Maybe you're engaged and the happiest human ever, filled to the brim with excitement and business towards wedding planning. Maybe you're on year one of dating, but you've discussed the future and know this is who you want to spend the rest of your life with. I've been there. Both of those places. And I want to remind you to ponder a couple of things.
First, I want you to check yourself and make sure your love isn't based on feeling. I also want you to make sure your love isn't based on status. And I say this because my first college relationship was fun and it made me feel like I was the "in crowd" or I looked cool walking around campus hand in hand with him. Needless to say, that didn't last...probably cause status and feelings fade.
Next, I want you to imagine a couple years down the road, financially your budget is tight, you're struggling to make ends meet, he's frustrated and you two get into a fight. Do you genuinely see it resolving quickly? Will you be able to hug it out and choose him above it all? Will he take responsibility as the man of the house and work to make things better? Because these things are REAL. They're not "young love happiness and butterflies 24/7" and they're more real than any petty arguments you may be having now about how he didn't text you back.
Then I want you to ask yourself the last time he apologized. Drawing a blank? That's not good. Life is messy, miscommunication is inevitable, and humility is required for strength and growth in a relationship. If he can't instantly and genuinely apologizes when he hurts you in the slightest, then I'd be concerned.
Lastly, picture your family. Will he spend time with his kids after work or go straight to the sofa and TV? Will he prioritize you STILL? Does he prioritize you now? Will he lead always and fall on his knees often? Right now, is he a model for your future son? Marriage isn't just a decision you make for yourself, it's a decision you make for your future children, too.
I only want you to stop and ask yourself these questions because the divorce rate is so high right now and I don't want you to add to it. I want you to understand the weight, depth, and length marriage is supposed to hold and I want you to be happy beyond today. So before you marry him, stop and ask yourself these questions.