Being in a relationship is hard as hell. But, being in love with someone is also the most rewarding and happiest feelings that you could ever put yourself though.
If you're young, you're often bombarded with the statements that you're losing the best years of your life, or that you're too young to know what love is.
If you're starting to believe that maybe you're not the happiest you can be, it's super important to understand that it's perfectly normal, you're not alone. We can figure this out together.
Here are what questions you should ask yourself before you decide to break up with your long-term significant other:
1. Am I the happiest I can be with my S.O.?
Well, are you? This is super important when you're in a relationship. You usually are always thinking about the happiness of your partner rather than yourself. It's important to take a step back and look at in from the outside in. You need to be selfish, and think about your own happiness, before theirs. Is being with them obstructing from being genuinely happy? Do you feel like you're being blocked from being the happiest you can be? Maybe it is time to rethink your relationship.
2. Does my S.O support my goals like I want them to?
What are you aspirations in life? What do you hope to reach in a year? in a month? in a day? in the next few minutes? Is your partner cheering you on? Do they support whatever you want to do with your life? You need to make sure that they are rooting for you to win, not to lose. You'll be surprised how many things you'll realized when asking yourself this question. It's not just about your long term goals, it's about your short term goals too! Are they there for those too?
3. Do their goals line up with mine?
It's not just about your goals- it's about theirs too. Do their goals align with what you believe in? Can you see yourself openly supporting their goals and wanting them to win full throttle? It's important that you're not putting on a front for them to make them happy. If you honestly don't believe that they can do it, or that you don't agree with what they want to do you need to let them go and find someone that might. You might be the toxic one here.
How do they make me feel when they're around?
Wow. I seriously don't want to take this one lightly. This is a question many people in relationships fail to ask themselves. Someone can make you feel great about yourself if they are good looking or attractive but, if you feel terrible about yourself you might want to rethink putting yourself through another month of a relationship. If someone is supportive, instead of controlling then you're going to feel good about yourself. Being in a space that makes you feel bad about yourself is not a good space to put yourself in.
5. Am I growing in this relationship?
Growth is mad important in a relationship some people think that change in a relationship is bad, but it't not at all. Do yourself a huge favor think about where you were before this relationship started. Are you the same person you were? Did you like that person. Now think about yourself now, where did you notice that change? Is it a good place? Is there where you want to be? And if you see no growth what-so-ever then you need to get out, now.
6. What do I want out of this relationship?
Did you want this to just be a lesson learned, or do you want this to be the real deal? What were your exceptions with being with this person, what were your expectations after a year? Did your relationship fit those expectations?
7. Have I tried everything I could to save this relationship?
Is this just something you're pulling out of the blue? Did you even end up talking to them about your hesitation? You want to make sure you gave your partner enough time to try and fix what's wrong. Or that you at least spoke about it to them and you're not just pulling a wild card. I think it's fair to give them a warning, right?
8. Do you see a future with your S.O.?
And what exactly is that future? Do you see yourself married with a few kids? Or do you see yourself as friends? Or nothing at all? If you genuinely see this person on the other side of the aisle then you should probably stick it out, or take a break or have coffee and talk about each of these questions. And, well, if you don't then it's best for you to part your ways and continue the journey of finding a love or your purpose in this life.
9. Could it be me?
I wouldn't completely blame your partner for everything. Sometimes you have to realize that you could be the problem, think back to your years together was there anything that made your partner unhappy? Can you pin-point when this distance started or when you started feeling this way? Sometimes you have to take the blame for your actions, and maybe dust off your shoulders and try another run at it again.
10. Can I handle the single life?
Are you going to be OK without them?
Relationships are nasty, people are stressed the heck out with jobs, family, and everyday life. Some people just need a breather, need to take a step back. It's important you don't do something you might regret in the long run.
Either way, you'll find someone. There's a somebody for everyone.