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5 Reasons Friends With Benefits Relationships Are Actually Not So Friendly

Calling myself out on this one, not gonna lie.

Mary Gonzalez

Mar 15, 2020

The Narrative

5 Reasons Friends With Benefits Relationships Are Actually Not So Friendly

Ksenia French on Unsplash

According to Urban Dictionary, friends-with-benefits are "two friends who trust each other enough to engage in sexual activity without fear of hurting the other's feelings." This kind of relationship can be extremely toxic and can ruin a person's view on love forever. Here's why...

It ruins the friendship.

The second you bring sex into the question is the second that the relationship goes from strictly platonic to a blurred mess. You're constantly second-guessing their motives, and if they actually still care about you as a friend and as a person, or if they just care about your body.

Someone always catches feelings.

It is literal science that chemicals release in your brain that cause you to become attached to a person when you have sex with them. Do that over and over, and then combine it with "friendship," you're bound to catch feelings for your friend-with-benefits, and chances are they either don't like you back like that, or they don't want a serious relationship.

Jealousy is inevitable.

Even if you don't want a relationship with your friend-with-benefits, it's still going to piss you off to see them flirting with other people. Just because you don't want them like that doesn't mean you want them to be with anyone else, right?

It'll end at some point.

A friends-with-benefits relationship will not last forever. Every single one of them has an expiration date. So why even bother? You're closing yourself off from something better. While focusing all your time and energy into this relationship, you could be missing an amazing, real relationship that's passing you by.

It won't end in friendship.

Unless you're a robot, you're not going to come out of this unscathed. Whether you got your heartbroken, or lost a friend, there are consequences to these types of relationships. You're probably going to grow to resent the person for not living up to your expectations, for breaking your heart, or for catching feelings for you when all you wanted was no strings attached. Like I said before, it ruins the friendship, and it will instill a little something in you that might make you think you were never good enough for the real deal.

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25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

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For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

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This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

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Recommended for you

5 Reasons Friends With Benefits Relationships Are Actually Not So Friendly

Calling myself out on this one, not gonna lie.

It ruins the friendship.

Someone always catches feelings.

Jealousy is inevitable.

It'll end at some point.

It won't end in friendship.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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