I Messaged 12 Guys On Bumble Using Only Phoebe Buffay Quotes And It Was The Best Worst Idea Ever

I Messaged 12 Guys On Bumble Using Only Phoebe Buffay Quotes And It Was The Best Worst Idea Ever

The one where telling a guy you hear voices in your head isn't a huge turn off...


Swiping right is the fun part of online dating, but once it comes to thinking of a good pickup line it's easy to resort to an unoriginal "hiii (-:" or to overthink it until your match eventually expires.

I don't know if it was the buzz from my margarita, or my friends hyping me up, but I decided to let Phoebe Buffay take over my Bumble. Two (maybe three) drinks later and I started sending my matches the most off-the-wall Phoebe quotes I could find.

The results? A mix between hilarious and concerning...

Jake from *spank* Farm.

I don't know if I should be concerned that this guy wants to hook up with someone who openly admits to hearing voices or impressed that he isn't buying into the stigma of mental illness. Either way I am not "trying to go out this weekend."

Freakin' Fred...

*Completely disregards the fact I introduced myself as Regina Phalange when my profile says Allyson.*

The straight to the point guy.

This guy is like, "Okay bang... ask questions later." Later he was like, "Sooooo you tryna be wined and dined." I am "tryna" unmatch with you.

Honesty is the best policy. 

I honestly laughed so hard at this guy's response.

Don't knock it until you've tried it.

Little does he know he probably has already been with a girl who views him as meat. It's 2018, Heath.

I'm brunette... it's fine.

Phoebe has game.

Grandma's don't go to the vet, Ryann.

Who spells Ryann with two n's? Guys who think grandmother's go to the vet. That's who.

Robert is so concerned.

Robert. I am talking shit on your crotch.

The one with the intellectual boner. 

We are really weeding out the sex addicts here.

Reed... what a sweetheart.

I might actually let him buy me dinner. I'll keep y'all posted.

When you find a Ross you just have to...

I was dying to find a Ross to match with so I could say this... And look. He was about it.

I have been caught.

It was fun while it lasted.

Phoebe Buffay didn't disappoint. Not only does she have mad game (probably cause she says weirdly sexual things), but every single guy responded no matter how off the wall the quote was. This just goes to show that you can send almost anything and guys will still try to have a good conversation. This experiment was entertaining, to say the least, but most importantly it gave me the confidence to step outside of the box and strike up a conversation with something more original than just "hi."

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Sorry Boys, But I Won’t Be That Girl Who Waits Around For You Anymore

Just because I know my worth doesn't mean I should have to wait around for you to realize it too.


I'm like most girls. I am such a hopeless romantic when it comes to dating and all that jazz. With that being said, I have also been the type of girl who has waited around for that guy once or twice (OK let's be real, one too many times).

I am a nice person and a lot of my friends know that I have a kind heart. You can do me dirty and I will forgive you. When it came to guys they could have led me on or ghosted me and later on came back out of nowhere and apologized, more than likely I would have given them a second chance at redemption.

I waited around for that guy to either realize how great we would be together or realize how great of a girl I was. All of my friends would tell me how great I was and how worthy I was but in the end, they weren't the ones I wanted to hear that from. Which was why I waited around and thought up of an excuse to defend the guy I was waiting around for.

The older I got the more I realized how silly I was for waiting around for a guy who probably did not appreciate me the way I should have been appreciated. I realized that I was much better than that and I made a promise that I would stop waiting around. Of course, I did slip up here and there (I mean, I am only human after all).

It wasn't until I was beyond over the male species that I realize how ridiculous I was being for crying over someone who stopped talking to me without rhyme or reason. That was the moment that I realized how worthy I was of a great relationship. A relationship that you see in movies or see in old couples who have been married for 65 years.

I decided I was no longer going to be THAT girl who waited around for a guy. I was no longer going to defend him when my friends asked me why I was still talking to him. I was no longer going to wait around for him to realize how worthy I was. Ever since I promised myself that I was going to live MY best life I have been beyond happy.

Yeah sometimes I say to myself "he was different" but then I remind myself that if he truly cared for me the way I cared for him then I would not have to wait around. He would not only pursue me but also my heart.

So ladies, realize your worth. Stop waiting around for that guy to come to the conclusion how amazing you are. You are a queen and if he can't see that right off the bat, he is NOT worth your time. Wear your crown with your head held high, live your best life, and slay the day away, queen.


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You’re Not Going To Meet Someone On Your Couch Watching Netflix, So Get Your Ass Up

Dating isn't easy, but getting off the couch shouldn't be too hard.


I don't mean to come off as harsh.

The words are directed at me just as much as they are anyone else. Dating isn't easy, especially when most of us have been out of practice. Even as an extroverted person, the idea of striking up a conversation with an attractive guy makes me anxious. If you are fine with being single then this article isn't for you but for the rest of us who want to change our stagnant relationship status, keep on reading.

Dating has changed drastically since our parents' days. In-person conversations have shifted to words on screens, while dinners and drive-in movie theaters have turned into "Netflix and chill." While some of us might be OK with these casual meetings, others want to be wooed. No matter what kind of relationship you're looking for, I can tell you that you aren't going to find it while laying on your couch. Starting something new is stressful and nerve-wracking, but you have to start somewhere. Sometimes we need to get out of our comfort zones in order to put ourselves in a situation to meet someone new. Whether it's a house party, a nice night out with your girls, or maybe even an invite to study with a new group of friends, these all have the possibility of you putting yourself out there.

There is the potential to meet someone new anywhere: the library, the grocery store, or even in class. While it's important to put yourself out there, don't put so much pressure on everyone you meet. Some people are meant to just be friends, while others have the possibility to be so much more. If you try and it doesn't work out with one person, don't beat yourself up — maybe it wasn't meant to be, or the timing just wasn't right. All I'm trying to say is that you will never know what's out there if you don't get off the couch. I've had a lot of heartbreak in my life and sometimes I think that stops me from trying something new. It's hard to come to terms with that you might be what's stopping you from having a relationship with somebody. We need to remind ourselves that we deserve to be loved and be happy, and a healthy romantic relationship can give us that, we just have to be willing to try.

So strike up a conversation with the cute guy in your English class. Text the boy who you've always wondered "what if." Flirt with the guy who you make eye contact with across the bar. Or don't. The choice is yours. Sitting on the couch hasn't been working for you though, so you might as well try something new.

If you're truly content with being single, I'm happy for you. Keep watching Netflix on your couch, don't let me stop you. But for everyone else who wants to change their relationship status, pause the show, close the laptop or turn off the TV. Try something new, even though it's scary. I'm not saying a boyfriend will just fall into your lap, but it certainly doesn't hurt to try.

Someone could be out there waiting for you, all you have to do is get off the damn couch.

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