Pelvic Floor Dysfunction Is More Common Than You Think And It's The Reason Sex Can Be So Painful
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Losing your virginity comes with a flood of different emotions like excitement, fear, happiness, oh, and pain. Wow did you not expect the pain, but you heard it's supposed to hurt a lot less the second time, and every other time after.

Only, for you, it's painful every single time, you tense up and don't know why. Your partner tells you just to relax, but it's not that easy, and it feels like it's something you can't control. Why does this happen? I might just have an answer for it, and a way to make it better.

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. Pelvic what now?

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, according to a blog written by the Florida Hospital, "refers to a wide range of disorders that occur when muscles of the pelvic floor are weak, tight or torn." Ouch. The pelvic floor muscles keep your organs in place, and when they are weakened, you can develop PFD. The range of symptoms can go from the strong frequent urge to urinate, painful periods and difficulty with going a number two. The symptom I found most surprising was painful intercourse.

This isn't something my gyno ever talked to me about or even my regular doctor. I literally just found out this existed, and it makes a lot of sense in terms of the issues a lot of women, in particular, have with their sex lives.

Definitely do not pull a me and self-diagnose, talk to your gyno. I have researched a good chunk of ways that this issue can be fixed, or at least made more bearable. We deserve a sex life that doesn't involve pain to the extent we experience it, it's time to be liberated ladies!

Try doing yoga. Three out of four women surveyed said their sex lives improved in all aspects due to doing yoga. Yoga relaxes you, which is where the benefits of a better sex life come from. You can try yoga in a class, or even watch a video on Youtube and teach yourself.

Kegel exercises are another thing to try. Kegel is when you contract and relax the muscles of your pelvic floor, where your uterus and bladder are held in place. The goal is to give your muscles a toned effect, and this can result in reducing pain (yay) during sex, being aware of yourself climaxing/ having a better orgasm (HELLO) and helping with urinary incontinence too. The basics are pretending you're holding your pee when you really have to go. Do this for two to three seconds on an empty bladder and then release. Once you get the hang of it, do about five sets of ten reps a day, and await the improvements.

There is also pelvic floor physical therapy you can try. The International Society for Sexual Medicine says you are "taught how to contract and relax pelvic floor muscles in relation to other muscles and breathing and timing techniques to make the exercises more effective. These exercises can stretch tight muscles, strengthen weak ones, and improve flexibility." Other forms of therapy include self-education, manual therapy, pelvic floor biofeedback, electronic simulation, and vaginal dilators. I know some of those terms sound like a foreign language, so I'm linking the website for you all to check out.

In terms of sex positions, it's honestly up to you and how you feel. Experiment with what feels good and what doesn't feel so good. If you have a solid man in your life, he'll do whatever he can to make sure you feel the best you can. Use a pillow under your pelvis and have him hit it from behind, because sis, it makes the world of a difference compared to the lovely standard missionary. That's something I've heard helps. Cosmopolitan has done a fabulous job of listing five positions you should try if sex hurts, and I hope they work and feel as great as they look.

To all my ladies who experience painful sex on the regular, I feel you, and we deserve better. Talk to your gyno about what you're experiencing, and don't let any guy tell you to "relax and stop tensing up." Have some great sex!

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

How Much Do You REALLY Know About Contracting STDs? Take This Quiz To Test Yourself

Time to find out how much you really know.

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I don't care what anyone says, safe sex is better than unprotected sex. There are a ton of myths regarding sex, STDs, and germs. It's time to learn the facts. Be kind to your body and protect it. Be honest with yourself and a partner. Even if it's a one night stand, STDs should be on your mind–don't let it be a turnoff. STDs have been on the rise and "The United States continues to have the highest STD rates in the industrialized world." This is your wake-up call.





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My Parents Didn’t Tell Me To Stay Pure Until Marriage, I Made That Decision On My Own

So, please respect my decision.

tiannat
tiannat
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As we evolve into a more open and accepting world, the one thing that is getting less taboo is sex. It's not something that is talked about behind closed doors. It's something that is on the television screens and easily accessible on our phones. People talk about it and promote it like it's small talk. It's so hard to escape, especially as a young adult.

To say that I am staying pure until marriage is a very uncommon thing, at least in my opinion. Sure, I have friends who are in the same boat as I am. But, even at a Christian college, sex is everywhere and most people are partaking in it. However, I decided to not.

Growing up, my parents never told me to stay pure until marriage directly. I went to church and heard about it in sermons. I knew that by keeping myself pure until marriage, I would enjoy it more knowing that I waited for my future husband. I understand that some people may not agree with me on this topic, but here's why I am saving myself.

1. I want to know that the man loves me.

For me, I want to have sex with someone that I love. Now, you may defend this with the fact that your boyfriend loves you. That's great. But, dating isn't always a sure thing. Boys (and girls) can say that they love you, just to get in your pants. And, they will. It happens all the time. And, because you are blinded by love, you will end up giving in and doing it. But, see, I don't want to be blinded by love. I want to know that the person I am with, is with me forever. By making the biggest commitment aka marriage, that is a clear sign that they love me and want me forever. This is a good example of actions show more than words do. They can say they love me, but when they showcase that love, that's when I know it is real.

2. I want to give all of me to one person.

I heard this great example my senior year that discusses this exact thing. For someone like Hugh Hefner, who was with HUNDREDS of women, when he got older, he said he didn't feel anything anymore when it came to sex. He was numbed by the whole experience. It wasn't pleasurable or for love. By having sex with countless women, he had given a little part of himself to each of them, until he had nothing left. Therefore, by saving myself for one person, they would be getting all of me. As a whole. 100%. This is special because no one else has that except for my future husband.

3. The idea of getting pregnant scares me because of the lack of security.

For the past three generations in my family, they have all had children young. 15, to 17, to 20 years old. Blinded by love. Manipulated by their hormones. They had sex and got pregnant. To see not only 1 woman, but 3 women in my life go through that, I know how difficult it is. You're a kid yourself. Personally, I do want children. However, I have so many dreams and goals for myself. I want to graduate from college. Get a good career. Travel. Fall in love. A lot of that can be halted by a child. I don't know if I would get to achieve everything I want to, especially if I would have to raise the child alone (which usually happens). So, by waiting for marriage, I am using the biggest form of birth control.

4. There's no comparing, if you have only been with one person.

Now, this is different for every relationship. However, everyone feels insecure or uncomfortable when it comes to dating and relationships. Knowing that someone has had sex prior, you wonder if you are shaping up or doing better than the previous. By only having sex with one person, it relieves the stress of comparison.

5. It brings me closer to God.

One important lesson I have learned from friends, college, and personal experience, is that relationships (when it isn't built on God), you tend to stray away from Him. Therefore, by making my relationship with God stronger, I fall in love with Him first. Then, I am capable of loving a boy and committing to something like marriage and sex.

So, no, my parents never convinced me to stay pure until marriage. It was my own decision. I have reasoning for staying pure and it's my choice. So, please stop shaming virginity in the 21st century, because I'm not shaming you if you aren't one.

tiannat
tiannat

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