Pelvic Floor Dysfunction Is More Common Than You Think And It's The Reason Sex Can Be So Painful
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Losing your virginity comes with a flood of different emotions like excitement, fear, happiness, oh, and pain. Wow did you not expect the pain, but you heard it's supposed to hurt a lot less the second time, and every other time after.

Only, for you, it's painful every single time, you tense up and don't know why. Your partner tells you just to relax, but it's not that easy, and it feels like it's something you can't control. Why does this happen? I might just have an answer for it, and a way to make it better.

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. Pelvic what now?

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, according to a blog written by the Florida Hospital, "refers to a wide range of disorders that occur when muscles of the pelvic floor are weak, tight or torn." Ouch. The pelvic floor muscles keep your organs in place, and when they are weakened, you can develop PFD. The range of symptoms can go from the strong frequent urge to urinate, painful periods and difficulty with going a number two. The symptom I found most surprising was painful intercourse.

This isn't something my gyno ever talked to me about or even my regular doctor. I literally just found out this existed, and it makes a lot of sense in terms of the issues a lot of women, in particular, have with their sex lives.

Definitely do not pull a me and self-diagnose, talk to your gyno. I have researched a good chunk of ways that this issue can be fixed, or at least made more bearable. We deserve a sex life that doesn't involve pain to the extent we experience it, it's time to be liberated ladies!

Try doing yoga. Three out of four women surveyed said their sex lives improved in all aspects due to doing yoga. Yoga relaxes you, which is where the benefits of a better sex life come from. You can try yoga in a class, or even watch a video on Youtube and teach yourself.

Kegel exercises are another thing to try. Kegel is when you contract and relax the muscles of your pelvic floor, where your uterus and bladder are held in place. The goal is to give your muscles a toned effect, and this can result in reducing pain (yay) during sex, being aware of yourself climaxing/ having a better orgasm (HELLO) and helping with urinary incontinence too. The basics are pretending you're holding your pee when you really have to go. Do this for two to three seconds on an empty bladder and then release. Once you get the hang of it, do about five sets of ten reps a day, and await the improvements.

There is also pelvic floor physical therapy you can try. The International Society for Sexual Medicine says you are "taught how to contract and relax pelvic floor muscles in relation to other muscles and breathing and timing techniques to make the exercises more effective. These exercises can stretch tight muscles, strengthen weak ones, and improve flexibility." Other forms of therapy include self-education, manual therapy, pelvic floor biofeedback, electronic simulation, and vaginal dilators. I know some of those terms sound like a foreign language, so I'm linking the website for you all to check out.

In terms of sex positions, it's honestly up to you and how you feel. Experiment with what feels good and what doesn't feel so good. If you have a solid man in your life, he'll do whatever he can to make sure you feel the best you can. Use a pillow under your pelvis and have him hit it from behind, because sis, it makes the world of a difference compared to the lovely standard missionary. That's something I've heard helps. Cosmopolitan has done a fabulous job of listing five positions you should try if sex hurts, and I hope they work and feel as great as they look.

To all my ladies who experience painful sex on the regular, I feel you, and we deserve better. Talk to your gyno about what you're experiencing, and don't let any guy tell you to "relax and stop tensing up." Have some great sex!

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

What It's Like Being A 20-Year-Old Virgin In The 21st Century

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.
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Sex. The topic we only spoke of in hushed tones in the past has quickly become a part of our everyday interactions. It seems to be the center of our motivations, thoughts, actions, and feelings. This is the reason I don't feel uncomfortable dedicating this week's article to the subject. Now, mom and dad, if you're reading this, I won't be offended if you stop. I'd actually be quite happy. Everybody else, do me a favor and ask yourself this:

What does it mean to be a virgin in today's society?

There is a social stigma associated with being a virgin. We're all prudes, are mega-religious, and have never even thought about what it would be like to share a night with Ryan Gosling. Right? Wrong. I promise you the majority of virgins you'll meet are virgins by choice - not because their moms have them chained to a metal post with their legs strapped shut. I've been racking my brain about questions and concerns and the million-dollar-question I have for y'all is: If it's no big deal to have sex, then why is it a big deal not to have sex? I mean really, whose business is it anyway?

I feel the criticism from my own doctor at times. She'd ask, "Are you sexually active?" I'd respond with a lightening fast "No", which she'd follow with a quick sigh and an even quicker response, "Have you ever been sexually active?" Unreal.

In a culture so consumed by "Netflix and chill" and the infamous right swipe, it's hard not to constantly wonder when (and with who) my time will come. It's almost like we're racing against the clock of chastity. I wonder if Marie Curie, Rosa Parks, or Amelia Earhart worried about who'd swipe their V-card as much as I do? Probably not, they were too busy making the world a better place.

I can't go a day without hearing about sex, talking about sex, or honestly... thinking about sex (sorry, dad). I remember a time when it was "shocking" to discover anybody was having sex and now it's "shocking" to discover anybody isn't. The reactions I get when people discover I still hold the key to my innocence aren't only mildly insulting but sad. When did it become shameful to be a virgin? I'm only 20 years old. I've only lived 1/4 of my life and in no means do I feel rushed to get down and dirty.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't plan for my life to go this way. Shocker, but my Magic 8-Ball didn't prepare me for this. I am a huge supporter of doing what you want, when you want, and with whom you want to do it with. Hell, half of my friends aren't virgins and I'm happy for them. They were with someone they loved (or at least liked) and made a choice. I've made a choice too. I am evolving with the world around me and taking life one wine bottle at a time. I don't want to settle for less than I deserve. I want somebody who loves me, respects me, and understands where I'm coming from.

I'm prepared to deal with the douchebags and the nobody losers who can't deal with the decision I've made equally as much as I'm prepared to meet the guy who can.

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.

Cover Image Credit: Bustle

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I Asked People The Weirdest Thing To Happen To Them During Sex And This Is What They Said

Like having certain things blow up in your face.
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I was watching "Friends" and they were asking each other about sex and making fun of each other for weird quirks.

I began to think about what people in this generation would say so I polled them, and boy, the responses were hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

Of course, names will be left out and you should know that this stuff happens to EVERYONE. It's normal and this is NOT meant to shame anyone. It's for humor and to make others feel comfortable about the weird things that happen during sex.

1. Having certain things blow up in your face.

"He had a funny facial expression and I thought he was well, you know. Then 0.2 seconds later he sneezed on my face."

Nope, not that.

2. In sickness and in health.

"We both came down with a cold. We decided to have sex anyway, and I think we both fell asleep in the middle of it because we woke up in the middle of the night naked and he still had the condom on. Then I'm pretty sure we tried AGAIN and either fell asleep again or just gave up at that point."

I mean, horny is horny.

3. Finding the perfect balance to your relationship.

"We have to move from the bed to the floor a lot right in the middle because both our beds are super squeaky and we both have roommates!"

A bed, sofa, table, or a floor...anywhere is a good place to let your wild side go. But the floor or couch is the best if you have loud sex. Just saying.

4. A moment to release...things.

"Pausing to fart."

Hey! Everyone does it!

5. Taking time to spend quality time together, no matter what (who?) you are doing.

"Stopped to laugh at the emoji movie playing in the background that we turned on so we wouldn't wake his uncle sleeping down the hall."

I mean, the movie was funny. James Corden was in it.

6. Nothing like a tongue punch to the fart box.

"Eating out their butthole and actually enjoying it."

Well, OK then. You never know what you'll like until you, apparently, try it.

7. Remembering to lock your phone from now on.

"Before we started having sex, I was laying down and watching videos on Facebook. One thing led to another and while it was happening, one of us accidentally touched my phone (I didn't lock it when things started up) and random noises started playing from the video I was watching. We both started cracking up and just couldn't go any further. I definitely will remember to lock my phone from now on."

At least she didn't pocket dial her phone and call her mom.

8. The other body fluids during sex.

"Drooling on him during sex."

And that's not the only thing that gets everywhere.

9. Moaning, groaning, and other noises.

"Making weird, comedic noises at each other."

On top of the none comedic ones. I hope no one was home and if they were I hope you explained things to them.

10. Shouting the wrong (or right) name.

"At the moment of climax, I (drunkenly) yelled, 'Prince Zuko' in my best Uncle Iroh voice. 'Prince Zuko' has since become a codeword...for stuff."

This is my personal favorite because it's hilarious and I love "Avatar: The Last Airbender."

11. Trying to staunch the flow and cock block a bit.

"Calling him 'daddy' if he is about to come too quickly (he hates it so it calms him down)."

Hey, you need some orgasms too, and if a word gets him a little soft then I say go for it.

12. Man-splaining at the worst moment, ever.

"He lectured me on piston-cylinder assemblies as we f*cked and differences between male and female orgasms as he came."

Ummm...I hope it was good sex, at least? If not, then at least you learned something new. Guess you really do learn things in the most unlikely of places.

13. The right kind of relationship involves laughing and more noises.

"Burped, its actually hilarious. We just stop and look at each other and start laughing. Ladies, get you a man who doesn't care if you burp during sex."

I support burping during sex.

14. Taking the good kind of break.

"Pausing to have a conversation in the middle."

Hey, everyone needs a few seconds to catch their breath.

15. Wait...before I forget!

"Pausing to remind them about something so you don't forget by the end."

It's usually something dumb or about what happened to you during the day, but it seemed important in the moment!

So just know that the weird things you guys do during a good sex session are totally normal, even if at the time they seem abnormal and embarrassing.

**Responses were edited for clarity and/or length.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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