These Are The 3 Reasons It Wasn't You, It Was Me

These Are The 3 Reasons It Wasn't You, It Was Me

Regardless, breakups suck. But time heals all wounds, including this one.
Joanne Wu
Joanne Wu
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We’ve all been there. Or we’ll all be there eventually.

Some of us have been there multiple times, and I’m sure we can all agree, each time is never fun.

Breakups are never fun, and we all have different ways of coping with it. But that’s not what this article is going to be about.

No, this is going to be about the three reasons why we broke up.

1. I wanted to be alone

Don’t mistake being alone with being lonely. Those are two very different things.

I said I wanted to be alone. I wanted to be single. I didn’t want to have to answer to anyone. I didn’t want to have to get an “OK” from someone to do something with my friends.

Being alone doesn’t necessarily mean I want to be isolated from everyone. It just means I want to be on my own again for the first time since I was 17.

2. We just weren't compatible

It took me awhile to realize this, but we just weren’t compatible.

We both wanted different things, and no matter how much he tried to convince me otherwise—that it’d work out, that we could compromise and figure something out—I just knew it wasn’t meant to be.

3. I lost feelings

Plain and simple. I lost feelings. It had nothing to do with him. He did absolutely nothing wrong. He was perfect. He’s every girl’s dream guy—he just wasn't my guy.

And for a while, I battled that with myself. He was everything I wanted...or thought I wanted. So, why all of a sudden, did I suddenly not want him anymore?

The truth of the matter is, I simply lost feelings over time. I got bored of the same routine over and over again. And that’s normal. I shouldn’t have to feel bad or apologize for how I feel. I can’t help it, nor can I change it—even if I wanted to.

4. So, yeah, that’s why we broke up.

I’m sure you’ll end up reading this, and I hope the number of talks we’ve had about our break up, combined with this article, will help you better understand why I had to end things.

And to the rest of you reading this, hopefully, my experience helped you out if you were also in the same boat. Or maybe you’ve been through the same thing I did and can relate.

Regardless, breakups suck. But time heals all wounds, including this one.

Cover Image Credit: @mrslindseyroman
Joanne Wu
Joanne Wu

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Once You Become My Ex, Please Know I Never Want Another Text From You Again

Block my number. I've already blocked yours.

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views

Growing up, it was always super important to me to end a relationship on good terms, at least as best as I could. I was friends with pretty much all of my exes, whether we talked frequently or not. It just made things easier in a small town with one high school.

I had it all wrong, though.

The truth is, I don't want to be your friend if we break up. Hell, I don't even want you to text me. There's no reason for it.

Be up in arms all you want at the "pettiness" or "drama" of this if that's what you want to do, I don't really care either way. Each relationship I've experienced in my lifetime has a specific place in my past, but that's exactly where they'll stay: my past. Every ex has their own designated chapter in a closed book.

When you end on terms that are even remotely OK, it's easy to stay checked in into each other's lives, whether that's texting or following them on social media. Something reminds you of them and you both text and reminisce about it, you congratulate them on a Facebook post, you watch their Snapchat and Instagram stories.

I don't care if you think we ended on good terms or not, don't check up on me. Don't tell me you hope I'm doing well. Don't try to contact me at all, frankly.

We're not friends. We were a couple, but now we're not. Any form of a relationship between the two of us ceased to exist the moment we ended our relationship. I'm not in high school anymore, I'm not still in that small town. I don't need to be your friend and keep up appearances to ensure the friend group still feels like nothing's really changed or to make everyone feel comfortable when we're both around.

So who are we kidding? There's just no reason for you to interact with me in any capacity. I don't need to be checked up on. I don't need you to text me for any reason, ever. Trust me, I'm doing just fine.

To all of my exes, you've held a significant place in my life, sure.

But your friendship isn't crucial to my happiness anymore.

I learned how to be just fine without you, so it's time for you to do the same.

I don't need the pleasantries, so just forget them. It's fine and all that maybe they matter to you, but they don't to me. I can promise you that I don't want to hear from you. I don't want to know how you've been, I don't want to know what you've been up to.

I've moved on. I don't need you in my life anymore, and frankly, I don't want you in it. I don't need to be your friend. So don't follow me on Twitter, delete me from your Snapchat, and block my number. I've already blocked yours.

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To My Best Friend Dealing With A Broken Heart, We'll Get Through This Together

I can't actually fill that void.

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To my best friend dealing with a broken heart,

It won't last forever.

Your heart, scratch that—you—will heal. You're already strong, but you'll become tougher. You're already smart, but you'll become wiser. You're already sexy, but you'll become even more irresistible.

And I'll be here the entire time. I can't wait to see who you become.

It won't be easy. I'm not going to sugar coat it and say that you'll be smiling and confidently strutting the streets by tomorrow. You have everything you need, but if your heart needs some time, take it. There's no rulebook. Honestly, I don't know how I got out of my rut, but I did and now I'm here. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I cried on end, but my support group–you–helped me through it one day at a time. Don't stress about what other people think—even me, forget my thoughts! Focus on you. What does your body need? What does your soul need?

I'm sorry. I wish I could take away this pain.

There's nothing that can compare to this feeling and I know I can't actually fill that void—no one can, other than you.

You never think it'll happen to you.

You had the future planned out. You shared your deepest darkest secrets. You both shared, I love you's and genuinely meant it. Of course, there were happy times. It was all real. I won't bash your ex unless you need me to (personally, I cringe anytime someone speaks badly of my ex... at the end of the day, I loved that man) but, just know, you did everything you could.

It wasn't meant to be and, one day, you will find your happily ever after. That love will be greater than anything you can ever imagine.

I'm not going to sit here and let you mope. The memories will never fade, but at this moment, forget about the past and the future, only the now. If you are angry, punch a wall, but steer away from feeling regret. Nothing in life is worth regretting over. It is all lessons-learned and adventures to remember later on.

This will pass and you will laugh about it. When I heard that for the first time, I wanted to scream, I could never laugh at the situation, but here I am now. You lost someone and that's never easy, but you've also gained so much experience.

You are gorgeous and breathtaking, you better start believing it because anyone would be so lucky to have you in their life.

Today, you start loving yourself.

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