Sex should be fun, but it also should be safe. I've said it before and I'll say it again, safe sex is good sex. Your health is on the line and you only have one body. Before you get yourself into a sticky situation, talk to your partner and protect yourself.
You don't have to be in a long-term relationship for communication to be key!
Grow up and let go of your ego, we can all get hurt. We are all curious creators and have questions that we want to ask, but sometimes we don't because we are shy or don't want to come off as weird. I'm here to tell you to ask before it's too late.
Here are 11 questions to start off with:
1. When was the last time you were tested?
You don't know your status until you have been tested. Depending on your sexual activity, one should be getting tested every 3-12 months – yup, this includes you.
2. What were you tested for?
HIV? STIs? Other STDs?
3. Are you on birth control? Or, what form of protection will we use?
No glove, no love.
4. Are you comfortable with this?
Always ask for verbal consent and note their tone of voice – an enthusiastic, "Yes!" is not the same as a wary, "Yeah..."
5. What are you looking for?
Define the relationship. Something casual? Something serious? A friends with benefits type of deal? Whatever it is, know what you are getting your body and heart into.
6. Have you ever had an STD?
It's good to know how long ago the outbreak was, what treatment was used, and what precautions will be taken this time around.
7. Do you want to try this position? Are there any limits?
This goes under consent, but always ask a partner what their limits are. Don't do butt stuff without asking if they are comfortable with it. Ask if there is anything they don't like, they do like, or they are curious to try.
8. Are you seeing anyone else?
Again, DTR and be clear with your intentions.
9. What are your fantasies?
You may not be comfortable asking or answering this right off the bat, but this could be something to ask once you get to know one another more or, if you're like me, ask away.
10. What do you want me to do?
I just can't stress consent enough.
11. Is this your first time?
You'd want to know, no?
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