As A College Girl In 2019, I'd Take My Platonic Relationship Over Anything Else

As A College Girl In 2019, I'd Take My Platonic Relationship Over Anything Else

Sometimes your true love actually is just your best friend, and it can be the best.

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Platonic love. It's something that is getting rarer every day. Finding a real connection with anyone, in general, these days is getting rarer too. With the sexualization of today's society and the stereotypes of friendships and relationships, it is hard sometimes to get to know someone simply for who they are without physical attributes or attraction getting in the way.

But, I think few people realize the benefits that come from finding a true love that is completely platonic. However, some might say if you can make this kind of relationship work for you, it is even better than romance.

A user on Urban Dictionary defines platonic love as "a deep connection between two people with no sexual desire or attachment." Personally, I have experienced this connection with a very select number of my closest friends. In my opinion, platonic love goes beyond just friendship.

It is a love that is so deep and meaningful that you would pretty much do anything for that person, and you feel like they know you better than you even know yourself. Like a romantic partner, you may even get the "butterflies in your stomach" feeling when you think about them, but it is not because of sexual attraction or desire. It's just the overwhelming feeling of love you have for that person.

People will argue that platonic love isn't real; that you can't truly have that deep of a connection with someone without experiencing some kind of romantic or sexual attraction. I think this is completely false, as I've experienced it firsthand. The first person that comes to mind when I think about platonic love is my friend Travis.

To be honest, the word "friend" seems much too vague, and almost devaluing for the connection we have. We sometimes joke about being soulmates. But in reality? It's not that far off. The pool of people I've come across in my life that I've connected with on such a level is minuscule.

Travis is so much more to me than a friend, however, there has never been and never will be any kind of physical or carnal desire. Our kind of relationship is rare, but it works, and it is probably the healthiest relationship I've ever had with anyone.

Platonic love has so many benefits. First of all, you can talk about absolutely anything. This includes romantic interests. Travis and I often vent about our romantic ventures and can gush or complain about them to each other without it ever being weird. (Plus you always have someone to go crying to after a breakup.)

Secondly, you never have to worry about whether or not you are enough for your partner physically or sexually, because that aspect of attraction is eliminated completely. On that note, you never have to worry about breaking up, either. You might have fights, but if your love connection is strong enough, you will always be able to get through them. Sorry, Travis, you're stuck with me forever.

In my opinion, platonic love tends to be a more open and honest relationship than a romantic one. Both parties truly feel like they can share anything, and completely be themselves. The reason for this, I think, is because neither person feels as if they need to impress or court the other, because romantic involvement isn't even an option. You never feel like you have to "win" their affections.

There are even health benefits to maintaining a healthy platonic relationship. It has been scientifically shown to decrease health risks to have love in your life, romantic or otherwise. It can lower blood pressure, cholesterol, depression, and anxiety. Platonic love can also eliminate the stresses of being in a romantic relationship that might not be so healthy, such as one where there are thoughts of cheating or abuse.

Finally, one of the most important benefits of functioning platonic relationships is unconditional love. According to betterhelp.com, unconditional love is quite rare and not typically present in romantic relationships. It is the idea that no matter what you do, nothing will stop the person from loving you, and nothing will cause them to leave. This is the kind of love families have for each other, and the way our pets feel about us.

Travis sent me a poem the other day called "on platonic love being a real thing." It was written by Sabrina Beinam, who is a genius and a hugely inspiring poet. There are a few lines in this poem that stood out to me. One of them says, "I think about each relationship sitting at the table / how we trust each other / with our whole bodies / how that's love / now, isn't that love?"

Platonic relationships are not for everyone, but they are for me and have numerous benefits for your health and psychological well-being. I don't know where I'd be without the small group of people I share this kind of connection with.

I have been fortunate enough to find some of the best people to share my life with, without ever being romantically involved. When I do find someone I want to be with romantically someday, these people will still remain a large part of my life. They are a part of who I am, and they make me a better person. Unconditional love doesn't die, and neither will these relationships.

Now, isn't that love?

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Asked 25 Girls What They Would Do If They Got Pregnant In College

Whatever you decided, I applaud you.
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Pregnancy and college just seriously do not mix together. There are only a few people that can financially and emotionally afford to bring a human into this world at such a young age. And for that, I applaud them.

I wanted to get some more understanding on what women in college would do if they were culture-shocked with a positive pregnancy test, and here is what I found:

1. Supportive fam squad - Age 20

"I would keep the baby and figure out how to raise it on my own. I have a very supportive family so I know that they would have my back in the end."

You're one of the lucky ones, baby girl. Not too many people are blessed with family members that are willing to support their child's/sister's/ brother's every move. We can see this is many of the other responses (it's quite sad actually):

Age 19: "I actually had a bit of a scare this month so I already thought this through... I would drop out of school and get a job. Hopefully, continue with some night classes at a community college but I would need to get a job. My parents already told me years ago that they would cut me off if I got pregnant. I would need to get my own place too. I would seek out different services (like Good Counsel Homes). Once I had the baby, I would put it up for adoption in hopes of giving the child a better future."

Age 20: "I would handle it with my parents and see what they said about what I should do. I would talk to my boyfriend and see how he felt after everything is talked about I would see if we should put the kid up for adoption. I wouldn't want to ruin the kid's future and life if I wasn't ready for a baby. Although it's bad and wrong to abort, I would have to do what's best."

2. Abortion — no questions asked - Age 20

“I would get an abortion because I know that I cannot financially or emotionally take care of a child at this age. I want to continue my education and get a well-paying job, have a social life, and take care of myself. I cannot do that while pregnant."

Because the most mature thing is to admit when you aren't ready. I applaud you for that Miss. Anonymous — you are a different breed of woman. Thank you. Here are some other ladies that agree with her:

Age 20 - “Having a child is a blessing because some girls can't. But therefore I'd have to have an abortion due to the fact that I wouldn't be able to handle that also because I'm not ready to be a mother."

Keepin' it short and simple:

From two 20-year-olds- "Get an abortion," and "Abortion."

Age 19 - "Plan B/Abortion."

Age 18 - “I wouldn't have the baby, and wouldn't lose my education."

Age 21 - “Probably get an abortion because I'm just starting my life."


3. Babies after marriage ONLY - Age 22

“My boyfriend is terrified of getting pregnant out of wedlock, it's not that we're uncommitted it's just he has a big fear not being able to afford a child. I told myself and my girlfriends if it ever were to happen I would get an abortion and never tell him to protect him from making that hard decision. I'm not proud of it, but I do believe it is the most mature thing to do for us."

Religion is definitely a factor when having a baby. I agree with the fact that babies should only come after you've been married —sometimes it's a fear that having a child when you're not ready can cause the relationship to crumble.

4. My boyfriend's decision matters too - Age 20

“Cry, but come up with a plan and talk it out with my boyfriend."

And YASS girl, because it's his child too! I applaud your willingness to talk it out with your S.O. You're definitely not the only one! Check these responses out:

“Keep the baby! My partner and I have discussed what we would do if it were to happen and both agree to keep the child."

5. It would depend on who I'm dating - Age 23

“It would depend on the relationship I'm in. If it's strong, I'd do my best to give the baby a great life. If I wasn't in a relationship at all, I'd really have to consider my options, abortion, adoption, etc."

Say no more, girlfriend, I'm 100% with you on this, and look, some other girls are too!

Age 21 - “I would keep it if it's with my current boyfriend. I would try my best to manage school and a baby!"

6. Keep it, duh - Age 20

“Probably cry, first. Then, tell my mom and ask for her advice. I would likely keep the child. I might want to halt my relationship with the baby's father (assuming he's my boyfriend) so we could be co-parents and not risk something breaking us up."

A different approach, but definitely not a bad one. Here are some ladies that agree with you, and would 100% keep it for themselves.

Age 23 - “I'd keep it. I'd be happy. I always wanted to be a mom and being so close to graduation, it actually would be a really great thing."

From three 18-year-olds - “Have the baby and go to school concurrently.“

“Most likely keep it. Continue degree from home at a local community college."

“I would have the baby, but would probably take off two years or so to work and prepare."

From a few 20-year-olds - “Have the baby," and "I would keep it."

“Continue working hard in school and never give up no matter how hard it may be."

"I would move back home and have the baby. "

7. Adoption would be an option - Age 20

“I would try to stay in school as long as I could and then take some time off when it got closer to the pregnancy, depending on what time of year it was. I would not get an abortion, I would still have the baby but I am not sure if I would keep it or give it up for adoption. It would probably depend on whether or not I was in a relationship with the father of the child."

Give the baby the best life possible, even if that might be the best life isn't with me.

From two 19-year-olds: “Abortion or adoption," and “Keep the baby and either raise it with help from family or give it up for adoption."

All in all, everyone's views are different. I hope that if you are ever in this position you choose what's not only best for you mentally and physically, your partner, and most importantly for the human you will (or will not) bring into this world.

And, always, always, ALWAYS...

practice safe sex.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Dating A Girl With Anxiety Is An Emotional Investment That's More Than Worth Your Time

Be honest and trustworthy, it will mean the world to her.

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As someone with anxiety it is safe to say that trusting someone, much less your significant other, is not the easiest of tasks. Regardless of how much I want to trust someone it is still difficult. Someone with anxiety needs reassurance, on the regular, that you still like them. They will constantly apologize for situations that were not their fault; do not let them blame themselves.

When dating a girl with anxiety, she will support you and be there for you, but will have trouble expressing or communicating to you how much you actually mean to her. Just remember she appreciates you, and she is trying.

Often times, dating a girl with anxiety also comes with a generous helping of the depression that usually tags along. Keep this in mind. If you are out somewhere with her and she stops talking, just know she does want to be there. She will need days away from you, although she may have a fear of being alone at times. She will also need days with you.

There will be nights where she does not sleep; there will be days where that is all she does. Some days she will do absolutely nothing, and others she will try to accomplish the impossible. Despite what she ends up doing for the day, she will never feel as though she has conquered enough. These maybe things she has not told you or you have yet to figured out, but that's why I'm here to tell you.

She tries relentlessly to trust you, although her dating history has been a toxic mess. She tends to keep to herself, but she also needs people to understand her.

Occasionally she will have good days. Occasionally she will have days where she has horrible anxiety attacks. Please be there for her during both. She does want you there, despite what it may seem. She cares about you, she just is not the best at expressing it.

Tell her how you feel about the relationship. Tell her how you feel about her. If you think she is beautiful, tell her. If you want to spend time with her, please tell her. Make the changes so that you are comfortable, but so her feelings are also validated. She will overthink and assume the worst; let her know that everything's going to be ok.

She cares and appreciates you. She will always have your back and support you whenever necessary. Remember this during her worst days.

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