As A College Girl In 2019, I'd Take My Platonic Relationship Over Anything Else

As A College Girl In 2019, I'd Take My Platonic Relationship Over Anything Else

Sometimes your true love actually is just your best friend, and it can be the best.

746
views

Platonic love. It's something that is getting rarer every day. Finding a real connection with anyone, in general, these days is getting rarer too. With the sexualization of today's society and the stereotypes of friendships and relationships, it is hard sometimes to get to know someone simply for who they are without physical attributes or attraction getting in the way.

But, I think few people realize the benefits that come from finding a true love that is completely platonic. However, some might say if you can make this kind of relationship work for you, it is even better than romance.

A user on Urban Dictionary defines platonic love as "a deep connection between two people with no sexual desire or attachment." Personally, I have experienced this connection with a very select number of my closest friends. In my opinion, platonic love goes beyond just friendship.

It is a love that is so deep and meaningful that you would pretty much do anything for that person, and you feel like they know you better than you even know yourself. Like a romantic partner, you may even get the "butterflies in your stomach" feeling when you think about them, but it is not because of sexual attraction or desire. It's just the overwhelming feeling of love you have for that person.

People will argue that platonic love isn't real; that you can't truly have that deep of a connection with someone without experiencing some kind of romantic or sexual attraction. I think this is completely false, as I've experienced it firsthand. The first person that comes to mind when I think about platonic love is my friend Travis.

To be honest, the word "friend" seems much too vague, and almost devaluing for the connection we have. We sometimes joke about being soulmates. But in reality? It's not that far off. The pool of people I've come across in my life that I've connected with on such a level is minuscule.

Travis is so much more to me than a friend, however, there has never been and never will be any kind of physical or carnal desire. Our kind of relationship is rare, but it works, and it is probably the healthiest relationship I've ever had with anyone.

Platonic love has so many benefits. First of all, you can talk about absolutely anything. This includes romantic interests. Travis and I often vent about our romantic ventures and can gush or complain about them to each other without it ever being weird. (Plus you always have someone to go crying to after a breakup.)

Secondly, you never have to worry about whether or not you are enough for your partner physically or sexually, because that aspect of attraction is eliminated completely. On that note, you never have to worry about breaking up, either. You might have fights, but if your love connection is strong enough, you will always be able to get through them. Sorry, Travis, you're stuck with me forever.

In my opinion, platonic love tends to be a more open and honest relationship than a romantic one. Both parties truly feel like they can share anything, and completely be themselves. The reason for this, I think, is because neither person feels as if they need to impress or court the other, because romantic involvement isn't even an option. You never feel like you have to "win" their affections.

There are even health benefits to maintaining a healthy platonic relationship. It has been scientifically shown to decrease health risks to have love in your life, romantic or otherwise. It can lower blood pressure, cholesterol, depression, and anxiety. Platonic love can also eliminate the stresses of being in a romantic relationship that might not be so healthy, such as one where there are thoughts of cheating or abuse.

Finally, one of the most important benefits of functioning platonic relationships is unconditional love. According to betterhelp.com, unconditional love is quite rare and not typically present in romantic relationships. It is the idea that no matter what you do, nothing will stop the person from loving you, and nothing will cause them to leave. This is the kind of love families have for each other, and the way our pets feel about us.

Travis sent me a poem the other day called "on platonic love being a real thing." It was written by Sabrina Beinam, who is a genius and a hugely inspiring poet. There are a few lines in this poem that stood out to me. One of them says, "I think about each relationship sitting at the table / how we trust each other / with our whole bodies / how that's love / now, isn't that love?"

Platonic relationships are not for everyone, but they are for me and have numerous benefits for your health and psychological well-being. I don't know where I'd be without the small group of people I share this kind of connection with.

I have been fortunate enough to find some of the best people to share my life with, without ever being romantically involved. When I do find someone I want to be with romantically someday, these people will still remain a large part of my life. They are a part of who I am, and they make me a better person. Unconditional love doesn't die, and neither will these relationships.

Now, isn't that love?

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Things My Significant Other MUST Do In Order To Earn The Privilege Of Meeting My Mom

I say "Hakuna Matata" on the daily, but you really need to say it when you prepare to meet my mom.

1715
views

Besides getting married, meeting the parents can be the most stressful time in any relationship. Your boyfriend could be freaking out because he doesn't want to sound like a loon in front of your dad or your mom may be chopping the vegetables a little too loudly making your girlfriend seem uncomfortable in the presence of a knife. Stressing for days (maybe even weeks) up until the day arrives is apart of being in love because you want your parents to love your significant other just as much as you do and when the dinner is finally over, you can breathe again. My family is a little different and my boyfriend has to do these things to be able to meet my mom and my brother (may as well add my cousins into the mix, too because they're my older siblings).

1. Pass the "Best Friends Test"

I have 6 best friends and each one of them has a unique personality. There's the momma friend, the crazy friend, the questionable friend, the laid back friend, the turnt friend, and the friend who just wants me to be happy. If they don't like you, I'll talk to them to figure out why they don't like you. Either way, if you hurt me, they'll hurt you.

2. Prove that stability is your main priority five years from now, even if I'm not in your plan

Things happen and we can't predict everything. We can be together now, break up in a year, and then get back together. It's part of being a teenager/young adult. We deal with a lot, I mean, we're in college, but the older we get, the more stressful life gets, so I want you to show me that you can handle whatever stresses come your way. I want you to be stable on your own before adding a girlfriend into the mix.

3. Deal with my "Hunger Fits"

Let's face it, I can be a brat, but I'm only a brat on three occasions.

1. I'm sleepy.

2. You didn't let me get my way.

3. I'm hungry.

If you eat without me or go get food without me, I might cry and pout like a two-year-old, so you have to be able to handle it. Pro-tip, have snacks with you whenever we go somewhere.

4. Be okay with getting roasted

My cousins are the funniest people you'll ever meet, but they aren't afraid to talk about you while you sit in front of them, so I need to know that you're okay with being roasted. They're not doing it to be mean (trust me, they aren't), but they're doing it because they're my family and they care about me as if I were their little sister.

5. Be able to hold an intelligent conversation for more than 5 minutes

Good conversation is an essential part of a relationship and I love talking about things that are happening in the world today and because my mom is super knowledgeable on a lot of things, you have to be able to talk for more than 5 minutes about something that's engaging.

6. Remain calm in the face of a difficult conversation

I know when it came to certain topics, I used to go off like a volcano, but I've had to grow out of exploding on people just because they don't agree with me. It takes months, maybe even years to master that type of patience and self-restraint, but I grew up fast, so I needed to learn in less than a year how to hold my tongue. I need to know that if you and I (or someone in my family) were to be in a serious conversation, you'd remain calm. I won't blow up on you, so please don't blow up on me (or my family) because then it might not end so well.

7. State your opinion, no matter how mad I might get

Following up with number six, this is a must! I'm a writer, so I deal with a lot of written opinions on the daily. I'm also involved in a lot of organizations where open dialogue is encouraged, so I deal with a lot of verbal opinions, too. People are going to say what they want to say no matter what and I want you to be able to tell me what's on your mind no matter how severe it may be. I'm here for you and I want you to know that you can trust me with your opinions. I might not agree with them, but I can deal with them.

8. Be able to sit and talk about sports and video games with my brother

You'll for sure meet my older brother before you meet my mom only because he acts just like my late grandfather; calm and laid back. He goes with the flow and doesn't get upset unless I get upset, so you don't have to worry about the big bad overprotective brother (but he is very big and very overprotective). He'd much rather sit and talk about "fork-knife" or a basketball game than grill you. It's just how he is. Also, don't be offended if he engages in conversation with you for like ten minutes before he loses interest in talking to you and goes back to playing his game.

9. Be okay and open to the possibility of a long distance relationship

I don't plan on staying down South for long. I actually won't stay here after I graduate from college. Long distance relationships don't work for 40% of all couples, but I want us to not be a statistic. I believe that we could make it, so I would need to know that you'd be okay with me being a thousand miles away; and of course, if you were halfway across the country, I would learn to be okay with it, too.

10. Love your family as much as you love me

Family is a big deal for me. It's always been me, my older brother, and my mom. You may come from a household where it's you and both of your parents, you and one parent, or you, your parent(s), and your siblings. I love my mom and brother with all of my heart and would drop anything (and I have dropped things) to be with them. I want to see that you love your family with the same amount of love that you give me. A man who loves the family he is born into will love the family he marries into.

My family's triangle has never been broken before, so this is new territory for all of us. Don't feel like an outsider, though! These may seem extensive and extra, but it's the things that matter to me. Aside from the apparent trustworthiness, loyalty, wanting three pets, having a sense of humor, and education that I look for in a guy, you have to do these ten things to meet my mom.

If you pass all of these, then you get to meet her. Don't stress about it though because if she doesn't like you at the first meeting, she'll come around by the next because she loves me and she'll see that I love you.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

To The Parents Who Raised The Man Of My Dreams, It Paid Off

You did a phenomenal job.

3724
views

As a parent, you always wonder if you're doing it right. Parenting doesn't come with instructions. You're not told how to punish your children in every situation or what to do whenever they accomplish something. You're not completely prepared for it. However, for someone without instructions, you did a phenomenal job.

You raised the man of my dreams.

I've dated throughout my teens and every guy seemed to be the same, but with your son everything was different. Your son is everything I've ever wanted. He is perfect. He is such a gentleman. I want you to know everything you taught him like holding the door and paying for dates, it worked.

I want you to know he doesn't show anger towards me. I'm sure I aggravate him and make him angry, but I want you to know I'll never know when I've done so because he doesn't show it. He gets mad with football games and after he gets done yelling, he apologizes.

He makes me feel beautiful. He has seen me at my absolute worse. He has seen me right when I wake up in the morning with no makeup and my hair is a mess and he tells me I'm beautiful. Whenever so get dressed up, he notices. He makes sure to let me know I look beautiful. He pays attention to detail like that my hair is curled or I have a new nose ring in and he adds them in with the compliments.

He is always supportive. Whenever I started back to school, he was so proud of me. When I started writing for The Odyssey, he shared my articles. He will tell me how proud he is of me. When I make good grades on assignments, he tells me good job.

He is so loving. He comforts me whenever I'm sick. When I had the stomach bug, he got my medicine, trashcans, and played with my hair to comfort me. He brushes and straightens my hair for me whenever I don't feel like it because he wants it to look good.

Thanks to you I have found someone who treats me wonderful. If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't know how to treat a lady. It is because of you that he turned out to be nice and respectful man he is today. I want you to know you did an amazing job raising him. He's everything I've ever wanted. Thank you for raising him to be such a gentleman. Thank you for raising him to be everything I've ever dreamed of.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments