Thank You To The Ex Who Gave Me What I Needed Instead Of Wanted

Thank You To The Ex Who Gave Me What I Needed Instead Of Wanted

Our chapter may be ending, but what I learned I'll always treasure


It's weird thinking of you as an ex. I didn't think that I'd ever be writing these words, but here I am.

When we met two months ago, I didn't know what to expect at first. You were entirely different than anyone I've ever been with. You blew those of my past out of the water with a simple sweep of your eyes as they locked with mine. I didn't think I'd fall so fast and so hard, but you made it effortless.

My type of guy always ends up being a fuckboy. Guys who don't want to put me first and only see me as an object to conquer before moving onto the next girl. Before you, I was losing my self worth with every passing second. I wanted to be with someone so badly that I let it destroy me. I took my anger and hurt at my situation out on those I loved and made my entire mood revolve around one person. We cared for one another, but where my feelings exceeded his lacked. Expectations can break your heart, and I broke my own because of them.

I dug myself in a dark pit, but you gave me a shovel to start removing the harsh earth of the past, in exchange for fresh air and light.

You showed me class. You paid for our first date, as well as many more, and opened every door for me without a second thought. You wanted to learn my story just as badly as I wanted to learn yours. Respect? You gave me loads of it. The level of comfort I felt with you was something I've never experienced before. I find it hard to trust anyone anymore, but with you, the trust came easily. I had such high hopes for what we could be. You were the kind of person I wanted to introduce to my family because you were everything they would have wanted for me.

But it just wasn't meant to be.

You chased your dreams and now they're happening at the expense of taking you away from home. When you've gone through so much heartbreak and pain, as soon a something pure and good finally comes along, you grasp on and don't want to let go. Letting you go was just as hard for you as it was for me.

I kept asking myself why God would introduce this amazing being into my life just to rip them away when it feels like my life was finally getting better?

God has a plan for you and he has one for me. I'm upset that this plan involves me losing you. I'm tired of being alone, knowing another girl is going to meet you one day, and get to experience all the joy you've brought into my life. That being said, the way we parted was in the most positive light I could ever hope for. There is no bad blood and there never will be. Long distance is something that we decided against, and although I would have tried, I knew it would have only hurt me in the long run.

You showed me what I need. I need someone who is willing to drive over an hour to see me, whether it's for two hours or a whole day, just because they miss me and want to be around me as much as possible. I need someone who can be transparent with me, and treat me with respect. You gave me the drive to push myself to excel in class, and I got almost all A's because of it. I used to want certain things, like a guy with a nice car and a lax boy flow. Superficial things that don't matter and won't ever matter again.

This relationship, despite its brevity, showed me a side of myself I thought I would never see again. I can see that my priority should be me, and I should never settle for anything but the best for myself. You want what is best for me, and of course, I want the same for you. You gave me what I needed to get back up on my feet. You didn't give me what I thought I wanted, and taught me more about myself in the short time we were together than anyone else has before. In life, we are meant to meet certain people that are here to shape us for our person.

Whether it's bad timing and we will meet again or I am meant for someone else, regardless, I now know what I need, and I can thank you for showing me.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To My Best Friend Dealing With A Broken Heart, We'll Get Through This Together

I can't actually fill that void.


To my best friend dealing with a broken heart,

It won't last forever.

Your heart, scratch that—you—will heal. You're already strong, but you'll become tougher. You're already smart, but you'll become wiser. You're already sexy, but you'll become even more irresistible.

And I'll be here the entire time. I can't wait to see who you become.

It won't be easy. I'm not going to sugar coat it and say that you'll be smiling and confidently strutting the streets by tomorrow. You have everything you need, but if your heart needs some time, take it. There's no rulebook. Honestly, I don't know how I got out of my rut, but I did and now I'm here. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I cried on end, but my support group–you–helped me through it one day at a time. Don't stress about what other people think—even me, forget my thoughts! Focus on you. What does your body need? What does your soul need?

I'm sorry. I wish I could take away this pain.

There's nothing that can compare to this feeling and I know I can't actually fill that void—no one can, other than you.

You never think it'll happen to you.

You had the future planned out. You shared your deepest darkest secrets. You both shared, I love you's and genuinely meant it. Of course, there were happy times. It was all real. I won't bash your ex unless you need me to (personally, I cringe anytime someone speaks badly of my ex... at the end of the day, I loved that man) but, just know, you did everything you could.

It wasn't meant to be and, one day, you will find your happily ever after. That love will be greater than anything you can ever imagine.

I'm not going to sit here and let you mope. The memories will never fade, but at this moment, forget about the past and the future, only the now. If you are angry, punch a wall, but steer away from feeling regret. Nothing in life is worth regretting over. It is all lessons-learned and adventures to remember later on.

This will pass and you will laugh about it. When I heard that for the first time, I wanted to scream, I could never laugh at the situation, but here I am now. You lost someone and that's never easy, but you've also gained so much experience.

You are gorgeous and breathtaking, you better start believing it because anyone would be so lucky to have you in their life.

Today, you start loving yourself.

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I Chose My College Because Of My Then-Boyfriend—We Broke Up, And Somehow I Have No Regrets

I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.


When you graduate high school while in a relationship, things can get a little tricky. If you're not from a college town or if you don't plan on attending the one near you, you're faced with some pretty big questions.

Is the relationship worth it? Can we do the whole "long distance" thing? How will it work?

Three years ago, I faced these questions with some uncertainty. My plan had always been to go out-of-state for college, to attend the big university of my dreams. I had applied there, and I even got accepted to enroll. It was a pretty big deal to me to achieve even a fraction of what I had dreamed of for so many years.

However, I had a boyfriend. It was a pretty serious one, since we'd been together for a couple years before I graduated high school. He was older, already in college. He came home pretty often since the college he attended wasn't horribly far from our hometown and we made it work.

When I got accepted to that far away college, things got uncomfortable. It was pretty obvious that he didn't want me to go there and wasn't a big fan of the thought of being a long distance couple. So, I compromised. I chose to apply to a college just under an hour away from our hometown, similar to what he did, so that we could continue to date. We were serious about each other, so I figured it was a sacrifice I could make for the long run. I wanted to make him happier by staying close by.

That didn't really work, though. Our personalities were painfully different, but this was only really highlighted in a negative way when I moved away. I was outgoing, involved, and loved to make friends. He was pretty much the opposite, and being older than me, he wasn't very interested in doing the things I wanted to do. He would come up to visit, but never wanted to interact with any of my friends or really do anything exciting at all besides sit in my dorm.

For the first two or so years that I was in college, we fought constantly. I didn't come home enough, I was too busy, and I was friends with people he wasn't fond of. I had a job, I was in a sorority, and I was involved in several other clubs, so my time was spread pretty thin. On the weekends, I would go out to parties totally sober for my friends but I'd get yelled at for being there at all. All of my actions were policed as if he was a father instead of a boyfriend. I was miserable.

I was afraid to talk about it publicly, but my friends knew how miserable I was and that the love had been gone for a long time. I was stuck at this university that I didn't really care about, that was too close to home for me to really feel like I had even left the nest at all.

After nearly two years of misery, I finally left that relationship. It pissed a lot of people off, especially the people back home who were friends with both of us. But they didn't know everything, just one side. That's OK, though. I really didn't care, because I was finally taking my life back.

I may have chosen to attend my university because it was closer to a boyfriend back home, but I love it even more now than when I started. I was able to become involved in campus activities and organizations without feeling guilty anymore. I was able to hang out with friends without being yelled at and tracked like a dog. I was able to enter a new relationship that was healthy, loving, and bettered my mental well-being instead of hurting it.

I've been able to fall in love with my campus all over again. It may be close to home and people I don't really care about anymore, but if I had gone out-of-state or anywhere else, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't be in my sorority, or in my current relationship. I wouldn't be the best version of myself that I've seen to date. I wouldn't be this strong woman who finally learned her worth.

I used to regret my decision to attend the college that I do, but I don't anymore. It's my home, and no one can take that away from me. Thanks to my university, I've been given opportunities to grow as a leader, as a student, and as a person. I'm not the person I was in high school three years ago, that's for damn sure, and I couldn't be happier about that.

I don't necessarily think everything happens for a reason, but I do think that choosing the college that I did was a pivotal moment in my life. My high school relationship might not have worked out, and sure, college was a factor, but I'm glad that it didn't. My life is mine now, and so is my college experience.

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