's the simple nature of falling in love with someone you can't be with.

In our early part of our lives—particularly in our 20s and during our college years, we all experience this type of heartbreak.

To name a few: A high school boyfriend who lives halfway across the country now. The hot guy you sit next to in lecture who already has a girlfriend. The casual hookup who you just can't manage to stop thinking about as you endlessly toss and turn at night. The platonic friend who doesn't quite see you as being something more.

We all at one point in our thoughts have imagined "coupling" or sharing a life with a guy who we can't seem to have for ourselves. We've always dreamt how things could actually work out if you actually shared your feelings with him except the closest we'll ever reach to it is in our dreams, not reality.

And to examine the logic behind why this happens, we have to first admit how we always want what we can't have.

Because it's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

So, it's not really this case of the whole Romeo and Juliet "star-crossed lovers" BS but rather, it's purely a one sided love which can most definitely be beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Beautiful because there's always a connection you feel which makes you all warm and bubbly inside but heartbreaking because you know this connection is merely flowing in a one way track.

So then, why do we tend to maintain our connections with these people who hurt us?

One reason is because you're afraid to lose him altogether. Perhaps you think he's going to go on full freak-out mode after you spill the beans to him. My piece of advice in this scenario would be to just suck it up and take the chance. Talk to him about how you feel because honestly, what's there to lose? Unless you're not reciting some sappy, over-the-top love story about how many kids you plan to have with him, you're fine.

But perhaps, the most common reason is because we assume he might eventually fall in love with us, too.

And if this pertains to you, gear up because I can write on for days about why this is a big no-no. Heck, I can probably teach a class or lecture to all of you about my elaborative theory of why you will definitely know whether a boy truly loves you or not. It's plain and simple—if he loves you, he'll make sure you know.

And you can't force someone to fall in love with you. Even if you pay them a million bucks, you can get them to pretend to love you or force them to be with you—but it's never going to be true love. Because true, unrequited love is effortless. It comes naturally. The fiery passion will be shared mutually and you won't ever have to question whether or not you belong with him.

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