Yes, I Am The 'Relationship Type,' But That Doesn't Mean I Can't Handle Being Alone

Yes, I Am The 'Relationship Type,' But That Doesn't Mean I Can't Handle Being Alone

I could be single if I wanted to.
6464
views

Since I was about 12 years old I have been dating.

This sounds crazy, I know. I began my dating endeavors when I was 12 years old and dated that same person until I was 18 and in college.

Then, when I got to college I was enamored by my best friend and actively tried to pursue a relationship with him for about six months until it inevitably failed.

Now, I am in a new relationship that is bright and very loving.

However, I have come to realize through my few relationships that I could be considered a "serial monogamist."

I am constantly dating or in an exclusive relationship. Don't get me wrong, the only relationships worth mentioning have already been stated above, which is not that many, but it has come to my attention that I have been seeing someone more often than not since I was 12.

Yikes.

I know what you're thinking; the same things I always think when I see people who are constantly dating.

"They must be afraid of being alone."

"They must be insecure."

"They need to focus on themselves for once."

I get it. I have seen it. But I don't think I fit in that quota.

Although I have been in long-term relationships for most of my adolescence and adult life, I do not believe in the slightest that I need to be with someone.

I’m just the commitment type.

I’m not ashamed of it. I don't have a fear of being alone. I don’t feel vulnerable, and I don’t consider myself to be needy or clingy.

I don’t need the comfort or security of a relationship, but I want it. I have the ability to uphold a relationship while still finding myself.

These days the dating scene is depressing. Everyone just wants casual sex or thinks they deserve praise for being single.

Everyone thinks they are too good for a relationship because they don't need anybody, and they are so empowered by their single lifestyle and having "freedom."

Now, being single isn't a bad thing as long as you're happy. Just like it's not a bad thing to choose to be in a relationship (as long as you're in it for the right reasons.)

I do believe I have only chosen to date people for the right reasons.

I did not choose to date any of these guys just because it was easy meeting new people in college. I did not choose to be in a relationship so I could get stuff out of dating them.

I did not choose to date people because they showed the slightest amount of interest in me. I did not choose to continue to date people just because I was with them for a long period of time.

Those would be the wrong reasons to date.

For me, there is a lot to be said about being the “relationship type.”

I have learned valuable lessons about myself and what I want in a partner from each of my relationships and friendships I have had.

Throughout these relationships, I have always told myself I do not need a boyfriend, but I am lucky to have one.

A common misconception about being in a long-term relationship or being a notorious dater is that I don’t know myself.

However, I believe all my relationships have been mature and had the right amount of freedom to help both parties grow.

While in relationships I still have learned how I like to spend my time alone.

I have still been able to get to know myself.

Over the years I have discovered that the best part of my days is jamming out in the car alone. I have learned that doing art alone in my room is when I feel the most comfortable in my own skin.

I have learned that reality shows are just a thing for my friends and I, not for my boyfriends and I. I have learned that I will probably never get the courage to dance as crazy as I do alone in my underwear.

I have learned that I am moody. I can get hangry. I am opinionated.

That is OK though.

So, yes, I am a notorious girlfriend. But that is not all I am.

I am so much more.

From the few times I have been alone and while I have been in relationships I have found within myself, and not with the help of a partner, what I want to do with my life and what kind of person I am becoming.

You can discover yourself in a relationship.

You can be comfortable being alone, even if you are labeled as “taken.”

I am me. I am comfortable being me in a relationship or if I was single.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

6 Reasons You Should ALWAYS 'Fake-Type' Your Crush On Snapchat

It might work, it might not... but, it's always worth a shot!

kileyhug
kileyhug
3615
views

Fake-Type — Verb. 1. Pushing random letters on Snapchat messages without ever sending anything just so your name will pop up on that person's phone.

When your crush doesn't wanna talk to you, you can always send a "fake type" message to give him the hint you want to talk. It might work, it might not... but, it's always worth a shot!

Here are 6 reasons you should at least TRY fake-typing your crush on Snapchat!

1. Leave him wondering

Once he sees that "_______ is typing...", he will be staring at his phone to see what it is you have to say. Does it just say hey? Does it ask to hang? Does it ask to bang? Is it you bitching him out? He'll wait a couple minutes and realize you never sent anything? He might send you the "what's up" text then mission will be accomplished.

2. To just see if he replies

Maybe he's just waiting on you to make the first move? Maybe this is just the push y'all needed to start a conversation? Maybe he was going to talk to you later in the day, but you just moved up the time? And if he doesn't reply, just act like it was an accident.

3. To make yourself feel like you have balls without actually saying anything

No girl really wants to Snapchat her crush first even though she really wants to talk to him. The least you can do is make your name pop up on his phone and feel like you actually did something. And, you actually did do something either way. You either got his attention or made him talk to you. You got balls, girl.

4. To make yourself feel a little less pathetic all while being totally pathetic

Yeah, it's kind of embarrassing when he hits you with that "Did you mean to do that?" But not so much when he says, "Hey, what are you up to?" It's kind of up in the air on which will happen, but you always can blame it on an accident. That's not too pathetic, is it?

5. To get your psycho girl fix

Sometimes you're just having a bad day and want to talk to your crush. When he is not talking to you, you just feel like being a psycho until he does. When the fake typing works, the psycho girl fix is gone, and you can act like a normal girl again.

6. Just to do it

If you really like this boy and have already snapped him first before, just go for the fake type. If you fake type a couple of times and he never replies, just take the hint and leave him alone. What really do you have to lose with a fake type?

I hope everyone fake types their crush at least once in their life just for the thrill of seeing what he will say or if he will ever say anything. Good luck, and I hope this inspires you to fake type that guy.

kileyhug
kileyhug

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The 7 Traits That Define An Alpha Female

Throw her to the wolves and she'll return with the pack.
1567
views

Women are weak.

Women are fragile.

Women are submissive.

Women are second.

Women are stereotyped.

We are frustratingly put second because that is just how it has always been. With this notion, the alpha woman stands out. She is unconventional and to many men, this scares them away. Her confidence oozes her alpha demeanor and instills levels of immense intimidation in the mindsets of many. With this unconventional mindset, alpha women are misunderstood in not only relationships but in daily life. By getting to know an alpha female's characteristics you will better be able to understand why dating an alpha-female may be the way to go.

Here are the characteristics of an alpha female:

1. She won't give up easily.

She is resilient. When an alpha female has a goal, it becomes a major focus that encompasses her mind. She sees herself as an investment. In this regard, she will tirelessly work to upkeep her social, physical, and emotional state of mind. She won't play victim to life and become thrashed by harsh-comings, but rather will take them head on.

2. She isn't afraid to make the first move.

This is where a lot of alpha and beta females may differ. Making the first move toward a guy at a bar is her specialty. Why should a boy be the one to always make the first move? So thankfully for you boys, alpha females can take that burden off you. This bold approach exemplifies her spontaneous, self-assured, confident, and outgoing nature. She knows what she wants and goes for it without hesitation.

3. She is extremely loyal.

She is loyal and respectful to the ones she loves. Once she has someone or something int heir life, they work hard to keep it around. She says what she wants and wants what she says. Letting people or things slip through her fingers is not a common occurrence. With an alpha female knowing what she wants, she won't jeopardize relationships or friendships over petty things. Not feeling the need to use dishonest tactics, she lives her life with integrity.

4. She lives with purpose.

She has direction in her life. While she knows how to relax and be adventurous, she does not just wander as a lost puppy in her life. Working toward goals of physical fitness, doing well in school, or attaining a good career are examples of purpose she works toward. She stays aware of her goals and keeps them in the center of her thoughts. Dating an alpha female, you can be ensured she will get what she will get things done and will work hard to ensure happiness in the relationship.

5. She isn't afraid to be or do things by herself.

The alpha female isn't afraid of independence, and in fact, often times will welcome it. Strong leadership skills are almost always a common trait. This often times can lead to a sense of intimidation from others as they feel threatened by her self-confidence. While company is a positive, it is not always necessary. In relationships, this has potential to be either a positive or negative. Allowing an alpha female to have her own times and space, or at least feel as if she is in control sometimes, is essential to the relationships well-being.

6. She knows how to love.

Strong-hearted and strong-willed describe her well. She won't experience damsel in distress moments and need to be saved by a boy, so you don't need to worry about her not being able to hold her own. When she loves, she loves hard in every way, shape, and form. She will challenge you to be the best you can be and provide support along the way, to any absurd idea you may have. She'll strive to make your duo the best team around. She doesn't live a mediocre life and won't let your relationship be that way either. She isn't afraid of her sexuality, either. If you have captured her heart, you can imagine she will love you well.

7. She is ambitious.

She dares to go there. As Kendrick would say, she has "hustle though, ambition, flow, inside her DNA." She believes she is responsible for her own life and if she has somewhere she wants or needs to be, she is the only means of which she will get there. Her personality thrives off taking responsibility for herself and for others. She lives void of the idea of restricting limitations.

Cover Image Credit: Zastavki / Wallpaper

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments