As A College Girl In 2019, I'd Take My Platonic Relationship Over Anything Else

As A College Girl In 2019, I'd Take My Platonic Relationship Over Anything Else

Sometimes your true love actually is just your best friend, and it can be the best.

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Platonic love. It's something that is getting rarer every day. Finding a real connection with anyone, in general, these days is getting rarer too. With the sexualization of today's society and the stereotypes of friendships and relationships, it is hard sometimes to get to know someone simply for who they are without physical attributes or attraction getting in the way.

But, I think few people realize the benefits that come from finding a true love that is completely platonic. However, some might say if you can make this kind of relationship work for you, it is even better than romance.

A user on Urban Dictionary defines platonic love as "a deep connection between two people with no sexual desire or attachment." Personally, I have experienced this connection with a very select number of my closest friends. In my opinion, platonic love goes beyond just friendship.

It is a love that is so deep and meaningful that you would pretty much do anything for that person, and you feel like they know you better than you even know yourself. Like a romantic partner, you may even get the "butterflies in your stomach" feeling when you think about them, but it is not because of sexual attraction or desire. It's just the overwhelming feeling of love you have for that person.

People will argue that platonic love isn't real; that you can't truly have that deep of a connection with someone without experiencing some kind of romantic or sexual attraction. I think this is completely false, as I've experienced it firsthand. The first person that comes to mind when I think about platonic love is my friend Travis.

To be honest, the word "friend" seems much too vague, and almost devaluing for the connection we have. We sometimes joke about being soulmates. But in reality? It's not that far off. The pool of people I've come across in my life that I've connected with on such a level is minuscule.

Travis is so much more to me than a friend, however, there has never been and never will be any kind of physical or carnal desire. Our kind of relationship is rare, but it works, and it is probably the healthiest relationship I've ever had with anyone.

Platonic love has so many benefits. First of all, you can talk about absolutely anything. This includes romantic interests. Travis and I often vent about our romantic ventures and can gush or complain about them to each other without it ever being weird. (Plus you always have someone to go crying to after a breakup.)

Secondly, you never have to worry about whether or not you are enough for your partner physically or sexually, because that aspect of attraction is eliminated completely. On that note, you never have to worry about breaking up, either. You might have fights, but if your love connection is strong enough, you will always be able to get through them. Sorry, Travis, you're stuck with me forever.

In my opinion, platonic love tends to be a more open and honest relationship than a romantic one. Both parties truly feel like they can share anything, and completely be themselves. The reason for this, I think, is because neither person feels as if they need to impress or court the other, because romantic involvement isn't even an option. You never feel like you have to "win" their affections.

There are even health benefits to maintaining a healthy platonic relationship. It has been scientifically shown to decrease health risks to have love in your life, romantic or otherwise. It can lower blood pressure, cholesterol, depression, and anxiety. Platonic love can also eliminate the stresses of being in a romantic relationship that might not be so healthy, such as one where there are thoughts of cheating or abuse.

Finally, one of the most important benefits of functioning platonic relationships is unconditional love. According to betterhelp.com, unconditional love is quite rare and not typically present in romantic relationships. It is the idea that no matter what you do, nothing will stop the person from loving you, and nothing will cause them to leave. This is the kind of love families have for each other, and the way our pets feel about us.

Travis sent me a poem the other day called "on platonic love being a real thing." It was written by Sabrina Beinam, who is a genius and a hugely inspiring poet. There are a few lines in this poem that stood out to me. One of them says, "I think about each relationship sitting at the table / how we trust each other / with our whole bodies / how that's love / now, isn't that love?"

Platonic relationships are not for everyone, but they are for me and have numerous benefits for your health and psychological well-being. I don't know where I'd be without the small group of people I share this kind of connection with.

I have been fortunate enough to find some of the best people to share my life with, without ever being romantically involved. When I do find someone I want to be with romantically someday, these people will still remain a large part of my life. They are a part of who I am, and they make me a better person. Unconditional love doesn't die, and neither will these relationships.

Now, isn't that love?

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin

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Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.

xoxo,

The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

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Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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