Pelvic Floor Dysfunction Is More Common Than You Think And It's The Reason Sex Can Be So Painful
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Losing your virginity comes with a flood of different emotions like excitement, fear, happiness, oh, and pain. Wow did you not expect the pain, but you heard it's supposed to hurt a lot less the second time, and every other time after.

Only, for you, it's painful every single time, you tense up and don't know why. Your partner tells you just to relax, but it's not that easy, and it feels like it's something you can't control. Why does this happen? I might just have an answer for it, and a way to make it better.

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. Pelvic what now?

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, according to a blog written by the Florida Hospital, "refers to a wide range of disorders that occur when muscles of the pelvic floor are weak, tight or torn." Ouch. The pelvic floor muscles keep your organs in place, and when they are weakened, you can develop PFD. The range of symptoms can go from the strong frequent urge to urinate, painful periods and difficulty with going a number two. The symptom I found most surprising was painful intercourse.

This isn't something my gyno ever talked to me about or even my regular doctor. I literally just found out this existed, and it makes a lot of sense in terms of the issues a lot of women, in particular, have with their sex lives.

Definitely do not pull a me and self-diagnose, talk to your gyno. I have researched a good chunk of ways that this issue can be fixed, or at least made more bearable. We deserve a sex life that doesn't involve pain to the extent we experience it, it's time to be liberated ladies!

Try doing yoga. Three out of four women surveyed said their sex lives improved in all aspects due to doing yoga. Yoga relaxes you, which is where the benefits of a better sex life come from. You can try yoga in a class, or even watch a video on Youtube and teach yourself.

Kegel exercises are another thing to try. Kegel is when you contract and relax the muscles of your pelvic floor, where your uterus and bladder are held in place. The goal is to give your muscles a toned effect, and this can result in reducing pain (yay) during sex, being aware of yourself climaxing/ having a better orgasm (HELLO) and helping with urinary incontinence too. The basics are pretending you're holding your pee when you really have to go. Do this for two to three seconds on an empty bladder and then release. Once you get the hang of it, do about five sets of ten reps a day, and await the improvements.

There is also pelvic floor physical therapy you can try. The International Society for Sexual Medicine says you are "taught how to contract and relax pelvic floor muscles in relation to other muscles and breathing and timing techniques to make the exercises more effective. These exercises can stretch tight muscles, strengthen weak ones, and improve flexibility." Other forms of therapy include self-education, manual therapy, pelvic floor biofeedback, electronic simulation, and vaginal dilators. I know some of those terms sound like a foreign language, so I'm linking the website for you all to check out.

In terms of sex positions, it's honestly up to you and how you feel. Experiment with what feels good and what doesn't feel so good. If you have a solid man in your life, he'll do whatever he can to make sure you feel the best you can. Use a pillow under your pelvis and have him hit it from behind, because sis, it makes the world of a difference compared to the lovely standard missionary. That's something I've heard helps. Cosmopolitan has done a fabulous job of listing five positions you should try if sex hurts, and I hope they work and feel as great as they look.

To all my ladies who experience painful sex on the regular, I feel you, and we deserve better. Talk to your gyno about what you're experiencing, and don't let any guy tell you to "relax and stop tensing up." Have some great sex!

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

23 Guys Admit The Type Of Sexts They’d Actually Like To Receive

I don't even know where to begin.

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There are firsts for everything and it's your time to play around with sexting and phone sex. It may feel intimidating, silly, or embarrassing having to be on your toes to figure out a clever, sultry response, but don't overanalyze it. Just type what your body craves.

Be daring and take the leap to send the first sext. Once the mood is set, you're good to go and even if you're stuck, take all the time you need to send a reply—you're texting, after all.

If you're not exactly sure what to say, here are 23 responses from guys on what they'd actually like to receive:

1. This isn't porn

"I wish I received sexts that were real. Not this fake 'build a fantasy that is like porn' stuff. I just wish they were showing they wanted me. I wish they weren't the stereotypical sexts that you could find in any fan fiction or raunchy teen novel. That makes the mood vanish and I feel like they don't actually want me and just need to get off" – age 19

2. Boobs, boobies, tatas, tits, the twins

"Hey big chungus ;)) you sexy bae" – age 21

3. Abs-olutely

"Maybe an abs pic, but that's it" – age 19

4. No fun

"None" – age 18

5. It's all about the climb

"I prefer sexting that builds up: cute flirting that takes a turn. I have never really been a fan of unexpected nudes, they're cool every so often but can be inappropriate at the wrong times. If I am playing back, then go for it, but if it's out of the blue, it will be appreciated but not as much as girls may think" – age 20

6. You're on my mind

"Random dick pics without context can be kinda jarring. Honestly, I'd be happy with a shirtless pic. Or a video of him masturbating with a 'thinking of you message'" – age 21

7. Remember "Titanic"

"I want you to draw me like one of your French girls" – age 23

8. This makes me uncomfortable

"Clever shit that makes your pussy pop" - age 19

9. All of the toes or just one?

"My greatest desire is to receive some toe sexts" – age 18

10. I feel like I have to apologize to this guy

"None. Literally none. Get off your fucking phone and go talk to someone and maybe actually have some sort of physical contact for a change" – age 19

11. This guy knows what's up

"Consensual" – age 21

12. The vulva?

"Yoni" – age 21

13. Bringing the fire to the table

"It's not what you say but the energy you bring to the table. People like different things. What's important is bringing energy, passion, lust to the sext. Don't say, 'I'd like that' or 'That's hot.' Say, 'I really fucking want that right now.' Same message different intensity" – age 20

14. And the special sauce?

"I have Chick-fil-A for you" – age 22

15. Gym bro

"I want to go to the gym with you and do the hardest, longest workout you've ever done" – age 23

16. He knows what he wants

"1. Your dinner will be on the bed when you get home. Don't keep me waiting. 2. Fill me up tonight. All my entrances are yours to play with my love. 3. Can't wait to taste you tonight. 4. I found a cute couple for us to play with later. You will love her ass." – age 28

17.  Everyone loves a good butt

"Booty pics! Also of bodies and chests." – age 18

18. When did 'daddy' become mainstream?

"I want you inside me, daddy and I want you to cum all over me." – age 17

19. Anything goes

"I don't really care, anything under the sun. Butt pics are nice tbh lol." – age 20

20. Exquisite taste

"A suggestive nude with melted chocolate dripping down her body and sliced strawberries on her nipple with a condensed milk drizzle." – age 22

21. The perfect pair

"I wrote you a love letter and bought you McDonalds nuggets, I'm on my way." – age 18

22. Words > pictures

"Flirty but not vulgar, and especially no photos." – age 19

23.  I was bound to get one of these

"Send nudes." – age 18

These responses have been lightly edited for length or clarity.

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14 Hookup No-No's Girls Do That Will Have Guys Missing Their Own Hand

College guys get real about what they don't like when it comes to hooking up on campus.

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When it comes to complaining, guys usually don't have any negatives about getting laid, but after speaking with different guys on college campuses, they shared a few gripes about sex.

Here are 14 different guys' least favorite thing about sex:

1. Using too much teeth

"Sex is too good to have something to complain about, but I hate when a girl uses too much teeth." - 22, single

Ever bitten your own tongue? The pain that hits you feels like hell and you ask yourself why it even happened. Imagine that frustration while having sex. No dude wants to feel your sharp teeth chiseling away at his penis.

"Shit feels like sandpaper rubbing against your tip. It just hurts." - 19, single

2. When there is little effort given

"If y'all don't want to have sex, then don't do it. I can tell when you're half-assing it because I'm not having fun." - 21, single

You don't turn in a paper half-written, and you don't send text messages without words. So, don't put in half the effort when you're getting it on. If you're not into it, neither will he.

"Girls get your hopes up talking all big, then when it's time to step up and show me what she can do, she doesn't." - 21, single

3. The ending

"I don't know who can complain about sex, if you can, then I don't what kind of sex you're having." - 22, single

Hey Alexa, play" Moment 4 Life" by Nicki Minaj.

It's simple, men like sex and if there was a replay button for their favorite moments during sex, then the button would be worn thin.

4. Dry head

"Not all girls know how to get sloppy with it, they don't use enough spit." - 20, single

Cotton mouth isn't cute. There is no way either parties can enjoy the moment because one person's mouth is as dry as the Sahara Desert and the other person is dealing with the friction.

5. The clean up

"You have to do laundry in the middle of the night because you're all sweaty and the sheets are dirty, but you just want to go to bed." - 20, single

You are exhausted and all ready for bed, but now you have to get up and do laundry because of the mess that has been made. You enjoyed it while it last, but now it's back to reality.

6. Being quiet

"I feel bored, I need you to make noise or I'm going to feel like I'm doing something bad." - 20, single

You don't go to a concert and stand in silence so don't hold back during sex. Let out everything your feeling and let him know he is doing everything right.

7. The smell of latex condoms

"They smell like burnt ass rubber and like Auto Zone." - 19, single

You're riding the wave and next thing you know a whiff of chemicals blows across your nose. Having sex is an organic moment between two parties, sometimes the smell of condoms are distracting and take away from the pleasure.

8. Wearing protection

"Condoms don't feel good, they take out the feeling." - 20, single

It's more fun when he can feel everything inside. They want to take in the entire experience, from feeling, to taste, and even smell. Without feeling comes less sensation and even less satisfaction.

SEE ALSO: 8 Excuses To Use To Get Out Of Wearing A Condom

9. Being the main force for thrusting

"We're the ones who have to do all the thrusting, forward-back, forward-back, shit we get tired too." - 20, single

Next time ladies when you think you're putting in all the work, remember, the guy is the main one who has to constantly thrust and do it at a pace you enjoy.

10. Overextending your stay

"You came over for one thing, the M.O. (main objective) is completed, so you need to go." - 19, single

You don't have to go home, but you have to get out of his house. If you know you're a one night stand, don't expect it to be like a scene off of "Pretty Woman." As much as you don't want to do the walk of shame, he does not want you there.

11. Timing when to pull out

"There's always that moment when you got to think 'did I pull out?'" - 20, single

You know when you are popping a bag of popcorn and you don't want it to burn, but you also want to make sure you don't leave too many kernels, so now you have to end the microwave at just the right moment. Men have to enjoy the climax as long as they can before the tiny baby making sperm decide to change location.

12. Finding out the squad already smashed

"If she follows more than five of my teammates, issa no for me dog." - 19, single

Guys don't feel special when they know you have already smashed all of their friends. No one wants a homie hopper.

"I don't like sharing females." - 21, single

13. If she leaves any clothing on

"I understand if you're a little self-conscious, but if I want to fuck you then I'm already cool with your body." - 21, single

Guys don't see your body the way you do. You have something he wants and he could care less about your insecurities. No guy is going to pick apart your body after they have already gotten you undressed.

"I'm already hard, so I don't care." - 20, single

14. Having to take her home 

"I have to give you this work and now I have to take you home, yeah I can't stand having to do that." - 19, single

After a hookup, the last thing you want to do is have an awkward car ride home. All you can think about is the nasty stuff you just did, and have nothing to say.

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