If You Don't Have An Open Bar At Your Wedding, Don't Invite Me

If You Don't Have An Open Bar At Your Wedding, Don't Invite Me

If I am going to watch you be in love, I am gonna need a few drinks to cope with how single I am.

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I was raised Church of Christ, so all too often have I been to weddings without a bar. It wasn't the worst thing ever, and I know there are personal religious convictions for the lack of alcohol—which is respectable—but as I have ventured out of the Church of Christ wedding realm I have found the bar to be my newfound saving grace.

Whether it be an open bar—my personal favorite—or cash bar, if you have a bar of any kind, you will receive an RSVP along with a wonderful gift from the registry as my token of thanks. There's nothing worse than showing up to a wedding, flask in hand, just to find out there's no bar (so am I the only drunk person here now?) ... Awkward.

I know it seems harsh, but unless Jesus Christ himself will be there to turn the water into wine please do not invite me to your dry wedding...

Here are a few reasons to definitely include alcohol for your guests:

1. Weddings are on weekends

I spend my Monday's looking forward to my Friday's and my weekend's dreading my Monday's. If I am going to spend a night from my sacred weekend celebrating someone else's love story I have yet to attain, then you bet your bottom dollar there better be some alcohol there to numb that pain.

2. I won't dance

If there's no alcohol, the reception looks like a middle school dance. Girls on one side, guys on the other. Without alcohol, people refuse to dance, and if nobody is dancing, then that means I am not dancing and I wanna freaking DANCE. Also, my moves are better left forgotten—which is why a bar is the best solution for everyone involved.

3. Strangers stay strangers

There are so many people from different parts of the bride and groom's lives that there is always that awkward small talk. "Are you here for the bride or groom?" "How do you know said bride/groom?" "Oh, how lovely." "Cheerio!" No thank you. You put alcohol in the mix and we are going to go from strangers who both awkwardly dated the groom to best friends for life.

4. It helps me cope

It is hard enough as it is to be single, but to watch two people get married and be in love—it's depressing. If I am going to watch you be in love, I am gonna need a few drinks to cope with how single I am.

5. Liquid courage

How else am I supposed to hit on the hot groomsmen if I don't have a little bit of wine to give me that extra kick of confidence? Also, how are any groomsmen going to think I am the hottest person they've ever seen without their drunk goggles on?

6. Alcohol is my weapon

Wanna know how to catch the bouquet? Make sure every single woman is as drunk as possible, don't drink and then you can catch the bouquet cause everyone else is visually impaired. I don't have height or athleticism working for me, but if I am the only sober person there then maybe I can finally catch the infamous bouquet and I don't know... get married?

I know saying, "Don't invite me to your wedding unless there's a bar" seems kind of selfish... but that's because it is. Think of it this way though—I am just one less person to pay for and one less person sneaking a flask in for your grandma to judge... so in the end, am I really being all that selfish?

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

16 Wedding Gifts Under $50 That'll Have Any Wedding Guest Say 'I Do'

Because being on a budget doesn't mean you have to arrive at a wedding empty-handed.

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If you're on a budget but have a wedding to go to, it can be hard to find an affordable wedding gift you can buy for the bride and groom. You don't want to show up empty-handed, but you also don't want to spend an arm and a leg on a gift when there are plenty of other people attending who are better off affording certain items. (A good rule of thumb? Always try to "pay for your plate" — or the cost of what the bride and groom likely paid for you to be there.)

Most of the time, there are lots of things you can find on a registry under $50. Whether it be towels, a waffle maker or oven mitts, you can usually find SOMETHING in your price range. If not, this list is for you.

Brides-to-be: Here is a list of things to add to your wedding registry for your broke AF friends.

Broke friends: Here is a list of things to get if everything on your friend's list is way out of your price range.

1. Personalized cutting board

Personalized Cutting Board, 12 Designs & 3 Sizes, Bamboo Cutting Board, Wedding Gifts for Couple, Housewarming Gift & Kitchen Sign - Butcher Block Inlay Board #G

2. Cookbook

The Complete Cooking for Two Cookbook, Gift Edition: 650 Recipes for Everything You'll Ever Want to Make

3. Meat and cheese board

Bamboo Cheese Board and Knife Set - Charcuterie Board Set for Cheese Platter. Wood Serving Tray For Wine, Meat, Appetizers, Snacks - Entertaining Kitchenware Gift Ideas for Wedding and Housewarming

4. Handheld vacuum

Handheld Vacuum Cordless, HUNLEE 5KPA Powerful Suction Hand Vacuum Cordless Cleaner Rechargeable Hand Vac with 2.5h Quick Charge, Lightweight Hand Held Vacuum Cordless for Home and Car Cleaning

5. Carry on

COOLIFE Luggage Expandable(only 28") Suitcase PC+ABS Spinner 20in 24in 28in Carry on (White Grid New, S(20in)_Carry on)

6. Blender

NutriBullet NBR-1201 12-Piece High-Speed Blender/Mixer System, Gray (600 Watts)

7. Crock-Pot

Crock-Pot SCCPVL610-S-A 6-Quart Cook & Carry Programmable Slow Cooker with Digital Timer Stainless Steel

8. Bathroom towels

Luxury Hotel & Spa Bath Towel 100% Genuine Turkish Cotton, 27" x 54", Set of 4, White

9. Waffle maker

Cuisinart WAF-F10 Belgian Waffle Maker, Stainless Steel

10. Tools

DEKOPRO 128 Piece Tool Set-General Household Hand Tool Kit, Auto Repair Tool Set, with Plastic Toolbox Storage Case

11. Kitchen tools

Stainless Steel Kitchen Utensil Set - 29 Cooking Utensils - Nonstick Kitchen Utensils Cookware Set with Spatula - Best Kitchen Gadgets Kitchen Tool Set Gift by HomeHero

12. Baking dishes

Staub Ceramic 2-pc Rectangular Baking Dish Set - Rustic Red

13. Kitchen Towels

The Weaver's Blend Set of 3 Kitchen Towels + 3 Dish Cloths, Basket Weave, 100% Cotton, Absorbent, Size 28"x18" and 12'x12", Yellow Stripe, Kitchen Towels and Dish Cloths

14. Cute AF oven mitts

RED LMLDETA Oven Mitts Set of 2 with Transparent Clear Silicone Shell and Nice Dog Printing Cotton Lining, Heat Resistant to 500 F Kitchen Oven Gloves Pot Holder for Cooking (Blue)

15. Kitchen knife

J.A. Henckels International CLASSIC 8" Chef's Knife

16. Pizza cutter

16" Pizza Cutter by Kitchenstar | Sharp Stainless Steel Slicer Knife - Rocker Style w Blade Cover | Chop and Slices Perfect Portions + Dishwasher Safe - Premium Pizza Accessories

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10 Bible Quotes For The Engaged Couple That Can't Wait To Say 'I Do'

Make some room for Jesus in your head that's full of wedding bells.

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Getting engaged is one of the most exciting experiences in a person's life. The whole world finally has more of an understanding of how deep and unconditional your love is for each other. After all, you have officially promised to spend the rest of eternity with that special person!

For many Christians, getting engaged is also a time for the couple to seek religious guidance.

Here are 10 Bible quotes that any couple anxious to say "I Do" should read.

1. 2 Corinthians 4:18

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-5

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

3. Isaiah 62:5

"As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you."

4. Matthew 19:6

"What God has joined together let no man put asunder."

5. Romans 12:9-10

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves."

6. Proverbs 31:10-11


"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain."

7. John 15:12

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

8. Mark 10:7-8

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh."

9. Proverbs 18:22

"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord."

10. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10


"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

Congratulations on your engagement, and remember to keep God close by for every step of the way.

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