We have all fallen victim to ourselves on many occasions when it comes to relationships. The real killer in most potential relationships is OVERTHINKING. Now don’t overthink this post, this is all just coming from experience, this is for the woman who struggles to get past the awkward "so what are we" phase.
When I say overthinking I’m not talking about having a hard time figuring out where to go for dinner or being indecisive at all, although that can sometimes be overthinking’s most well-known sidekick. I’m talking about bringing your past relationships, or future relationships, into play when you should just be enjoying the person you are with.
Let me tell you something, not everything you feel is always justified just because you feel it. Some people say follow your heart, but fuck has my heart been wrong A LOT. I’ve gone on countless dates and listened to guys tell me how beautiful and perfect I am just for them to sleep with me, go out to dinner with me, take me as a wedding date and even invite me to hang out with their family, only to find out that they aren't "looking for anything serious.”
Here’s the thing, sometimes guys don’t know what they want. They do however know that they want sex. They also, sometimes, want the perks of a relationship, but the option to date whoever they want. I’m not going to tell you to be someone you aren’t to please a man, but if you like him don’t stress over who he is talking to or having sex with unless there is a committed relationship in place.
I can tell you one thing, if he is dating around and you are the one always yelling at him or constantly keeping tabs on him, you will NOT be the one he ends up spending all his extra time with.
This is not written to give men an excuse to mislead you and claim it was your fault because you were overthinking the situation. It is only to warn you to not let your mind get the best of you because we all know as women that our imagination is our worst enemy.
I get it your past relationships probably fucked you up pretty bad. You probably fell in love with a guy, and he told you he was in love with you as well. Then one day he decided that he didn’t feel that way anymore, so now you don’t know what to believe. And now you hold on super tight to all these new potential relationships out of fear of losing them, but honey you are strangling the life out of them. Just breathe. Yes, being heartbroken is not fun, but we deal, and survive every time.
Now not every guy is seeing multiple girls at once, but the advice is still the same when it comes to his passions and other priorities. Don’t smother him if you want to become one of them. Don’t let yourself overthink, what is meant to be will be.
If he checks all your boxes, but you fear he could be like all the rest, stop overthinking it. He deserves the same chance you gave all the others. And if he doesn’t check those boxes, then you owe him nothing.
Stop trying to figure out if you are good enough for him and start seeing if he is good enough for you.
You deserve it this time love, but don’t overthink, just enjoy the moment, hope for the best and if it ends, move forward.