Thank You To The Ex Who Gave Me What I Needed Instead Of Wanted

Thank You To The Ex Who Gave Me What I Needed Instead Of Wanted

Our chapter may be ending, but what I learned I'll always treasure


It's weird thinking of you as an ex. I didn't think that I'd ever be writing these words, but here I am.

When we met two months ago, I didn't know what to expect at first. You were entirely different than anyone I've ever been with. You blew those of my past out of the water with a simple sweep of your eyes as they locked with mine. I didn't think I'd fall so fast and so hard, but you made it effortless.

My type of guy always ends up being a fuckboy. Guys who don't want to put me first and only see me as an object to conquer before moving onto the next girl. Before you, I was losing my self worth with every passing second. I wanted to be with someone so badly that I let it destroy me. I took my anger and hurt at my situation out on those I loved and made my entire mood revolve around one person. We cared for one another, but where my feelings exceeded his lacked. Expectations can break your heart, and I broke my own because of them.

I dug myself in a dark pit, but you gave me a shovel to start removing the harsh earth of the past, in exchange for fresh air and light.

You showed me class. You paid for our first date, as well as many more, and opened every door for me without a second thought. You wanted to learn my story just as badly as I wanted to learn yours. Respect? You gave me loads of it. The level of comfort I felt with you was something I've never experienced before. I find it hard to trust anyone anymore, but with you, the trust came easily. I had such high hopes for what we could be. You were the kind of person I wanted to introduce to my family because you were everything they would have wanted for me.

But it just wasn't meant to be.

You chased your dreams and now they're happening at the expense of taking you away from home. When you've gone through so much heartbreak and pain, as soon a something pure and good finally comes along, you grasp on and don't want to let go. Letting you go was just as hard for you as it was for me.

I kept asking myself why God would introduce this amazing being into my life just to rip them away when it feels like my life was finally getting better?

God has a plan for you and he has one for me. I'm upset that this plan involves me losing you. I'm tired of being alone, knowing another girl is going to meet you one day, and get to experience all the joy you've brought into my life. That being said, the way we parted was in the most positive light I could ever hope for. There is no bad blood and there never will be. Long distance is something that we decided against, and although I would have tried, I knew it would have only hurt me in the long run.

You showed me what I need. I need someone who is willing to drive over an hour to see me, whether it's for two hours or a whole day, just because they miss me and want to be around me as much as possible. I need someone who can be transparent with me, and treat me with respect. You gave me the drive to push myself to excel in class, and I got almost all A's because of it. I used to want certain things, like a guy with a nice car and a lax boy flow. Superficial things that don't matter and won't ever matter again.

This relationship, despite its brevity, showed me a side of myself I thought I would never see again. I can see that my priority should be me, and I should never settle for anything but the best for myself. You want what is best for me, and of course, I want the same for you. You gave me what I needed to get back up on my feet. You didn't give me what I thought I wanted, and taught me more about myself in the short time we were together than anyone else has before. In life, we are meant to meet certain people that are here to shape us for our person.

Whether it's bad timing and we will meet again or I am meant for someone else, regardless, I now know what I need, and I can thank you for showing me.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

As Much As You May Want To, You'll Never Get Over Your First Love

You never forget your first


Your first love is just that: the first person you've ever truly loved (besides your family and friends). Maybe you've kissed a few people before, but with this person it's different. They mean something to you that no other person ever has before. Maybe you met this person when you were younger in high school or met them a little later in life as I did at the end of my first year of college. Meeting my first love transformed me, both for the good and the bad, and as much as I may want to, I'll never get over my first love and neither will you.

When we met, we didn't meet in some fantastical way, we met on Tinder right after a surprise breakup of mine. We had instant chemistry, and I didn't get to kiss him for weeks because I ended up getting mono right after the breakup (haha whoops). He was the first person I've ever kissed who I didn't want to stop kissing- ever. Yes, second semester freshman year me was super extra when it came to him, but being with him was so different than anyone else. Things progressed through the summer as we talked every single day, even though we never got to meet up because we were both busy, and at the beginning of my sophomore year, I lost my virginity to him. That was a big step for someone who thought she'd wait until she was married. He made sure I was fine and didn't push me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I'll treasure that forever.

He was someone I loved with all of my being, to the point where it was physically hurting me in the end because I knew what I felt wasn't going to ever be reciprocated the way I wanted it to be. That's when I had to end it, which was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To me, he was a boyfriend, but to him, I was a friend with benefits. I wanted something more and he wanted less, and I didn't want to accept that. I wasn't his first love but he was mine, which he doesn't know and probably never will. I have had moments where I thought I was over him, but then all the emotions flood right back. In hard moments of hurt is when I miss him the most, but also in moments of joy too. If I see a nice car I think of him, or of other little things, like a french bulldog or The Fast and The Furious.

Your first love leaves such a monumental effect on you as a person. They have seen parts of you others have not. You will always remember your firsts more than anything else, which is why your first love never leaves you. As roughly as things ended between he and I, he's always going to have a piece of me that no one else will ever have. The relationship we had wasn't what you'd expect from someone you call your first love, but his mark on me is what helped shape me into who I am today for better or for worse.

Don't let any negativity remain when it comes to your first love (if there is any). Let it go and remember the good. They will be a part of you forever, so you can never truly get over you.

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Why You Keep Falling In Love With People Who Don’t Love You Back In Your 20s

It's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.


Can love truly be both beautiful and heartbreaking?

It's a question I silently asked myself, sitting shotgun in a car next to someone I considered my friend.

A "friend" seemed to be the right label to define our relationship. To him, I was just a friend—who just happened to be a girl, a girl he texts regularly, jokes around, and can grab a drink with. And we loved each other as friends, because we both trusted each other, we had fun together and each had our own independent lives which would connect occasionally in a complete, non-questionable platonic way.

But slowly, for me, he was becoming everything I've ever wanted in a guy, standing right in front of me. But he wasn't mine to have.

And imagine being so close to someone you want except you can't have him because it might just ruin everything you've already shared together. Because what if you scare him away? What if he replies by telling you "No"?

That's the simple nature of falling in love with someone you can't be with.

In our early part of our lives—particularly in our 20s and during our college years, we all experience this type of heartbreak.

To name a few: A high school boyfriend who lives halfway across the country now. The hot guy you sit next to in lecture who already has a girlfriend. The casual hookup who you just can't manage to stop thinking about as you endlessly toss and turn at night. The platonic friend who doesn't quite see you as being something more.

We all at one point in our thoughts have imagined "coupling" or sharing a life with a guy who we can't seem to have for ourselves. We've always dreamt how things could actually work out if you actually shared your feelings with him except the closest we'll ever reach to it is in our dreams, not reality.

And to examine the logic behind why this happens, we have to first admit how we always want what we can't have.

Because it's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

So, it's not really this case of the whole Romeo and Juliet "star-crossed lovers" BS but rather, it's purely a one sided love which can most definitely be beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Beautiful because there's always a connection you feel which makes you all warm and bubbly inside but heartbreaking because you know this connection is merely flowing in a one way track.

So then, why do we tend to maintain our connections with these people who hurt us?

One reason is because you're afraid to lose him altogether. Perhaps you think he's going to go on full freak-out mode after you spill the beans to him. My piece of advice in this scenario would be to just suck it up and take the chance. Talk to him about how you feel because honestly, what's there to lose? Unless you're not reciting some sappy, over-the-top love story about how many kids you plan to have with him, you're fine.

But perhaps, the most common reason is because we assume he might eventually fall in love with us, too.

And if this pertains to you, gear up because I can write on for days about why this is a big no-no. Heck, I can probably teach a class or lecture to all of you about my elaborative theory of why you will definitely know whether a boy truly loves you or not. It's plain and simple—if he loves you, he'll make sure you know.

And you can't force someone to fall in love with you. Even if you pay them a million bucks, you can get them to pretend to love you or force them to be with you—but it's never going to be true love. Because true, unrequited love is effortless. It comes naturally. The fiery passion will be shared mutually and you won't ever have to question whether or not you belong with him.

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