This Is For The Girl In Love With Someone Else's Boyfriend
4588
views

Hi there,

I've been in your shoes more times than I'd like to admit. I've fallen for guys before their girlfriends fell for them and I stood on the sidelines while I watched their relationship bloom and blossom. It sucks, to say the least. I once fell really hard for this guy I met over the summer. Nothing happened between us and when school started, we both had to go our separate ways. When I saw him again, I realized that I still had feelings for him. Then I learned that he had recently eloped… So yeah, I don't really have the best track record.

So take it from someone who knows. I know it hurts to love someone who loves someone else. It hurts to watch him be with her, not you, to know that he's smiling at her, holding her, kissing her, and that you're hardly more than a blip on his monitor. All of that just makes you want to dig your heart out of your chest with a spoon, stake it, and throw it in the Potomac River. Okay, so maybe that's an exaggeration… but then again, maybe it's not.

So there you are, standing on the sidelines, watching the one person you devote all your time and energy to, devote all of his time and energy to someone else. So what do you do?

Do nothing.

That's right. I said it. Don't do anything.

Do not flirt with him. Do not try to steal him away from her. Do not confess your love even if you “think he should know." Do not sabotage her, do not trash her behind her back, do not do anything to spoil their relationship. That's selfish and it shows that you care more about yourself and your own happiness than his.If you break apart their relationship, you're not just going to be hurting the ex-girlfriend, you're going to hurt him too.

There are so many rom-coms that feature unfortunate love triangles where one guy starts with one girls and ends up with another. And they can be narrated two different ways. First, I love him with all my heart but he's with the wrong girl. That's probably how you feel right now. And yes, there are such things as bad relationships and “the wrong girl" but that doesn't justify your stealing him from her. If that's the situation, and he's getting hurt by a bad girlfriend, then you don't help him by flirting with him or picking up the rebound when the relationship does fall apart. You help him by being a kind and supportive friend. You can pick up the pieces when he gets hurt but don't put them back together to your advantage.

And second, I loved him with all my heart and she stole him from me.

Imagine you're the girlfriend, and you're with this amazing guy. And some other girl comes along and steals him away. And she probably does have genuine feelings for him. She didn't do it to be malicious or spiteful. She just saw everything that you saw in him. But it still kills you to know that he left you for her, and that she was selfish enough to get him to leave you for her. My point: do not be that girl. Do not be the girl that steals him away and leaves the ex-girlfriend crying and eating ice cream all day.

If it's meant to happen, it will eventually.

I know it hurts to watch them be together. I know you love him and he loves her. You may have loved him long before he ever laid eyes on her. But that does not make him yours. That does not give you the right to pursue him. That does not justify your ruining a perfectly happy relationship. I wish I could say something to make it hurt less. I know you want to make him smile. I know you want to make him laugh. I know you want to take stupid selfies with him, eat take-out together, and kiss him in the rain. I've been there more than once. But I promise it will get better. I promise that even if you don't end up with him, you'll end up with someone else.

And you won't have to hurt anyone to get there.

Cover Image Credit: Hello Giggles

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

20 Feelings You Probably Still Have When You See Your Ex

It's never really over.

121
views

Getting over an ex and moving on is HARD. We all felt at least one of these feelings:

1. You changed me 

2. You hurt me 

3. I still care, always will. 

4. I hate myself for caring still 

5. I still think of you 

6. I hate myself for thinking of you 

7. I know you are happier without me, and that hurts. 

8. I still feel like you are the one 

9. I want you back in my life

10. I don't want you back, I just miss the memories, I'm hurt. 

11. I wish you knew how I still cry over you 

12. You broke my heart and you don't even care 

13. I wonder if you even think of me

14. I will never find love because of you 

15. I feel damaged 

16. I don't want to fall in love anymore 

17. I would rather feel nothing 

18. I feel like I'm drowning in my own tears every time I see you

19. I want to be happy again, let me free, please. 

20. I deserve better, but you could of just been..BETTER. 

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

10 Guys Admit The Moment They Realized Their Relationship Was Doomed

If you know, you know.

289
views

It's not breaking news that you can just tell when your relationship is going downhill. Whether it's a mood change, a lack of wanting to be around each other, or a blatant fight, the signs are everywhere.

I sent out a survey asking guys to confess when they realized their relationship was bound to fail. Not necessarily a time stamp in the relationship duration where they realized this, but a realization that was prompted by something happening.

This is what they had to say.

1. The little things

"When she stopped smiling in our pictures."

2. Pretty obvious

"When she told me she wanted to break up with me."

3. Friends come first

"She made every excuse under the sun for not being able to be around when my friends were around and refused to meet my family, even after we'd been a thing for almost six months. Whenever I finally asked her about it, she changed the subject and adamantly refused to talk about it. So, I told her if she didn't want to meet my family yet, that was one thing. But if I had to choose between her or my friends, my friends win every time. So, we broke up."

4. Might want a restraining order

"When she broke into my home and I was woken up to her crying and yelling at me."

5. Red flags

"Talking to my partner started to fill me with dread and anxiety, texting was always just a series of miscommunications and fights and we only ever got along in person. There were so many flags that we were incompatible that I ignored throughout the relationship that all coalesced into a massive weight on my chest. Complaining to a close friend and hearing their advice was what finally tipped me off that waiting for things to change was going to get me absolutely nowhere, so I finally broke it off."

6. Communication is key

"Lack of respectful communication."

7. Hindsight is 20/20

"When she stopped texting me very often. The signs were there before but I was oblivious. 20/20 hindsight I guess."

8. Feeling's mutual

"My last relationship only ended because of long distance problems, and because I had to move. It was a mutual agreement."

9. Not enough time

"Neither of us had enough time for the other."

10. Not the right fit

"Our personalities really clashed. She kept participating in activities I wasn't really happy about and we fought about it a lot. We used to get along and be able to have a good time, but something happened I guess. She became a different person."

Responses have been edited for length or clarity.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments