After being in quarantine for two months, I started to go crazy.
So crazy, in fact, that I downloaded Tinder again. I told myself last year I was done with the stupid app, but look at where I am now. I left Tinder last year because nothing ever worked. Either our plans didn't align or we ghosted each other.
As I scrolled through the many men, I realized I almost never swiped right. I started to pay attention to why I kept swiping left, and I actually found some patterns in the profiles I saw.
If you want people to swipe right on you, do not do these 15 things... Please.
1. The first picture is of their dog.
I get it, your dog is cute. However, I didn't come to Tinder to see pictures of your dog. If your first picture is of your dog, you're probably using it just to get matches. Not from me though!
2. They have their ex’s face blurred out and their profile says, "this could be you."
This. This is so annoying. Something about this just screams "desperate" and "douche".
3. They are in a group picture.
I am not going to spend my time deciphering who you are. Just give me a clear picture of you.
4. The profile is of a fictional character.
If your profile is impersonating Barry the Bee or Barney, you probably have no sense of humor, no life, and no friends. Sorry. It's not funny or cute.
5. There is no description or age listed.
This is just very sketchy and I don't like taking any chances, especially on an online dating site. I need at least some information about the person.
6. There is only one picture on their profile.
This is also very sketchy. This always leads me to believe that it is a fake profile.
7. They have pictures of them smoking, vaping, or drinking.
I swear to God, if your bio says "420 friendly" with emojis of broccoli and smoke, I am swiping left. People think that smoking weed and making questionable decisions is cute and impressive. No. It's not.
8. Their profile says “here for a good time not a long time”.
I am not here to mess around. And if I see a bio that says that they're here for a good time, I know that they are probably hoes just looking for their next prey. I don't want to be just another one of their numbers.
9. I know the person.
Awkward! I don't care how cute you are. I am not going to match with you on Tinder and then see you in person to be questioned about my profile. Nope. Sorry.
10. There are kids in the pictures.
I just don't see the point in this. I see so many profiles with kids in them and then the bio says "niece not daughter". Just leave them out of it. It is also very dangerous and irresponsible to post pictures on a dating app of young children.
11. Their name is the same as one of my family members.
Also awkward. I don't want to be in a relationship or making out with somebody while thinking of my brother or dad. That would just ruin the mood if you ask me.
12. It’s a couple looking for a third person.
NOPE. I ain't about that. Maybe someone else is into three-way relationships.
13. They have nude pictures.
This is such a turn off! Whenever I come across a profile and the first thing I see is a dick or abs, first I throw up, then I swipe left. It isn't attractive to give out unsolicited pictures to every girl on Tinder. It is disgusting.
14. Their bio says something like “swipe right if you want your heart broken”.
Well, guess I am swiping left then. Like who would ever put that in their bio? To be funny or sarcastic? I don't understand.
15. Their first picture doesn’t have their face.
Sketchy. Not about it. Not showing your face will not help build trust.
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